Friday Ephemera (723)
She would make love to them, selflessly. || Solemn oath, precious memories. || Cower in FEAR – the LASER is here, 1962. || Incoming. || She makes it work. || Incriminating stains. || Suspense. || Secret revealed. || Dating in Sardinia, 1964. || Blushing bride not blushing enough. || Some clenching of the buttocks. || Hey, it’s better than your cheap-ass robot horse. || Heroic rescue attempted. || Tidy is good. Alternatively. || “Yeet the mammary meat,” they cheered. || It’s his lemon dress. || Locals displeased by nude cyclists, altercation ensues. || Terry’s Chocolate Apple. || The thrill of pigeons. || The progressive retail experience, parts 551, 552, and 553. || “I’m parking right now.” || Parenting test, level 10. || Guatemalan action figure. || Retro-futurism. || And finally, no, after you.
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My God, I think we’ve found the voice that Monty Python satirized in so many MPFS sketches. 😮
Solemn oath, precious memories.
Holy carp – was that the minister/officiant barfing??
Phrasing, dude.
“A one woman show featuring fewer than one woman”
“Yeet the mammary meat,” they cheered.
I hope the fat chick with the bad haircut holding the cake isn’t the post-op “guy” being celebrated. I’d say she needs to get her money back, but I’m guessing the double mastectomy was performed, which is what she paid for. She was sold manhood I’m guessing, but that’s not what she got. Sad.
Will this be the trigger for the next Anglo-American war?
How did we get to this? A dearth of smiting.
Extremely insufficient smiting.
I vividly remember the voice, but not the specific sketches.
How AI will actually work
[ Finishes skimming the Friday Ephemera. ]
[ Returns 2 bottles to the cellar. ]
The camel has a lot of fun
His night’s complete when he is done
For he always has two humps for one
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
Sasquatch is trans?
When you flout the rules don’t be surprised when others do.
I insist.
Doritos gloryhole.
The Precious Moments guy died this week. I just thought I’d mention that.
Makes perfectly good sense to me.
What IS that accent?
Still laughing.
“Hey, it’s better than your cheap-ass robot horse. “
Wonder if it’s been programmed to bite tourists like a Horse Guard’s mount?
Morning, all.
Somehow, inexcusably, I hadn’t seen that one.
Mr Whicker’s accent was a thing of wonder even at the time. I think he was born in Cairo, yet he sounds almost… Australian?
Indeed. And not wishing your children to be exposed, in the street, to the genitals of weird men is not an entirely outrageous position.
But as we’ve seen, nudism activists will generally find some way to invoke victimhood while imposing themselves on others, including, deliberately, small children.
Heroic rescue attempted.
All this new fangled shit on cars can go to hell.
Locals displeased by nude cyclists, altercation ensues.
Good locals.
[ Passes harrumphing hat, Tesla brochure. ]
Ah, but hiding things from parents is very much in fashion among educators. Even to the extent of inventing and distributing a fake curriculum, so as to deter any parental curiosity about the actual curriculum.
And all while insisting, “This is not being deceitful.”
This is who they are. Our glorious betters.
https://thompsonblog.co.uk/2024/05/friday-ephemera-723.html#comment-172454
The sexual habits of the camel,
Are stranger than anyone thinks,
And in moonlit nights in the desert,
He tries to bugger the Sphinx,
But the Sphinx’s anal sphincter,
Is clogged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel,
And the Sphinx’s inscrutable smile
One more time.
Moar banter twix JKR and a parody account.
Oh God, it’s even worse with sound on. But I love how the bride just powers on through. Nothing’s stopping her wedding!
It’s quite… evocative. Vividly so. And loud.
Yes, she’s a hardcore bride. She clearly means business.
And I think every wedding should have at least one mortifying moment. I mean, it’s practically a tradition.
A while ago, we attended a niece’s wedding, an upscale production-number held in a fancy country house, complete with serving staff and a string quartet, and with a very nervous bride-to-be. Much drama about dresses, hair, seating, and a million other things. Seconds before the vows, the hushed proceedings were enlivened by my somewhat deaf father-in-law’s very loud and scandalously inappropriate ringtone.
The temporary embarrassment, while no doubt acute, later resulted in much laughter and bonding with the new members of the tribe.
