Friday Ephemera (676)
You want one and you know it. || When the neighbours drop by. || Visitors of a different kind. || Dating decisions. || I gather this is what goes on in ladies’ fitting rooms. || A suitably ill-tempered guide to the Russian Revolution and its consequences – part 1, part 2, part 3. || Just like the knights of old. || Buffet nibbles. || His clicky nails. || Skillz. || It comes with a curing kit. || “Can I get it Tuesday?” she asked. Full video here. (h/t, pst314) || Disco clam. || Dance moves. || Martian wheels, stretchy metal. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Emotional journey. || Mystery solved. || Control panel of note. || The progressive retail experience, parts 472, 473, and 474. || A project for the weekend. || How to feel old. || Insufficiently aloft. || Indoor bees. || And finally, today’s word is subgenre.
Should you be tempted, you can follow me on Twitter.
Needed a strong left hook. Repeat as needed.
I’m always a bit apprehensive when David’s link says “You want one and you know it.”
Because a gentleman always carries a cane.
What’s missing? Well, all the tea is in the coffee-and-tea aisle, which would be sadly impoverished if all the British tea brands were removed.
all the tea is in the coffee-and-tea aisle,
Bottom left of the photo, PG Tips, Typhoo Tea and Yorkshire Tea.
Here in the Great White North we have British sections too, but almost everything on that shelf would be in the regular food sections. All of those chocolate bars are normal chocolate bars here. I would have expected a Yorkie bar and maybe a Flake, but Coffee Crisp and Mars Bar?
Yes, but any decent American supermarket will also carry other British brands such as Twinings or Taylors of Harrogate. Vade retro, Lipton!
As unofficial emissary from the US&A I apologize in advance if tomorrow King Charles is given a sombrero as a token of the special relationship between the US&A and the UK..
A rather elastic interpretation.
My house doesn’t have that many coats of paint.
Yes, but any decent American supermarket…
Not to re-fight the great tea war again but…I’ll just leave this here. Still never been served a decent cup of tea in the US. And just for the record, Lipton tea sucks but seems to be the brand of choice when you order tea in the US.
You had me with the ‘New York Teachers Union’ in the intro.
Subgenre.
Does anyone else watch Diesel Brothers?
Emotional journey
I watched this with the sound off, so I don’t know what the soundtrack is like.
Bloody funny finale, though possibly all staged.
This style of humour reminds me of Eric Sykes in for e.g. The Plank and the other short film with the funeral.
Morning, all.
It reminded me of a hipster crumpet shop in the U.S. – in Seattle, I think – which served the most flaccid and anaemic crumpets, barely cooked at all, and with revoltingly incongruous toppings, including cucumber.
Because, you know, ironic crumpets.
“Control panel of note.“
Amazing! To think I have more processing power in my phone than NASA had in their entire control room…
And anyone with Apple TV who hasn’t watched the brilliant ‘For All Mankind’, treat yourself, it’s the best thing on there (bar ‘Slow Horses’).
That’s lovely.
What’s missing?
I was pleased to see Tunnocks caramel wafers and small chunk Branson.
Whenever I visit my expat relatives Twiglets, Frank Cooper Oxford marmalade, Walkers Shortbread (or M&S in their nice Xmas tins), Crunchie and Yorkie bars are high on the list of requests.
If you have the time, it’s worth watching the whole thing.
‘Tis rather.
On a similar note, an oldie but goodie.
https://youtu.be/rirDOIttODM
He even has a squire…
Heh. Yes.
Not annoying at all, is he? 🙂
The voice, the mania, the nail clicking, the relentless self-involvement, the demented laugh… He’s like a psychological torture device. Serial killers could be locked in a confined space with him until they reveal where the bodies are.
That clam makes me want to do blow and get all hunter biden with it.
If anyone’s getting aroused by this thread, I’m upping the price of the drinks.
Bonus points for the baby.
Sorry – missed you last week. Ping!
…subgenre
It still sounds exactly like the kind of generic electro pop that one can hear outside bars and cafes all around the Med.
I’m still dealing with the impact of last week’s French Revolution thanks!
Flying watermelons.
You may be an accessory to murder.
Were they being ironic? Or “creative”? After all, consider California Pizza Kitchen with its many offerings which might plausibly provoke an Italian lynch mob.
That’s one of the British items that I find in most American supermarkets.
But if your expat friends cannot find it, then maybe it’s a regional thing and there are parts of America where there is insufficient demand to justify selling them.
…then maybe it’s a regional thing…
More likely looking in the wrong place. The picture you posted is a Publix, a chain in the southeast and the Walkers are in the cookies section along with some German and other stuff. I have seen the same phenomenon in upper midwest and Texas stores.
Out of morbid curiosity, having heard them frequently mentioned, as our local Publix had the Batchelor’s Mushy Peas I tried them. Think chunky Gerber’s.
Regardless, by clicking David’s Amazon link*, one can be awash in Walkers products.
