Unhappy Camper
My whole life, I had struggled with patterns of behaviour and emotion that I knew were “bad,” but couldn’t seem to control. I lied compulsively about things that didn’t make sense. I was terrified of being abandoned, to the point that I became furiously, sometimes abusively, upset if I thought that my friends were hanging out without me. I was full of self-loathing and anger that I bottled up, and then released by self-injuring.
Yes, we’re visiting the pages of Everyday Feminism. How could you tell?
And, of course, I had grown up as a closeted trans girl of colour in a cis, white supremacist society.
So far, so humdrum.
Ever since I could remember, I had been filled with rage and fear and self-loathing as a result of the constant messages that society, friends, and family sent me that said I was deviant, bad, wrong to the core.
A chronic rage that, we’re told, prompted some introspection, of a sort, and a peek inside a textbook on abnormal psychology:
My “symptoms” fit the profile of a mental disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder, a condition closely associated with psychopathy. It was, the textbook said, historically considered untreatable.
Oh, I’m sure lashings of strident feminism and identitarian seething will put that right in no time. No? The author of this cheerless tale, Ms Kai Cheng Thom, a “trans woman writer, poet and performance artist based in Montreal,” then goes on to bemoan the fact that “disorders like violent psychopathy” are “generally considered unlikeable,” possibly hazardous, “even in social circles that consider themselves progressive.” And that, while the public at large may be sympathetic towards people suffering clinical depression, “compassion for psychopaths, pathological liars, or narcissists” is, inexplicably, harder to come by. It’s all terribly unfair. Because incorrigible monsters bent on the manipulation and harm of others have feelings too:
It makes sense to manipulate others into giving you love when you’ve never been able to get it any other way.
And,
Sometimes I wonder, where is the “illness” really — is it the people whose psychological and physical suffering causes them to react with rage, fear, and yes, sometimes violence to the traumatising effects of an oppressive society? Or is it society that is sick?
And,
Violence is the symptom of a system that is larger than individual people.
At which point, readers may wish to bear in mind that those inclined to habitual manipulation, violence and dishonesty do tend to displace responsibility for their behaviour onto others, onto “society,” pretty much anywhere else. It’s kind of what they do. An image that comes to mind is of an abusive partner leaning in close and whispering, “Don’t make me hurt you, baby. You know I hate doing that.”
Still, our poet and performance artist insists that something must be done:
Rejection of those we deem too aggressive to function in mainstream society is not a good enough answer.
Well. Fixing the “traumatising effects” of an allegedly oppressive “white supremacist society” – one that’s insufficiently accommodating of violent and abusive personalities – sounds like a rather grand and time-consuming project. On a practical level, and at risk of sounding unsympathetic, it’s much easier to simply avoid the company of violent and manipulative shits and pathological liars. Indeed, offering “empathy and support” to such people and being drawn into their dramas, as we’re being asked to do, seems a recipe for exploitation, abuse and most likely regret. And asking for such sounds an awful lot like bait.
When not sharing the splendours of her poetry and performance art, which can be savoured here and here, Ms Kai Cheng Thom is, of course, a social worker and an aspiring therapist.
I spoil you, I really do.
How could you tell?
Snork. Tip jar hit.
And, of course, I had grown up as a closeted trans girl of colour in a cis, white supremacist society.
She should have taken her chances in a country not ruled by white men.
So it’s my fault she/he is a c**t?
I mean I am white cis-gendered male, knocking on (but not yet dead, at least I wasn’t this morning). So it must be.
I want one of theose get-out-of-jail-free cards so I can be stupid, unpleasant and a pain in the arse and not feel guilty or responsible.
Ho hum
David, you are right. You spoil us terribly.
Our healer of the world goes on to say,
Which is to say, if glorious socialism prevailed upon the Earth, and if chronically obnoxious and abusive behaviour were indulged and excused as a matter of routine, then such behaviour would somehow, magically disappear. And kittens would smell of candy floss.
Why are these ridiculous people always poets and performance artists? why don’t they ever have proper jobs?
and as Tim said above, if Canada is so awful then move somewhere else,
or ideally just fuck off you pathetic,talentless narcissist.
I sometimes think that the reason these people constantly harp on about their torment and pain is because once they do transition into their preferred gender they`ll no longer be a special unique snowflake and they`ll have to shut the hell up and start paying their own way through life, after all, once you are a woman you can`t whine and bitch about how much you want to be a woman.
“I’m an angry, manipulative messed up person who lies a lot and blames other people. Why does nobody like me?”
tl;dr: Me,me,me,me,me,me,me………
Just watched the second video between meetings. A total utter irrelevance.
