The Giant Testicles Told Me
Jonathan Kay shares the, um, joys of fully intersectional Canadian television:
The taxpayer-funded media colossus known as the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has unveiled a new show called Lido TV, in which a pair of talking tomatoes (they look like testicles, but apparently they’re supposed to be vegetables) deliver woke sermons to whoever is so unfortunate as to hit the play button… After video clips from this self-parodic mess went viral, it emerged that Lido’s production company has been bankrolled in the high-five figures (at least) by public funds. Your (Canadian) tax dollars at work.
Viewers of pallor will doubtless be entranced by 20-minute episodes titled Colonialism and Privilege, and stern lectures – delivered by the host, singer Lido Pimienta, and two giant, talking testicles – on just how bigoted and generally awful their collective ancestors were, and how this historical beastliness is, “like, affecting all of us, all of the time, on every level.” Likewise, viewers unpolluted by pallor will be empowered and destined to flourish, armed with the knowledge that any failure or shortcoming in their lives, almost any resentment, can be traced back to, and promptly blamed on, the aforementioned colonialism, privilege, and pale devilry.
The boggling awfulness of the project – applauded by Maclean’s as “subversive” and “surrealist political edutainment,” the work of a “polymath” – isn’t easy to convey in words. Happily, clips are available. And yes, an entire episode. If your idea of a good time includes pretentious displays of indigenous authenticity, rambling, barely relevant interviews, and excruciating sketches about land acknowledgement, this is the one for you.
Update, via the comments:
When performing onstage, Ms Pimienta is known for instructing her audiences to self-segregate by race in an implicit hierarchy of victimhood. Presumably, on grounds that random white people – the ones paying for tickets and good seats – should move to the back of the venue and be made to feel like the demon oppressors they are, if only in Ms Pimienta’s unsavoury imaginings. Those who would rather not are, inevitably, themselves accused of racism. Which may give some hint as to the values of Lido TV, and the kinds of moral instruction on offer.
Should any doubt remain as to Ms Pimienta’s charming disposition, let’s leave the last words to her:
Do you really think I care what white people think at this point?
As a taxpayer, I demand reparations.
The series is described, by the broadcaster’s marketing department, as “insightful” and “fantastically funny.”
“A new kind of variety show”
An unfunny one?
An unfunny one?
The political content is as unrelenting as it is rote and predictable, but what’s striking, I think, is the utter failure of the supposedly offbeat comedy. The delusions of political sass. Even when the target is deserved – say, pretentious land acknowledgments – the sketches are dead on arrival, utterly laboured, and scarcely less pretentious and self-satisfied than the thing being targeted.
NGL – I clicked on the link to see testicles.
Six weeks after being uploaded, the trailer for the series has managed to attract just over 2,000 views, some of which may be the result of less-than-favourable coverage, and which suggests that, despite the taxpayer funding, and despite the claim that the show “dexterously explores themes of colonialism, beauty, and feminism,” an audience of any size has yet to be found.
Why are the talking
testiclestomatoes white flesh coloured? Are they supposed to be dumb white devils?[ Slides fancy cocktail along bar to Mags. ]
By the way, as mentioned in the previous thread, I’ve been thinking about adding alternatives to PayPal for those who have issues with the PayPal service. Suggestions welcome.
an audience of any size has yet to be found
So far so CBC, then.
I’m not sure how to describe the CBC to American viewers. The BBC routinely produces content that’s quite entertaining (deliberately, I mean) so it’s not a good analogy. I suppose the best analog would be if NPR and PBS merged and were run by the CPUSA with $20 billion dollars of taxpayer money, and still managed to produce nothing anyone wanted to watch.
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/music/the-globes-artist-of-the-year-lido-pimienta/article37397421/
What Canada needs is to be more like Latin America. Who better to ask than people from failed Latin American countries who’ve voted with their feet to migrate to Canada. Let’s sit at their feet while they tell us about the moral failures of Canadians.