*(#doingmypart)
Not to re-fight the great tea war again but…I’ll just leave this here.
I do wonder if that abomination could have been concocted just for the publicity.
Still never been served a decent cup of tea in the US.
Do you mean in a restaurant or in someone’s home? Quality tea takes more time and trouble than most restaurants are willing/able to take, given the small number of serious tea-drinkers here, hence the tiny pot of hot water to pour into your cold teacup.
And just for the record, Lipton tea sucks but seems to be the brand of choice when you order tea in the US.
Better restaurants will bring you a selection of teabags by some better brand, but you’re right that most just serve Lipton. I think it’s a cultural/historical thing: Remember how uniformly mediocre American coffee used to be, dominated by Maxwell House and other brands? And how this started to change in the 70’s or 80’s, so that now it’s easy to find all sorts of good varieties? Something similar has happened with tea, so that you can now find lots of good tea in many supermarkets, but serious tea drinkers are a much smaller part of the population here and so restaurants have little incentive to cater to them.
Yorkie bars are illegal here under truth-in-advertising laws: There is no dog at all in those bars.
Not my picture.
I confirm that Walkers can be found in the cookie aisle in Midwestern supermarkets.
Soon we will be “treated” with Fair Go Dibbler’s meat pie floater in mushy peas.
[ Returns from Peak District, laden with pies and fancy cheeses. ]
Bless you, sir. May your inbox be full of relevance and intrigue.
Well, yes, most of us do, but not sure it requires a banner.
“May I offer madam some Viagra™ to pair with his estrogen?”
I see the Guardian is doing what it does.
Re Walkers Shortbread and expats
I was referring to my Florida based sister and her family, all of whom I love dearly. They are surrounded by several very pleasant Publix stores.
However is there an American equivalent for the phrase “Tighter than a gnat’s chuff”?
Not to interfere with our host’s remitment, World Market in the U.S. is also an excellent source for Walker’s (the stem ginger biscuits are lovely).
Does anyone know of a TED talk that isn’t pandering to the phantasms of the Left?
However is there an American equivalent for the phrase “Tighter than a gnat’s chuff”?
Because no one owns a dictionary, “niggardly” is right out these days as is “Could squeeze a nickle till the Indian rode the buffalo”.
That was replaced with “Could squeeze a nickle till Jefferson came out of the memorial” because they changed the coin and is now racist because Jefferson, or something.
Ah, poetry.
https://youtu.be/JHYIShxWHTY
Lifted from todays Lotuseaters. An American eats beans on toast albeit not in the conventional fashion.
“A British breakfast staple.”
Lipton tea sucks but seems to be the brand of choice when you order tea in the US
Because Lipton’s is cheap. The tea equivalent of Will’s Woodbine cigarettes – sweepings from the factory floor.
The brand that Tristan Farnon smoked. Was that supposed to be a clue to his financial situation? Or to his personality (preferences)? If so, it went right by me.
one can be awash in Walkers products.
My favourite Walker’s product comes in black or red and if you drink enough of it you don’t give a sh!t about any f**kin’ biscuits
An American eats beans on toast albeit not in the conventional fashion.
Spiderman poster and Star Wars t-shirt – opinion invalid automatically.
Meanwhile, “O tempora, O mores“, this would barely be the lyrics (if you can call them that) to a rap song (if you can call one that).
She/he/it seems nice.
How is it a group of people, distinguished only by related mental illnesses, who have removed themselves from the gene pool, can suffer genocide?
How is it a group of people, distinguished only by related mental illnesses, who have removed themselves from the gene pool, can suffer genocide?
How is it genocide when there are allegedly more of them every day?
Setting aside the beans for a minute, why would a person butter toast in that way?
It’s monstrous.
It’s monstrous.
I started twitching when I watched it. Now I know why.
It’s brutish, pure heathenry.
It’s brutish, pure heathenry.
Here, have some vodka like substance to help calm yourselves.
[ Paces back and forth, thinking about how toast should be buttered. ]
On the subject of drinks, a writer (if one can call him that) is frightened by coffee.
There is an authority for you. There is also a scary “infographic” with a skull telling us 10-14 grams of caffeine is a lethal dose. Whereas that is true, one would have to drink 100-140 cups (6-8 gallons) of coffee at once to get that dose. Good luck with that.
Whatever you do, don’t read any other of this bozo’s “articles”.
[ Disregards warning. ]
Okay then.
Band name.
On 2 of 3. Can recommend.
I was watching with the sound off and for a second I thought it was chicken.
I’m guessing that was somewhere around this glorious moment…?
Madam, I don’t think you can find those in Tesco. Or even Waitrose.
lol. YOU’VE RUINED MY DINNER.
I commend our host for resisting the mischievous temptation to link the 7 incher to his favourite descriptive category “You want one and you know it”.
Rey, by the way – the lady whose, um, penis can be seen above – is a “Latinx genderfluid personal trainer” and a “trans 2Spirit DEI consultant.” Her stipulated pronouns are “they/he/she,” though it’s not made clear whether these are interchangeable or vary according to circumstance, time of day, mood swings, etc.
