Adhesive Not Included
Or, Wooing And Titillation, The Transgender Way.
It has to be said that, until today, hot prosthetic pics is a series of words I’ve had little cause to use. But we must, I’m told, make an effort to keep up with The Current Thing, and thereby become engorged with sensitivity and whatnot. And so, from the Reddit forum r/ftm – where ladies who wish to be perceived as men seek out the counsel of their peers – I bring you this:
The photos she sends me are definitely nsfw… So I wanna be able to take sexy photos for her too. I just wanted to know if the fact it’s… a prosthetic would be weird to her if she thought about it or whatever.
In the subsequent comments, affirmation ensues:
Eliza Mondegreen adds, “Peak It’s the thought that counts.”
Previously and related, this dysmorphic being – a “Latinx genderfluid personal trainer” and a “trans 2Spirit DEI consultant,” pronouns “they/he/she” – opted for a “seven-inch in a tan colour.” With additional adhesive.
Best used on a clean, dry surface.
For those who wish to know more, there are, of course, online shopping options. Viewer discretion is advised.
Update, via the comments, on being a parent with a pseudo-penis:
However, the children, we’re assured, “have seen my adult toys.”
Also, open thread. Share ye links and bicker.
I have questions.
Regarding the mighty object purchased by our “Latinx genderfluid personal trainer,” and as noted at the time, I too have questions regarding the impressive – and seemingly permanent – um, engorgement of said object. There are, I think, issues of everyday practicality. And walking around, all day, everywhere, even in the gym, with a permanently erect rubber penis glued to one’s… er, person is a little… odd.
Lady or not.
This surprises me snd I am wondering if the recipients of these pictures are trans guys (meaning, men pretending to be women). There is a reason why the long defunct magazine Playgirl folded and yet Fifty Shades of Grey made huge bank – women are not as aroused as men by looking at pictures. We want the story and the fantasy surrounding it, be it as G-rated as Harlequin romance novels or the trend in college girls to “discover” Anais Nin’s erotica.
The genderfluid personal trainer with the well-cultivated hair is one of the more convincing ‘trans men’ I have seen.TBH, the grossly disproportionate, permanently hard, fake penis is rather undermining the act.
Nope, all good here, thanks….
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings cannot get here soon enough.
Hey, I’m just showing you the world.
[ Opens notebook, scribbles studiously. ]
Not sure when I’m going to need this information, but still.
This surprises me and I am wondering if the recipients of these pictures are trans guys (meaning, men pretending to be women).
You can’t tell the players without a scorecard.
Speaking of which, this
chapgal“artist” (I don’t have a scorecard) brings us the Pieta 2.0, a version totally unexpected. I can’t wait for the Sistine Chapel makeover.The excitement is deafening.
I think you misspelled ‘excrement’…
I suppose deafening excrement would be a passable band name. Norwegian death metal, possibly.
So, a Sig P320 in FDE?
Or not, I suppose. After all, there’s no place for adhesives…
Well there goes my plans for the holidays…
You’d think he could paint his face with a bit more skill.
Why is this a thing?
Mobile phones, I suppose. The manufacturers could put it in the advertising: “Your disembodied genitals will look fabulous in 4K resolution. With a wide selection of filters and emojis.” Though I’m quite content to not be part of that particular, um, subcultural scene.
I did once leave two minutes of recorded fridge hum on a friend’s answering machine, but I don’t think that counts as erotic.
“Wooing And Titillation, The Transgender Way,
a walkin in a winter wonderland…
You’re welcome.
Only crowd response was one “Woohoo!” The “artist” gestures with his arms 3 times, the last at 0:24. What does that mean? “Where’s the applause?”
“Extremely realistic pack n play packers”
It does roll trippingly off the tongue
Good grief – I can see her talking that way “Like, this” and “Like, that”, but typing it out that way too? I’m glad I’m old – men my age don’t sound like teenage girls. No wonder these pretend men have to overcompensate with gigantic fake genitalia – it’s like the pretend women and their giant fake boobs.
I attended a small local conference earlier this year, and went to the student poster session to support the my collaborator’s grad students. One of the other posters there was presented by a petite student in a suit and sporting a 70’s porn ‘stache. At first I felt bad for the guy because it has to suck being male and so tiny with a high voice, but later I wondered if it was one of those steroided up little pretend men.
I’m just going to leave this here for anyone who may have missed it.
Still faintly tickled by the fact that Mags briefly thought it was chicken.
The juxtaposition of that picture and the Next Post icon is amusing.
Heh. You don’t get this over at Worstall’s place or Samizdata, you know. Quality establishment, this is.