The schema isn’t so complex in practice – indigenous good, settlers bad, immigrants good. Even when the inds or the imms are bad, the settlers and their descendants have it coming to them. In practice, two out of the three sentences “[Indigenous|settlers|immigrants] built this country and we should be grateful to them and respectful of the traditions carried on by their descendants” are conventional “who we are” values, and one of the sentences is Problematic and Hateful.
I’m reminded of the stale pale Joni Mitchell pensively and politely, but effectively, scolding an unruly crowd at the 1970 Isle of Wight Festival, by saying that they were acting like a bunch of tourists at an indigenous ceremony. And it’s interesting that even 50+ years ago a progressive white crowd could be shamed into silence by being told that their whooping and hollering wasn’t authentic like indigenous whooping and hollering.
Ms Pimienta is, I gather, known for instructing her audiences to self-segregate by race, in an implicit hierarchy of shame. Presumably on grounds that random white people – the ones paying for tickets – should move to the back of the venue and be made to feel like the demon oppressors they are, if only in Ms Pimienta’s farcical imaginings.
So, lovely woman. And not racist at all. No sir-ee.
Resentment is easy to stir up and hard to extinguish. Young black men are full of resentment but mostly based on myths–that white people are simply given good jobs, that cops arrest them for no reason, that they can never get a job. All the while they are living the thug life.
The idea that one should be punished for what your ancestors did is pernicious and insane. Every group in history has done very bad things. It was African slavers who captured the slaves, after all. Should blacks be punished now for all the crimes their ancestors committed? No? Why not? Never in history has a people fought a war to free the slaves, tried to help them in their freedom (40 acres and a mule–though in the end subverted), passed laws to end discrimination, and given trillions in financial assistance like the US has. But it is useful to grifters to keep the flames of resentment alive.
An unfunny one?
Unfunny seems to be part of the templet. If you’re not willing to pretend it’s entertaining, you’re just not a good person. And once you’re invested in propagating small lie (this is entertainment), the next lie will come easier.
Take up the White man’s burden —
And reap his old reward:
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard —
The cry of hosts ye humour
Perhaps it is time to reacquaint ourselves with admiration for truth so plainly spoken.
If it was on CBC then almost no one saw it. A few of the producer’s family — who probably didn’t enjoy it — and not many others.
David, this article in Business News Daily lists a few alternatives to PayPal but it might be more suitable for online businesses rather than blogs.
The best advice seems to be to empty your PP account rapidly before they steal your money.
this article in Business News Daily lists a few alternatives to PayPal
Thanks.
To be clear, I’m not planning to ditch PayPal. But I think it might be wise to offer an alternative, or alternatives, in addition.
By the way, as mentioned in the previous thread, I’ve been thinking about adding alternatives to PayPal for those who have issues with the PayPal service.
Sadly I am more ignorant of PayPal alternatives than I am of rappers, but for some reason I’ve been leery of PayPal from way back when internet commerce was young. The recent Typepad outages combined with PayPal’s shutting down of the FSU and others made me hesitate to hit the Heavens a Button I Wonder What It Does the last time it popped up. I prefer to donate via getting some Amazon shopping in – things I need or want, and there is a list – but these days receiving the stuff is a crapshoot. I don’t have much to spare, but I would like to support this blog on occasion, and it would torque me off to no end to find I have supported PayPal instead.
these days receiving the stuff is a crapshoot.
I’ve an Amazon delivery anecdote – based on recent events – but I think I’ll hang on to it until the next fundraiser. It has the makings of a blessing.
Daniel, I was about to object that “How It’s Made” was a watchable CBC production, but caution forced me to look it up. Nope, some outfit called Productions MAJ did them.
Ccscientist,
“punished for what your ancestors did” is bad, but there’s a superficially plausible argument in there. Namely that, through you may be personally ok, your success is founded on the racist privileges and oppression of your ancestors and culture. And therefore you and your culture have a moral obligation to repair that situation via equity measures, reparations, etc.
I am a little sympathetic to that argument. But…In practice, it has a pernicious effect on the people it is supposedly intended to help. As so many have pointed out, telling a group that their problems are the result of previous generations of other groups bad actions, is not a recipe for cultural or personal improvement. And Of course the argument has been stretched to say things like “whiteness is inherently evil”, which is pure racism, motivated by a desire to suppress debate, a simple power play.
