When you park the car in Portland. 

Also, open thread.

And in, er, child-molestation-fantasy news:

A professor of Ethics at Oslo Metropolitan University in Norway has called to legalise AI-generated child pornography, claiming that paedophilia should be seen as an innate sexuality that requires destigmatisation. Ole Martin Moen, a gay man who identifies as “queer,” currently serves as a member of the advisory board on Norway’s Patient Organization for Gender-Incongruence (PKI), a social and political lobby group for trans rights. […]

Moen details arguments for and against “adult-child sex” before ultimately coming to the conclusion that “adult-child sex is not categorically very harmful” but may result in “risks” of children being harmed… Moen also argues that paedophiles who do not sexually abuse children should be “praised” for their “admirable willpower,”

Not raping children – so far, that is – but really, really wanting to and thinking about it a lot – is praiseworthy, you see.

Update, via the comments:

If readers will forgive a little paraphrasing:

Frisky Nonce: “I didn’t utterly ruin a small child’s life today. I wanted to, quite a lot, but I didn’t.”

Woke Academic: “Oh well done. Have a sweet. And some more child-abuse pornography.”

We could, I think, paraphrase a little further:

“I didn’t stab any random passers-by in the face today.”

“Oh well done. Here are some pictures of random people being stabbed in the face.”

Farcical as it sounds, the dynamic is not entirely dissimilar.

Update 2:

A situation had arisen. || Can you guess ten seconds? (h/t, Things) || The concept of sideways. || Smooth operator. || Temptation. || Patient dogs. || The joys of public transport, part 4,865. || The progressive retail experience, part 434. || They hunt in packs. || I’ll tell you when to stop. || Ladies, is this true? || Gummi bear lovers, look away now. || The collected kitsch of Siegfried and Roy. || At last, a chocolate giraffe. || The sex robots are coming. || “Distinct transitioning odours.” || Sandwich filling. || Three hours of Norwegian snowfall. || Tight dress, big breasts. || It’s a job. || Social gaffe detected. || If you could dance on the Moon. || And finally, please write down and memorise her fashionable complications.

Meanwhile, in theological news:

He describes drag as a spiritual experience that allows him to connect with God. “Drag allows me to process the mystery of myself, the mystery of God, the mystery of love, and the mystery of pain,” he said. “When I walk the streets in six-inch heels and wear four pounds of hair, double-stacked wigs, the power which lies within my mystery is released into the world.”

When not releasing his mystery into the world, associate pastor Mr Isaac Simmons, aka Ms Penny Cost, performs slam poetry.

Also, open thread.  

Christopher Rufo mingles with the dysmorphics of “Decolonizing Gender”: 

The panellists represented a wide range of idiosyncratic identities, expressed in a mixture of New Age and intersectional language—the more obscure and oppressed, the greater the status within the community. The main presenter, trans activist Malcolm Shanks, said he was a descendant of black slaves and Taíno tribesmen and “used to identify as gender fluid,” but has been “identifying more recently as a little bit more gaseous or plasma-like.”

Needless to say, the educational content is somewhat outlandish, often farcical and stupefying – essentially, a shit test for the neurotic, the credulous and the chronically pretentious. Mr Ganesha Gold Buffalo, for instance, a trans activist and prostitute, tells us that his expertise is rooted in “Waking up at four in the morning, five in the morning, every morning, to sounds of my ancestors screaming from outside my window, coming from the ground, coming from the earth.” His mind, we learn, “was decolonised” in nearby woods by howling “nature spirits.” Mr Buffalo, who identifies as many things, bemoans his “constant struggle under colonialism,” and his need for affirmation as a woman with a penis:

I one-hundred percent want to still be able to look in the mirror and see every part of myself as a woman, see every part of myself as a two-spirit trans woman, a beautiful being: my moustache, all of my facial hair, my untrimmed brows, my fat ass, my belly, my big dick, everything.

Other participants – again, self-styled educators – air equally challenging demands, including a belief that they should be addressed with seemingly random words, depending on whim and state of mind at any given time. “I want you to call me ‘Mommy,’ ‘Queen,’ ‘Daddy,’ if I want you to,” says Randy Ford, a transgender activist for the Lavender Rights Project, and whose pronouns are she, her, and goddess. Other terms of address include cyborg, unicorn, and Wakanda.

Along with the lists of stipulated pronouns and honorifics, and repeated demands for cash “reparations,” and tales of ghostly visitations by long-dead ancestors, the decolonisers of gender also share their extensive scientific knowledge. Specifically, that “There’s no such thing as male genes or female hormones or a male body.” You see, these things, which don’t exist, are merely diabolical constructs of the white devil. Hence the reparations, of course.

