Insufficiently Swiped
Meanwhile, in the chronically fretful, joy-sapping world of Everyday Feminism, where absolutely everything is politicised, and where politicised invariably means oppressive, Caleb Luna ponders the gay hook-up app Grindr, and why he – sorry, they – attracts so little interest:
As a fat person, I have rarely received any messages on Grindr, and people frequently don’t respond to my messages.
Conceivably, some users may be familiar with Mr Luna’s written output and its wearying effect. I’m guessing that declaring oneself a they, and a writer for Everyday Feminism, isn’t widely regarded as a potent aphrodisiac.
The only times I’ve been approached on Grindr have been by people who come to the app knowing they’re attracted to my body type. This gives me reason to believe that the same is true for other Grindr users. Most Grindr users have a predetermined body type they are attracted to – a thin one.
In much the same way that pornography featuring fat ‘non-binary’ models remains a niche interest. A shocking revelation. Less shocking, however, is that the option of weight loss isn’t explored, at all. Instead, it seems, we should all “interrogate” and “expand” our desires via immersion in intersectional dogma:
You can start by diversifying the range of bodies you allow into your pool of sexual possibilities.
Thus empowered, we will overcome our “phobias,” which is to say our preferences, and consequently start lusting after “alternative bodies.” Specifically, bodies like Mr Luna’s. However, in the meantime, things are looking grim:
So, while Grindr is discussed as a place where anyone who might be considered a man can find men to have sex with, who are (mostly) looking to have sex with men, this isn’t how my experience has played out.
It’s a sad tale, yes, and about to get sadder.
And while there is certainly nothing stopping me from staying on Grindr, when I get no conversation or dates, it ultimately only takes up space on my phone.
You’ll find tissues at the bar.
That space is better used for pictures of people who actually do love and want me,
Wait for it.
like selfies.
There’s more, of course, on the “privilege” (by which Mr Luna means outrageous unfairness) of some people having more conventionally alluring anatomy and some mastery of their weight, and the conceit that more men ought to be passionately attracted, and would be if only they were schooled in intersectional victimhood politics. But I think for now we’ll just leave it there. And get on with our lives.
When not being unhappy and resentful in the pages of Everyday Feminism, the being named Caleb Luna is “a first-year PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, and their work explores the intersections of fatness, desire, fetishism, white supremacy, and colonialism from a queer of colour lens.” So not at all predictable or conformist. Or self-involved. Readers wishing to get busy with said being, in a suitably woke and political way, can seek titillation via Twitter.
The telltale sign, a thesis about oneself.
like selfies.
I looked at the date and assumed this must be a spoof.
I looked at the date and assumed this must be a spoof.
It, and he – sorry, they – are quite real.
Come get some.
The tell-tale sign, a thesis about oneself.
Apparently, the insufficient numbers of men swooning with desire at Mr Luna’s profile, and his ample proportions, is the fault of the world – of people having the wrong kind of politics. The blame is always elsewhere:
Thing is, I don’t think the Grindr app is doing that. The people using Grindr are, if only by not agreeing with Mr Luna. In much the same way that the people going to a club would pick and choose potential sex partners. It isn’t the fault of Grindr, or the club, or “society.” It’s what people do, given the choice and opportunity. And if Mr Luna wishes to get laid more often, perhaps he – sorry, they – should consider an unexplored option, i.e., losing some of that weight. And if possible keeping quiet about his – sorry, their – achingly tedious identitarian politics.
And then, of course, there are the boasts of prodigious food consumption, as when telling the world, with just a hint of pride, that he – sorry they – ate an entire pizza by himself. Sorry, themselves.
Their use of the term “body fascism” was kind of amusing.
You could, I think, view most of the content of Everyday Feminism as an exercise in being chronically unrealistic and deflecting responsibility. In that, if you want to get laid more frequently but are being declined because you’re fat, then the options are: (1) lose weight, or (2) lecture the world on the terrible unfairness of people generally preferring partners who aren’t heavily overweight. The first option is practical and, with effort, may yield results. The second is self-indulgent posturing and, given human nature, is unlikely to have much effect on how often your sheets get crumpled.
