Friday Ephemera
I’m sensing a theme. || Today’s word is entrepreneur. || God’s power detected. || Party scenes. || “What happens if you put your head in a particle accelerator?” || For hiding stains. || “The Indiana Bell Telephone Company headquarters was moved 15 inches an hour, all while 600 employees still worked inside.” || Marketing of note. (h/t, Julia) || In crime news. || Tense negotiation. || Now, now, we mustn’t judge. || Today’s other word is literally. She’s an educator, you know. || Beast identified. (h/t, Damian) || And yet you want one. || Alien On Stage. || Just like normal people. || Eruption, from above. || There’s a time and a place for everything. (h/t, Darleen) || And finally, in feminist news, shots fired.
I’m sensing a theme. || Today’s word is entrepreneur. || God’s power detected.
Oh SMOD, hear our prayers.
I’m sensing a them
Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope (etc.)
Marketing of note.
The Duke of Oil quick oilchanges. But we’ll never see a fast food establishment called Allah Snackbar.
shots fired.
…and they all missed.
But we’ll never see a fast food establishment called Allah Snackbar.
Or a dive called Sam ‘n’ Ellas.
Apropos: “If violent crime is to be curbed, it is only the intended victim who can do it. The felon does not fear the police, and he fears neither judge nor jury. Therefore what he must be taught to fear is his victim.”
– Lt. Col. Jeff Cooper, USMC
Future Darwin Award winners.
And that lady in the purple coat walks right by without so much as a glance!
The felon does not fear the police, and he fears neither judge nor jury
Unpossible. I was assured that if we fed all convicted criminals into woodchippers no one would commit any crimes.
“What happens if you put your head in a particle accelerator?”
The canonical answer is you either get superspeed or breathtaking anger management issues.
We mustn’t judge
Well another Easter weekend ruined…
Why am I not surprised? “New evidence introduced in the criminal case against the father & son in Georgia accused of murdering Ahmaud Arbery show that Arbery had a history of claiming to be a jogger to cover for criminal activities.” He’d still be alive, and committing crimes, if he hadn’t gone for the man’s gun.
“In crime news.”
Nice to see at least the neighbour’s boyfiend hasn’t been emasculated: ““She ran back into the bedroom and screamed to her boyfriend that there was someone in the flat.
“He immediately jumped out of bed and ran into the hallway and ran up to the intruder and punched him to the head causing the defendant to fall to the floor.””
A little surprised the cops didn’t immediately arrest him as well, mind you.
Oh SMOD, hear our prayers.
The pinnacle of evolution on planet Earth.
Morning, all.
I’m sensing a them
Band name.
A little surprised the cops didn’t immediately arrest him as well, mind you.
Well, that’s sort of the problem, isn’t it? There’s a widespread feeling among the law-abiding that morally normal self-defence, even against nocturnal intruders in one’s home, is extremely hazardous, not only for the obvious reasons, but in terms of legal consequences, or imagined consequences.
Not a happy situation.
“Mars Petcare has launched a new catfood brand made exclusively from insects. Called Lovebug, it is a dry catfood made from black soldier fly larvae insect meal, as well as ‘essential nutrients such as amino acids’ and a vegan coating. It is the first 100% insect-based cat food to be launched by a major supplier in the UK”
https://www.thegrocer.co.uk/new-product-development/mars-petcare-launches-lovebug-dry-catfood-made-from-insects/654695.article
Called Lovebug, it is a dry catfood made from black soldier fly larvae insect meal, as well as ‘essential nutrients such as amino acids’ and a vegan coating.
I imagine the human version – same product, different packaging – will be arriving shortly.
’ I imagine the human version – same product, different packaging – will be arriving shortly.’
You asked, they answered:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0950329320303888?dgcid=rss_sd_all
Store selling old furniture – “A Shack of Sit” – it actually exists.
Mars Petcare has launched a new catfood brand made exclusively from insects.
On the one hand, having marveled at the lengths the silly goofballs will go through to catch and eat bugs, I don’t think they would mind.
