Friday Ephemera (675)
You may grip your chair arms now. || Competitive urination. || I believe it’s called spite. || A brief, salty guide to the French Revolution. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Five historical figures who were assassinated in the lavatory. || Somewhat related. || The thrill of rubber. || The thrill of rubber 2. || Ruminations on the TARDIS doors. || Don’t fuck with grandpa. || “Best pizza of life.” || Opera patrons who find Mozart “traumatic” are advised to squeeze their toes. || Mansplaining periods. || “It made so much sense.” || When you’ve been severely educated. || A discovery is made. || Man wants truck not on lawn off his lawn. || And it was going so well. || Today’s word is girth. (NSFW) || They live on your face. || Stand back, a baby is happening. || And finally, I’m guessing it’s not her first rodeo.
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The night that Clint Eastwood turned into Dirty Harry
Student prank in Montana
Student prank in Illinois
I’m not sure if we should mock the EU, the Belgians, or American beer.
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Somewhat related.
Bookmarked for when 8 year old grandson is around next.
Will also forward to the nephew.
There’s even a 24-hour crisis helpline…
Another adventure in public transportation.
Morning, all.
Given the pronounced overlap of wokeness, neuroticism and farce, I suppose it was inevitable.
Though it occurs to me that putting a full-page trigger warning in the programme is somewhat redundant as the thing that will allegedly induce hyperventilation and fear of impending death – romantic Mounties in slightly comedic situations – has already been shown in the adverts and posters for the event. Doubtless causing random passers-by to start sweating and trembling.
Student prank in Montana
Top stuff.
Met a lovely bloke from Montana, mid afternoon, in a Christchurch pub around 1998. He was a dozer/grader driver from down on “The Ice” (Antarctic). Looked after the runway. Got sent up for a couple of weeks leave because he was feeling a bit crook, which is apparently what they do as a precaution to reduce the risk of everybody getting the pox.
“Don’t fuck with grandpa.”
Wow!
His garbage, your problem.
French Revolution
I’m rather taken by the Mauritian concept of a “Ministry of Culture and Fisheries”.
He feels it should be illegal.
True Romance
[ Slides down left side of bell curve, going wheee. ]
Somewhat related.
Clever, but can you do it without the keyboard?
That’s some serious nerding.
Well, yes. But it does address the size mismatch and general disconnection of the interior and exterior doors. (Or the interior and exterior views of what may be the same doors.) A porch seems the obvious solution, visually. I suppose you could just invoke some dimensional hand-waving, but it’s one of those details I remember noticing as a child.
With a rocking chair for a more elderly Doctor?
“Daleks a comin. I can feel it in my bones.”
Well, I have seen far too many Mounties singing the Lumberjack Song…
Preferable to recent iterations, I should think. But with or without the chunky interior doors?
Link is broken already.
[ Eye twitches. Has flashback to every bloody Thursday evening, when checking each link in the scheduled Ephemera posts, only to discover that Reddit’s moderators have been busy. ]
Not an unfair point.
Dudley Do-Right, Corporal Renfrew, or Benton Fraser?
But it does address the size mismatch
Isn’t that the point about the Tardis, the contrast between inside and outside?
the contrast between inside and outside
I should have said disconnect
I’m now browsing one of several TARDIS wikis to brush up on the doors. Sorry, the real-world interface.
This is not how I planned to spend my afternoon.
There’s a connection between those swimming tummy periods and those babies being born…people know that, right….oh never mind…..
Also advised to “take a walk”. I guess not seeing one’s imaginary trauma avoids the imaginary trauma, but it doesn’t seem like a good use of one’s theatre budget.
Meanwhile in other theatre news, a short trip to Princeton NJ and you can see “To All The Babies I’ve Killed Before”, a lighthearted romp exploring…
…according to the description which also, “…directs readers to a Planned Parenthood website to find local abortion facilities in New Jersey.”
If that isn’t a fun evening, I don’t know what is.
mansplaining periods: The uterus develops a blood-filled lining to be ready for egg implantation. If no pregnancy, the uterus needs to get rid of that, thus cramping and bleeding. No uterus, no period. Period. Most actual women would say periods and bleeding are the worst thing about being female (even worse than wearing a bra). These twits want to emulate it? urgh
Student prank: 50 yrs ago, my roommate painted a 3 ft tall door on the wall under the stairs where the ceiling was only 4 ft high. 2 yrs later I went back to that dorm and it was still there.
