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Anthropology Free-For-All Problematic Fitness

G-String Blues

December 19, 2023 115 Comments

Attention, unenlightened beings. You must continue doing the work until you are aroused by the fat, neck-bearded woman:

No one likes a fat go-go dancer, honey. pic.twitter.com/tpMUPjwDj1

— Heidi (@HeidiBriones) December 18, 2023

Now shove that twenty bucks in her G-string, goddammit.

Update, via the comments:

John D adds, not unreasonably,

Isn’t it her job to be attractive?

Little Miss Hairy Neck does seem to be offloading the burden of her chosen profession. Sort of, “You should fancy me regardless of how I look or behave. I shouldn’t have to be a pleasing shape or an agreeable person.” Which, it has to be said, is a big ask. But then, the egalitarian redistribution of erotic interest is a recurring theme of woke rumblings.

Mags, meanwhile, is amused by Lady Neckbeard’s claim of being “really honest” while framing the limited interest in her physique as entirely the fault of other, insufficiently effortful people. A bold move.

Given our oversized go-go dancer’s chosen activities, and her expectation that strangers should want to stuff cash into her knickers, I suspect that our hefty temptress is the one who “still has a lot of work to do.” I mean, it’s not unlike complaining that people aren’t rushing to buy your unattractive, poorly-made furniture. “Yes, the chairs do wobble, and the legs will fall off if you shift your weight even slightly, but people should still want them…”

Oh, and as I’m busy with some last-minute redecorating, open thread.

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Written by: David
Anthropology Free-For-All Pronouns Or Else The Thrill of Friction

Adhesive Not Included

December 4, 2023 63 Comments

Or, Wooing And Titillation, The Transgender Way.

It has to be said that, until today, hot prosthetic pics is a series of words I’ve had little cause to use. But we must, I’m told, make an effort to keep up with The Current Thing, and thereby become engorged with sensitivity and whatnot. And so, from the Reddit forum r/ftm – where ladies who wish to be perceived as men seek out the counsel of their peers – I bring you this:

For straight girls dating trans guys, or cis gender people, would you find it attractive if your man sent you a photo of him hard for you, even though you know it’s not physically his? Like, does the thought that he feels that way for you feel normal or does it feel weird? Like, if I were to send this girl I’m friends with, but hooking up with, a picture of me with my prosthetic visible in underwear, in return to her photos, do you think she would like it?

The photos she sends me are definitely nsfw… So I wanna be able to take sexy photos for her too. I just wanted to know if the fact it’s… a prosthetic would be weird to her if she thought about it or whatever.

In the subsequent comments, affirmation ensues:

I’ve sent a video of me using mine solo (obviously with consent from the receiver) and it’s always gone over well.

Eliza Mondegreen adds, “Peak It’s the thought that counts.”

Previously and related, this dysmorphic being – a “Latinx genderfluid personal trainer” and a “trans 2Spirit DEI consultant,” pronouns “they/he/she” – opted for a “seven-inch in a tan colour.” With additional adhesive.

Best used on a clean, dry surface.

For those who wish to know more, there are, of course, online shopping options. Viewer discretion is advised.

Update, via the comments, on being a parent with a pseudo-penis:

I wear a packer, but I only wear it when my children are at school or asleep.

However, the children, we’re assured, “have seen my adult toys.”

Also, open thread. Share ye links and bicker.

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Written by: David
Academia Anthropology Politics

Vacancy Announced

November 26, 2023 43 Comments

Attention, dear readers. I bring you a chance to participate in a cosmic drama, to facilitate utopia. A godless heaven here on Earth. Specifically, do you know of any “artists and visionaries,” or people “good at spreadsheets”? Because there may be a job going, come the revolution:

This comrade who is studying to become a teacher says that a revolution is ready to happen in America. She provides a lengthy to-do list for the revolution. On that list is daycare and historians, “who can help us understand what has happened and what's going to happen.” pic.twitter.com/2uRDlq75we

— Inside The Classroom (@EITC_Official) November 26, 2023

I’m guessing the revolutionary catering is already taken care of.