“You’ll find tissues at the bar.”
Ummmm…
Ummmm…
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, madam.
Everywhere I go lately, I (along with an awful lot of other people I know and like)seem to be to blame for everything.
Here I am, white, male, good-looking (trust me on that one), past middle age, but still in great shape (trust me on that one too), intelligent, good conversationalist, adequate at most sports, able to choose good wine, well-read and not yet dead, and I run a business (boo, hiss) but only a little one, honest.
Thinking about it, once I am dead I’ll be blamed for even more things!
It’s enough to dent your self-esteem.
No it ain’t, (trigger warning) Mum and Dad brought me up to shrug that sort of sh*t off. So get knotted Caleb and take your tears elsewhere.
I have had enough.
… the being named Caleb Luna is “a first-year PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, …
I clicked through to Luna’s Twitter account and the first thing I see is this reTweet, apparently shared with approval.
Good to see that critical thinking is in rude health at UC Berkeley then.
and the first thing I see is this reTweet,
Excuse me while I adjust the frequency of my vibrations.
Ah. That’s better.
Caleb’s Twitter account
I come here to talk to myself
That figures.
It’s been almost years since I have been to a quinceañera. I’m living my life so wrong
I agree with the second part. But why would he (it/they) be interested in 15-year-old girls?
Ph.Ds ain’t what they used to be, huh?
I can’t wait to hear from him when he’s Dr. Luna.
The blame is always elsewhere
Likewise, The Cause isn’t really wearing clown shoes and pedaling a tiny tricycle, it’s real. If you lot of Normals would only see that “Teh Resistance is what we really need right now”.
What we really need right now after its national mandate to disappear, whatever it is.
“conventionally alluring anatomy”
Hey, I found a new bar pick up line!
Intersectionally related, LGBT Skittles are rayciss.
I come here to talk to myself.
That figures.
It is faintly symbolic. I mean, the point of the post above isn’t that Mr Luna struggles to find a date. It’s about his – sorry, their – elaborate self-flattering pseudo-explanation for this state of affairs. I.e., the assumption that more men ought to be attracted, and would be attracted, if only they too were schooled in the right kind of intersectional victimhood politics.
I believe the term is pity shag.
“I’m a queer, fat person who enjoys and seeks out sex with men, usually men who think of me as a man (and I don’t correct them).”
If I’m reading that correctly, Caleb isn’t actually biologically male. It’s not something I’ve looked into at all, but from the context here I assume that most men using Grindr are looking to have sex with someone who has a penis. Yes, it’s true that the market for your sexual appeal will be limited if you’re obese than if you’re physically fit, but it’s even more limited if you’re a woman who wants to have sex with gay men.
This reminds me of the BBC show about a transsexual teen, who was hurt to discover that boys lost interest when they found out there was male anatomy under the skirt. Sorry, but there’s only so far even the most open-minded people will go when trying to accept your psychoses.
If I’m reading that correctly, Caleb isn’t actually biologically male.
I hesitate to probe further. I just went with the moustache.
But in terms of sexual popularity, the lack of clarity, of differentiation, does seem to be a big part of the problem – making him – sorry, them – a niche within a niche. At risk of sounding incredibly staid and stuffy, I’d imagine that people using hook-up apps are for the most part hoping for one thing or the other, and the goods as advertised, rather than… well, last-minute surprises.
SJWs may find that demanding that people be attracted to unattractive people is a futile exercise. Genitals have a mind of their own, and care little for social justice concerns.
“I hesitate to probe further.”
Just the tip, then (metaphorically speaking).
(Sorry)
That does seem to be Luna’s problem.
I was struck by the description “first year PhD student”. Are PhD’s based on curricula now? Every PhD program I know of requires you to do research and defend a thesis on whatever time scale you can convince your advisor the work requires.
