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Dating Decisions
Dating Decisions Pronouns Or Else

Don’t Let Them See The Stubble

August 25, 2024 102 Comments

Lifted from the comments, via Mr Muldoon, a rather coy omission:

Roxanne Tickle has won her discrimination case against the social media app ‘Giggle for Girls’, which blocked her from joining on the basis of being male. This is a step forward in ensuring transgender women are not discriminated against on the basis of their gender identity. pic.twitter.com/552Qq6r2KJ

— Amnesty International (@amnesty) August 23, 2024

A less pretentious, and rather more frank, account of the above can be found here. Note that Mr Tickle – Roxy Tickle – was enabled in his mission by the University of New South Wales, via a $50,000 grant, and that his methods of persuasion included equating insufficiently compliant women with the Ku Klux Klan, and making phone calls to the site’s owner at her home.

When not suing women who would rather not participate in his fantasies of sudden-onset womanhood, Mr Tickle spends his time sharing Instagram photographs of his underwear and neck hair, and cartoon sex toys.

Readers are invited to imagine the mindset of Amnesty International and their fellow enthusiasts of transgression. A mindset in which you have to pointedly not share an obviously relevant piece of information in order to maintain the pretence of righteousness:

Or, “If we let them see the reality of the situation, they won’t comply. So we mustn’t let them see the reality of the situation.”

Imagine that’s your thought process, consciously or otherwise.

A more honest and realistic report might say, “Weirdly vindictive cross-dressing man launches three-year-long harassment campaign against women who object to the imposition of his compulsions – namely, making women and girls uncomfortable for his own gratification.”

Or, “Weirdly vindictive cross-dressing men who exult in violating the normal boundaries of women and girls are an obvious danger, and should be regarded accordingly.”

Something along those lines.

Update, via the comments,

Mags asks,

“Roxy Tickle.” Why do they always have porn names?

Once registered, it is an oddly common phenomenon.

Pst314 adds,

Tickle is a living reminder that some people should be discriminated against.

Well, the blunting of normal, quite rational discernment does seem to be the goal. As Ms Grover put it,

If you’ve got a man in a female only space, you’re dealing with someone who has no respect for boundaries. You’re already dealing with a predator. Good men don’t go into female spaces. Female spaces exist to protect us from the men who want to go in. 

I would suggest that compelling people, with the force of law, to pretend that men are actually women, and compelling them to deny the reality that, as a group, cross-dressing men pose a significant statistical threat, is itself unjust. To impose unrealism in this way, to suppress discernment of the obvious, is hardly benign. To compel people to pretend that, as the judge put it, “sex is changeable.”

And so, in the name of protecting women, and as a result of amending laws intended to protect women, women must now welcome intrusions and dangers that would previously have been recognised, but which now, it seems, no longer can be, at least not lawfully. Not only in terms of a social media app used by women to find roommates and travel companions, but also with implications for changing rooms, toilets, sports, prisons, and even rape shelters.

But, ah, smell the progress.

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Reading time: 2 min
Written by: David
Anthropology Dating Decisions Free-For-All Pronouns Or Else

A Failure To Affirm

April 7, 2024 96 Comments

From the Reddit forum r/mypartneristrans, a tale of romantic complication:

Today, my partner of a year just came out to me as a trans woman, and I’m ashamed to say I don’t think I reacted very well. 

The feeling of being, shall we say, misled can do that, I suppose.

It was done over text, and basically consisted of me trying to convince them that their life will be so much harder if they come out as trans, much less a trans woman… I just don’t know what to do. I found them attractive before, what if I don’t now? 

Twist incoming.

I’ve been out as trans man for close to a year and a half now… I’m trans, I’m supposed to be gung-ho about all of this, right? 

Oh my, a spotlight shared. Awkward. Or, “Woman who wants to pretend she’s a gay man is thwarted by male partner now wanting to pretend he’s a woman, resulting in something not unlike straightness, albeit with extra steps.”

As I said, complications.

Readers are welcome to speculate as to whose feelings are more, er, valid in the scenario above.

And before you ask, the outlook isn’t great:

It just seems a lot easier to leave right now because things are already rocky, and this is just a rather large cherry on top. 

Update, via the comments:

Regarding this,

me trying to convince them that their life will be so much harder if they come out as trans, much less a trans woman…

Mags adds,

He she didn’t use her his pronouns. 

