Friday Ephemera (804)
Coming through. || Rocking and bobbing. || Revealed at last, why women take so long in the bathroom. || Lube. || Concerning lung balsam. || Defend yourself with jazz chords. || On Medieval cats. || Moving house, 1965. || I’m tempting you with art. || I’m sure you’re feeling at ease now. || A series of events. || “What’s up whit-choo?” she asks. || Not for chewing, amazingly. || You want one and you know it. || He’s helping the world, you see, with induced meat allergies. || Question asked, taser deployed. || The application of quite nippy pressurised gas. || The secret history of British radar. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || He built a machine that makes rock spheres. || Can you make a jetpack out of rifles? || Hydraulic and hefty. || Fear not, I’ve ordered you a pair. || And finally, on the finding out part.
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Ooh. Leftover cherry pie. And leftover custard.
Recall Terry Pratchett’s description of an Ankh Morpork dumpling:
Snow white: they chose a very unattractive snow white actress for one thing. Have not seen it but ewww.
A wardrobe? An upright fridge-freezer? A Portaloo?
While a wardrobe can fit the criteria, is distinctly British, it might attract as much attention as a Police Box nowadays. As an American, I have a hard time picturing a wardrobe as anything substantial enough for an adult to enter/exit out of – I’ve always pictured them as fine furniture of the easily breakable variety, and not large enough to actually walk into. But I guess they were commonly standalone walk-in closets back in the day, because a closet counted as a room and therefore separately taxable? Like windows were taxed individually?
A Portaloo would be the modern, universally-recognized version of the Police Box. Probably just as universally ignored, unless the person who stumbles across it is in great need, although it is fairly common for them to be locked to limit access. Phone booth would have been similar to Police Box at one time, but there aren’t any more of those, either.
The secret about why women take so much time in the ladies room was revealed way back in the 70s by National Lampoon. A quick peek through the door, revealing chaise longues, massage tables, “toys”, and other things that my adolescent mind could not quite grasp.
(And to think that Nat Lamp started out life as the HARVARD Lampoon!)
The Typing of the Dead is a typing tutor program based on the House of the Dead engine, an old arcade lightgun game. I learned to type from it. There’s something simultaneously aggravating and absurd about being faced with a conga line of zombies with placards around their necks reading, in order, “rat”, “cat”, “bat”, “fat”, “rhinoceros”.
That’s the thing. When you start to explore the premise – objects that a TARDIS would appear as – you may think that throwing together a list of possibilities would be easy. But…
Another politician at the grill, WTAF she is grilling is a mystery, nor why the piece of whatever at about 3 o’clock appears still to have a tendon attached.
I was going to say garden shed. Or greenhouse. But then there’s the transparency issue and you’re pretty much restricted to parking the damn thing in a garden. Where the owner may notice.
I may have accidentally invented the world’s shittest party game.
Saw a dem pol yelling to a crowd that ICE was hauling children away to concentration camps. lol. say anything. Reminds me of what women sometimes say when in a shouting match with boyfriend and drunk. But people believe this crap.
Where’s a woodchipper when you need one?
Danger, Will Robinson.
He’s heading for Bond villain territory.
Not big news. This happens at every Olympics.
All jokes aside, I do strongly favor dehumanizing him and everyone like him. They are our enemies and should be treated as such.
When starfish try pole dancing.
I don’t get it. The “new” dolls don’t have any connection to the originals except use some of the fabric in “modern” outfits. There is no more connection with the story and the historical era that the originals brought. They’re just dolls now.
Seattle’s pedophile-rights group is led by a “non-binary transgender woman who is transrace Japanese”
Confirming that today is an unlucky day.
The cousin isn’t getting the ‘congrats’ so much for having the baby as the family has come together to celebrate the baby. An outpouring of joy at a new human being just starting his/her journey on Earth.
PhD is fine (creative writing?), tenure is fine … but the whiney pseudo-adult still has a “partner” not a spouse and is jealous of a BABY?