OTOH, if the “essential nutrients” aren’t being made by petrochemical based Science & Industry™, they are coming from real animals, but in either case, neither would be Earth Friendly™ and the fact that the base ingredient is an animal rather negates the whole “vegan” coating nonsense (we’ll ignore that the main reasons cats eat plants is out of boredom, or to throw up…)
Well, that’s sort of the problem, isn’t it? There’s a widespread feeling among the law-abiding that morally normal self-defence, even against nocturnal intruders in one’s home, is extremely hazardous, not only for the obvious reasons, but in terms of legal consequences
Perhaps it should become hazardous to punish self-defense. Parasites should be treated as parasites, not as fellow citizens.
You asked, they answered:
It’s almost as if there is a conspiracy among scientists to manipulate the populace into eating bugs, riding bicycles, and living in hovels.
…a conspiracy among scientists to manipulate the populace into eating bugs, riding bicycles…
Not just scientists, politicians, like our Transportation Secretary setting the example.
I see Sheffield Hallam University* is still hiring the best.
While carefully sidestepping practical suggestions, things he might actually do to answer his own question, Dr Olusoga, our senior lecturer, is claiming that the only possible explanations for differences in outcome by race are (1), “racism,” and (2), “structural racism.” (And not, say, rates of diabetes and consequent complications in pregnancy, which vary by race, and vary enormously.)
He’s an intellectual, you see.
[ *Locals laugh. ]
Unpossible. I was assured that if we fed all convicted criminals into woodchippers no one would commit any crimes.
I hope nobody here subscribes to the Steady State Theory of Crime whereby criminals are spontaneously created when the density of crime becomes too low.
Not just scientists, politicians, like our Transportation Secretary setting the example.
It’s as if these Deeply Caring People want to create the technocratic nightmare of Bladerunner.
…hiring the best.
Ashkenazi Jews are more likely to have Tay-Sachs disease than “White” British, blacks are more likely to have sickle cell trait and disease (though there is evidence it protects from malaria, so they are ahead on points for that one), polio is still endemic in Pakistan.
Genetic predisposition and health conditions in country of origin, nahhh, racism.
If Moses came down from Sinai on a motorcycle with Jesus on the handlebars and Mohammed in a side car shouting “It’s Not Racist” through a megaphone, this guy would still claim any reply is racist. The BFO is that if he didn’t, he’d be out of a job.
The BFO is that if he didn’t, he’d be out of a job.
And it’s not just the chap’s habit of question-begging and his seeming inability to consider obvious possible variables, even as starting points. It’s the fact that his bad faith is hard to miss – note the sudden evasiveness, dismissiveness and lack of interest when practical solutions are offered, along with readily available evidence. Our senior lecturer evidently wishes to continue calling people racist without good cause. Presumably, as you say, that’s where the funding and status are. In his world, at least.
I stuck my head in a particle accelerator once. It instantly tripled my IQ to 105.
Party scenes.
They’re going to need to crack a window after that one.
I’m sensing a theme.
So apparently fat, dumb, and stupid is away to go through life. Not that this is news based on prior evidence as well.
I would really like to see the right drive home the absurdity of this equity BS by pressing the issue as to why NBA players like LeBron are not subsidizing the WNBA such that the salaries are equal. But no one on the right will do this. Because losing just feels right.
https://mobile.twitter.com/shadalaiyan/status/1296487284691304449
Did someone mention. LeBron?
I have a cousin who posted this. Now me not being a UK football fan, can someone explain the specific thing that is funny here? Is it because of the tiny little emblem for “Arsenal” on his jersey because Arsenal fans are notoriously sexist and think that the way women dress invites sexual abuse or is it meant to be much more ironic/funny because of the much larger Fly Emirates advert?
https://youtu.be/JO-HI1hGcpM
https://fb.watch/4CYFgBd35H/
can someone explain the specific thing that is funny here?
It’s BBC comedy. It’s not meant to be funny. I think you’re supposed to just nod.