I doubt if pranks are a thing much anymore.
At least she didn’t say “neuro-divergent”. Be thankful for small favors.
Really? The theater world seems to be dominated by gays and leftists.
“Daleks a comin. I can feel it in my bones”
Jelly Babies for all…
“The theater world seems to be dominated by gays “
Oh goody – show tunes, anyone?
*Ooooooo klahoma….*
Destroying beer: 1) beauracrats tend to by metaphor challenged. 2) Europe has a tradition of protectionism. In the middle ages, guilds like the masons or metal workers petitioned the king for a special dispensation which meant you could not do that trade unless a member of the guild. They limited membership to keep wages high. In exchange, the guild paid a fee every year directly to the king. Much easier and more dependable for the king than collecting taxes. Champagne can only be made from grapes grown in the Champagne region of France (according to the french). Anything else is just sparkling wine.
Halfway through the French Revolution. 🙂
Mengelian.
All of the above.
Question asked.
Is there a pool on how long it will be before he abandons her?
Sorcery.
mansplaining periods…No uterus, no period. Period.
It is not mansplaining so much as troonsplaining by guys who have no grasp whatsoever about the anatomy or physiology, e.g., the bozo in the linked video and “smooth lined muscle” (of which there is no such thing), but who will grasp at anything to “affirm” their “womanhood”.
There is smooth muscle, and the middle layer of a uterus is smooth muscle, but it is also in all viscera, hollow organs, arteries, veins, and a host of other places. If a woman has period pain other than the lower pelvis, it is referred pain* because of shared nerve pathways with other structures.
Second factor is that Potemkinwomen are on constant levels of estrogen or other “replacement” hormones. During menstruation, however, FSH and estrogen are at their lowest levels in women and rise to ovulation after which progesterone rises and estrogen tapers some.
The interesting bit is that both estrogen and progesterone relax smooth muscle which is not surprising because if there is an implanted ovum it would be counterproductive not to relax where it is, and why if not implanted, the levels fall and the cycle starts again.
During pregnancy, however, the levels increase and been shown to be related to some of the GI problems some women have during pregnancy such as decreased gastric motility, decreased gallbladder function and other things related to hormone related smooth muscle function.
I hate to burst their bubble, but even if they took estrogen and progesterone precisely titrated to mimic a woman’s levels, yep, no uterus, no period. Period.
*(e.g., a bad gall bladder often is felt in the right shoulder)
You know, for some reason – and I’m sure it will come to me – I’m not convinced that his perceptions are entirely reliable.
Historical trivia: Back before pop-top cans, Miller’s marketing slogan was “The champagne of bottled beers”.
You know, for some reason – and I’m sure it will come to me – I’m not convinced that his perceptions are entirely reliable.
Yeah, but the smooth muscle thing has been a recurrent theme that by some arcane and Byzantine process not known to science or alchemy every month their smooth muscle goes into spasms despite that not being how anything works.
I suppose that if they took high enough levels of estrogen for only 21 days that could in some cases slow their GI tract down and with the cessation of estrogen the next week put it into overdrive to clear the blockage, as it were, but constipation cramps are still not a “period”.
Update on how that “defund the police” policy is working out.
And this is not a penis. And the person to whom it’s been attached is not a man.
Yet here we are.
Potemkinwomen
Oooo… saving that for future use!
this is not a penis: oh shit I wish there was an “unsee” feature in the brain. How can a doc in good faith do such a thing?
Re Block by Block… I don’t get it. Why does the person think that these people were going to do anything? Anything at all? Is the grade school safety patrol belt thingy supposed to grant the wearers some kind of super powers? Didn’t do much for me back in the day. Barely had any effect on the second graders.
I’m not convinced that his perceptions are entirely reliable.
The current logic is that maladjusted gatecrashers are more reliable witnesses than well-adjusted invitees.
The maladjusted obsess not only about themselves but about how well the well-adjusted have it. That’s categorized as broadmindedness, and not as envy or covetousness.
The well-adjusted can sometimes get through a whole day just living their lives and not thinking about the maladjusted. This is categorized as privilege, which might not be a sin in itself, but it is a sin if having been told about their privilege they fail to “do the work”, which means obsessing over the maladjusted as much as the maladjusted obsess over them.
Uninformed law enforcers standing around doing nothing while criminal acts take place.
I’m glad that doesn’t happen over here.