Indeed. A notable omission. One that results in finger-wagging from fellow forum regulars:

You do have to respect that SHE is the expert on her own gender, not you, 

It’s a bold claim. And despite which, the person being scolded, a woman who expects to be taken seriously as a man, can’t bring herself to take seriously as a woman her own male partner. There’s no she or her, just a grudging them. Which does rather cast some doubt on the broader enterprise.

Readers who poke through the subsequent replies will note how almost any kind of questioning – even expressions of surprise and concern from an intimate partner – is promptly dismissed as “hurtful,” “transphobic,” and “pretty shitty,” something to apologise for. As if anything short of immediate and gushing affirmation – pretty much any hesitation at all – were an act of wickedness.

Also, this caught my eye:

I think my main fear is them looking like a drag queen? Where you can tell that it’s a man dressed as a woman, and that I don’t find particularly attractive. 

Which is something of a drawback, given the odds on that matter.

One of the commenters then replies that “drag queen is a look,” by which they mean valid, a possible aspiration, and that one should “interrogate those feelings” that looking like a drag queen is probably not ideal.

Via Rafi.

In other, happier news, open thread. Share ye links and bicker.

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Written by: David
Dating Decisions Free-For-All The Genitals Of Tomorrow

The Genitals Of Tomorrow

October 25, 2023 83 Comments

Are you ready for a “genderqueer planet”? Of course you are. And obviously, you have questions.

Thank goodness a teacher walks among us, a guide to what lies ahead. Meet Laura (formerly Lawrence) Jacobs, a man who describes himself as “trans and genderqueer-identified, kinky and non-monogamous,” and as a “lesbian” with “multiple intersecting identities.” And – because the universe has a sense of humour – a psychotherapist.

Above, Mr Jacobs and his lingerie.

When not offering his expertise to prostitutes and “unicorns,” and devotees of polyamory and nipple clamps, Mr Jacobs shares his feverish visions with those less enlightened:

Will technology give us options that are artistic and creative? Do we have to stick to penis and vagina norms? Can we have genitalia that look like flowers? Or abstract sculpture?

It’s all terribly exciting:

Get ready for flowerplasty https://t.co/gj5MQlgsUG

— Σ𝕏ulansic 🦎 (@TTExulansic) October 25, 2023

Readers with a taste for “empowered acts of self-creation,” and an unstable sense of self, will find much to chew on. The promise of wonders as yet unimagined. Because those bizarre, prosthetic pseudo-genitals will be “valid and valued.” And crowds will surely come.

Though given the limitations of current technology, as illustrated vividly here, you may have to wait a while.

Still, while you look forward to all those below-the-belt upgrades, you could always book a Zoom session and whet that appetite. You see, Mr Jacobs is more than a mere psychotherapist. He’s a full-on guru, practically a messiah:

Tolerate us? Accept us? You should revere us. We’re confronting boundaries and deconstructing assumptions made by history and society. We are evolving gender into something wondrous. We hope the world will learn from our wisdom.

Yes, those repeatedly mutilated novelty genitals – the ones that, if you squint, look like flowers or abstract sculpture – will light the way.

Batteries not included.

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Written by: David
Anthropology Dating Decisions Free-For-All His Pretty Nails

There’s Something To Be Said For Inhibition

June 25, 2023 97 Comments

I miss the concept of shame. As social correctives go, it was underrated.

Apparently, we’ve arrived at a stage of civilisation in which chunky middle-aged men dress as women and then deliberately piss themselves in public, on camera, as an erotic high, before sharing the recording on social media and awaiting likes. Which is to say, affirmation.

See also, via Stephanie, this. And somewhat related, this item here.

Lifted from the comments, which you’re reading of course. Also, open thread.

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Written by: David
Academia Dating Decisions Free-For-All

Our Betters Stroke Their Pets

November 28, 2022 69 Comments

I’m just going to leave this here, I think: 

[Kathy] Rudy seems uncertain as to whether she is sexually attracted to her own dogs: “I know I love my dogs with all my heart, but I can’t figure out if that love is sexually motivated.” For some reason, I’ve never grappled with this problem, but then again, I’m not versed in Queer Theory.

Other questions generated by means of Queer Theorising include, “Do I think I’m having sex with my dogs when they kiss my face?” Apparently, for Dr Rudy, a Professor of Women’s Studies, being licked by a dog is difficult to distinguish from kissing grandma on the cheek or being lost in a full-on erotic fever. And thus, we’re told, “The line between ‘animal lover’ and zoophile is not only thin, it is non-existent.” 

Previously in the land of Queer Theory. 

And of course this rather eye-widening example.

Also, open thread.

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Written by: David
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In which we marvel at the mental contortions of our self-imagined betters.