But wouldn’t it be funnier and more ironic if the guy wearing the Fly Emirates shirt was actually an Arab? More proper even. This white guy is culturally appropriating.
Also, this being the BBC as you say, where are the persons of color (or as dear old Mom would say, colored people)? Why has the BBC eliminated them from the corporate boardroom and other roles here? Why are they only employing white actors in these roles? Also, trann…never mind.
It’s BBC comedy. It’s not meant to be funny.
A friend of mine in the 2000’s used to say about SNL, “It’s ‘art’ comedy. You’re not supposed to laugh.”
the persons of color (or as dear old Mom would say, colored people)
From 1988:
It instantly tripled my IQ to 105.
This must be very difficult to live with, as a marmot.
“It’s ‘art’ comedy. You’re not supposed to laugh.”
Also applies to The New Yorker. There are two collections by New Yorker artists of panels “rejected” by the magazine. They’re far funnier than the vast majority in the magazine.
(Despite looking for “rejected New Yorker cartoons”, this one seems to be the only one I could find actually in “The Rejection Collection”)
Nazi escapes prison because he’s transgender:
“A federal judge declined to impose prison time Wednesday on a former member of a neo-Nazi ring that threatened journalists… U.S. District Judge John C. Coughenour in Seattle agreed during a virtual court hearing Wednesday, sentencing Parker-Dipeppe to time served after Parker-Dipeppe tearfully apologized for his actions. Coughenour said he struggled with his decision because he was mindful of the fear and suffering such harassment can instill. But he added: ‘None of us have suffered the difficult situation this defendant has endured as a result of his gender identity confusion. … Enough’s enough.’
If you’re a woke lib, this is a real brain-teaser. On one hand, Taylor Parker-Dipeppe is a transgender man and therefore you can’t criticize him for any reason. On the other hand, Taylor Parker-Dipeppe is a neo-Nazi and therefore you can’t defend him for any reason.”
And since that was a federal district judge, enjoy this pastiche of the Turtles’ song “Forever”. (Found via The Volokh Conspiracy):
Imagine me as God, I do
I think about it day and night
It feels so right
to be a federal district judge,
and know that i’m
appointed forever
I was anointed by
the president
and revelation told him I
was heaven-sent
And congress in their wisdom gran-
ted their consent
Appointed Forever
CHO:
I’m a federal judge and I’m smarter than you
For all my life
I can do whatever I want to do
For all my life
Bring to me
discovery
no matter what the issue is
I guarantee
Somebody will be sanctioned as
the penalty
and there’ll be no error
CHO: My decision’s cannot be questioned by you
I’m always right
And my wise discretion is never abused
For all my life
Think of me as royalty
When you appear before me fall
upon your knees
All-knowing and omnipotent
its nice to be
Appointed forever
Even at
the very worst
if you decide to take me up
to get reversed
you’ll have to get the circuit court
to hear you first
and that takes forever
Appointed forever …
Further to recent rumblings about woke Marvel, Doomcock has some industry gossip.
Oh dear.
“The Indiana Bell Telephone Company headquarters was moved 15 inches an hour, all while 600 employees still worked inside.”
I wonder if we could even do this today. The precision was remarkable. Hand cranked jacks. A steam engine. A curved walkway and ramp precisely built and positioned. Uninterrupted supply of all utilities. Amazing.
Unpossible. I was assured that if we fed all convicted criminals into woodchippers no one would commit any crimes.
We can be pretty certain the ones fed into woodchipperse won’t commit any more crimes.
Littering, maybe.
We can be pretty certain the ones fed into woodchipperse won’t commit any more crimes.
Well, rehabilitation programs have a poor track record, so the only practical ways to reduce crime are to somehow remove habitual criminals from society.
Well this bloke won’t need a ‘rehabilitation program’:
“Noah Green has been identified as the suspect in a US Capitol security threat today, sending it into lockdown shortly after 1pm after a car rammed into two police officers at one of the complex’s security barriers.