Namely that, through you may be personally ok, your success is founded on the racist privileges and oppression of your ancestors and culture. And therefore you and your culture have a moral obligation to repair that situation via equity measures, reparations, etc.
Reparations paid by those who victimized no one to those who were never victimized.
We grew some black tomatoes this tear. Just sayin’
but these days receiving the stuff is a crapshoot.
The latest scam is the “free” delivery arriving at the post office with postage due. That and our FatEx delivery guy leaving packages in the rain because he can’t be bothered to haul his fatitudenous self up one flight of steps to leave the package on the porch under some cover. Oddly, the ever-fit UPS guys have no problem doing so.
The best advice seems to be to empty your PP account rapidly before they steal your money.
They can – and under the memory-holed TOS, will – take it from any connected accounts as well. Like your bank account or credit card. Best to shut down your PayPal account entirely.
Reparations: While in theory a group may have benefitted from the bad things their ancestors did, in any particular case it is dubious. My parents, for example, never got any inheritance, had to put themselves through college, and sent money home as soon as they got work. Where is their inherited advantage? In addition, many whites came to the US after slavery ended. Many blacks have white blood. It is impossible to untangle.
I’ve an Amazon delivery anecdote – based on recent events…
Apropos?
Reparations paid by those who victimized no one to those who were never victimized.
This.
My question to those on the reparations side of the argument is how far back in time does this stuff have to go? Am I owed reparations today from the Norwegians and the Italians because the Vikings raped and pillaged and captured some of my ancestors, or because the Romans enslaved the others? Do the Egyptians owe the Jews anything?
And why is it that the Jews, the Celts, the Anglo Saxons (or whoever were inhabiting the areas around Londinium in the Roman Empire times), and the Germanic peoples all have been enslaved in the past, and yet today are quite successful?
And the land acknowledgements – Europeans are evil because they conquered land from XYZ Tribe, who conquered it from ABC Tribe, who slaughtered all of the PQR Tribe and took their land, and on and on throughout history. Doesn’t matter what continent you look at in the past, they all have the same progression. Slavery too, except for some tribes like the Yaqui who just killed everyone they conquered because they couldn’t be arsed to manage slaves.
The world didn’t begin in 1619, and black Africans aren’t the only people to have been enslaved in history. They may be the most recent, and in a time where global exploration and communication were taking off, but they aren’t unique, and they aren’t special for it. And it would do them a world of good if everyone would stop trying to baby them and make excuses for them. Frederick Douglass said it best:
Europeans are evil because they conquered land from XYZ Tribe, who conquered it from ABC Tribe, who slaughtered all of the PQR Tribe and took their land
Not to mention the tribes who got their land because of their association with their European conquerors. Where I live, the Mohawks (who are not indigenous to the area) were granted their lands by the Crown to compensate them for their support during the American Revolution when the Americans ran them off their land. The Crown actually purchased the land from the Mississaugas of the Credit (as in paid for it, they would pay for it a second time many years later). The Mohawks and Mississaugas were traditionally enemies, so it took some negotiating from the Crown to get the Mississaugas to accept the deal. Interestingly, the Mohawks are the ones who make the biggest stink about land claims.
In the Western Hemisphere, I would like to understand how these “land claims” worked prior to the arrival of the white man. Did the first tribe to cross the Bering Strait have claim to the entirety of both continents immediately at that point? If not, how are later tribes’ claims different from those of Europeans, etc. who arrived in boats crossing the Atlantic? Shouldn’t we ALL be required to leave and give it the hemisphere back to the mastodons? I mean after we regenerate them from DNA samples, of course.
Wasn’t defeating the giant Testicles one of the episodes in the Odyssey after Odysseus defeated Spectacles, the ally of Polyphemus, and got past the Sirens with the aid of Audiophiles?
Testiclesplaining.
Assisted by a Venezuelan colonialist.
