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Anthropology Pronouns Or Else The Thrill Of Shopping

Trying It On

June 3, 2023 93 Comments

And in ladies’ changing room news:

A non-binary shopper said they felt ‘dehumanised’ and accused a fashion brand of being ‘transphobic’ after they were refused entry to a women’s changing room. Giorgio Firico, 21, tried to go to the ladies changing room at Zara in Oxford when the female assistant told them it was against the rules and refused to give them a number for the clothing. Giorgio, who studies in the US and is in Oxford visiting a friend, said: “I was wearing men’s clothing, but I had two gowns on my shoulder, it was obvious what I wanted to try on.”

Trying it on is indeed a phrase that comes to mind.

“At first, I was shocked and I went away. Then I thought for one second, it’s my right. I do not identify myself as a man, I have a right to be there. I went back and explained clearly, I am non-binary, I am not a man.”

At which point, readers may note how Mr Firico’s professed “non-binary” status doesn’t mean that he’d be content in the men’s changing rooms, as an option, with either being fine, and instead grants, in his mind, an entitlement to violate store policy and the boundaries of women. He’s “not a man,” you see – and by the same logic, if that’s the word, not a woman either – but apparently, that women’s space is his kingdom now. And ladies who’d rather not get undressed near some random male interloper – whether that man is mentally ill or an opportunist pervert – are expected to shut up and comply. Because his identity, or feigned identity, trumps theirs.

It’s all terribly convenient.

Despite his incongruity, Mr Firico doesn’t appear at all curious as to the preferences of any female customers on whom he might be imposing, and his view of the store’s female staff is perhaps best judged by his willingness to ignore their objections while barging into a space not intended for men:

“She kept saying it’s against the rules. But I said, I do not think you know my gender better than me.” Giorgio walked past the shop assistant and into the ladies dressing room… Giorgio said: “Afterwards I went out and said you should be ashamed of the way you have dehumanized me especially as the shop does not have a gender-neutral changing room.”

Views as to which party should feel ashamed may, I suspect, differ. And note that any female customers who might feel uncomfortable or degraded by sharing an intimate space with a bearded bedlamite are, again, expected to keep quiet and defer. In this new, inclusive world, there is, it seems, a pecking order.

Despite a subsequent apology by the store’s manager, we’re told that the experience of not getting his own way immediately and entirely without objection was “embarrassing” for Mr Firico, especially as a sales assistant “rolled her eyes.” Readers are invited to say whether hearing of such unspeakable trauma will deprive them of any sleep.

Mr Firico, complete with stunning gown, can be seen here. The clasping of the hands is a lovely touch.

Via ripx4nutmeg.

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Written by: David
Ephemera

Friday Ephemera (680)

June 2, 2023 72 Comments

Nommy-nommy-nom. || Scenes from Quebec’s Museum of Civilisation. || Strange doggo. || Dogs, as understood by artificial intelligence. || He does this better than you do. || Bathing suit. || Brum brum. || The erotic arts. || Tickle my hindquarters. || Best to give it some clearance, I think. || Romancing detected. || New rules issued by unhappy man. || The fear that men know. || Pretentious guilt will take you to some strange places. || The unspanked at large. || The situation, alas, did not improve. || Stayin’ Alive. || His day at work was worse than yours. || For people who like folding and unfolding their furniture. (h/t, Mark) || A little something for feet enthusiasts. || Fly with confidence, they said. || And finally, via Darleen, have you fiddled with yours in the last twenty minutes?

Should you be tempted, you can follow me on Twitter.

 

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Anthropology Pronouns Or Else

New Niche Indignation

May 30, 2023 169 Comments

Come, let us dip a toe in the world of transgender Reddit – specifically, rFTMOver30 – where the sexually dysmorphic hunt for slips-ups, pronoun blunders, and tiny acts of transgression. As you might imagine, things can get quite competitive.

First, a little background on the author of this particular woe:

About six months into dating, I went back on [testosterone] and have been on it for about 14 months. Aside from my voice not being deep enough for my liking, I pass 90-100% of the time in person, 50/50 over the phone. I changed my pronouns to he/him a few months ago and now identify as a binary trans man. [My cis female partner] has always been incredibly supportive of my transition, took care of me during top surgery, and largely has been my biggest ally, but at the moment I’m struggling.

The struggle involves a devilish innovation in the world of “transphobia”:

Last night, we had some of her friends over. Two cis het women and one of their husbands… So, we’re all hanging out, having a good time, and the single friend (we’ll call her Alison) makes a comment about women being afraid when walking to their cars at night, etc., and turns to the cis guy (“John”) and says, “You know, men, John!” – making a joke, because apparently John is the only man in the room!!!

This inadvertent favouring of factual accuracy is, it turns out, only the appetiser. The main basis for umbrage is about to become clear.

I get it. I too was afraid of men walking to my car when I was identifying as a woman (I came out as trans at 33. I’m almost 36 now). So I can understand on some level acknowledging the cis man who didn’t have those experiences, but it totally invalidates me for obvious reasons.

