Friday Ephemera (718)
Burly chap. || Rumble in the urban jungle. || “Somebody is probably in there.” (h/t, Tim) || Suboptimal scenario. || Galvanic baths. || A decolonising dance with bonus string. || Our betters ponder their ancestors. || Nommy-nommy-nom. || Not everyone felt affirmed. || Trout restocking. || He’s a teacher, you know. || It’s a look, I guess. || I laughed and I’m not sorry. || Hot pants interloper. || Perhaps he’d heard it was all the rage. || Parenting the progressive way. || Mugshots of paint huffers. || It’s an excerpt from a longer piece. || “Natalie Perry’s job is to teach med students to ‘do what’s right.'” (h/t, pst314) || Heh. || Something in the ceiling. || The sound of shedding. || Seeks attention, gets it, then complains about the attention in an attention-seeking way. || And finally, unforeseen circumstances.
Update, via the comments:
How to walk like a ladyperson. YouTube version here.
As sk60 added,
Should any readers be intrigued and wish to book a coaching day to develop those essential ladyperson skills – with shoes, shopping, and wigs – details can be found here. You can, for instance, master the Duchess Slant.
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That was a bad time for him to drop his bee smoker.
“You know, you can’t even keep the streets safe at night. The Scottish government can’t build two bog standard ferries. This Parliament can’t build a single high speed line. So stay out of news. You’re just trouble. Don’t want any help. Just don’t want you to interfere.”
Lock him up! And his emotional support lizard too!
What are the motives behind BLM? Nothing good.
“California is literally a GTA server.”
Wait, that’s a novelty? Don’t all the states with remote areas do it?
No one will ever hurt him again. He’s made sure of it.
Australia, of course. Only in Australia.
“Suboptimal scenario.”
Nicholas Cage voice: “Not the bees!”
Morning, all.
She even provides refreshment and snacks.
Oh, and happy birthday to Stephanie. Everybody comment on how young she looks.
How to walk like a ladyperson.
YouTube version here.
Please tell me this is a piss-take…
It’s perhaps significant that it’s a little unclear. A sign of our glorious times.
Should any readers be intrigued and wish to book a coaching day to develop those essential ladyperson skills – with shoes, shopping, and wigs – details can be found here.
You can, for instance, master the Duchess Slant.
Hey, I’m just sayin’.
How to walk like a ladyperson?
As Hazel notes in another tweet, it’s customary for ladies to not have an obvious package.
In other news, I just watched this interview between Joshua Slocum and Benjamin Boyce.
Joshua has exceptional moral clarity on a variety of subjects because he used to be on the Left but about 8-9 years ago began to see the light. He’s also articulate and vulnerable and hella deep in his contemplations.
Highly recommended. All of it.
Yes, it does rather undo any illusions one might have had. From a distance. In fog.
Actually, obvious package would be a pretty good band name.
Just thought I’d get that one out of the way.
Not the boobs I was hoping for, tbh.
Faith in humanity (almost) restored.
You can’t parody these people. They’re already there.
Or hire him.
Will this be on the test?
Extra string in abundance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHX5_oQC3us&t=223s
Oh yes. And then some.
[ Fetches red pen, spirit level. ]
Antipodal advertisement of note. (Caution)
1) Note the guy can only cross his legs with great difficulty because of the difference in pelvic anatomy. I guess pelvic reconstruction is next on the list of “affirming” surgery, or stick to the Cambridge Cross.
2) Unless raised by hyenas, or recovering from a massive stroke, if you have to be taught how to be a woman, odds are you never will be.
You seem to know an awful lot about this. Just sayin’.
I, on the other hand, treasure my ignorance…which fails to explain why I am here.
They never are. 😐
[ Acts casual, says nothing. ]
The videos you (ahem) post are often learning, nay, enlightening, experiences, and I did do very well in gross anatomy.
This walking like a lady thing is all very well, but imagine having to take a treadmill with you whenever you go out.
(Preemptively sets fire to coat).
[ Waits for someone to say band name. ]
Somebody is probably in there.
That was beautiful.
Oh, there she is, birthday girl.
Tuck in.