SJWs may find that demanding that people be attracted to unattractive people is a futile exercise. Genitals have a mind of their own, and care little for social justice concerns.
And yet it’s not that uncommon to hear such demands.
Just the tip, then
[ Points to Scold-O-Mat 9000. ]
[ Loads it up with sand and broken bottles. ]
They, themselves, are(is?) practicing the same sort of exclusion by declaring their own preference for men. What about those who are born women yet identify as men but are missing the gear and tackle? Shame on Caleb Luna and their exclusionary gender/sexual politics.
“I’m a queer, fat person who enjoys and seeks out sex with men, usually men who think of me as a man (and I don’t correct them).”
If I’m reading that correctly, Caleb isn’t actually biologically male.”
No, here he is referred to as “he” and mentions “his” brother
Where it gets confusing is that he (sorry, I won’t play along with his “they” horsecrap) refers to himself as a “femme” which is ordinarily a feminine lesbian, so the way I read it is this clown is so much of a soup sandwich that he is a guy who wants to have sex with men, but considers himself a feminine (that word, I think it doesn’t mean what he thinks it means) lesbian, which means he shouldn’t want to have sex with men.
From the link above, “After graduation, he plans on pursuing a Ph.D. and embarking on a career in academe.”
Of course he does.
Click at your own risk.
Some Oscar Peterson to clear the head and restore faith that their is normality in the world.
Click at your own risk.
I’m not familiar with the kind of thing I’m seeing.
The blame is always elsewhere
Haven’t we seen this before at Everyday Feminism when the editor Melissa Fabello declared how “liberating” it was to realize that none of her problems were her fault in the slightest? Or was that some other feminist who was blessed with infallibility?
Haven’t we seen this before at Everyday Feminism
Bingo. It’s practically a signature.
I’m not familiar with the kind of thing I’m seeing.
Probably for the best, but this site is loaded with similar stuff.
declared how “liberating” it was to realize that none of her problems were her fault in the slightest?
Which, even if true, doesn’t actually fix the problems.
but this site is loaded with similar stuff.
Heh. Touché.
Hmmmm.
. . . a first-year PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, . . .
Really? As noted, I was struck by the description “first year PhD student”. Are PhD’s based on curricula now?, so is there actual proof of being enrolled in a post graduate program of an actual department at Cal, or did Caleb merely wander onto campus one day?
—Oh, and for something else that doesn’t entirely ring true; I don’t know if there is some sort of formal editorial guide that Cal publishes, but Cal does tend to be rather assured about being the first campus. So as I recall, Cal’s actual formal name is The University Of California at Berkeley.
I never, not awake nor in the throes of a nightmare, thought that anything would make me able to look at things from the point of view of a fit gay man.
But you did it, David, you posted the picture of Caleb Luna. Thanks. Thanks loads. Someday I’ll learn.
Nuke the gay whales.
Related: Female bodybuilders can’t help noticing the kinds of men who find their square jaws and powerful thighs attractive tend to be odd and creepy. Even after giving themselves a pep-talk about gender norms and not-judging, they still feel disappointed and disgusted – there’s some sort of mirror being held up, and they don’t like what they see. The football players are still dating cheerleaders who’ve never done a benchpress in their lives.
On gay men playing the fat acceptance card:
We will not have true social justice until we can force people to have sex with us even when they don’t want to.
Wait, hang on, I think a couple wires got crossed here…
We will not have true social justice until we can force people to have sex with us even when they don’t want to.
On Demand and Without Apology!
I’m reminded of the old adage: “cooking lasts, kissin’ don’t.” When you’re actually in the market for a mate, physical attractiveness is often subordinated to compatibility in outlook, personality, sense of humor, etc. I’ve never used the app in question, but my guess is the focus of it is not setting people up for long-term meaningful relationships, but rather quick, mostly anonymous, bouts of mutual masturbation. That’s the sort of thing where raw physical attractiveness moves to the top of the board. It’s hard to understand why the being in question hasn’t figured that out.