Videos of the bedlamites and their teachings can be found here.

The organisations mentioned in the piece all receive taxpayer funding, and all have programmes aimed at children.

Further to recent rumblings in the comments:

“How do I look today?”

“My students passed the vibe check.”

Elementary school teacher when talking about his students tell him he looks pretty and like a queen. pic.twitter.com/X97Hmr4hu7

— Inside The Classroom | Based | (@EITC_Official) June 5, 2022

Because, naturally, it’s all about him.

Oh, and let’s not forget the educational importance of those TikTok leggings.

I’m old enough to remember my teachers dressing professionally. pic.twitter.com/sbTtTMBTH3

— Inside The Classroom | Based | (@EITC_Official) May 11, 2022

Needless to say, one of many.

Update, via the comments, where Joan adds,

“Shirt –‘we are activists’ – is from my school…”

Indeed. Note too that Mr Man-Leggings has apparently been showing the children in his class his TikTok account and inviting them to read the comments, and to disapprove of any commenters who find his behaviour… suboptimal. Because elementary school children are now to be participants in their teachers’ cross-dressing psychodramas.

And on a side note – a fashion tip, if you will – I think it’s generally best that small children can’t easily determine the size and state of their teachers’ genitals. But maybe that’s just me.

Also, open thread.

More than close enough. || The machine uprising, day 3. || A test of manliness. || Meanwhile, in Canada. || Neutralising tremors. || That’s a lot of drag-for-kiddies. || That’s a lot of transgender paedophilia. (h/t, Burnsie) || He does this better than you do. || Songs like X. For finding new music like the music you know. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || One woman’s war on “promiscuous kissing.” || How to make peanut butter glow. || Decent bouncing, better save. || Consolations. || Cross-cultural interaction. || Cross-cultural interaction 2. || Surprisingly casual. || Her gender is “inherently related to teeth.” || Musical interlude. || And finally, following this item, “Attention, children, your role-model adult has arrived.”

At Adelphi University, a curious inclusion:

A private university in New York told students, faculty, and staff to not discriminate against someone based on a history of sexual offences. A poster at the university, obtained by The College Fix, has a list of categories and a statement that “I will not discriminate.” The poster has the university’s name on it. People should “not discriminate” against someone based on sex, race, disability, or religion, according to the poster, nor someone’s “sexual offender status.”

Presumably, students and staff should not regard someone’s status as a registered sex offender as having any conceivable utility or relevance and should never allow this knowledge to influence any decisions they might make about anything. 

An adjacent poster denounces “dating violence,” “lack of consent” and “incapacitated sexual contact.”

Also, open thread.

You know, I don’t recall my middle school’s library being quite this edgy:

A concerned middle school teacher in Loudoun County, Virginia couldn’t let the comments of fellow school employee Stefany Guido slide after reportedly hearing her say some students — the majority of which are 11-13 years old — could be considered “sex workers.” Guido, a librarian at Sterling Middle school, made the statement while defending a library book which said sex work is just like any other job, comparable to a store clerk, an architect, or a journalist. As sex workers, students could benefit from the book’s placement on library shelves, Guido said.

Apparently, eleven-year-olds need to know how to whore themselves – and to know that whoring is, like, totally valid and empowering – because they may be transgender and may have to pay for hormones and surgical mutilations.

Oh shiny tomorrow.

Update, via the comments:

Lest you imagine the above must be an error or some one-off aberration:

Presumably, these other middle-school librarians didn’t find anything inapt about 11-year-olds learning about the glories of prostitution and its general awesomeness. Because “high-end escorts” can “pull in half a million dollars a year.” Though it seems to me that an 11-year-old “sex worker” would be an abused child, a child being trafficked. Not an ideal aspiration for the pre-pubescent. But maybe that’s just me and my uptight stuffiness.

Update 2:

Hardcore cleaning. || All you have to do, they said, is keep very still. || Well, I suppose they’re quite big, yes. || Boat legs. || AntGame. || Gratuitous drama detected. || What are the odds? || “They took what was already there and claimed it as theirs.” || Sprites. || The joys of public transport, parts 4,863 and 4,864. || Add pants, should they be needed. || Sponsor Block, for skipping the ever-lengthening sponsor segments in YouTube videos. || Musical interlude. || The last one. || Discussion point. || Discussion point 2. || Fashion for him, and for her. || Four legs good. || How to fail a drug test. || She’s winning at fatness, so there’s that. || And finally, with some effort, when you really do want your towel back.