Friday Ephemera (675)
You may grip your chair arms now. || Competitive urination. || I believe it’s called spite. || A brief, salty guide to the French Revolution. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Five historical figures who were assassinated in the lavatory. || Somewhat related. || The thrill of rubber. || The thrill of rubber 2. || Ruminations on the TARDIS doors. || Don’t fuck with grandpa. || “Best pizza of life.” || Opera patrons who find Mozart “traumatic” are advised to squeeze their toes. || Mansplaining periods. || “It made so much sense.” || When you’ve been severely educated. || A discovery is made. || Man wants truck not on lawn off his lawn. || And it was going so well. || Today’s word is girth. (NSFW) || They live on your face. || Stand back, a baby is happening. || And finally, I’m guessing it’s not her first rodeo.
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Bless you, sir. When driving on narrow country lanes, may you never be stuck behind a motorist who regards the speed limit as something to avoid at all times and by the widest possible margin.
Hammers and dollies for repairing/shaping sheet metal e.g., as in auto body work. The joke in the tweet is panel beating.
Actually, and in all seriousness, I find that video dismally tragic.
That she appears to be quite attractive leads with alarming rapidity to the likelihood that this is a young person damaged beyond repair despite her tender age.
I simply cannot believe she would date, much less get such an obviously suicidally stupid tattoo, unless there were some very serious issues going on in her childhood and early life.
What’s clear is that this is a young woman on a course of self-destruction.
What’s not so clear is, metaphorically speaking, pushed the button that set her on that course.
I would be curious to see what the typical results do look like.
I have a seriously old urology text from back when such procedures were almost always only done for reconstruction, and the results haven’t changed though individual sizes will. The other question is whether they tell that the donor skin retains its characteristics, so if from the forearm, unless it was previously permanently depilitated, it will either have to be after, or shaved. There is a porn name there even I won’t stoop to.
You will own nothing. And you will be happy. Or else.
Nice. Those panels often need beating.
Thank you very much for enlightening me.
Gene Wolfe on English roads:
Theoretically, with technology improvements over the years, the process and end results should have improved. But if this is the “improvement” it is absurd. It is one thing to take a man and turn him into someone with a front hole. Granted he’s highly unlikely to have anything approaching a normal sexual experience but he might have something one could squint real hard, close one eye, stand on your head and lie to yourself that the sex life could at least resemble something normal. This thing looks like something a child, granted a severely traumatized child, would draw if asked. Even putting the far greater complications of attempting to recreate a male-like anatomy aside, just visually this is a joke.
When we do such horrible things to a man, well whatever. He’s someone with problems anyway and problems + testosterone ain’t a good combination so…society as a whole isn’t much worse off if at all on a physical level. Doing this absurdity to a woman however is literally a crime against humanity and nature itself…granted if she is a developmentally physically mature woman, less of a concern. But either way, she will not be receiving anything close to what has been sold to her. And she’s likely not the one financially paying for it.
Theoretically, with technology improvements over the years, the process and end results should have improved.
The fundamental problem is that you can’t make something out of nothing, specifically all the internal structures of a penis for which there are inadequate female analogues so all you wind up with is a flesh tube. Similarly if one had a penectomy and reconstruction for cancer or irreparable damage, the structures are gone so you wind up with a flesh tube.
To make a Potemkinpenis “functional” for anything other than urinating requires insertion of some sort of prostheses to mimic an erection. I would imagine there are enough people here that collectively we could design a more aesthetic prosthesis to be used as a framework or scaffolding around which a more realistic Potemkinpenis is built not unlike the experiments they did with ears using mice (in an Island of Dr. Moreau sort of way).
We could call it the “Thompson Johnson™” and we will all become famous and fabulously wealthy.
Everyone would want one.
Also, Potemkinpenis.
My recommendation for this boy: A prison sentence, with a warning that any further offense will be punished by death.