It’s a look, I guess.
Hope he doesn’t need an emergency MRI.
Oh, and happy birthday to Stephanie. Everybody comment on how young she looks.
Ha! And thank you. Sixty-three today. And still no fucks to give.
Imagine the shrapnel!
[ Fetches stick, pushes cake closer to Stephanie. ]
Tuck in.
I’d hit that.
Affirming mascara moustache.
If she isn’t dead ringer for Clark Gable now, no one is. You can almost hear all the panties dropping.
Call the philosophy department.
No hormones required. Non-conformity achieved. No harm done. Completely reversible when the impulse fades. 5/5, would recommend.
Imagine if GIDS had been prescribing mascara for the last decade. There would be an entire cohort of healthy lesbians with advanced makeup skills out there. Something I think we would all have appreciated.
At first I thought it was a new one from Boston Dynamics.
[ Laughter, choking. ]
Another one of the Ivy Leagues Best And Brightest, “Non-binary” Division.
I paraphrase only slightly, but I am guessing they don’t teach logic at Columbia anymore, and why is he/she/they going to a school named after Columbus, one of the ring leaders in the pantheon of yte devils ?
Boston Dynamics, but somehow less feminine.
[ Post updated. ]
‘Interpretive dance’ always puts me in mind of this.
Necrosis does have a rather distinct, pungent, odour.
When what you’re teaching is largely false does ‘teacher’ really fit?
Accidental Renaissance scenes from that dashcam:
The more macho states use the salmon cannon.
The decline in birth rates in progressive areas isn’t rapid enough.
30 seconds I’ll never get back.
Not with those calves.
The throat mallet could be quite handy.
One of those odours that, once encountered, few would chose to encounter again. I’m guessing some part of the brain recognises it as A Very Bad Smell. It’s not just unpleasant, it has rather visceral, instinctive connotations.
It probably doesn’t speak well of me but I kind of hope he does.
I shouldn’t be surprised but at the 10 second mark I was grossed out by the filthy mascara tube and dirty fingernails. Ewwww!
Seeks attention, gets it, then complains about the attention in an attention-seeking way.
Reminds me of a line in Succession when Tom says someone should be colored red, like a dangerous lizard. That lady made sure that everyone could tell at a glance how angry she is. In her own way, a surprisingly sociable thing to do.
“You sound so dumb,” screeches the woman who went out of her way to make herself permanently and ostentatiously unattractive, and an object of suspicion, and much less likely to be employed.
I mean, if you’re going to pointedly send signals, all the time, every day, there’s a good chance they’ll be received – and responded to accordingly.
See also.
“He has learned to regulate his emotions and will not recidivate” said his lawyer.
Yeah, right.
Reminds me of the old joke about a man during a flood … his neighbors stop and offer him a ride away and he says “No thank you. God will save me”.
The waters rise and he’s on the 2nd floor of his home when boaters show up to offer to rescue him. He declines the ride “No thank you. God will save me”.
Waters rise more, now he’s on the roof when a helicopter comes by and, yes, he waves them off “No thank you. God will save me”.
He is swept away and dies. He finds himself in heaven and before God but he’s not happy. “Lord! I believed in you and yet you didn’t save me!”
God sighs, “I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you expect?”
Wait, what? Just posted a comment … it was there, now it isn’t. Would someone please make an offering to the spam filter?
[ Hurries down long corridor, runs down three flights of stairs, enters passcode, opens 12-inch-thick steel door, pushes button. ]
She’s being a bit twitchy today, the old girl.
The spam filter, I mean.
Med school: I think part of that UCLA thing was a screed against fatphobia. So docs should celebrate obesity, not warn about the diabetes etc. Talk about capturing the institutions. Don’t go to any new med grads.
Walking like a ladyperson: the walk of actual women is not a contrivance but is dictated by their wider hips and the way it all fits together. Imitating that walk ALWAYS looks fake.
Rumble: Interesting that we can tell they are men from what, 200 feet? 300?
I think part of that UCLA thing was a screed against fatphobia.
Indeed there was.
Violence, mind you, but mainly on POCs and the Alphabet Mob™ because, of course.