And at the bottom of it all is the pathetic, sterile lust of homosexual anti-culture. It is madness to pretend these creatures have anything to say about where civilisation is headed. I don’t want to be a bad sport, but what, in the end, do they contribute to the future? Learned tomes on the subject of why no one wants to sleep with fat transvestites?
What’s worse than the Scold-O-Mat 9000 loaded with sand and broken bottles?
people using hook-up apps are for the most part hoping for
one thing orthe otherFIFY (as they say on the internet).
people using hook-up apps are for the most part hoping for
one thing orthe other[ Cue Sid James chortle. ]
Good Lord.
I clicked on the link to the Everyday Feminism site and the first thing that pops up is an ad to take a course on how to achieve healing from toxic whiteness.
The only toxic whiteness I require from that is bleach to flush out my eyes!
No, here he is referred to as “he” and mentions “his” brother
I don’t know that that’s necessarily dispositive. Considering how rapidly some parts of society have been pushing to alter language, it’s entirely possible that Luna is a woman who at previous points in her life referred to herself by male pronouns because that was the convention at the time for women trying to pass as men, but now refers to herself with plural pronouns because our language has become so degraded that that’s now considered an acceptable option.
The fact that any of this is an open question may be, as Mr. Thompson commented above, part of the reason that Luna is having trouble hooking up.
Click at your own risk.
The old adage tells us ‘there’s a lid for every pot’, but neglects to mention that in certain cases one has to be ordered in especially, or even commissioned from a bespoke manufacturer.
“That space is better used for pictures of people who actually do love and want me”
Um, Mr. Luna, I don’t know how to break it to you but Grindr is for hookups, not love.
Caleb may be dissatisfied with Grindr, but it is in fact a big time-saver for him: Back in the day, fat or middle aged gay men had to spend countless hours and days cruising porno bookstores, porno theaters, back rooms of gay bars and loading docks, looking for someone interested in giving them a blowjob. Now Caleb can do it all from the comfort of a computer desk.
Are PhD’s based on curricula now?
In the U.S., I was admitted to a doctoral program after I got my MA. The first year I was in that program I’d have called myself a “first-year PhD student.”
Didn’t complete my dissertation, so there’s no need for “Dr. Dicentra.”
Thanks for the Oscar Peterson, but I’d sure like to hear him play without the weird-ass singalong. If you ain’t my girl Ella, please stuff a sock in it, see voo play.
gay bars and loading docks,
I learn so much from these threads.
It sounds like Mr. Luna would like to shame people into lusting after him physically, which, good luck with that. Given that base physical attraction is lodged in the more primordial areas of the brain and shame is in the more advanced, human-only area, it’s unlikely he’ll get much traction on that one.
Whether he was born male or female, Mr. Luna may have been raped repeatedly as a child. The food addiction and subsequent fattening may be the result of a coping mechanism gone horribly wrong — obsessively building a protective wall of fat around the injured self. If he was born female, he’s also fleeing his femininity because of how dangerous it was to be a girl.
So here we have an injured soul who is starving for real love but cannot get it because his childhood coping mechanisms have distorted and deformed him beyond recognition, both physically and emotionally. What a crummy state to be in.
I feel sorry for him/her on one hand, but also I’m disgusted by the enablers over at EF (and elsewhere), who prevent him from getting the help he needs. For all I know, his maladaptive coping strategy has crystallized into a personality disorder, and now he’ll never escape.
Worse, he’s encouraging others to be trapped in the same hell by transforming fantasies about how he’d like the world to be into political demands.
And political demands on the behalf of those who suffer are ALWAYS righteous, ness pa?
*ptui*
Half the population has become completely unmoored and is dragging us down with them into a vortex of spite and hysteria.
< /i >
We will not have true social justice until we can force people to have sex with us even when they don’t want to.
Inshallah.
It sounds like Mr. Luna would like to shame people into lusting after him physically, which, good luck with that.
