For some reason, the words “false reporting” caught my eye.

Via Joan.

Consider this an open thread.

Time for some thoughts on crime. From the pages of the Guardian:

Being a Guardian contributor, the author, Ms Anna Spargo-Ryan, a resident of Melbourne, is of course conflicted. Her feelings, it turns out, are something of a tangle. We’re told of the uncontrollable shaking, the shattered sense of safety, the fear for a missing cat, and the experience of subsequently finding items of stolen clothing discarded in the street. “I am so frightened,” says our columnist:

All understandable, and far too commonplace. And yet, simultaneously, the experience is dismissed by the author as one of being merely “inconvenienced for a few days.” “The relative impact of this one night on the whole of my life is nothing compared to setting up a child to reoffend,” says she.

Messages, I think, that are ever so slightly mixed.

Before we go any further, I should point out that the words child and children, used throughout the piece, may be a tad misleading, as the identities of the burglars – who stole, among other items, knives, keys, jewellery, a wallet, and a car – have, at the time of writing, not been shared, or, one assumes, determined. The culprits, who presumably still roam free, are assumed to be teenagers, out for an invigorating spree of robbery and joyriding.

And the word child is so much fluffier. Ah, bless those rosy cheeks.

Well, it was a big egg. || A visit to the barber. || Enliven your cleaning with the laser of shame. || Nibbles. || Embiggening of note. || Some cooking occurred. || Row brewing. || Steed and Mrs Peel visit The Town Of No Return. || Remember, this never happens. (NSFW) || Now I want patterned ice. || She handled that pretty well, I think. || Maybe, just maybe, the problem is you, madam. || The progressive retail experience, parts 455 and 456. || More joys of public transport. || Bohemian Rhapsody. || Drag moth. || Today’s word is modification. || Today’s other word is incongruity. || The great house cat migration. (h/t, Things) || Next door, honey. || Shift Happens. || From the hood. || Clarkson’s Farm, series two. || And finally, it’s always a pleasure when someone makes it look effortless.

You can, should you wish, follow me on Twitter.

Yuliah Alma on a suboptimal substitute teacher:

When not conscripting middle-school children into his cross-dressing psychodrama, and presumably being thrilled by the thought of 11-year-olds seeing him in various states of undress, while discussing “kink” and sexual positions, Mr Lamere tells us, “I’m not a predator, I’m just a woman who happens to be super tall and hot.”

Mr Lamere’s employment history includes “environmental educator” and, er, pest control.

Update, via the comments:

Crabs give pedicure. || Deaf man and his cat. || Not quite what I imagined. || Calling International Rescue. || The calculator drawer. || Random Street Views. || City living scenes. || A.I. attempts to make sign-language manual. (h/t, Dicentra) || At last, music generated from text. || Smart slime and throbbing bloblets. || Bruising of the soft tissue. || You had one bloody job. || But only when it rains. || Back passage of note. (h/t, Damian) || Ancient Earth Globe. || Theirs is considerably bigger than yours. || Gently does it. || A decision was made. || Thriller, Indian version. || Chain reaction. || ChronoPhoto, a photographical history game. (h/t, Things) || Coffee can do anything. || And finally, don’t worry, it’s a weight-saving measure.