@dicentra
Re your comment in previous thread, I’ve updated the post.
I want to see the Midjourney prompt that generated that.
Emotional rollercoaster.
*wince*
it’s the woman below in teal with the teal backpack that was really giving me angst.
Maybe she’s realising that once she gets to the top, at that point quite tired and perhaps with shaky legs, she’ll then have to climb back down again. Which, if anything, seems riskier.
“If you put a pigeon on a treadmill…”
David, thank you for putting a name on that voice. And thus allowing me to track him down and find the Monty Python sketch that satirized his style.
Yes, born in Cairo.
Whicker’s World ran for almost 25 years, so I can see how he could have made such a cultural impression.
I recall the series vaguely but quite fondly. I’m guessing he was the prototype of the feigned ingénue persona, at least while interviewing the various eccentrics he encountered on his travels.
Yes, I pray she did turn back. And that as well, but that backpack which will put her center of gravity further from the wall which is most disconcerting. It looks like she spins it around to her front side before turning back, but the video ends there.
I laughed at this way more than I should have:
https://x.com/youwouldknow/status/1796450371340230664
Helen would like to say hi.
Helen would like to say hi
That genuinely looks like Les Dawson in drag.
For those too shy to click the link.
No, don’t thank me. All part of the service.
That’s an argument for supplying children with slingshots and ball bearings.
The fine dining experience.
Trailer hitches are new fangled?
More joys of public transport.
But remember, you should want to live “closer to all kinds of different people.”
That’ll scare off a thousand ships.
Looks great, Steve! Now, I need you to swap the cables for ports 4/8 and 16/12.
Boo to the traitorous woman and her misplaced compassion.
Scuttle, even.
Good news from the Antipodes, at long last the nightmare is over as Victoria has finally appointed a Secretary of Men’s Behavior Change!
You’d never tire of this.
The poster writes “This menace should be in jail.” Perhaps “in the ground” would be better: Zero chance he will become a civilized human being. Zero. And how many will he terrorize and harm before he goes to his just reward? But even more to be viewed as enemies of civilization are the “liberals” who excuse and defend such savages.
Menstrual LARPing.
Somewhat related.
And a little more cycling news.
Cold comfort.
Heroic rescue attempted
Ow. Ow. Ow. Shin meets trailer hitch. I have been there, brother.
Holy crow, does that hurt. Hell, it hurts just to watch it!
Cheers, thanks!
That’s not obscene in the conventional sense. That’s a microagression.
Ba-dum-tssshhh.
And a little more cycling news.
“Little” is the operative word here, isn’t it?
That might explain the hood.
“Little” is the operative word here, isn’t it?
I’ve never seen a belly button so low before and it appears to be an outie.
Heh. In our continuing “new car buying experience”, we purchased the $99.95 for three years full Starlink experience. So we can start the car, unlock, open the windows, turn on the heated seats etc. from our phones. We’re not the type to buy the extra stuff but for $99 bucks for three years, wth right? Was working fine for four, five days. Then on Tuesday when I tried to access it from my phone, it stopped working. It said we needed to purchase a subscription. OK….anyway, not to bore you with the details but after several phone calls with Subaru, the dealership, Starlink (which is where we believe to problem lies because we have a f****g receipt email with a purchase invoice number), we now have a Starlink customer advocate who says we should have an answer in two business days. So..like…Monday now. The car itself, so far, aside from the Start/Stop thing that is on all cars that we must turn off every time we get in the car, is great. C’est la 21st century vie.
So that’s how you wear it…
The car itself, so far, aside from the Start/Stop thing that is on all cars that we must turn off every time we get in the car, is great.
…and no sapphic urges?
Heroic rescue attempted.
That’s why, where I live, you are supposed to remove the ball & bar when not actually towing.
I want to know more about this harrumphing hat.
Stephen Fry being hypocritical again.
I don’t see enough of Stephen Fry to have a crystal-clear and detailed impression, but he does seem to be remarkably pompous and hypocritical.
Just how many years (decades?) ago did he join those clubs that he now denounces?
Trans Abortion Doula
Band name and eponymous first album.
[ Dons hat. ]
Every fancy new tech feature is an opportunity for something to go wrong, and go wrong in mysterious ways which are expensive or impossible to fix. Especially since so many companies don’t want to be bothered with quality customer support.