Yes, basically. Likewise, fellow Everyday Feminism contributor Riley Dennis, who wants us to believe that not wishing to have sex with him/her must be due to seething bigotry. And who also believes, or claims to believe, that the particulars of what’s inside his/her underwear will be a delightful surprise for any unwitting straight man who succumbs.
It reminded me of an episode of the reality series Cops, in which some horny and inebriated youth was about to hook up with a prostitute who wasn’t quite what she seemed. It wasn’t at all clear that the youth knew what was going on and that in fact he was about to venture into a motel room with what, to a more sober eye, appeared to be a strapping chap in a trampy frock. Neither was it clear what would have happened if the surprise hadn’t been to his taste.
[ Edited. ]
“Everyday Feminism contributor Riley Dennis, who wants us to believe that not wishing to have sex with him/her must be due to seething bigotry.”
I’m more bigoted than you, because I don’t even want to speak to Riley Dennis.
“I learn so much from these threads.”
I have learned more than I wanted to from certain science fiction writers…and often came to conclusions diametrically opposed to what they wanted.
No, here he is referred to as “he” and mentions “his” brother
I don’t know that that’s necessarily dispositive.
I get your point, however, if one tries to find a bio of him, because he is fond of splashing his picture on the innarwebs, it is apparent that at one time he was a fairly normal looking man.
There is also this, which is some weapons grade SJW arglebargle.
As mentioned, the guy is a minestrone hoagy, and without wandering too deep in the malarial swamps of the innarwebs, it appears that he may have culturally appropriated “femme” from the lesbian community, as it appears to pop elsewhere regarding males.
It is getting so you can’t tell the players without a scorecard.
Caleb wasn’t born male. He was “assigned male at birth”.
As far as I can make out he mostly acts as a man, but sometimes dresses as a woman.
https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/the-gender-nonconformity-of-my-fatness/
What I find odd is that he isn’t really that fat for a person so obsessed about his fatness. Obviously he can’t lose weight now, because that would destroy who he IS, but it wouldn’t take much effort to get into the normal range.
It’s getting really difficult to keep up. I seem to recall that the murderer of young women Elliot Rodgers left a number of writings bemoaning the unwillingness of “hot chicks” to be attracted to him. This sense of “entitlement” was loudly denounced by feminists as evidence of the omnipotent, malevolent Patriarchy. Now, Everyday Feminism publishes tripe arguing that, for certain groups, such “entitlement” is the height of virtue and demands that society accommodate their desires to be loved by whomever they desire.
Obviously, philosophical consistency has never been Feminism’s long suit, but something tells me pointing out and commenting about the two dissonant positions would not be welcome in certain circles.
Are PhD’s based on curricula now?
My wife’s experience was similar to Dicentra’s. Following her Master’s she had two years to to get an additional 24-30 hours of coursework in before taking her written comps. During that time, she told people she was either a first or second year PhD students. After that, she was ABD and spent the next three years writing doing the research for and then writing her dissertation.
Half the population has become completely unmoored and is dragging us down with them into a vortex of spite and hysteria.
Not to distill all issues to the one apparent malady, but to survive, conscious members of western civilization will need to recognize disorder as a distinct and unapproachable thing. It is disordered.
Swaths of Normal should be advised to not think that such maladies are bizarre jokes and dismissable while entertaining their political foundation – which is cultural Marxism – pursuant the myth of bipartisanship.
But conservatives enable. They’ve not realized that to out the thing is not the same as furthering the thing by perpetually accepting its terms of engagement. Half the population has become completely unmoored and is dragging us down with them into a vortex of spite and hysteria.
Identify, do not engage.
What’s worse than the Scold-O-Mat 9000 loaded with sand and broken bottles?
Reading Everyday Feminism every single day and reporting on its latest “patriarchy” findings?
“Come get some”
I just threw up a bit in my mouth.
My ex once said that the reason she ate herself up north of 320 lbs was that if she was fat, she’d be ugly and her rapist wouldn’t want to come back. FWIW.
…if she was fat, she’d be ugly and her rapist wouldn’t want to come back.