Had I thought of it…
I have to say, I do have questions regarding the impressive – and seemingly permanent – um, engorgement of said object.
Cold showers seem unlikely to have an effect.
Well, walking around, all day, everywhere, even in the gym, with a permanently erect rubber penis glued to one’s… er, person is a little… odd.
Lady or not.
Two hours well spent so far. Looking forward to the third. I generally don’t go in for long videos. The first three minutes of the first one almost lost me but it was well worth sticking with it. I pretty much knew most of that. While it was a very entertaining refresher, I will also be recommending to others. Part 2 does a real good job of addressing the economics of land ownership. Might require a trigger warning for some of the libertarians that I have known.
You’re surprised by this? This is mainstream thinking now, at least in the overton window sense.
I generally roll my eyes when others say this but…I first read that as ‘wanking’.
It comes with a curing kit.
I am still wondering why the hell one would want to wear a strapon during a 5K, and, if that thing is glued on in anything resembling an anatomic position, how the hell she urinates.
OTOH, impressive glue, and TBF, if she decides to get a Potemkinpenis, at least she knows what a real one is supposed to look like.
I have to say, I do have questions regarding the impressive – and seemingly permanent – um, engorgement of said object.
Sheesh, you let one fine arts student make a plaster cast while at uni and it haunts you for the rest of your life.
…I thought it was chicken.
Well it is cock.
[ Grabs Jacket. Heads for the back door. ]
Can I interest anyone in a nice hot bowl of soup?
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSYHix0loll4ao6wfiYkDyJveIzzI1Ge-KlCA&usqp=CAU
Actually I have a recipe for that.
Be sure to reserve your copy early, this is guaranteed to sell out.
Speaking for a friend, of course.
Yes. Similar thought occurred to me as well.
On a more personal note, as I have been relating certain gym locker room experiences in the context of this world not being real…so today I was in a bit of a rush, the gym had the usual “women in locker room” sign up that I have come to regard similar to the ever present “wet floor/piso wtf” signs… I was a tad nervous because of being short on time, being there slightly outside my regular timeframe and, when last this happened out of…whatever… I chose to delay getting dressed because there were actual women (two) there, in my same area…today I was a bit nervous because I needed to rush things and as there were no women around at that moment that I had seen. I’m getting dressed and I swear, just as my 60+ yo naked a55 is getting into my skivvies a woman enters the room right behind me to announce “womegjhdfhjbbgfhhh”. “Thanks” I says without missing a beat. Or a leg hole.
Meal review of note.
As a very rare commenter, I wanted to say thanks for introducing me to Professor O’Flannery’s channel Flappr. Their website ain’t half bad either. I found myself unable to breathe after only four minutes of his French Revolution video.
@Darleen: “Be sure to reserve your copy early, this is guaranteed to sell out.“
I’m almost afraid to ask what her powers are…
Practicality does not appear to be foremost on madam’s mind. Ditto propriety, given the permanent engorgement of the thing.
[ Whispers the words mentally ill. ]
“The Change”
Perhaps Whoopi took inspiration from/shamelessly plagiarised the 1999 film Mystery Men?
https://mysterymen.fandom.com/wiki/PMS_Avenger
When you wish you’d chosen a different mascot (from last nights rugby league).
https://youtu.be/VLqhjJr6vAY
That. How are you supposed to know which one to use? Do you have to keep asking?
Oh and a belated ping of the tip jar.
As we’ve seen, some sexual dysmorphics will on one occasion claim that any pronoun on the list is acceptable – and then, quite abruptly and emphatically, insist that only one option is tolerable and that use of any of the others is an outrage, while indulging in a farcical pantomime of supposed emotional injury.
The whole thing seems designed to wrong-foot the obliging and unwary, to subject said dupe to a game of psychological domination: “You wouldn’t want to oppress me, or make me angry or depressed, or make me want to kill myself, so jump through these hoops whenever we interact. Oh, did I not mention that the rules can change arbitrarily?”
Bless you, sir. May your detergent liquitabs always dissolve properly, even on a cool wash, and not leave your towels tainted with a kind of blue, rubbery snot.
Seconded. Entertaining and educational. Possibly.
Now excuse me while I light up this Chesterfield.
The good professor does have a Twitter presence.
How dare you prefer to feel safe on public transport and not be assaulted by a deranged person, you selfish bourgeois bigot.
It’s that parody of women thing. Actually in this case…
Ditto propriety, given the permanent engorgement of the thing.
“If your plastic priapism lasts more than four hours consult a psychiatrist.”
That’s not likely to help. Consulting a psychiatrist is how she ended up with a plastic priapism in the first place.
Not particularly aggressive, though. Is the bull’s name Ferdinand?
Time to mock this with cruel satire? To extend a joke I heard about back in the 70’s, how about such super “heroes” as The Golden Shower, The Obstinate Gleet, and The Viral Load?