Parenting Pronouns Or Else

A Big, Hairy Princess

November 20, 2024 by David 127 Comments

As a measure of where we are, culturally – and of the levels of pretending currently expected – this rather captures something: 

The mother of a young girl in British Columbia, Canada, is speaking out after a man in a pink, sparkly bikini – adorned with sparkles, frills and princess tiaras – was found showering in the female changing room of her local public pool. After reporting the man’s presence, she was told that the facility “welcomes and celebrates diversity.”

How terribly modern. How fashionably unhinged.

Angie Tyrrell of Saanich, BC… recounts she had brought her daughter, who was 10 at the time, and her daughter’s friend, who was 11, for a playdate at the pool, where she watched them from the sidelines. After the girls were done, Tyrrell waited for them in the bathroom area of the female changing room.

Moments later, the two girls returned, hurriedly, explaining in whispered tones that, “There was a man in the shower with us.” Ms Tyrrell promptly told the girls to get changed in a toilet stall, where privacy of a sort might be maintained.

Soon after, the man entered the bathroom area. Tyrrell witnessed a teenage girl with her top off immediately cover herself and flee into a toilet stall upon spotting him. There were numerous women and children in the room, and Tyrrell noted that they all instantly appeared to become uncomfortable and moved to hurriedly get dressed and disperse.

Tyrrell says the man, who was muscular and had a hairy chest and back, was wearing what appeared to be a pink child-like bikini, which was adorned with princess tiaras, sparkles, and frills.

Naturally enough,

After the girls were finished changing, Tyrrell approached the reception desk to alert staff that a male was in the female change room. 

However,

Tyrrell [said] staff were dismissive, even when she stated: “He’s wearing a child’s bikini, but he’s definitely a man.”

Unhappy about the front desk’s dismissal of her concerns, Ms Tyrrell contacted the pool’s management via email, resulting in some unexpected confusion:

Bree Dobler, the assistant manager of the facility, responded to Tyrrell in an email signed with “she/her” pronouns. In her first reply, Dobler didn’t appear to understand the problem, and seemed to simply believe there was a concern about the man’s bikini.

Presumably, on grounds that no-one, but no-one, could possibly object to a big, hairy, very male pervert lurking in a changing room intended for women and girls. So, obviously, it must be something else. Some kind of fashion issue.

Ms Dobler was keen to remind Ms Tyrrell and other unnerved ladies that the pool does provide the option of “single stall washrooms or changerooms for patrons… [who] want to maintain more privacy.” In other words, women and girls who would rather not shower in front of big, hairy perverts can always retreat and surrender territory to the aforementioned big, hairy perverts.

Women and girls, you see, being a lower priority.

It’s the progressive pecking order.

Know your place, ladies.

At which point, Ms Tyrrell, now somewhat incredulous, replied with a not unreasonable question:

Why should all of the women – who the women’s change facility is for – have to leave to accommodate a man?

This, however, prompted a more chiding response from the pool’s management, with Ms Dobler boasting, “We are proud to have a Diversity in Changerooms Policy in our centres,” and adding that patrons are welcome to use showers and changing facilities “where they feel most safe.” The ironies of this statement apparently passing undetected.

“Everyone’s gender identity and expressions are valid,” Ms Dobler insisted. “Our goal is to create an inclusive environment where everyone feels respected and valued.”

Readers will note that the word everyone is rather heavy with connotations and does not seem to include women and girls who aren’t overly keen on the intimate proximity of big, creepy men. Even if those big, creepy men are wearing sparkly bikinis intended for children.

If the above should be insufficiently surreal, do read the rest over at Reduxx.

Update, via the comments:

Aitch notes Ms Dobler’s gratuitous pronouns and quips,

First clue.

The ostentatious declaration of pronouns does, I think, communicate more than is perhaps realised. Sort of, I will happily pretend not to see the most glaring realities and obvious contradictions, and therefore cannot be relied upon.

Something along those lines.

Or simply, will lie.

Regarding the seeming obliviousness, the glib piety, of those inviting men into women-only spaces – and the kinds of men to whom such opportunities might appeal – Dicentra adds,

I don’t know if they genuinely don’t know or haven’t thought of it, or if they wouldn’t care if they did know.

Which brought to mind this recent illustration of the same phenomenon, in which obtuseness blurs into practised dishonesty:

I imagine much of his difficulty lies in the need to be seen holding fashionable and therefore statusful opinions, as determined by his peer group, and the illogical nature of the opinions currently in fashion. He wants to be seen as being “inclusive,” as he puts it, even though the consequent position is fundamentally incoherent.

And so we get the pinhead dance. According to which, cross-dressing men have every right to enter women’s changing rooms, and women who object can… er, choose not to use them. Or choose to flee, provided they do it politely. So as not to cause offence.

We must, it seems, be sensitive. Albeit unilaterally.

Again, the progressive pecking order. Adherence to which entails pretending one doesn’t know any number of rather obvious things.

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