The 25-year-old driver then emerged from the vehicle with a “clearly visible” knife, Acting Capitol Police Chief Yogananda Pittman told reporters in Washington.
Mr Green “did not respond to verbal commands”, and then started “lunging” and “running towards” police officers, at which point they shot him.
The New York Post reports that Mr Green described himself as a “Follower of Farrakhan” on his Facebook page, in reference to Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan.”
I assume we will shortly be regaled with stories about Mr. Green being a ‘white plant’. When are the riots, sorry protests, scheduled to begin?
I believe that even you would be able to agree that such an action would ensure that there would be no repeated crimes from said pureed individuals.
It amuses me the responses from the regular commenters, this being a blog that routinely posts news items about habitual criminals who remain mercifully free of the ravages of police attention.
Me, a pragmatist: The punishments for tax evasion are severe, but lots of people cheat on their taxes anyway because they don’t think they’ll get caught.
“Conservatives”: Yes. This is self-evident and simply human nature.
Me, a pragmatist: The punishments for violent crime are severe, but lots of people commit violent crimes anyway because they don’t think they’ll get caught.
“Conservatives”: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Doomcock has some industry gossip.
LOL. Hope that’s true.
Hope that’s true.
As explained previously, the race-baiting activist writing the thing had successfully repelled any interest on my part, and so I didn’t watch the series and cancelled my subscription. But I did see the scenes in question on YouTube. Again, they were every bit as ham-fisted and gratuitous as I’d expected. I doubt I’m alone in finding the grafted-on woke politics to be grating and obnoxious, and rather insulting.
Somewhat related, it looks like we’ll be spared the prospect of Ava DuVernay’s New Gods film. Warners have, it seems, belatedly realised that it wasn’t a great idea to entrust a sprawling and expensive potential franchise to a woman of very limited talent – a woman who openly disdains conservative voters and calls Trump a “white supremacist,” and who threatens to discriminate against white employees. The project has now, I gather, been cancelled.
Where did he go?
Also from the Ace of Spades blog’s ONT WTF: Something for David.
Something for David.
All the style points.
Again, they were every bit as ham-fisted and gratuitous as I’d expected.
When ideologues are in charge, ham-fisted stupidity is inevitable.
From a review of “Bitter Waters: Life and Work in Stalin’s Russia”:
High-level Party officials visited, wanting to know the reasons for the factory’s success. They were not satisfied with the simple truth–“we repaired the boiler, put the equipment in order, gave the workers a chance to earn a bit more”–but wanted to recast the success in terms of the catch-phrases of the time–“socialist methods,” or “shock work tactics and competition.” The Party was particularly disturbed that there could be a factory hitting almost 200% of target without any identified Stakhanovites (heroic workers of extraordinary productivity–named after Alexis Stakhanov, a coal miner who once produced 102 tons in a single shift.) Neposedov was told that he’d better find some Stakhanovites and publicize their achievements. This was problematic since the production records were only at the group/shift level. but four workers were duly selected and stories about them were run in the district newspaper–even though there was nothing particularly exceptional about their performance.
Alternate link to the original review.
Theodore Dalrymple reads a professor’s book asking the musical question “What’s so funny about human extinction?” Hilarity ensues.
“Where did he go?”
Last seen scrambling off a rubber dinghy on a beach near Dover.
All the style points.
Why not shooting sixgun out window?
While we’re on the subject of ideologues who ruin everything (is there any other kind?) do you remember when, back in the 90’s, radical feminists started demanding “affirmative consent” rules? A new book, Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent, argues against these rules but I am pretty confident that it will not make any points which were not raised back in the 90’s (raised by people who feminists denounced as protectors of rapists.) Given the degraded state of today’s intellectual class, I would not be surprised if it fails to make various obvious points against those rules.
Theodore Dalrymple reads a professor’s book asking the musical question “What’s so funny about human extinction?” Hilarity ensues.