Ticked all the boxes:
– show off
– take your clothes off (very important, that one)
– say things which amount to nothing
– show off (oh, did I already say that)
– total lack of talent
– boring, boring, boring.
Why oh, why are they always PERFORMANCE ARTISTS? Because you can get away with murder?
It just isn’t fair.
If everyone had access to security and healthcare, if our social systems were more open to diversity of psychological experience and expression, I truly doubt that mental illness as we know it would exist.
IOW, if we decide that any psychopathology is just a normal variant, then there would be no mental illness. Right; that is some deep thinking along with the profundity that if we decide a fasting blood glucose of 1600 is normal, there will be no diabetes.
From that first video;
Yeah, no, the camera probably committed seppuku.
So she’d feel empathy for a cis white male who was a psychopath? Or not?
Just asking.
A social worker? What, like an ant?
“Borderline personality disorder” = clinically an arsehole.
Which is to say, if glorious socialism prevailed upon the Earth, and if chronically obnoxious and abusive behaviour were indulged and excused as a matter of routine, then such behaviour would somehow, magically disappear.
I suspect it’s more a matter of victory by definition.
There are numerous examples, but the classic is when a new government came in and boasted that unlike the heartless (ie. conservative, right wing) previous government whose policies resulted in 10% of the population being below the poverty line, their new progressive (ie. liberal, left wing) policies had only 7% of the population being below the line.
Note at no point did they claim to have actually reduced the number of people in poverty, they just threw out the raw numbers. As it turned out, they’d simply lowered the poverty line; people who’d been counted as being impoverished under the old regime were suddenly no longer considered such. Their situation was no better, and when comparing apples to apples, it was discovered that, gasp, there were actually more people under the old poverty line than before.
They didn’t lie; they just changed the definitions. But this isn’t about helping people, it’s about being right, and caring.
So “I truly doubt that mental illness as we know it would exist.” is actually quite viable. It’s just likely to be accomplished by decreeing that those behaviours currently deemed “mentally ill” would simply be reclassified. If we replace “alcoholism” with “substance enthusiasm”, we can eradicate alcoholism and have lots of people happily drinking; in fact more than before!
Conversely, behaviours currently considered political choices, such as disbelief in anthropomorphic global warming, are likely to be deemed thoughtcrime and mental disorders, as per many totalitarian states.
“I’m an angry, manipulative messed up person who lies a lot and blames other people. Why does nobody like me?”
That does seem to be lurking in there somewhere. I also like the idea that the world should be reorganised in such a way that abusive, manipulative, dishonest, irresponsible, emotional unstable, chronically angry, self-preoccupied people feel right at home.
Like the Clown Quarter of academia, but spread everywhere.
“If everyone had access to security and healthcare”
Whatever “security” means…
But “healthcare”? Sweet Jesus, she lives in Montreal. In Quebec. In Canada. A country whose identity rests on hockey and single-payer healthcare. A province that prides itself on being further to the left than any other province.
Oy vey.
Incidentally, the number of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) is estimated as somewhere between 1% and 5% of the population, the majority being female. This may be related to gender differences in brain structure, specifically, the ‘wiring’ of the amygdala.
Apparently, men are more inclined to obsessive-compulsive disorders. Which I didn’t know.
… also holds a Master’s degree in clinical social work …
How come I never find any advanced credentials in my cornflake boxes?
So, her theory is that aggressive behaviour should be tolerated by society because it is society that has caused it in the first place. How else is the aggressive shit supposed to cope with their place in such an oppressive existence.
I may be wrong, but I’m assuming her stupid belief system wouldn’t survive an encounter with a male version of herself. Say an equally aggressive male who, “…manipulates others into giving them love when they’ve never been able to get it any other way.”
Manipulates them with his fists. Or a knife.
“This may be related to gender differences in brain structure, specifically, the ‘wiring’ of the amygdala.”
So, you’re saying that men and women may be different? Psshaw, I say! And harrumph!
Back in the real world, I have met several men with OCD of varying degrees but I’ve never met a women with it, as far as I could tell anyway.
To quote the National Institute of Mental Health…
And from the Canadian Mental Health Association…
So what’s going on here? Thom claims to be therapist. She should be well up on her own condition, which she obviously takes a keen interest in. And yet she seems unaware that her condition is considered treatable.
Did she not have time for a two-minute Google search? Or is she trying to make her plight appear more hopeless than it really is?