Heh. Off topic but last night we went to a Christmas concert at the local Lib Arts college. It was quite good but just last night I noticed that one of the conductors, whom we had seen before, has a voice that sounds almost exactly like Emo Phillips. The pitch changes and the tone were so bloody close. It just wasn’t quite as exaggerated of course since Emo is consciously trying to be funny. Once I noticed this, I had a hard time processing what the guy was actually saying. I wonder if he knows? Surely some of the young people he instructs have picked up on this.
Started reading this entry. Initially confused about the ppl involved. Is the person sending the pic man or woman? Is the recipient man or woman? But is that trans or cis or biological or whatever prefix is currently in vogue? Is a woman who dates another woman gay? Or does the prosthesis mean she’s straight?
It seems this is an enigma, wrapped inside a mystery, wrapped inside a puzzle, all wrapped together in a box with a tumescent artificial penis.
Brave new world. One I don’t understand.
Meanwhile…
However, remember, Smokey says “Only you can prevent suicide“.
Hang on to your hats, because Science Says (a.k.a. a study from Finland) that wanting to cut off your bits may mean you’re mentally ill.
That’s just crazy talk.
It’s not the stabbings. The stabbings are just fine. Very multicultural you know. It’s the reaction to the stabbings that’s the problem.
Rule 34 implies that there’s somebody who finds it erotic.
(NB: I am not that somebody.)
NEXT POST icon…
Someday, we all hope, David will pull aside the veil, and reveal to the faithful the arcane knowledge that allows him to achieve such subtle glories.
Well, only if there’s a shirt on the individual. Otherwise, the visible scars undermine the story.
Must I bring up Joe’s Garage as a counter-argument?
History wasn’t brown enough for the BBC.
Re brown history and Dr. Who, from the comments:
People, conservative, “conservative”, and otherwise need to be pushing back on this sort of BS. The obvious rejoinder is “Now do Jessie Smollett, Nathan Phillips, Trayvon Martin, George Floyd, anything involving Donald Trump or Brexit, Net Neutrality, Ron DeSantis, Florida in general, the whole tranny culture, women wildly hysterical about nearly everything, etc. etc. etc”.
Says Indy 100’s Liam O’Dell:
I don’t know about outrage, but the rather ostentatious casting decision – and its underlying assumptions – are a little… puzzling. I mean, if an actor’s race is now deemed irrelevant to the casting of famous historical figures, I doubt that notion would be expected by its proponents ever to be reciprocal. I somehow can’t see the BBC or the mainstream media being so chuffed about a white actor playing a brown-skinned historical figure.
So what’s the principle in play? What are the New Progressive Rules? Beyond what appears to be a self-satisfied glow about erasing historical realities and sticking two fingers up to a large part of the audience. And dismissing as “racists” those who find the decision dubious or condescending, including some minority viewers, and then applauding oneself, doesn’t quite address the issue.
Some have argued that Doctor Who is a fantasy series, a show about an alien with a time machine who encounters Cybermen and Daleks, and so the ahistorical racial casting gimmick is unimportant and of interest only to bigots and Very Bad People.
But again, this seems rather glib, or disingenuous. It seems to me that if there are fewer familiar and fixed points against which to add the fantasy – if anything can change, arbitrarily, including the race of famous historical figures – then engagement and suspension of disbelief are made more difficult. For an audience, there’s just more contrivance that has to be gotten past. Any drama to be had is smeared, and made distant, by all of the contrivance, all those woke fingerprints.
There’s an episode in which the Doctor encounters Vincent Van Gogh – it’s supposed to be one of the better episodes – and the actor playing Van Gogh, Tony Curran, bears a resemblance and doesn’t seem immediately incongruous or jarring. His appearance doesn’t throw you out of the time-travelling fantasy. Which makes the final scene of the episode work, insofar as it does. If Van Gogh had been depicted as a black Caribbean or an Australian Aboriginal, I suspect the results would have been somewhat less successful.
I somehow can’t see the BBC or the mainstream media being so chuffed about a white actor playing a brown-skinned historical figure.
They would be dead chuffed, but they are not even chuffing chuffed about wypipo playing historical (or even fictional) wypipo.
Part The First.
Part The Second.
So again, one has to ask – what’s the principle in play? What’s the reciprocal rule?
…what’s the principle in play?
Cis hwites bad.
Essentially it is fashionable to slag on heterosexual wypipo for the imaginary sins of being heterosexual ytes to boost one’s virtual social credit score among their fellow NPCs, and damn the second and third order effects.
Of course, as has been demonstrated in these pages, POCs or Alphabet Wypipo are really “cis” wypipo and targets of the same opprobrium if they deviate from the script.
There is no reciprocal rule, that would require standards and tenets other than the desire to be fluffed by their peers.
[ Slides tankard of advocaat to Mr Muldoon. ]
‘What’s mine is mine; what’s yours is negotiable.’