And so,

While I may not be cis, to exclude me from potentially being a danger to women… is transphobic.

There we go. New ground broken. Drinks all round.

After the gathering, when the guests had left, apologies were of course extracted from the author’s partner, along with confessions of wrongdoing, for daring to suggest that no harm was intended. Needless to say, and despite the lengthy confession and profuse apologies, and despite promises to “sit down” with Alison and correct her, the author of the piece is, we’re told, “having trouble moving on.”

You see, if friends come over for a pleasant evening and they don’t immediately consider you a potential mugger of women, or rapist of women, this is oppressive, “invalidating,” and “transphobic.” Such that it feels like “a punch in the gut.” It’s perhaps not the most obvious basis for invoking the unfairness of the world and one’s own endless suffering, but hey. In this competition, contrivance equals bonus points.

Quite what the author’s partner makes of this news – that in order to avoid being “transphobic,” she must consider her transgender lover a potential rapist – is, alas, not divulged.

Readers are invited to ponder the prospect of a dinner party at which, in order to be polite and suitably affirming, you’re obliged to insinuate that the host is rapist material. And to do it convincingly. Rather than, say, compliment the cooking or the décor.

Please update your files and lifestyles accordingly.

Via Eliza Mondegreen.

Update, via the comments:

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Written by: David
Ephemera

Friday Ephemera (679)

May 26, 2023 200 Comments

A rather tense situation. || His is bigger than yours. || Taste the rainbow. || Not today, baby. || British policing, circa 2023. || Meanwhile, in Germany. || “We don’t use gendered language in this household.” || And how was your day at school? || When getting dressed has to be, like, super-duper complicated. || Today’s word is parenting. || Car park encounter. || Post-shoplifting scenario. || Chicago airport scenes. || Parking is hard. || Apparently, it runs in families. || He has euphoria-inducing stains. || Hello, ladies. || “Love never fails.” || It’s not milk, sir, and it’s not at all nutritious. Also. || Cannot say, must not think. || Side-eye of note. || When you’re not really that keen on tomatoes. || A scale model of time. || And finally, when you turn up at the wrong house but still fancy your chances.

Should you be tempted, you can follow me on Twitter.

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Academia Media Politics

Turns Out This Thing Is Interactive

May 24, 2023 69 Comments

From the comments, some items you may have missed. We’ll kick things off with some kicking off, care of commenter Mr Farnsworth M Muldoon:

Move along now, nothing to see here, just an adjunct professor with a machete chasing a reporter down the street.

Curious how when you hear of yet another educator being intolerant, childish, or wildly unhinged, you don’t need to ask what their politics might be.

Speaking of unhinged:

REPORT: Ron DeSantis Will Formally Announce His 2024 Bid With Elon Musk, Because Apparently David Duke Wasn’t Available.

After many months of refusing to confirm what so many people already suspected, Ron DeSantis will reportedly announce on Wednesday that he is running for president. And that’s not all: He is said to be planning to formally jump into the 2024 race during a conversation on Twitter with Elon Musk, because apparently other neo-Nazi sympathizers weren’t available.

When you get your news from Vanity Fair.

Found via Flappr.

And with near-telepathic simultaneity:

Twitter Is A Far-Right Social Network. 

You see, Twitter has “fully assumed the role of a far-right platform.” “It is,” says The Atlantic, “accurate to call [Elon Musk] a far-right activist.”

It can no longer be denied. 

Remember, dear readers, always respect the media.

Oh, and because I do like quoting myself, we revisited the moral pretensions of Guardian columnist Zoe Williams:

The abandonment of distinctions between the unfortunate and the merely verminous is a phenomenon we’ve seen before. As when the Guardian’s Zoe Williams wanted us to believe that the problem with ‘problem families’ is simply that they’re poor, and nothing whatsoever to do with how they choose to abuse their equally poor neighbours. And so attempts to deal with people who repeatedly play loud music at 3am or throw pets from top floor windows are framed as a “demonization of the poor” and “trying to shunt people out of society for not being rich enough.”

According to Zoe, we should be “unstigmatising,” which is to say, non-judgmental. A result of which is that empathy, or feigned empathy, is shifted from the working class victim of crime and antisocial behaviour to the working class perpetrator of crime and antisocial behaviour, on grounds that the thug or criminal is in some way being oppressed and, unlike their neighbours, being made to misbehave.

Presumably Ms Williams’ own neighbours have little in common with, say, the delightful Stuart Murgatroyd, a father of twelve who has never worked and boasts an extensive criminal record, not least for robbing the elderly in graveyards, and whose attempt to challenge an antisocial behaviour order was cut short at the very last minute due to him being arrested for assaulting the mother of his children, herself a convicted getaway driver, on the steps of the courthouse.

And I suspect our infinitely compassionate Guardianista has yet to experience an all-night eleven-hour rave being hosted next door, which would doubtless give her an opportunity to practise that non-judgmental piety.

See? If you poke about, you never know what you’ll find.

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In which we marvel at the mental contortions of our self-imagined betters.