Ms Kai Cheng Thom wants us to believe that erratic, abusive and manipulative personalities are caused by “society,” or “white supremacist society,” and in particular by a lack of socialism. That somehow these things, and in fact all mental illness, would simply disappear if the social furniture were moved about more to her liking. But the possible social causes of the disorder she claims to have, BPD, are as yet unclear and there’s quite strong evidence that it has a genetic component, as suggested by the fact that those with a first-degree relative afflicted with BPD are five times more likely to develop the same disorder. And it’s hard to see how socialism could affect a person’s genes.
“Being the loudmouth that I am, I wrote an essay for this teacher arguing that teenagers were disempowered members of society, and deserved more rights. She told me that this was ridiculous, because teenagers could not be DIS empowered, since we never HAD any power to begin with.
I’ve always remembered that: A teacher who believed that youth have no power.”
Apparently, even when you agree with her you’re disagreeing with her.
Rejection of those we deem too aggressive to function in mainstream society is not a good enough answer.
Works for me.
David:
Yes, she says this…
Someone should alert mental health professionals about this exciting new theory, as they seem to think that people sometimes develop mental illnesses without any external cause.
….so of course the properly prog thing to do to combat all this self-loathing, abnormal psychological illness is to give into it and, through irrational psychopathy justify what amounts to self destructive demeanour and uncivil behaviour.
Good going, Marxism claims another would-be suicider.
I’m confused. Should violent psychopaths have special taxpayer funded psychopath bathrooms?
Heh.
They’ve made a fine start in NYC.
Ms Kai Cheng Thom is, of course, a social worker and an aspiring therapist.
Oh, great. Just what the Narcissist needs: a steady supply of vulnerable, easily manipulated victims.
Why oh, why are they always PERFORMANCE ARTISTS? Because you can get away with murder?
Because it makes one the center of attention, offers cachet with a certain crowd, and requires no real talent?
Sorry, now you’re playing in my backyard.
Borderline Personality Disorder has gone through a number of name changes as psychiatry shifts from a symptomological basis (what does it look like) to a pathological one (what’s caused/causing this).
BPD has been renamed (Emotional) Unstable Personality Disorder and now Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, because it turns out that it is nearly always a result of severe childhood sexual or more rarely physical abuse that the victim has to keep hidden and therefore never receives treatment for. It this state lasts past age 25 or so, neural plasticity declines and the condition becomes essentially permanent and effectively untreatable.
“Borderline personality disorder” = clinically an arsehole.
More accurately – a terrified child doing anything their undeveloped mind can conceive of to not get abused again. Yes, this will include lying, manipulating, severe emotional lability and irrational generalizations of cause and effect. Victims get permanently mentally and emotionally “stuck” at the age they were initially abused because they end up in pure survival mode all the time and never develop.
Note this isn’t an excuse for their behaviour. It isn’t a rabid dog’s fault that he’s rabid, but that doesn’t make him any safer to be around.
[…] the majority being female. This may be related to gender differences in brain structure, specifically, the ‘wiring’ of the amygdala.
More women are sexually abused as children than men, although there is some evidence that men aren’t as affected by it as women are.
And from the Canadian Mental Health Association
CMHA and CAMH are a giant pack of loons whose pronouncements about anything should not be taken seriously. Part of the reason BPD/UPD/CPTSD is considered so hard to treat is that victims are very good at saying what they think people want to hear. They’ll tell their therapists exactly what the therapist is expecting to hear from someone getting better, then turn around and go right back to being crazy in their personal life.
Part of the reason I’m highly skeptical of this person’s claim is that ironclad disavowal of responsibility is a hallmark of BPD sufferers. Anyone who says they’ve got BPD probably doesn’t, simply because admitting it would mean acknowledging their own abusive behaviour. I’ve seen BPD sufferers insist that they did not physically abuse their children or spouses, even when confronted with unimpeachable video recordings of the incident (Note: not “they deserved it” or “they made me”, but “that didn’t happen, the video is a lie”). Which is why…
[..] there’s quite strong evidence that it has a genetic component, as suggested by the fact that those with a first-degree relative afflicted with BPD are five times more likely to develop the same disorder.
Growing up in a house with a parent or relative with BPD certainly counts as “suffering long-term childhood abuse that has to be covered up until well into adulthood”. It’s environmental, not genetic.
Growing up in a house with a parent or relative with BPD certainly counts as “suffering long-term childhood abuse that has to be covered up until well into adulthood”.
Fair point. As long as we’re agreed that a combination of socialism and indulging bad behaviour won’t fix it any time soon.
“I’m confused. Should violent psychopaths have special taxpayer funded psychopath bathrooms?”