ComputerLabRat and WTP: you use that evil “history” to make your arguments. Can’t have that. We are in year zero, remember.
If you look at the Magna Carta, on the back, next to the mead stain, it says how our tax dollars must be used by a government department to created gigantic talking testicles to lecture us on immigration.
Ms Pimienta is known for instructing her audiences to self-segregate by race in an implicit hierarchy of victimhood. Presumably, on grounds that random white people – the ones paying for tickets and good seats – should move to the back of the venue and be made to feel like the demon oppressors they are, if only in Ms Pimienta’s unsavoury imaginings.
She’s an ‘activist’, so her racism doesn’t count.
She’s an ‘activist’, so her racism doesn’t count.
Again, you have to wonder how long a, shall we say, normal person, i.e., a non-racially-neurotic person, can spend in such an environment before realising that there’s something rather obnoxious about it. About the assumptions and fixations that underpin it, the endless pretensions, and which are displayed as if they were self-evident virtues.
Somewhat related.
I am a little sympathetic to that argument.
You shouldn’t be, as it is trivially dismissed by pointing out that the same ancestors and culture contributed significantly to the greatest successes in history against and reductions of not only exactly that decried privilege and oppression, but many other forms of them as well, to the benefit of all.
The argument necessarily presumes that there existed a golden age of natural innocence and peace and equality from which the human world decayed to the criticized conditions. The truth is, if anything, the utter opposite. The curve’s average has been consistently upwards from greater and worse degradation and enslavement of every kind imaginable to our current world of previously inconceivable riches and power and self-determination.
The degree to which you are sympathetic to that pseudo-argument is a good measure of both the degree of your own refusal to acknowledge the positive credits due for all the time, attention, wealth, and literally lives poured out in opposition to prejudice, discrimination, tyranny, and actual genocide, and furthermore the degree to which you should not be taken seriously as an intellectually responsible adult.
Your ‘sympathy’ towards these grifters’ gaslighting con games is an ignorant insult towards the literal millions who literally gave their lives in creating the world of peace and prosperity and freedom that we share today.
with the aid of Audiophiles
Pronounced aw-dee-OH-fa-lees, of course.
Your ‘sympathy’ towards these grifters’ gaslighting con games is an ignorant insult…
I think you are reading more into Fred’s comment than he actually meant.
[ Sits back and waits for the fireworks when Fred returns. ]
Pronounced aw-dee-OH-fa-lees, of course.
Of course, some say that Homer was a pseudonym of Euripides, after all.
with the aid of Audiophiles
Pronounced aw-dee-OH-fa-lees, of course.
One of my complaints/regrets about high school English is the failure of the teachers to explain the proper pronunciation of foreign names, especially Greek ones, as well as occasional confusions of the Greek and Roman gods. (In Homer’s Odyssey, the goddess Dawn is Eos, not Aurora, which is beautifully illustrated by the triple internal rhyme of “roditos dactylos Eos” (“rosy fingered Dawn”) ). But then, Tolkien was not always as helpful as he should have been, as illustrated by his failure to tell readers the correct pronunciation of various Dwarf names (Oin and Gloin do not rhyme with “groin”, dammit.)
Euripides the tailor?
Was the tailor not Eumenides?
[ Fetches hose. ]
[ Dons Captain Nemo’s diving suit. ]
Euripides the tailor?
PopEye the tailorman
[ Dons Captain Nemo’s diving suit. ]
I don’t object to you borrowing it, but please, next time, make sure I’m not wearing it first. That was a very, um, uncomfortable experience.
That was a very, um, uncomfortable experience.
If anyone scores a hot date via these threads, there will be a handling charge.
Was the tailor not Eumenides?
Meh. I let my mother keep track of that stuff for me but even she surrendered at Fort Tensky.
Euripides the tailor?
Euripides the Phyrigian, a minor eunuch at the court of Penelope who always got a major third degree when he was mistaken for the Lydian eunuch Sanstesticles who claimed he was what these days would be called “trans”, but back then in Lydia, a Mixolydian.
And you can learn a lot from Lydia!
