A Failure To Affirm
From the Reddit forum r/mypartneristrans, a tale of romantic complication:
The feeling of being, shall we say, misled can do that, I suppose.
Twist incoming.
Oh my, a spotlight shared. Awkward. Or, “Woman who wants to pretend she’s a gay man is thwarted by male partner now wanting to pretend he’s a woman, resulting in something not unlike straightness, albeit with extra steps.”
As I said, complications.
Readers are welcome to speculate as to whose feelings are more, er, valid in the scenario above.
And before you ask, the outlook isn’t great:
Update, via the comments:
Regarding this,
Mags adds,
Indeed. A notable omission. One that results in finger-wagging from fellow forum regulars:
It’s a bold claim. And despite which, the person being scolded, a woman who expects to be taken seriously as a man, can’t bring herself to take seriously as a woman her own male partner. There’s no she or her, just a grudging them. Which does rather cast some doubt on the broader enterprise.
Readers who poke through the subsequent replies will note how almost any kind of questioning – even expressions of surprise and concern from an intimate partner – is promptly dismissed as “hurtful,” “transphobic,” and “pretty shitty,” something to apologise for. As if anything short of immediate and gushing affirmation – pretty much any hesitation at all – were an act of wickedness.
Also, this caught my eye:
Which is something of a drawback, given the odds on that matter.
One of the commenters then replies that “drag queen is a look,” by which they mean valid, a possible aspiration, and that one should “interrogate those feelings” that looking like a drag queen is probably not ideal.
Via Rafi.
In other, happier news, open thread. Share ye links and bicker.
I didn’t see that coming, as our host would say.
I mean, what’s really the difference? At least, when it comes to the actual sexual act. He is going to peg her assuming they both still have their working parts.
If they don’t, well, I guess that’s that.
I’ve prepared graph paper and coloured pencils, in case anyone is confused.
Also, I read some of the comments on Reddit. Basically, “you’re a shit person for reacting the way you did but your feelings are invalid, here, let us persuade you to keep the trans flag flying.”
Related, the artist formerly known as The Human Ken Doll™ has issues with J K Rowling and tells us he has never felt like a man and is therefore a woman.
I mean his passport says so, so it must be true.
I’m unhappy: I have nothing to share and nothing to bicker about.
Too kind.
Every woman I’ve known with large breasts suffers back pain or has had reduction surgery.
I learn so much from our little chats.
Roughly between the 1960s and the early 2000s, progressive society generally agreed that one is sexually attracted to whoever one is attracted to, and that’s not to be questioned (pedos excepted).
But now, apparently, one is politically OBLIGED to be attracted to certain groups. Otherwise you’re a bigot.
It just seems a lot easier to leave right now because things are already rocky
It’s almost like the deeply traumatized and mentally ill struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Or relationships at all, for that matter.
And before you ask, the outlook isn’t great
Ya think?
It’s funny how those that demand acceptance and celebration from everyone else are so hesitant to reciprocate when it’s their turn.
It’s not very much unlike the case of Dylan Mulvaney bemoaning his lack of romantic partners. I can’t imagine very many gay men (or gay women) being interested in a gay man who pretends he’s a woman, nor do I see many straight men jumping on board either.
Heshe didn’t usehisher pronouns.No wait.
Heshe didn’t useherhis pronouns.[ Looks at Mags. Passes graph paper, coloured pencils. ]
LOL
Guy tries to be a woman:
gay men–you look too much like a woman for me to be interested.
guy: “but I’m a lesbian”
lesbians: not with that dick you don’t
straight women: ewwww
guy: “I can’t get a date!”
I have known precisely one woman who uses a spatula to put on makeup: she is overweight and not attractive but very much wants to be attractive. In spite of the garish makeup, she acts female, has a feminine voice, etc. Humans are very sensitive to the sexuality of those around them. For example, a study found that strippers when at peak fertility made twice as much in tips as when on the rag. The guys did not know but responded to physical cues. People can see if someone is not well (medically but also mentally) and will avoid them without knowing they do so. Even social animals will avoid a herd member who is infected. When my daughter was little she could detect people who had a screw loose and would ask us about them. She had 100% accuracy. No amount of political pressure will get people to date or affirm those who do not turn them on or who seem nuts. Sorry.
He is going to peg her assuming they both still have their working parts.