Dalrymple writes:
Open the book at any page and you will find passages that startle by their polysyllabic meaninglessness
combined with the utmost crudity. By chance, I opened the book to page 144 and my eye fell on the following:
The multiplicity of becoming-cunt as an assemblage reassembles the tensors upon which it
expresses force and by which force is expressed upon its various planes and dimensions.
I have known deteriorated schizophrenic patients to speak more sensibly and coherently than this.
It’s Vogon scholarship.
Gloomy thought: Remember the postmodern left’s assault on science, reason, and truth in the Science Wars of the 1990’s? At the time I naively thought that the numerous refutations of the left’s bullshit were sufficient to settle the issue, but they were not: The left never stopped promulgating these lies because it did not care about truth and because it controlled the universities and so was immune from consequences.
All the style points.
I half expected the camera to pull out to show us an R-C truck driving through a miniature neighbourhood set.
Good to know that if you need a heart transplant the surgeons can just use a kidney, a doctor tells us.
Whole hot mess here.
Alternate link to the original review.
Thank you for that. It’s an interesting read.
This bit from the review brought to mind Obama famously telling us “You didn’t build that.”
Thank you for that. It’s an interesting read.
I entirely agree about Obama. He is a lowlife who never accomplished anything good himself, but who has existed parasitically upon a civilization that he despises.
Chicago Boyz is a treasure of the internet.
Theodore Dalrymple reads a professor’s book asking the musical question “What’s so funny about human extinction?” Hilarity ensues.
Uma, reading Taki’s Magazine is a Class X felony in the eyes of the left, so we can expect to meet someday in a gulag.
Whole hot mess here.
I’ll see your hot mess and raise it by this.
Good to know that if you need a heart transplant the surgeons can just use a kidney, a doctor tells us.
The tweeter is Devon Price: “Author of ‘Laziness Does Not Exist’, Social Psychologist, Trans-effeminate, Autistic. Dr. Devon Price is a social psychologist, writer, activist, and professor at Loyola University of Chicago’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies. Price’s work has appeared in numerous publications such as Slate, The Rumpus, NPR, and HuffPost and has been featured on the front page of Medium numerous times. They live in Chicago, Illinois.”
Autistic. Trans-effeminate. Why am I not surprised?
At the time I naively thought that the numerous refutations of the left’s bullshit were sufficient to settle the issue, but they were not: The left never stopped promulgating these lies because it did not care about truth and because it controlled the universities and so was immune from consequences.
Good thing you were naive about such things. Imagine if you weren’t and you spoke up about them, even questioned them privately with your doctor. He might suggest that you were overly concerned about silly people who should not be taken seriously. After expressing these concerns and even expanding the scope of them to the point that you began seeing their effects showing up in your workplace, he might have even suggested that you should consider medication.
Good thing you were naive about such things. Imagine if you weren’t and you spoke up about them…
I did earn enmity by mentioning them to “friends”.
The woke teacher has apparently never met any actual children. In the real world, children do not want band-aids that match their own skin color. They want brightly colored band-aids decorated with pictures of the Avengers, SpongeBob, or Harley Quinn.
An interesting type of pragmatist who appears to believe that no-one at all is deterred by severe punishments.
This is independent of how much power the state has and who gets to decide guilt and innocence.
They want brightly colored band-aids decorated with pictures of the Avengers, SpongeBob, or Harley Quinn.
They want band-aids that will be seen, above all else.
Not unlike [flipping pages backwards] self-proclaimed “Trans-effeminate Autistics”.
pst:
Reading “the week that perished” is a comforting ritual on my Sunday mornings.
(That Gulag could be more crowded than we suspect).
The woke teacher has apparently never met any actual children. In the real world, children do not want band-aids that match their own skin color. They want brightly colored band-aids decorated with pictures of the Avengers, SpongeBob, or Harley Quinn.
I wonder if it ever occurred to the teacher that the availability of a product depends on the size of its market: If she were to travel to Malaysia or Ghana the band aid colors would reflect the local population. But such facts get in the way of her indignation.
An interesting type of pragmatist who appears to believe that no-one at all is deterred by severe punishments.