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Written by: David
Anthropology Food and Drink Politics

Already Broken

November 15, 2023 77 Comments

Margot, seen below, is a “nutrition counsellor.” She is “root-cause and system focussed.” Oh, and she has some questions:

What do we eat during the revolution?

Turns out you can’t smash capitalism and agitate the proletariat without a solid meal plan.

Tiktok commies are doing revolution meal prep, I am dying 💀😂

You cannot make this up. pic.twitter.com/2OYFD6A2NP

— Right Side of History™️ (@xxclusionary) November 15, 2023

“We can fight with our food,” says she.

I wanna discuss and explore with you what, er, how we divest from capitalism while balancing, and, er, while getting adequate nutritional needs. We’re not gonna burn out this time. We’re not gonna let the resistance break us. 

Bridge crossed, methinks.

Update, via Mr Muldoon in the comments:

Apparently, the revolution will be fuelled by cashew milk and vegan pseudo-cheese. Because as capitalism is toppled, and amid the riots and burning cars, there will, it seems, be space for neurotic niche cuisine.

Update 2:

NielsR adds,

Sounds pretty bourgeois to be telling the proles what their nutritional needs are.

I suspect that the fantasy of being in charge and important, of correcting others amid some cosmic drama, is very much the appeal. It’s the standard pattern of the type. And Margot, dear Margot, is very much of a type.

And so, while her comrades “break capitalism” and “abolish” prison, and as violent criminals roam the streets unmolested, Margot will be instructing the little people on how to dry pepper seeds and how to wash foraged bin scraps in vinegar to remove any trace of those nasty pesticides. And I doubt that this fantasy, this contrived, absurd mindset, is amenable to realism or logic, or any kind of correction. It’s probably best considered as a case of bad wiring.

Margot and her peers, these psychologically precarious young women – all of a remarkably narrow social class – are, they tell us, the ones who will be “moving the world forward.” And they’ll bestow this gift, this glorious transformation, by “coaching people in how to eat from a revolutionary and resistance standpoint,” and by making endless TikTok videos about themselves and their cultivated mood disorders.

Assuming, that is, that the proletariat are tempted by the prospect of economic ruin, roaming gangs of muggers and rapists, and evenings spent washing other people’s bin contents.

Somewhat related.

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Written by: David
Anthropology Free-For-All Parenting Politics

She Should “Just Be Able To Have” Things

November 14, 2023 61 Comments

Via Mr Muldoon in the comments, umbrage is detected:

The circle of life can be summed up like this: you’re born, you work, pay taxes and then die.

Following generations repeat the process. This girl gets it. pic.twitter.com/ReKTY65ofy

— Dr. Jebra Faushay (@JebraFaushay) November 12, 2023

As this chap quips in reply,

Like, I get that someone has to work for society to function, but why does it have to be me?

And this one,

A lot of complaints about capitalism are more properly bug reports to God.

Update, via the comments:

Rafi adds,

I like that you tagged this ‘parenting’.

Well, addressing the matter earlier might have spared our unhappy madam a lot of pierced and tattooed grumpiness.

There is, of course, plenty of scope for grumbling about the seemingly endless range of things that can be taxed. And existential angst – or existential pouting – can be difficult to avoid, the human condition being what it is. See the aforementioned “bug reports to God.” But the emotional assumption that Things Should Just Be There For Me, Forever, In Unlimited Quantities™ is, I think, something best addressed before one’s children venture out into the world.

Children who, as adults, may then make TikTok videos of themselves bemoaning the fact that they aren’t simply being given a free house, and free food, and a free car, and free petrol for the free car. Children who, as adults, may then seem genuinely bewildered by the prospect of being responsible for the feeding and clothing of any children that they, in turn, might have.

Another thing occurs to me. If pretty much everything you need, or want, should just somehow be there anyway, on an indefinite basis, via some oddly unarticulated rearrangement of the universe, then it’s not obvious how gratitude might fit into such a mindset.

Also, open thread.

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Written by: David
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In which we marvel at the mental contortions of our self-imagined betters.