I wouldn’t necessarily assume that the one with the penis is pegging anybody. I’m willing to bet he’s a catcher not a pitcher.
The fraction of the population that are sociopaths is usually estimated to be 3 percent. But given how many people protect these scum, I’d boost it to 10 percent.
He is going to peg her assuming they both still have their working parts.
No worries Starbucks can sort this!
“asylum seeker”
“I do not agree with your narrow view of what 2 + 2 is”
I’d boost it to 10 percent
I’ve seen credible estimates that the proportion of benign sociopathy is as high as 20% of the population, although I tend to think that’s stretching the defintion so far as to be unhelpful.
I love happy endings.
Cluster Bs (narcissists, histrionics, borderlines) seem to be functional sociopaths. They’re capable of feeling remorse sometimes, but they do such horrible stuff while believing they’re just defending themselves that they’re as dangerous as the sociopaths.
It’s not just social media that’s causing Cluster B traits to be tolerated and even celebrated, is it?
When does this end?
From the finger-wagging replies:
A bold claim. And despite which, the person being scolded, the woman who expects to be taken seriously as a man, can’t bring herself to take seriously as a woman her own male partner. There’s no she or her, just a grudging them. Which does rather cast some doubt on the broader enterprise.
One of those cases where you can genuinely say ‘At least, they are only making themselves unhappy, and not two other people’.
[ Post updated. ]
Gavin Newsom’s California again.
Heshe is “taking a break”… from reality?Readers will note how almost any kind of questioning – even expressions of surprise and concern from an intimate partner – is immediately dismissed as “hurtful,” “transphobic,” and “pretty shitty,” something to apologise for. As if anything short of immediate and gushing affirmation – pretty much any hesitation at all – were an act of wickedness.
Also, this caught my eye:
Which is something of a drawback, given the odds on that matter.
One of the commenters then adds that “drag queen is a look,” by which they mean valid, a possible aspiration, and that one should “interrogate those feelings” that looking like a drag queen is probably not ideal.
[ Post updated again. ]
Never met an actual woman who wanted to look like a drag queen.
It would seem to be a niche ambition.
What?
Somewhat related:
You have your orders, people.
I have known precisely one woman who uses a spatula to put on makeup: she is overweight and not attractive but very much wants to be attractive.
Precisely why I don’t wear makeup. With my lack of skills, I don’t trust myself to do the job properly.
“asylum seeker”
Welcome to the Dew Drop Inn.
[ Radiates natural beauty. ]
Speaking of affirmation…
Right, complete except for “two perfectly healthy fingers”.
Indeed: The left encourages and cultivates it.
[ Hastily checks dosimeter. ]
They should “interrogate” why a man wants to walk around every day looking like Widow Twankey.
It would seem to be a more fruitful line of enquiry. More to work with. I mean, a drag queen is a garish and ludicrous parody of a woman, a grotesque. Which is an odd ambition, a curious thing to aim for, round the clock, as a persona.
But hey, contact with such grotesque and sexualised caricatures – of a woman as some bizarrely made-up hag – is now deemed suitable, even necessary, for groups of small children. As if these spectacles were somehow affirming and representative, and offered said children unassailable role models.
I mentioned earlier how sensitive people are to sexual cues. You can tell almost 100% just from a pic of the hands if a person is male or female. The hands. Or feet. Facial structure another give away along with broad shoulders. No amount of makeup will hide these.
There is a runner from South Africa, black, who has won all sorts of medals. From the first look I knew that this was a man with an abnormality–someone finally pushed the issue and yes, XY with undeveloped testes which means the body develops as female, but only sort-of because no ovaries. No fault of his own of course but it just shows how you can’t fool people.
In other news, Maxine Waters’ daughter knows exactly what mental illness looks like. She knows it from the inside, but I don’t think she knows that.
I love a happy ending.
Edit: I put this up immediately after seeing the clip & before I saw Darleen’s comment. There being no delete option I apologise for the repetition.
So . . . they’re polite about it?
In other news, Maxine Waters’ daughter…shows that as the twig is bent, so grows the tree.
You have to wonder, though, if these bozos actually believe that nonsense, or are just playing to their stupider and more ovine followers.
The link with the referring junk trimmed off if anyone else gets a “page not found”.
Well, that’s amazing. But I honestly don’t know what’s real any more. Is she?
After all, Vox assures me that “Angry Black Woman” is just a trope.
“Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.” — Arnaud Amalric