I believe it is true that criminals are deterred much more by the likelihood of getting caught than by the severity of the punishment, but nonetheless the severity of the punishment does have some deterrent value. But the importance of the likelihood of being caught (and punished–never forget the problem of courts which release criminals without any punishment) reminds us of the effectiveness of Broken Windows policing. And, of course, we must never forget that chief purpose of prisons is to prevent crime by locking up the criminals. Deterrence is the second purpose.
Damn those white women and their racist
[flips cards]
… diets.
David, you have mentioned Michel Foucault in the past. Did you see the article in the Sunday Times about how Foucault sexually abused very young boys, and how many knew about this but said nothing? Foucault’s deeply depraved life sheds light on his career-long efforts to undermine all decent standards of law and morality.
More here.
More details possibly here but I have not gotten past the paywall.
Damn those white women and their racist … [flips cards] … diets.
Does that explain why so many random attacks on Asians are committed by black people? 😉
They want brightly colored band-aids decorated with pictures of the Avengers, SpongeBob, or Harley Quinn.
This was mentioned herein previously along with the note that the recommended use of Ninja Turtle band-aids was right out because the names of the Ninja Turtles, being dead yte male artists, was racist, so that must be borne in mind for the selection of any cartoon band-aid especially SpongeBob who is a “violent racist”.
Of course the obvious solution of buying clear band-aids, which cost the same as “flesh” ones, and can be had at damn near any store wouldn’t allow Little Missy Woke to be outraged, so that is right out also.
So…I’m confused…are we saying that we COULD deter criminal behavior by the use of band aids that do not match the skin color of the offender? Why hasn’t anyone looked into this before?
BTW…Band name: Aids
What? Too soon?
Seems there’s a downside to having an identity that’s entirely performative. Without an audience, you don’t exist.
Seems there’s a downside to having an identity that’s entirely performative.
Related.
Your body is you, it’s not an array of objects “for” any purpose. And dividing up one’s body mentally into tiny discrete parts is a huge contributor to self-objectification.
It seems to me that belief in purposefulness is a barrier against self-objectification. It entails that your body is something more than a blank canvas for your unconstrained free will, and that your free will has better things to strive for than using your body as a canvas.
And I’m suspicious about the concern with self-objectification, given that you don’t have to dig very deep into the tranny thought process to find that they perceive self-objectification to be a feature and not a bug.
Recommended rehabilitation method for these criminals: Lead. Arsonists should be shot on sight. Arson on an occupied home or vehicle? Shoot them twice.
Shoot them twice.
SWAT teams shot suspect with 68 bullets: After Angilo Freeland executed a sheriff’s deputy, SWAT officers tracked him down and killed him with over five dozen bullets. Asked why they shot him so many times, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd replied “That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more”.
Fair nuff. Problem solved.
you don’t have to dig very deep into the tranny thought process
It was easier to get along with trannies when there were no demands that I publicly celebrate their “identities”.
pst314: anent your earlier post about federal judges’ life tenure, it was intended to immunize them from some levels of outside influence on their decisions. Contra, of course, the situation of state-level judges who are voted on by the constituents most likely to be affected by their rulings. Some time ago my practice took me to a variety of largely rural jurisdictions; in one the district judge who was amiable and matter-of-fact though not exactly noted for his scholarship, had a sign on his desk reading, matter-of-factly enough, “Often overruled, Always re-elected.”
pst314: anent your earlier post about federal judges’ life tenure, it was intended to immunize them from some levels of outside influence on their decisions.
Understood. But I couldn’t resist posting that song because it’s just so perfectly funny. (The Bar and Grill Singers have a nice repertoire of law-oriented pastiches of popular songs.)
Nice anecdote, too.
And yes, I vastly enjoyed the song: not familiar with the source but will definitely look them up.
Humble ‘merican request for context. I thought at first it was an armored car (for transporting money) the guys in the ski masks were pelting with suspiciously ready-to-hand molotov cocktails, but then the camera panned to a burning car, so I’m guessing the motive isn’t normal larceny?