Illegal stoneworking.
“The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today all the exhilaration of a vice.”
David could put a new G. K. Chesterton quote at the top of each post and never run out of material relevant to the topics at hand.
[ Slices strawberries. ]
[ Adds raspberries and blackberries. ]
[ Pours on generous measure of double cream. ]
[ Adds dollop of cherry gelato. ]
That should do it.
And a ten mile walk to work off those delicious calories?
Maybe you really shouldn’t eat that. Here, let me help you by eating it for you.
I AM FULL OF FRUITY GOODNESS.
In my day, the term for that was “ghoul.”
I’m an American and, no, absolutely no, those are not the same thing. I’ll be a Tory traitor on this, I guess, because comparing the two is like comparing a watermelon Jolly Rancher candy to an an actual watermelon and thinking “basically the same thing!” Corndogs barely qualify as food. I’ve eaten them, but never without feeling shame!
It’s his lemon dress.
“In the grand scheme of things, it might seem like a small victory…”
…or, just spitballing here, “a huge defeat for sanity and civilization.”
Secretary for Men’s Behaviour
Another Jacinta to the fore as an Antipodean female politician.
Since late last year, the Victorian government has been headed by a hard-left premier, Jacinta Allan.
As a lesson to the others.
I nominate myself for Secretary of Leftists’ Behaviour Change.
Three Pin Lewis. Professional bowler nickname. Granted, a pretty crappy professional bowler.
I’ve had two in my life. Absolutely vile.
[ Vows to never again disparage baked beans on toast. ]
You felt shame at the circus? That’s noteworthy…Have you tried the peanuts?
So while in the neighborhood…I know no one asked and no one wants to know, but like that Mr. Gifford on the previous thread, I really think more people should know this. Unlike Mr. Gifford’s ‘knowledge’ there’s bound to be at least one person here who might find this useful at some point. I will try to keep it clinical…
If you must have a colonoscopy, you really do not need the sedation**. Yes it’s uncomfortable but really, if you cannot handle that little bit of discomfort, well…more shame. It’s like having real bad gas but for just a few seconds or minutes. Perhaps it was easier for me because I’m a big guy (6’4″) but unless you’re a very small person I doubt it would be an issue. Even then. The whole procedure, the entry-to-exit part (hey I’m trying) only takes 20-30 minutes, if that. The most rudimentary dental work is much much worse. Having a baby must be at least 1000 times worse. If not, then the ladies have been lying to us for millennias.
** The extra special bonus fun part is watching the anesthesiologist walk away with defeated body posture and shaking his head. Yeah, suck it up Charlie.
My first colonoscopy, years ago, was without sedation. Or maybe very limited sedation, as I recall some some weird sensations but no serious discomfort. Every one since then was with full sedation: The doctors seemed to assume that it was necessary and I didn’t question that.
Face off
https://x.com/cutest_animal1/status/1584442718742188032
I recall some some weird sensations but no serious discomfort
The only weird sensation and discomfort I felt was when I noticed a hand on each of my shoulders.
[ ba dum tss ]
I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your Henchlesbian.
[ Muffled chuckling. ]
[ Fetches darts, blowpipe. ]
Modern anesthesiology takes all the fun out of surgery: In my day we used laudanum which left the patient very happy even if he was likely to die later of sepsis.
And alcohol is not to be sneezed at either. All hail the Blessed Aubrey, bringer of joy to sloths!
[ Falls back into a doze. ]
“He dindu nuffin!” say family members. Police bodycam disagrees.
[ Fetches darts, blowpipe. ]
I’ve read that the Shorts’ Blowpipe was ineffective engaging a crossing target or one quickly moving away.
[ Begins evasive manoeuvres ]
And a little more cycling news.
A little warning please!! Although I can see where you might have missed the NSFW notice. Was that guy neutered? Or have his man-parts just crawled up inside him and died of embarrassment for his being the jackass that he is?
At the fair. It’s not so much the location as the realization that I’m metaphorically defiling the temple which is my body. Sure, we’ve all done it, from drinking too much to indulging in too much junk food, but it’s only self-aware to regret it a bit — that kind of shame.
And corndogs aren’t even very good. The peanuts, however, are excellent. Except for that weird-looking rotten one that they’re required by law to include in every bag.