Unfortunately, rapists’ minds don’t work that way. If anything, he’d likely see her as even more vulnerable.
At issue is the internal logic of the disordered person, not its correspondence to reality.
It reminded me of an episode of the reality series Cops,
Umm…The Crying Game?
Perhaps this is a bit too existentialist, but what happens when intersectionality yields the null set?
Snails. And worms.
On account of reasons, I frequently stay at a hotel in Barcelona very near the beach, along which it is very nice, in a beachy kind of way, to take walks. For a kilometer or so (a little more than a half mile in old money), there is a a pleasing (speaking personally, of course) distribution of unholstered chesticles.
Then starts a distinctly different part of the beach. One of the first clues is that, along the first kilometer, people are either laying down, or going to, or from, the water. After that, however, everyone, or near as dammit, is standing up.
Not one of them is female, and even fewer are — oh, what’s the in term now — gravitationally gifted.
There aren’t enough re-education camps in the entire universe, and all the alternative universes beyond that.
like selfies.
a thesis about oneself.
The blame is always elsewhere
A Narcissist? In my Deceptive Mentality?
SJWs may find that demanding that people be attracted to unattractive people is a futile exercise.
Your thinking is too colonized. Getting people to obey the futile is an important part of the wokening process.
Obviously he can’t lose weight now, because that would destroy who he IS, but it wouldn’t take much effort to get into the normal range.
Quite. Losing weight as a practical step to attracting sexual interest, or romantic interest, simply isn’t addressed as an option – as if even entertaining that possibility would be some kind of political betrayal, or selling out of “non-normative bodies.” Instead, there’s lots of disagreeable self-pity and pretentious shifting of responsibility, with the implication that what’s needed is for everyone else to embrace intersectional voodoo – to “interrogate” our desires – and then suddenly we’ll all start lusting after the fat, dogmatic and sexually indeterminate.
And so one gets the impression that Mr Luna has built an elaborate, faintly grotesque public persona on his fatness, alienation and general unhappiness. As if being fat and unhappy, and absurdly demanding, were some kind of radical credential.
Everyday Feminism in a nut shell.
I am unhappy.
I can:
a) blame me, then change
ii) blame you, then relax
what to do, what to do
*idly strokes chin*
what to do, what to do
*idly strokes chin*
Absolutely. If only they could bend the universe to their will, and envelop everyone in the same psychodrama, then everything would be fine and the demons would stop chattering. The dogmatic disregard for how, in this case, sexual attraction works is remarkable. But I think this kind of unrealism and displacement is a pretty standard dynamic among the “social justice” contingent, and certainly among contributors to Everyday Feminism.
It’s like expecting to earn a living by making enormously heavy porcelain shoes that are hideously uncomfortable, only available in one size, and which result in broken ankles, and wondering why they aren’t selling in vast quantities.
“But I’ve even painted flowers on them! What’s wrong with you people?”
Well, I hope that he (they/she/wtf) do finally find love.
Well, I hope that he (they/she/wtf) do finally find love.
The question, I suppose, is whether the intersectional victimhood mentality, with its knotty neuroticism and demands that everyone else change their desires to fit, is a plausible way to achieve that goal, or a major obstacle. See also this, by Melissa Fabello, the editor of Everyday Feminism. If you were to follow her convoluted and fretful dating advice, do you think it would help?
Isn’t Riley Dennis a bloke who likes girls and the frocks they wear?
(Or was Blaire White taking the urine?)
… the being named Caleb Luna is “a first-year PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, …
A master’s candidate at a Russell group university, a self-confessed devotee of Michel Foucault, told me recently in a seminar how Ayuravedic medicine could cure broken bones with the application of straw, loosely applied to the broken limb.
Purely for research purposes.
Speaking of which, Lena Dunham has recently come under suspicion of being insufficiently devoted to the chubby cause.
Purely for research purposes.
I’ve been staring at that a lot longer than was strictly necessary.
If you were to follow her convoluted and fretful dating advice, do you think it would help?
