Friday Ephemera (745)
Today’s word is proximity. || How to make the day exciting. || The wallet wins, I think. || House fire, interior view. || The thrill of saving up for one. || And every submarine should have one. || “Did you hear the music playing?” || Mushroom colour atlas. || Screw the kids, she gets to feel smug. || Question asked, promptly answered. || You want one and you know it. || “And they do bras as well.” || When everything is a latrine. (h/t, pst314) || Eternal TV, for niche streaming enthusiasts. (h/t, Things) || Misleading meme. || Answers on a postcard, please. || With four mallets. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Made of hemp and horse excrement. || How to deflate a cow. || For scale. || A UFO timeline. || For the fuller figure. || And finally, with effort, a journey to remember: “Do you need to take your pants down?”
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|| You want one and you know it. ||
Why yes, yes I do.
Although the size put me in mind of Daleks rather than military equipment, so I’d probably change the paint job, add a couple extremities, pop a steel colander on my head and go around shouting EX-TER-MIN-ATE! were I to acquire one.
The fish. I wanted to see what the fish did.
That looks like a training video to me. IIRC, actual house fires produce so much smoke that there’s almost zero visibility. The flames looked clean, like gas jets that they use in the movies.
It’s a two-part invention, so two for each part. Good luck with the 3- and 4-parters.
That seems like a really odd place to punch a hole. On Dr. Pol’s show, it’s usually in the belly.
As for that last one, they’re just going to have to buy a new seat, aren’t they? That’s not going to just wash out.
And every submarine should have one.
Piano, big deal, they all should have saunas, swimming pools, aquariums, and aviaries.
What? You don’t favour the teapot?
Only if the cannon works.
How to deflate a cow.
Assume a spherical cow
The Guardian?
They’re going to discover they didn’t save nearly enough in construction costs with that wall mount.
Bad for this blog’s content propositions; good for humanity.
Autopsy.
More post-election meltdown.
Video of the incident.
Do you suspect what I suspect?
“…is a latrine.“
‘The diverse area of Stratford’. That’s quite the euphemism!
Why does she look upwards? Does she think bears fly?
Morning, all.
Given my understanding of womanly secretions, I suspect the car’s a write-off.
Heh. Icing on the cake, no?
[ Slurps coffee. ]
We’ll always remember her.
Me: “At least things can’t get any worse”
Things: https://x.com/nftbadger/status/1857050020547039578
It does sit quite well with the Question asked, promptly answered link, in which Kittenfish (“far left,” pronouns she/her) asks, seemingly in earnest, in what ways wokeness is “actually” bad.
Heh. I did not see that coming.
Neither did she.
[ Checks supply of rock salt for prophesied snowfall. ]
[ Slurps coffee, considers toasted muffin. ]
That put me in a good mood. Thank you.
It’s not all doom and gloom here, you know.
“We can pick a game?”
[ Waits for Aitch to find last item in this week’s batch. ]
Ha ha. Thank you.
Reminder of note:
Note the indignant replies, claiming, bizarrely, that “all dissenting opinion is suppressed,” and that the original poster must be some incorrigible kitten-tormenting right-winger, despite him actually being a Democrat who voted for Harris.
Has a certain… symbolic quality.
And a calm husband. Well done all round.
Yes, rather gratifying. Messy and disgusting, too. But mostly gratifying.
“I don’t know if I can do it.”
And yet.
I should add, I’m not expecting the content of Scientific American to improve significantly, despite Ms Helmuth’s belated departure. I mean, once a cultural institution has been corrupted and degraded by wokeness – skin-suited, as they say – does it ever fully recover? Offhand, can’t think of an example.
“Do you need to take your pants down?”
Do you think perhaps you need to STOP THE BLOODY CAR? Then dial 911 and assist your wife?
When he started fiddling with her seatbelt and pants while still driving . . .
But glad everything worked itself out. Literally.
Meh, the whipped cream hides it.
Probably best not to do it while you’re driving.
Wait, what?
Maybe she’s a tourist from Australia.
Relatively. And it’s still excrement.
What’s with all these “progressive thinkers” and excrement?
Caution: No smoking.
How to make the day exciting.
This would be much more satisfying if he had been thrown through the windshield and run over by his own RV.
Not sorry. Stupid fucks like this are absolute menaces on the road.
“Things you won’t catch me doing in pre-op; washing my hands.
And I’m a surgeon.”
What does she think she’s supposed to be doing?
Crime of note.
Well, quite. And it takes a certain hubris to boast on social media – where parents of the children in question can see – that you don’t do basic aspects of your publicly funded job. Presumably, because doing those basic things might reveal something untoward about the distribution of cognitive wherewithal.
At which point, one might repeat Ms Kittenfish’s blissfully oblivious question:
Not blissful for others, I grant you.
“The abstruse theological reasoning is comprehensible only to insiders and nomenklatura.”
That’s the worst snow-shovelling I’ve ever seen.