Doh…my comment re Block by Block is in reference to Darlene’s post:
The Hippocratic Oath may not be dead, but it is gravely ill.
Over the course of his reign, His Majesty pledges for the YouKay…
*(e.g., a bad gall bladder often is felt in the right shoulder)
Been there, got the t-shirt, no longer have the gallbladder as of yesterday.
“Keyhole surgery”- for whoever came up with that bollocks of a misnomer, I’ve got news for you. When I arrive home and the front door is locked, I open it by use of a key; I do not go “full D’Artagnan” and start attacking the door using a selection of stilettos and rapiers that would have made MacHeath himself salivate in anticipation. I had basically consented to be stabbed in the torso four times…
The Hippocratic Oath may not be dead, but it is gravely ill.
My class was divided into two camps, those of us who wanted to do the Oath of Hippocrates and those who wanted to do the Declaration of Geneva. The rationale of the latter camp was pearl clutching over things like swearing to Greek gods and not “giving a pessary to induce abortion” and totally failing to understand the fundamental principle of even swearing to the Oath of Hippocrates.
The Declaration of Geneva is a watered down Hippocratic Oath ginned up by a group called the World Medical Association in 1947 and has been changed six times depending on the prevailing winds.
For example, the version half my class took said:
It also deleted a statement about respecting human life from the time of conception that had been in the original.
Now (2017) it says:
Imagine that. Little wonder that there are current docs who think “gender, gender identity…sexual orientation” means free rein to do anything.
Krill meat is now being sold in supermarkets.
And it’s being hyped as a “superfood”. [ Rolls eyes. ]
We’re getting closer to the plankton burgers that appeared in 60’s dystopian sf.
That.
“Keyhole surgery”- for whoever came up with that bollocks of a misnomer,
Compared to the old way…
How many people who argue ever so passionately about this have ever seen the FtM results? I get all the warnings about looking at such things but honestly, so long as I remind myself before looking that what it is is definitely not a man, I actually find that almost comical. I suppose I should be ashamed to say such a thing. But after much reflection, I’m not. I do feel very badly for the poor female who allowed this to be done to her. She had a mental problem and no one was willing or able to address that. That indeed is tragic. But think of all the other people involved here. Not just the doctor(s) who performed the procedure, but the nurses, the administrators, the clinic or associated hospital involved, the psychiatrists and psychologists involved. All her “supportive” friends and relatives. All those people honestly expect the rest of us to just accept this end result as a good thing. And by extension, even many people whom I know. Friends (well sort of…once). I doubt I’m alone in the latter. It’s like the final punch line of a Simpson’s or South Park episode. I have the (unnatural?) desire to shove that picture into my friends’ and others’ faces to witness the result. I’m just afraid I would be hard pressed to contain my laughter at their reactions. But hey, after the last half-dozen or so years I’ve grown used to being the bad guy.
Institutional neuroticism.
How can a doc in good faith do such a thing?
Money?
We’re getting closer to the plankton burgers that appeared in 60’s dystopian sf.
And Spongebob–the Krabby Patty.
Given the pronounced overlap of wokeness, neuroticism and farce, I suppose it was inevitable.
In all fairness, the RCMP have pretty much gone full-on Stasi.
Student prank in Montana
There’s an old joke about a Cambridge student who cited a centuries-old bylaw that in any exam longer than two hours, an undergraduate could “request and require cakes and ale” for sustenance, and did so successfully. Two weeks later he was summoned to the Dean’s office and fined five pounds for failing to wear his sword to the exam.
it’s one of those details I remember noticing as a child
I suppose it’s because by 14 I was doing backstage theater tech and stagehanding, but my reaction to Doctor Who was generally “errrr, that’s quite the shite set design budget, isn’t it” rather than trying to reconcile the inconsistencies. I also don’t care where the Enterprise bridge crew poops.
Europe has a tradition of protectionism
It’s only a trebuchet if it was made in the Trebuch region of France. Everything else is just a sparkling catapult.
Institutional neuroticism.
Reminder again that less than 4% of the population of Canada is black. Less than the Indian population (dot or feather).
Institutional neuroticism.
Indeed, and from supposedly educated people.
I’m not sure that statement could be any more racist than if it were written by a clan member. The position itself starts as the textbook definition of racism; that blacks are all the same based on their immutable characteristic of being black. Has he met any black people? As if Hutus and Tutsis are loving brothers; as if an African American and an Ethiopean have anything in common; as if Blacks from the Caribbean are culturally similar to Black Africans.