Frankenpenis: if you google Phalloplasty images, you can see that one can get a sort of approximation of a dick. However, not particularly sensitive, no erection (without biomechanics?) and thus not good for sex, and no ejaculation or orgasm. It is also a pretty major surgery to undergo if one starts out female, just to look at in the mirror. ugh
Not to…umm…beat…a dead horse but I have an incredibly
harddifficult time trying to understand the thought processes on this. By anyone. As I was alluding to above, for MtF the basic end functionality of the engineering, putting aside the nerves/feeling/pleasure factor is there. But a FtM penis? How could one imagine that sort of a conversion working sexually even approximately? Forgive me for this but it would be bloody obviously far less risky and yet have a similar end effect to just leave everything alone and wear a strap-on. Peeing through a tube is just not that big of a deal. That any of this FtM process even exists is an absurdity.It is if you want to be able to write your own name in the snow.
How could one imagine that sort of a conversion working sexually even approximately?
Depending upon the procedure the clitoris may be relocated to the base of the Potemkinpenis and theoretically a clitoral orgasm can occur.
If the surgeon is a male a female surgeon will be brought in if assistance is needed in locating the clitoris.
So you are correct, it is basically an adjustable rigidity permanently attached strapon (ARPAS).
If urinating while standing is a big deal, there are already many devices which can be had by hitting David’s Amazon link. One could even write in the snow with one.
Writing pronouns is probably a higher priority.
Relevant to the present conversation, not at all, son, not at all.
People brought up with Ctrl-Z and Undo buttons: “Can I have my penis back now?”
Won’t you say a prayer for this poor lad who was not just misgendered, but brutally misgendered?
Meanwhile in North Carolina, I can’t possibly see why this guy who has spent so much emotional labor has employment difficulties.
Fred (IVth), I think you should just go and stand on Zanzibar
Ed, I’m too busy Looking Up.
Despite the pouting and claims of being oppressed at every turn, examples of actual gratuitous unpleasantness are oddly thin on the ground. Perhaps we’re supposed to accept the premise as self-evident. Just as we’re supposed to assume that the fact some racial minorities are likely to live in urban areas, away from national parks, and then choose not to visit those parks, somehow constitutes nefarious exclusion at the hands of the White Devil.
In fact, the most noteworthy example of obnoxious behaviour, indulged in persistently and triumphantly – booming out loud dance music in the middle of a national park, a nature reserve – is by one of the people invoking racial victimhood: “Why should I turn off my music?” asks Mr Adeyemi. Because the scenery and peace, and the sense of escape from urban concerns and the noises of modernity, will somehow be enhanced by lots of whumpa-whumpa-whumpa. To object, even to look askance, is racist apparently.
The level of pretending and evasion that these articles require – the number of thoughts that have to be carefully avoided – is, as we’ve seen, quite remarkable.
This thread is getting very baaad.
Will also be enhanced by lots of “spurious” littering.
Do you all feel culturally enriched?
Imagine the levels of contrivance and obliviousness required to think that Mr Adeyemi’s attitude – utter selfishness – will somehow invite sympathy.
The author of the piece, Ms Natalie Morris, is of course a Guardian contributor.
Where is Tywin Lannister on the list of assasinated figures?
And FYI, Game Of Thrones was a documentary.
…obnoxious behaviour, indulged in persistently and triumphantly…
The territory marking is escalating from girls with BAs writing heartfelt Guardian columns about how a white looked at her funny in her hijab to a more masculine urban style of provoking “situations where a White person’s normal behaviour could be held against them with an implicit accusation of being anti-Black”.
This isn’t the last we’ll hear of it. It’s only a matter of time before a farmer drives one of these groups off his land with a shotgun. When the phone video of the incident is “contextualized” in the New York Times (there will be a phone video and it will be international news), the contextualization won’t be that farmers have been brandishing shotguns at white urban galoots since the railway introduced Sunday outings for thruppence in 1885, it will be about the sinister specter of nooses and pitchforks, and that this is why the indigenous people of Great Britain shouldn’t be allowed to have even a square mile where they set and enforce their own norms. Our friends in groups like “Heroically Hiking Hindus” will then have the nice salaries and conference trips they think they deserve.
Are Hindu immigrants a problem? What I’ve read seems to nearly always involve Muslims and Africans.