Mercedes has a podcast that…”realizes the multi-faced, intersectional span of lived fat experiences.”
Going from one side of the ice-cream aisle to the other.
The only thing that keeps ‘fat liberationists’ from being more tiresome than they are is their limited mobility.
“Criminals understand that they are at war with society. But many of those whose jobs it is to protect society do not want to treat criminals like mortal enemies. Too many judges and members of parole boards devote their authority to massaging their own egos instead of protecting society.”
–Thomas Sowell, Barbarians Inside the Gates and Other Controversial Essays
Five bucks to anyone who can diagram this sentence for me:
‘used to exact violence on fat people’
Just curious, what is the new word for actual violence?
The campaign against counter-disinformation work
Any time you see the word “work,” it’s a tip off. I know, I’ve done the work.
That sort of always-aggressive attitude, she’s likely had some sort of reason to fear strangers. Something bad happened to her or she has witnessed/”learned” from seeing something bad happen to someone close to her thus that it makes sense to her to keep strange people on their back foot. She’s obviously not very bright but if IQ is as genetic as some believe, that part is not her fault. Of course I could be wrong here but there was something about that that I have seen before back in the day. Or it’s just an attention grabbing fake/parody. Like the you-should -poop-in-my-yard girl.
Speech.
Work…
My father once made a nuisance of himself on a U.S. FedGov commission regarding aviation safety and procedures, by insisting that witnesses who referred to things like “workload” be specific about the forces and distances involved. I. e. The actual.physics.
But the accomplishment he was most proud of was keeping the final report to only 30 pages.
At what point does it become legal to shoot this garbanzo?
Going by the accent, never.
That video is 2 years old, and the guy committed suicide shortly after that altercation.
So if your impression of him was that he was a psycho, you were entirely right.
And from Germany, a tale of how a hospital expansion was abandoned because a bird landed on a roof.
His tweets on energy policy are also worth a peek.
In much the same way that many artists and curators will deploy the term, pointedly, despite there being little evidence of effort or hard-won achievement.
And by despite, I mean because of.
My Brusters List – that is, a list of people who, should they assume room temperature while I am alive, will have their death celebrated by me with a trip to Brusters, a chain of ice cream stores selling wonderful flavors (I like Graham Central Station and their Blueberry Cobbler is divine) – just grew by one.
I would have gladly taken in Cricket.
It’s annoying and frustrating, that so many people post stuff without links, sources, or contextual information. Not even who they “stole” it from.
I suspect that the drugs drove him insane. Testosterone, meth…
It’s like a nightmarish Monty Python sketch.
Protected species?
Be sure to check out the merit badges, though I guess “merit badge” is problematic unless everyone gets one regardless of skill or effort.
She’s not stealing, she’s “blessed”.
Please update your dictionaries accordingly.
One more time. I miss the concept of shame.
I also miss the concept of pest control.
And the pillory.
Again, as noted recently, selfishness and morony.
However, while madam sounds quite thick, she isn’t unaware of what she’s doing. Note how, when the interviewer states plainly what it is that she’s doing, or asks if she would feel equally entitled to violate his home and steal his belongings, she immediately fudges, is evasive, and changes the subject.
She knows, and does it anyway.
I suspect she may even know what should happen to her as a result.
One can make an argument that the pillory should be not just for the criminals but also for the the liberals who excuse criminality and protect criminals.
She has no job, she has put “a lot of money into this house”, and she, an otherwise healthy appearing woman who appears to be a decade or more from her 60’s, receives social security. Uh huh. WTF have we been supporting these people all these years? “Disability” used to include drug and alcohol addiction as well. Probably still does based on what my wife used to see when working at a bank.
I’m more of a fan of Caleb Luna: “(they/them) is a fat queer (of color) critical theorist, performer, poet, essayist, cultural critic, and performance scholar. As a Ph.D. candidate in Performance Studies at UC Berkeley, their research focuses on performances of eating, and historicizing cultural representations of fat embodiment within the ongoing settler colonization of Turtle Island.”
Aussie.
Points for posturing.
Mr Luna and his romantic woes have cropped up here before.