The Crosswalk Will Be Mined To Protect It From Dirty Shoes

In somewhat-surreal-modernity news:

Lime, a popular electric scooter and bike rental service, has announced it will be implementing a “no-go zone” around a crosswalk painted with a large Pride flag mural in Spokane, Washington. The crosswalk has become the centre of much discussion after the arrest of multiple teens for making skid marks on the painted pavement…

The release continued: “Officers observed widespread damage as black scuff marks consistent with scooter wheels were observed across the entirety of the mural… Attached to the release were two photos demonstrating the extent of the damage, both of which showed faint black marks on the street painting consistent with thin tire marks. 

Sensitive readers may wish to look away now:

Traumatic scenes of the desecration taking place can be found below:

The situation is of course terribly fraught and further complications have been uncovered by our tireless media professionals:

After allegedly causing “widespread damage” – again, see photo, above – three suspects have been arrested and charged with first-degree malicious mischief, a class-B felony:

This comes after the crosswalk had been set fire to in May. 

Clearly, feelings run high.

Lime’s Director of Government Relations Hayden Harvey told The National Desk that he and everyone at the company “condemn these vile acts in no uncertain terms.”

“At a time when our teams at Lime are beginning pride celebrations around the globe, it is disturbing to see the hate taking place in Spokane,” he added. “We will not let the hateful few spoil the joy of Pride Month in Spokane, and are grateful for those working to make Spokane more welcoming for all.”

Though it occurs to me that the pretentious weeping currently underway could have been avoided by not painting one’s weird religious symbols on the chuffing road at a busy intersection. As if that were a perfectly normal thing to do, and in no way a potential irritant or an invitation to mischief.

And then, inevitably, the sly conflation:

The alleged vandalism, which was claimed by many to be motivated by homophobia, resulted in an outpouring of condemnation from Spokane’s LGBT community and those purporting to be LGBT allies.

At which point, readers may wonder whether the children’s scootering, and the wider disaffection for the increasingly cluttered and kaleidoscopic Pride flag, may have less to do with “homophobia,” as claimed, and rather more to do with a symbol that is now associated with creepy, compelled unrealism, fantasy pronouns, and the steering of children towards experimental drugging and surgical mutilation. The kinds of things that many people, including many gay people, might find a little contentious, or alienating, or morally repugnant.

That the repeatedly ‘enhanced’ Pride flag now represents a range of things to which a great many people, including gay people, might conceivably take exception – or find obnoxious, indeed degenerate – is apparently unthinkable. Or at least unsayable. And so, with the deploying of the word “homophobia,” gay people are being used as a rhetorical shield against objections to, for instance, pornography in schools, the ideological grooming and sexualisation of children, and cross-dressing men in women’s intimate spaces.

Among other things.

However, pretentious howling is very much in fashion, and so,

The scooter rental company at the centre of the alleged “acts of vandalism” has now… implemented a “no-go zone” over the crosswalk, meaning scooters driven over the mural will be remotely shut down. According to the company’s website, entering a “no-go zone” will cause a Lime vehicle to “gradually come to a stop,” forcing a rider to walk their scooter until it is outside the zone. 

I’m guessing the wear and tear caused by normal foot traffic will be monitored closely. Dog walkers will doubtless be urged to avoid the sacred space at all costs, lest the unthinkable occur.

Heavens, three buttons. I wonder what they do.




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