The absurdities that flow from these people based on ignorant, racist stereotypes has my irony compass constantly pointing north. It reminds me of the man in the street interviews of big city eastern white liberals who believe that american blacks aren’t capable of finding the DMV to get an ID or using the internet, ipso facto, voter laws are racist.
Sparkling: for launching vampires into the enemy castle?
A classic. Master class pranking.
I don’t own enough collections of such stories.
Hot damn! You get a cookie!
Oh, touche! Except we’re not fencing. But still. Grapes can grow on a fence though.
I thought you were going finally going to reveal what you did with the dough. Still pretty darn cool though.
I’m just off to sign a new act, a Jim Morrison tribute act to be called “Chunky Interior Doors”
A mess of pottage must be out of style.
Bad news for the International Hurling Society.
In further clownworld news, presumably if a moppet identifies as an attack helicopter, the headmaster should get a big ‘H’ painted on the shool playground forthwith…
Some ruminations on bobs.
Trebuchets.
I faintly recall a story towards the end of the intermittently entertaining series Northern Exposure where Chris the DJ built a trebuchet in order to launch a cow, or was it a piano?
Either way the justification was that this constituted “art” and when compared to some examples which have graced this site it arguably did.
As I’m sure I’ve said before, I find the premise of Doctor Who more interesting than the execution, the supposedly finished episodes, which veer from so-so to hilariously terrible.
Proper workplace email grammar is important.
From that Daily Mail article ([…] if a moppet identifies as an attack helicopter […]):
The truth is no defense.
I am not sure they can “take back” what wasn’t theirs to begin with.
For the enjoyment and inclusion of everyone, I guess.
“Exclusion” I guess means just not getting off your forth point of contact and doing something radical like going to the countryside.
Seriously, everyone enjoys litter and rap being blasted, so why the complaints?
Be sure to read the bits about “Colonialism in the Countryside” because Brits colonized Great Britain, or something. Also some boilerplate whinging how someone else should pay for their gear and outings.
Seriously, is anyone in all the UK stopping anyone from going to a national park?
Ah, but the script must be regurgitated, seemingly wholesale, at regular intervals.
I always write it s-apostrophe. For the sake of ALL. But I’m rather inclusive that way. My parents raised me more properly than most people.
Furries in school: my coworker’s son seriously at 4 wanted to grow up to be a front-end loader. Should we make him a cyborg? Where did reality go? I still can’t get the image of the fake penis out of my mind.
No true Scotsman…sorry, it had to be said.
Are you aware of the new leader of the ruling Scottish National Party (SNP)?
Heh. I suppose I should have been but not until now. How that slipped under my radar…
Think of it as an homage to pale bologna. In its natural casing of course. That help you any?
Krill meat is now being sold in supermarkets.
What about the whales? Starvation time for them.
Think of it as an homage to pale bologna.
Thank the gods it’s not a blutwurst
I should put that in the brochure.
I would be curious to see what the typical results do look like. Do the doctors/butchers involved in these surgeries show their victims pictures of what their past “successful” outcomes looked like? Seems they should have been able, even required, to provide the victims some sort of idea on what to expect based on previous real world results. Call me what you will but…Looking past the obvious carnage, based on the very limited visibility otherwise, that poor young woman appeared likely to have had a nice shape to her.
Re Frankenweiner.
Is there any scope for expanding the definition of organ donors?
Alternately maybe they could be lab grown giving a whole new meaning to the term “stem cells”.
I’m just trying to help.
Cleveland Texas, population 7500, median household income $24K, briefly in the news this weekend for an assault rifle mass shooting where it’s turning out not to be a white MAGA guy which the media could make interesting but a case of vibrant cultural fusion which the media is going to make boring. Depressing town, last notable thing that happened there was another case of vibrant cultural fusion.
That did occur to me.
Apropos of nothing in particular, I recommend this book:
“Catapult: Harry and I Build a Siege Weapon” by Jim Paul.
A literal, funded, art project resulting in a weapon of (retail) destruction.
Trigger warning: May contain the phrase “boobs and wangers”.
Krillburgers: but what if I don’t want to live in a John Brunner novel from the late 60s?
Via Ace, when to speak up. I have not read the two Chinese ladies this podcast references but I hope to shortly.
Off Topic: Okay, I’ll bite: What are these tools?
Heh.
[ Tickles tip jar in such a way that it will tickle in a regular, if albeit modest, way ]