I recall when you first posted Fabello’s interracial/intercultural dating advice. Frankly, I found it quite helpful, inasmuch as I’ve been married for 30 years to a European who hails from a nation with which we Americans, et al. had a bit of unpleasantness during the first half of the 20th century. Until I read Fabello’s article, my marriage was something like this.
Losing weight as a practical step to attracting sexual interest, or romantic interest, simply isn’t addressed as an option – as if even entertaining that possibility would be some kind of political betrayal, or selling out of “non-normative bodies.”
It’s like somebody told them that they’re lovable warts and all, they’ve taken it on board as a moral principle beyond its intended context of how your mother loves you or God loves you, and now anyone who suggests that they’d be happier if they got their warts removed is a body fascist.
And there’s the game of emphasizing and exhibiting their ugliness in order to sniff out the body fascists and entangle them in R.D. Laing knots – look at me, I’m fat; but don’t see my fatness, see the beautiful soul within; but don’t ignore my fatness, because that’s like ignoring me; and I’m taking a stand against conventional beauty standards; but don’t ever say that I’m not conventionally beautiful. Lena Dunham plays that game a lot.
And there’s the game of emphasizing and exhibiting their ugliness in order to sniff out the body fascists and entangle them in R.D. Laing knots
Heh. It does rather suggest bad faith. And as so often with Everyday Feminism articles, there’s an air of something obvious being studiously ignored. If a person’s weight is repelling potential suitors and this is regarded as a cause of great misery, then there’s an obvious and practical option to pursue. And yet it’s apparently unmentionable. Instead, there’s boasting about the amount of pizza that can be consumed in a single sitting. And the only action taken is to indulge in self-pity and to scold everyone else for their general preferences, which won’t achieve anything of practical use, and is likely to make the person doing the scolding and whining seem even less alluring.
There are people who have to cope with serious disfigurements, or who lose limbs in accidents or in combat, or who suffer horrific burns, and for whom one might feel sympathy. But a fat cartoon queen who alternates between self-pity and absurd entitlement, while making ludicrous demands and ignoring practical solutions, doesn’t make the list.
an air of something obvious being studiously ignored.
IMNSHO, that’s the nut of a great many problems that cause so much strife from the left, mostly, but the right as well. Try to bring such matters to such people’s attention and you are immediately “othered”. Such things are simply beyond the pale. Pearl clutching is the most engaging response you are likely to get. Out fat little friend here is simply the logical manifestation of the inbreeding of ideas over a sufficiently long period of time.
It’s almost like a self-fulfilling fantasy world…It is a self-fulfilling fantasy world, just one they get pleasure from bitching and whining about. Fantasy in the form of a personal hell. But hey, freedom. With zero responsibility.
So I guess if you are a senior citizen on Grindr and don’t get any or many hits, it’s everyone else’s fault too even though 99 percent of the men on Grindr are below the age of 40?
Tangentially related to weird, progressive sexual politics via Instapundit. (Yes, I know it’s The Guardian, but it’s actually quite interesting.) Pull quote regarding cognitive dissonance:
She hesitates. “But you do end up making strange bedfellows. The people supporting free speech now are the conservatives. It’s incomprehensible to me, but it’s the so-called liberals on campus, the students who think of themselves as activists, who are becoming increasingly authoritarian. So I’m trying to step carefully. It’s not like you want to make certain allies, particularly the men’s rights people.”
Do we glimpse the beginnings of an epiphany?
If Luna lost his excess weight, he’d also lose his best excuse for the rejections he gets, and would have to admit that gay guys … a protected pc class these days … were being turned off by his obnoxious personality and had been all along.
The options are: (1) lose weight, or (2) lecture the world on the terrible unfairness of people generally preferring partners who aren’t heavily overweight.
Or 3) accept any partner at all…
(a) on whatever terms that partner demands (BDSM, for instance).
(b) regardless of that partner’s decrepitude, lack of hygiene, manners, mental disorders, or STDs.