There are no principles nor rules in play, period. Looking for such, trying to find some middle ground set of rules on which we can all agree is itself giving ground to these people. It’s not like we haven’t tried. For decades. It should be quite clear by now that these elements of the left have only one rule, they win/you lose. It’s a zero-sum game mentality that permeates virtually all of their mindset on many subjects but especially economics. The only way to fight it is to understand their mentality and push back. Hard. In no uncertain terms. No equivocation, no f***s given. Be very, very clear. Anything less and you’re losing. I don’t like it but, in the words of the great Paul Anka, that’s just the f******g way it is. Simple reality. The thing just short of war that if you don’t grasp, don’t want to admit to yourself that your enemy is precisely that, an evil force that has no interest in being reckoned with, then war is sure to follow.
That.
The flaw in all this wipeepo bad crap is the conceit that if only history had been different, the world would be all kittens and candy. Four of the five wars with the most deaths happened in China, exceeded only by WWII. Tribal warfare all over the world was constant and brutal. In Yanomamo, The Fierce People, Chagnon documented that in this Brazilian tribe raiding and murder were rampant. The chief of one village had killed 22 men (according to himself). The more murders, the more wives. The Barbary Pirates in the 1700s captured and enslaved tens of thousands of Europeans. etc. So, did wipeepo colonize the world and act brutally? Of course they did. That is what all humans have always done. They are guilty because they won all the wars and conquests. Of course, they almost lost to the arabs (stopped at Vienna and Spain). BUT because they won, we have cell phones and a legal system that promotes justice and voting and airplanes and and and. If the old tribal warfare had simply continued, we would have none of that.
At the risk of being indelicate… if women are gluing these where I assume they are gluing them (and not, say, their forehead)… what happens when they… peel them off?
Is it like tearing off a plaster? Or do they have to wait for autumn?
I have to say, I hadn’t previously considered adhesive in quite that way. I mean, the glue would have to be fairly strong to avoid… shall we say, farcical situations. Or rather, more farce than is already present.
Any passing experts in adhesive are welcome to chime in.
…if women are gluing these where I assume they are gluing them…
Given that they are unsure what factory equipment they are supposed to have, let alone men’s, there is no telling where they are gluing them. OTOH, there is a reason some people are called dickheads.
Is it like tearing off a plaster?
Depending on their, shall we say, grooming habits, more like tearing off the handyman’s secret weapon.
Band name.
That boat has already sailed.
Well, during the customary range of uses to which it may be put. the real deal isn’t usually in any danger of detaching and ending up on the carpet, or rolling across the floor of the local gym.
But hush, there are ladies listening. And we don’t want any fainting.
Cis hwites bad…
…why, they are not even human.
Considering that I was eating while reading this there was a bit of choking – on my dinner! – as I busted out laughing at that mental image (I could not watch the whole video).
They’ve got to be sticking it up front and not suspended from underneath, if there’s glue involved. And there must be some kind of adhesive remover to dissolve the glue, otherwise it would be worse than a Brazilian wax – there’d be torn skin.
The more I read about these people I come to the conclusion that both the fake women and the fake men have no clue what the real deal they’re striving for feels like, how it behaves, or even what it looks like. It’s like they all have some cartoon porn idea of anatomy and presentation.
You’re an evil person for laughing. But it would take a heart of stone not to laugh.
“It’s like they all have some cartoon porn idea of anatomy and presentation.”
they also have a cartoon idea of reality, relationships, and the economy
Quick, grab the Flex Seal! Even works underwater!
(Those across the pond may wish to research that…)
So my X (twitter) feed has been 95% conspiracy theory stuff–including flat earther stuff–for the past two days. I’m totally passive on X, I don’t search anything, I don’t post anything, I don’t re-X, comment or even like. I only view content linked from news feeds and blogs.
Is it just me? Most of the stuff is garbage.
But the children, we’re assured, “have seen my adult toys.”
But the children, we’re assured, “have seen my adult toys.”
Yes, but how and why mummy uses her Big Jim Slade Autograph Model™ was done in a “child friendly manner”, and isn’t that really the important thing?
I mean, you wouldn’t want them learning that stuff in school would you?
Oh, wait a tic.
That seems to be the least of your problems.
It seems to me that if there are fewer familiar and fixed points against which to add the fantasy
There are a couple of characters in Netflix’s Frankenstein Chronicles that are played by black actors. The characters are not black, but it’s at least possible that they could be – and the constant puzzlement of whether they were in fact black and how this fit into the overall narrative was a mighty distraction from the rest of the plot. A veritable Chekhov’s artillery battery. It’s worse because much of the plot revolves around whether the protagonist is just hallucinating everything.
Well, again, that’s the thing. The gimmicky, self-satisfied race-swapping is basically another obstacle to immersion in the story, such as it is. It’s another contrivance, among so many, that one is obliged to get past in order to find the entertainment. Such as it is.