It was easier to get along with trannies when there were no demands that I publicly celebrate their “identities”.
Oh, we’re way past that. Now you have to date them. You see, we have to celebrate that they can’t help who they identify as and who they’re attracted to; but, as David has pointed out, there is no reciprocity. Or as James Lindsay puts it, the asymmetry is intentional. You transphobe you.
And yes, I vastly enjoyed the song: not familiar with the source but will definitely look them up.
“Justice is blind, not tone deaf.”
Longest Time
The Jury Sleeps Upright.
It’s In His Briefs
you don’t have to dig very deep into the tranny thought processes
There are thought processes which are more unpleasant to dig into: black Americans and white leftists.
Damn. Now those are GREAT. Wish they’d been around when I was practicing.
And now that I’m in a reminiscing mood (Always dangerous) I will preface with the warning that this requires some lengthy backstory, so feel free to just Move On.
In my early days of trial work it was widely acknowledged that one county in the state was its premiere legal snakepit — and not nice snakes either. Everyone had horror stories about practicing there, and half of those stories originated with one lawyer family — and of those probably two thirds involved the family patriarch. The whole batch were universally agreed to be barking mad, but the Old Man was in a class all his own. Some of this is factual, a matter of federal record; the Rest of The Story came to me second-hand, I freely admit, but knowing both the venue and the Old Man, I believe it absolutely.
Late in his career, after his shenanigans apparently invited some level of federal scrutiny, an IRS agent showed up at his one-man office, armed with a subpoena for certain of his tax-related records. The Old Man took umbrage, and refuge behind his desk, announcing (apparently under the impression that this was some Government version of Tag, that he hadn’t been served because the agent hadn’t actually placed the subpoena in this hands, IRS agents, notoriously humorless, dropped the paperwork on his desk, reminded him of the due date, and turned to go. At which point the Old Man, probably in his 90s, nipped out, ran up and kneed the agent from behind.
Demonstrating his own void in humor, the IRS agent (a thought rumpled but not noticeably damaged) swore out a warrant for assault on a federal officer. After lengthy criminal proceedings enlivened by the Old Man’s somewhat whimsical views of the law, he was duly convicted, but in light of his advanced years there was no custodial sentence involved. So much for historical fact.
Shortly thereafter the County Bar had its monthly meeting (formally informal as usual) and as part of New Business some (unrelated) lunatic stood to move that in light of his federal conviction the Bar should formally strip the Old Man of his membership in that august association.
There was a moment of silence while the assembly, fully aware of their group reputation throughout the state, not to mention the Old Man’s long and storied history, considered this proposition. Then, in the back of the room, someone (forever nameless) rose in response to remark that the Association was welcome to do what it wanted, but that he, personally, thought it a damned shame to go throwing the Old Man out for the only decent thing he’d ever done in his life.
Motion failed.
Motion failed.
I laughed out loud.
The only times that I’ve believed the severity of punishment should be reduced were due to the side-effects of criminals realizing that after doing horrible thing “A” that the punishment for follow on horrible thing “B” is no greater.
Case in point: rape.
As a young lad, I firmly believed that forcible rape deserved the death penalty. I happen to still think that crime deserves death (assuming that it was proven beyond “a shadow of doubt”, with all the entailed complications of that requirement), but I eventually realized that if there is no difference in punishment between “rape” and “rape followed by murder”, there would be absolutely no reason to leave a witness (the rape victim) alive. I happen to believe that most people who knew the victim (yes, I can think of cultures that would disagree) would really prefer the rape victim to be alive versus a corpse.
Not all criminals are fools without a thought to the future. I’ll just point out that it is much easier for our police forces to catch those fools versus those that plan ahead a bit. (My wife and I used to watch Investigation Discovery before we nuked our cable subscription; we noticed that most of the cases involved utter idiot criminals.)
For the record, I happen to believe that I could have inserted the phrase “I happen to…” a few more times with a tiny bit of effort.
:-/
There were giants in the earth in those days…