Or 4) Pay for it.
It’s incomprehensible to me, but it’s the so-called liberals on campus, the students who think of themselves as activists, who are becoming increasingly authoritarian.
How can a 60 year old professor not know that activists are quite often the most authoritarian group in any society?
Has she not read anything about the French Revolution or Russian Revolutions — or any revolution for that matter?
I see what you did there.
That is a truly brilliant observation. In a previous life, I had some technical involvement with talk radio in Los Angeles. One day, just as I was reaching the front door of KABC, he and his mom walked around the corner. Without warning.
Mr. Luna doesn’t have a [many expletives] clue.
Men? Rights? Quelle horreur!
How can a 60 year old professor not know that activists are quite often the most authoritarian group in any society?
A sixty year old professor probably obtained his/her Ph.D. in the mid to late ’80s. I was in grad school in the humanities at the time, and I recall distinctly, we began to see Critical Theory and its progeny together with its adverse affects really taking hold on campus. It was new; it was edgy and it was everyone wanted to be. It’s easy to ignore the lessons of history when one believes he is in the vanguard of something profound.
Men? Rights? Quelle horreur!
Quite an amusing remark from Professor Kipnis. She needs to be reminded of a an old adage–received wisdom or an old verity, if you prefer: “It takes two to tango.”
Which, come to think of it, brings us back to Mr. Luna.
Obviously, philosophical consistency has never been Feminism’s long suit
Hypocrisy is the progressives’ modus operandi.
Mr. Luna doesn’t have a [many expletives] clue.
Here we have someone who’s basically too lazy to fix a fairly simple problem that he nonetheless whines about pretentiously, repeatedly and at great length, and who conjures elaborate excuses for why everyone else should do the work instead. Because, by implication, the fact that he’s not getting laid is somehow our fault. Because we haven’t “interrogated” our desires.
Identity politics is seductive largely because it encourages self-flattery and offers endless excuses for inadequacy. It therefore attracts a very high concentration of narcissists and the tediously self-involved, people who aren’t generally known for their realism or sense of proportion. And which may explain why Mr Luna, a student at UC Berkeley, is apparently writing his thesis about himself.
Except for female ones, obviously. That goes without saying.
It’s a niche I guess…..
There are people who have to cope with serious [things] for whom one might feel sympathy. But a fat cartoon queen who alternates between self-pity and absurd entitlement, while making ludicrous demands and ignoring practical solutions, doesn’t make the list.
I’ve found that the best way to understand people’s bad or ludicrous or self-defeating behavior is to look for the pain, rather than to “look for the good” in someone. (Actually, this works for people whose behavior is admirable as well.)
Once you’ve identified the pain, though, you’re not obligated to feel such compassion (or “compassion”) for the person that you become an enabler. Were I a friend of Mr. Luna I’d advise him to get help dealing with the pain—rather than telling him to lose weight—but he’d probably not take that advice because he’s getting so much of he wants (narcissistic supply?) by running his distortions up a flagpole and watching people salute.
It’s one thing for crazy folks to be crazy. It’s quite another for the crazy to be upheld as admirable.
[ Looks around furtively. ]
[ Jots down “running his distortions up a flagpole and watching people salute.” ]
[ Resumes wiping bar in a nonchalant manner. ]
I shamelessly stole the structure for that line from M*A*S*H. Something on the telly.
Public domain, IOW, so have at it.
“It’s quite another for the crazy to be upheld as admirable.”
There are all sorts of encouragement (national mental heath day, etc.) for people to seek help but I have to wonder if this hasn’t partially valorized and encouraged some people into disorders, whether real or just convenient.
“I have an anxiety disorder worrying about whether I’m neurotic, mentally ill or just not part of the cool kid crowd.”
[ Jots down “running his distortions up a flagpole and watching people salute.” ] . . . .
. . . Public domain, IOW, so have at it.
Oh, yes, David. Di’s version may be distortions, and that structure is apparently rather more American than British, but certainly quite public domain . . .