She needs a long walk in a cemetery and count how many headstones include “PhD” on the inscription vs “beloved mother” “beloved father”.
Wouldn’t an orm-garðr be more in keeping with his ‘back to nature’ nonsense?
According to his Wikipedia biography, this spawn of Mengele is the editor-in-chief of The Journal of Moral Philosophy. He is also the Director of the Center for Bioethics at New York University. We’re full on 1984 with doublespeak, it has gone that far beyond irony. New York University had better keep a very close eye on any lab work this guy may participate in at any level.
Just how many of the evil geniuses at WEF put this on their priority list?
On the contrary, it may improve the form.
Nice, I learned a new word! But I wouldn’t want any of those poor snakes injured so let’s just turn him into mulch. Nature would like it.
I went to a musical stage production of Cinderella. They made it woke. The prince was a bumbling nobody. Cinderella was an environmentalist and appointed an obnoxious enviro as prime minister when she got married. There was no chemistry between prince and cinderella. urgh they ruin everything
The cinderella story is true to life in that for hundreds of years successful men chose wives sometimes who were not rich but who were pretty/charming. It was a way out of poverty even if not that frequent. Boys fought to be king/rich but girls could dream about it. Even today little girls dress as princesses. Note that in the original Cinderella also shows her kindness and good character by her actions.
Argh … well, we still have this one from my childhood. Still enchanting today.
Just the thing to settle those awkward disputes with your neighbour.
That there is a snapshot of something. And yes, creative writing.
I may have accidentally invented the world’s shittest party game.
No – that would be if we took the Portaloo update and ran with it. Then it could be Dr. John instead of Dr Who (although a john as a loo may be an Americanism… so maybe Dr. Loo instead of Dr Who…). And then just bring on the puns and jokes relating to loos and associated subject matter. Instead of a sonic screwdriver maybe he has a sonic plunger – maybe he stole one from the Daleks. Instead of a 12-ft scarf maybe he has an extremely long piece of toilet paper (bog roll?) stuck to his shoe. Now there’s a “shitty” party game for ya… ok I’ll get my coat.
Oh, I think you’ll find your coat has been on fire for quite some time.
No reason.
In the original her sisters mutilated their feet to fit into the slipper and birds pecked their eyes out.
Ah, yes, FAFO in the original Cinderella. Can’t have consequences now, however. In the one I saw the sisters did not get punished.
As some of you may be interested in such things, that’s William Hartnell showing William Hall, an extra and Evening News journalist, around the TARDIS set in 1965, shortly before recording the now-lost episode The Feast of Steven.
Mr Hartnell was apparently quite fastidious about which lever performed which function on his imaginary space-and-time machine. So you can picture him explaining to passing extras how the TARDIS works. Or would work, if it did.
The food section?
A new variation on dindu nuffin:
“My son the career criminal armed robber deserves a lighter sentence because of the suffering he experienced when the judge had his mouth taped shut after repeated courtroom outbursts.”
Creative writing is one of the more useless degrees. I’ll go farther and say that even a bachelor’s degree is virtually guaranteed to destroy any actual talent.
What’s more, our civilization can easily do without most of the PhD’s currently awarded in the humanities: We need good and productive citizens, not decadent and effete subversives and academic trolls.
Some thoughts of Chairman Mao, via Tim Newman
Palate cleanser.
A recurring crime problem: Crazy people who won’t take their meds.
A solution: Bring back lobotomies.
Well, this sure is convincing.
Another solution: eliminate the notion force can’t be used to protect property.
Beatings first, lobotomies after.
recording the now-lost episode The Feast of Steven.
Does Dr Who land in the Wild Wild West or something?
Remember when being trans-racial was a joke?
The rot sets in early.
@David: If you are tired of ragging on the French….
Which are more dangerous? Trans people? Or liberal judges?
Here’s where hydraulic and hefty comes in.
Learn to embrace the power of “and“