I haven’t even made coffee this morning. Can’t you folks stay out of trouble for five minutes at a time?
Thanks to Rick Beato, I even know (well, sort of) what Midlothian is. ( mixolydian. Thank you autocorrect. No one knows what a Midlothian is…)
[ Adds Acksiom to the list of people who don’t take me seriously. Surveys list. Sighs. Wonders if it’s too early to request the key to the upstairs hot tub. Face brightens upon realizing it’s late afternoon in the tub’s timezone. ]
pst, my high school French teacher was an irascible Czech. (Poor bastard, had to suffer through the teen years of four of the five Fourth siblings.) He made a scene at a faculty meeting by stating that the English faculty owed him part of their pay, since he had to teach us basic grammar before he could teach French or German.
The things I remember about the English faculty include 1) a Failure to realize that some words can be nouns or verbs, and 2) a Failure to realize that statutory rape was a crime. Expecting them to teach Greek or Latin pronunciation would have been a bridge too far. Probably a bridge on the moon.
I haven’t even made coffee this morning. Can’t you folks stay out of trouble for five minutes at a time?
he had to teach us basic grammar before he could teach French or German.
My supposedly upper-tier grade school did a rather mediocre job of teaching grammar, and only one of my high school English teachers taught it at all. My foreign language teachers filled in some of what the English teachers neglected.
I have wondered about the average intelligence and aptitude of English teachers and English majors. See my complaints above. See also the English majors I have personally known (not mentioned here) who failed to impress me with their intelligence.
he had to teach us basic grammar before he could teach French or German
I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, probably more than once, my long-suffering German teacher, who was astonished to discover that he had to spend almost half of every lesson teaching basic English grammar to his A-stream students before any German could be taught. He was a rather stern chap, quite forbidding, but in hindsight deserving of more respect than most of his peers.
A-stream students
As in A-level? As in top-tier students destined for university and Great Things?
I have sometimes speculated that the chief cause was that English teachers didn’t want to spend time teaching grammar because it was boring.
As in A-level? As in top-tier students destined for university and Great Things?
Yes. And who had little idea of what the components of their own language are called, or any formal knowledge of how those components generally fit together.
I have sometimes speculated that the chief cause was that English teachers didn’t want to spend time teaching grammar because it was boring.
Entirely possible. But in our case, it was also objected to – by educators – on grounds that such things were inegalitarian.
(Damn. Lost my long response in the Typepad swamp.)
Thanks to those who responded to my “a little sympathy” comment above. Living where I do, I’m faced with it daily. It’s helpful to get extra counterargument added to my arsenal.
Also, I have a spare dive suit. Never used, actually. Is there room in the cloakroom?
Also, I have a spare dive suit. Never used, actually. Is there room in the cloakroom?
Sure. Just don’t use it in the hot tub.
[ Returns from inspecting the hot tub. ]
On second thought, a dive suit might be prudent until David has it properly cleaned.
[ Frowns significantly in Fred’s direction. ]
And what’s with these bikini tops that were tossed in the corner?
Hey, those are ours!
Say please.
[ Nails bikinis above the bar. ]
[ Awaits aesthetic verdict from David. A tasteful embellishment, yes? ]
A tasteful embellishment, yes?
While driving past some farms on the outskirts of town, we did once see a bra nailed to a tree.
[ Rummages in phone’s photo archive. ]
There we go.
There we go.
Unless it was placed there as a warning to naked sunbathers, the way farmers would nail hawks to barn doors.
Unless it was placed there as a warning to naked sunbathers,
I do feel there must be some kind of story behind it.
A sordid story that appeals to our basest instincts.
Indulging one’s basest instincts is sinful. But that’s alright because, as Stephen Maturin says, “Without sin there can be no forgiveness.”
Most ski resorts, at least on this side of the pond though I think I saw one in Italy once, have a bra-tree under a lift heading to one of the blacker runs that also accumulates Mardis Gras beads and the occasional pair of panties.
—
Typepad is doing that annoying early timeout thing again…
There we go.
And for some reason the image is now gone.