Yes. In an insane asylum.
Daniel’s got it right: Personality disorders develop in response to relentless, hellish childhood abuse. So while we can feel sorry for the child who was thusly abused, the adult with the personality disorder is such an insufferable sack of shit that any sympathy for the injured child quickly dissipates.
The upshot is that Ms Kai Cheng Thom does not suffer from borderline personality disorder: she just makes sure that everyone else does.
Elsewhere in bedlam…
Well, we shoot rabid dogs. And we used to contain the asocial and disturbed humans in prisons and asylums.
If we replace “alcoholism” with “substance enthusiasm”, we can eradicate alcoholism
You just won the thread.
Elsewhere in bedlam…
Some people are just *determined* to be unhappy.
Some people are just *determined* to be unhappy.
Yes, I think so. But there’s also a fashion element to consider, especially among the “social justice” contingent. It’s apparently quite the thing to be seen as having some kind of misfit status – whether it’s a niche sexuality or an improbable mental problem, something to make a person seem incredibly fascinating.
the adult with the personality disorder is such an insufferable sack of shit that any sympathy for the injured child quickly dissipates.
And the entitled, over-indulged millennials and people with real, serious psychiatric disorders mingle freely and adopt similar affect, making it difficult to tell who needs a spanking and a time out, and who needs to be carefully segregated for their own and others’ protection.
Lady Sin Trayda was Slam Kingston’s sintillating feature poet for June 2013. . . .
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
—Robert Heinlein
And the entitled, over-indulged millennials and people with real, serious psychiatric disorders mingle freely and adopt similar affect,
Quite a few of my niece’s and nephew’s school friends have, it seems, recently become afflicted with everything from very specific dietary requirements to gender fluidity and other exotic ailments. It’s quite competitive. Being gay or vegetarian just doesn’t cut it any more.
Note at no point did they claim to have actually reduced the number of people in poverty, they just threw out the raw numbers. As it turned out, they’d simply lowered the poverty line; people who’d been counted as being impoverished under the old regime were suddenly no longer considered such. Their situation was no better, and when comparing apples to apples, it was discovered that, gasp, there were actually more people under the old poverty line than before.
Apparently that’s what’s going on in Brazil at the moment.
Growing up in a house with a parent or relative with BPD certainly counts as “suffering long-term childhood abuse that has to be covered up until well into adulthood”. It’s environmental, not genetic.
Ayup.
Through my version of a childhood, I got basically everything except sexual abuse, extending over years, and still had the reactions to that background echoing long after. And, even with the assorted reactions, unofficial assessments from assorted associates have been variations on rock steady and reliable. For official assessments, there was one time I landed in the middle of several someone else’s screwup that was so spectacular that I went to get checked out by a couple of shrinks, and the official assessment was of my being stone cold sane and healthy as a horse . . . .
Quite a few of my niece’s and nephew’s school friends have, it seems, recently become afflicted with everything from very specific dietary requirements to gender fluidity and other exotic ailments. It’s quite competitive. Being gay or vegetarian just doesn’t cut it any more.
Kate Fox, Watching The English.
As noted in That Entire Page . . . . .
Rejection of those we deem too aggressive to function in mainstream society is not a good enough answer.
Shooting, however, is.
Violence is the symptom of a system that is larger than individual people.
I’m disappointed she didn’t specify a “cis, white supremacist” system. Now I’m confused if she is advocating for more and larger systems that negate individuality, but only when run by mentally abnormal racial minorities.
The other highlight was noted by Spiny: she claims to be a therapist. Who could possibly certify this nutjob? Who could this nutjob possibly assist (aside from serving as an example)? What risk does she pose to those she works with?
The social work, counselling/therapy, and abnormal psychology fields are full of deeply disturbed people avoiding their own disorders by “helping” other people with theirs.
Quite a few of my niece’s and nephew’s school friends have, it seems, recently become afflicted with everything from very specific dietary requirements to gender fluidity and other exotic ailments. It’s quite competitive. Being gay or vegetarian just doesn’t cut it any more.
Indeed. My daughters’ school is similar. Every day they come home with stories of someone’s new mental affliction/dietary requirement/sexual twist.
It’s a good reason to pick an old-fashioned school. I’m not Catholic, but the Catholic school I work at basically kills all this nonsense dead. We have boys with actual dietary issues, and who actually are confused sexually, but none of the made-up nonsense. It’s mainly down to our counselors who, being Catholic, have none of the SJW foolishness. It doesn’t stop any of the boys being gay, for example, it just prevents them from gloating about it as if it were a cause of superiority.