The Day The Earth Stood Still.
“You must say these words: Klaatu barada nikto.”
“…Marxists’ real aim was a ‘pedantocracy’…a regime in which…a political intelligentsia, unemployable in normal circumstances, took positions of power…a large overproduction of people educated to be lawyers and administrators.”
Closely related: “truth is a distraction”
Never mind the criminal: What punishments should the DA’s and judges face?
Nommy nom nom. Except for the excess frosting.
This reminded me of an old Bloom County strip in which Binkley announced his crush on a new girl in class.
Sweet (and good parenting) but couldn’t they have stopped at a bank first instead of counting out coins in the store?
Yes, I suppose that could’ve been made a part of the lesson, too. It would have spared the cashier and any other customers standing in line.
But hey, I’m still in shock from all that deferred gratification.
My YouTube recommendations are now peppered with videos of massively flatulent farm animals.
I blame myself.
And in news that is unlikely to shock.
I wouldn’t have shut off the power.
Band name.
TDS is very common among the liberal women I know.
Lobotomy?
Many, quoting Occupy Democrats, still insist Trump did not win the popular vote.
And then there are the endless Handmaid’s Tale memes.
“Klaatu barada nikto” ≈ “By clicking Accept you agree to our Terms and Conditions.”
Autopsy
Much the same happened to New Scientist in England
..
What I wouldn’t give for a Time Machine so I could go back about 20 years and rub those posts in some people’s faces. Bah. How petty that would be, eh?
Re Crime of note:
Google says it’s a nine hour drive. Then there’s the unpredictability of I-75 traffic…
[ Toys with idea of introducing a lap-dancing night. ]
[ Rummages under bar for rolodex, looks up number for Darius and Bruno. ]
Man, that’s cold.
I was kinda hoping more for Cheyanne and Lexi…
And we’d never shift the smell of the baby oil.
[ Puts rolodex away, ups price of drinks instead. ]
Black liberal police sergeant melts down over Trump, threatens retired officers.
Meh, the whipped cream hides it.
The smaller Czech Stop across the road has better kolaches and a better pastries selection, imho, although Slovacek West has an awesome Christmas Village with an insane amount of holiday tchotchkes for sale. Never noticed any fingers, though, in either place’s kolaches…
Interesting note: West, Texas is not in west Texas at all (more like south-central).
Again, best not to while driving.
Or, dramatic mood-swing anticipated.
Attention, ladies.
“I am a fully complete woman.”
That’s going to be one hell of a comedown.
Would work better for very petite Japanese girls. (Whatever those cartoon movies of girls in tanks are called.)
I learned something today.
It’s to fool the Yankees.
I blame the people who think “don’t judge a book by its cover” is some sort of impeccable wisdom.
It is, if not impeccable, sensible.
Just not when applied to people.
“Explaining farming to Labour is like explaining calculus to a hen.”
My counter-demand: Every leftist in the UK will be banned for life from eating meat, using automobiles, and flying, and will be required to share a tiny flat with twelve immigrant thugs and terrorists.
“their fans were mostly stoned out of their minds”
Remember this malevolent racist?
Meh, the whipped cream hides it.
Is that the finger pie the Beatles sing about in Penny Lane? I didn’t realize it was literally finger pie.
Once again, New York condo board fails to agree on a new president.
This chap.
My YouTube recommendations are now peppered with videos of massively flatulent farm animals.
That was my first thought when I clicked on the cow deflation link – between the farting horse and this, your recommendations are permanently skewed.
Why so many Western countries are actively working to become Third-World shøtholes is a puzzle.
There’s an extensive genre on the subject.
“It’s not about politics, it’s about morals.”
I run into that a lot from liberal women: They define morality in terms of adherence to leftist dogma. All deviation is proof of evil. Facts and reasoning are rejected.
Libs of Tik Tok has been joined by Libs of Bluesky.
it’s about morals.”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
At least the tricoteurs could, you know, knit.
Related: university departments, such as sociology and social work, which only allow leftists to pursue degrees–because only leftists care about people.
Leftists care about people like gluttons care about lunch.
Because I had wrongthink, someone(s) created a wiki page on me. Part true, part insulting and lies. Maybe someone honorable did the true part and others edited it. My boss found it and told me. I could not delete it, could only delete the lies part (good enough). WTF
because only leftists care about people.
Again, they have some interesting ideas about what qualifies as “people.” It’s also why their favourite tactic in any interaction is to dehumanize any one they disagree with.
And what qualifies as “caring”–both in policies and in personal conduct.
“Explaining farming to Labour is like explaining calculus to a hen.”
This is an excellent example of how the left manifests “caring”:
Also: interesting analysis from an unlikely source.
Wu has been tacking right for a bit, but I’m wary. He has been trying to position himself as one of the “reasonable” transwomen by opposing males in women’s sports and spaces and child transitions, yet he entertains paranoid fantasies about being hunted down and insists that without hormones he’d be forced to kill himself.