Rotatable Apparatus
Or, The Thigh Straps Were To Ensure Comfort.
One for ladies of child-bearing age:
George and Charlotte Blonsky suggested that modern women were ill-equipped to give birth… They argued that modern women who live with modern luxuries “often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed,” and that something was needed to provide them with the force necessary for a smooth birth.
This patented invention from 1963 was designed to help women give birth easily
📹Hashem Al-Ghaili pic.twitter.com/VBrlB6N1L7
— Game of X (@froggyups) January 11, 2025
I can tell you’re impressed. The net and bell combo is a lovely touch. “In case medical personnel are momentarily distracted.”
The patent, from 1963, can be found here.
Consider this an open thread. Share ye links and bicker.
I laughed and I’m not sorry.
At 8.5 Gs they’re going to be delivering jelly.
Yes, I suspect there would have been one or two minor logistical issues to be ironed out.
But still, bold thinking.
From the linked article on the device:
Which makes me wonder how medical staff were expected to monitor the progress of the labour. What with all that thick fencing and the spinning metal table.
Recall in Heinlein’s Time Enough for Love a bit where the spaceship artificial gravity was briefly increased to assist child-birth (birthing chair, not supine).
That image reminded me of the mechanism all birth-capable women will be locked into once Trump really gets going.
I think we need some input from the ladies.
Goal!
Definitely a candidate for Absolutely Mad Inventions.
Sorry, will have to get back with you all on that one a bit later: still contemplating — awestruck — the vision of the infant (and what, pray, if it is a multiple birth?) being ejected at speed and going airborne into the goalie net… along with a fair amount of other birth-linked liquid and solid ejecta…
O God, Round and round and round she goes, where she stops Nobody knows!
Vertigo.
But it worked so well for Rotherham, and Rochedale, and Oldham, and . . .
Baby roulette!
Where’s the machine that goes ‘Ping!’?
All part of the service.
It seems like this is more about output from the ladies.
Um, uh … “bizarre” is totally inadequate.
I will note this is from the bizarre 60s and the days of giving birth after hours laying on a bed are long over (mostly an assumption of people who never witnessed childbirth)
Most of us moms spent the vast majority of labor walking around using the regular old 1G to assist.
The diaper that magically appears…um…?
Can’t believe I’m here, toiling away, at the weekend.
[ Looks at air fryer, considers making cheese, spring onion, and garlic butter toasties. ]
Pretty sure I saw that even before the Twitter timestamp of March of last year. This idiocy has been going on for decades. Why does it only count when a couple billionaires notice? Why has it gone on so bloody long right out in the open? Are there not sufficient lampposts? You don’t have to hang your police and politicians all at once. In fact it works better if you start with small groups.
What the hell you mean “momentarily distracted?” They’re going to fire up the spinner and go for coffee?
There’s the small matter of the umbilical cord, which is typically about 20″. Does it just snap off on its own, or is the baby left dangling?
I’m not sure when I first started reading about the child rape gangs in Rotherham and elsewhere, but it was at least as early as the mid 2010’s. Thanks to a number of British bloggers, plus Mark Steyn et al. Given the dismissive–even contemptuous–attitude of my liberal friends, I was not surprised that the scandal was not picked up by the mainstream press and politicians.
This should have been invented by Wallace, and called the Birth-O-Matic.
Looting: in 2020 there were huge fires in Oregon, mostly rural but small towns and homes all over. Looters were coming out from Portland so the local good-ol-boys set up a road block on the only road into a particular valley to stop them. Armed of course. The catastrophic fire stopped 1/4 mile from where they stationed. Heard it from some of the participants. Brings a tear to the eye.
[ Crunches cheese, spring onion, and garlic butter toastie. ]
There has been a concerted effort at all levels – police, courts, local government, national government, the media, et al – to lie, deflect, obscure, and bury the rank betrayal of these girls by the same officials who claim, and jealously guard, the sole authority to protect them. If a couple of billionaires noticing makes the public aware of the fundamental breach of faith on display, that’s an argument in favour of the accumulation of wealth.
It’s hard to see how abolishing Parliament and returning to absolute monarchy would not be an improvement.
One question that comes to mind is how much of this sort of thing is happening on the Continent and being completely ignored? In much of Europe it’s clear the citizenry is subordinate to the whims & passions of invaders given entry by their governments.
Bungee for babies.
[ Tries to think of excuse to melt more butter and crush garlic into it. ]
Lib-ruls would condemn what they did as a violation of the looters’ constitutional rights–after all, there was no proof that they were going to loot and it’s wrong to stop suspicious-looking people from going to a disaster area.
Here’s the thing that really irks me…granted not my monkey/not my circus…these are the same people who bloviate and breastbeat about how much they care about the poor. Yet the victims here are not white girls from good families. They were victims explicitly because they were poor. Granted, white was a factor as well. Which again makes it all the more outrageous. Not the whiteness factor itself, but how the racial aspect amplifies how much they do not really care about “the poor”. Girls. Young girls. They don’t give a rat’s f****g ass about “the poor”. It doesn’t even rise to the level of class warfare. It’s all 100% political power BS. The people responsible need to be strung up. Of course the truly responsible ones never are. It’s their pathetic underlings whom they brainwash into doing their bidding that pay the price.
Why do you need an excuse?
Well, they do.
They care so much they’ve done their best to ensure they stay poor along with working diligently to have others join them in poverty.
Good point.
“the poor” there have been several sanctimonious speeches by US politicians that they are willing to work with Trump, but if he does anything that negatively impacts “working people” they will object. These are the same nitwits who in California shut down uber drivers and contract workers, forced people out of jobs with their $20/hr restaurant decree, and made housing unaffordable. Sure, the defenders of working people.
–As illustrated by their fierce rejection of solutions which are actually shown to reduce poverty. And their passionate attachment to “solutions” don’t reduce poverty but do enrich them with money and power and status. And, of course, this is their approach to every other problem, be it drug abuse, “homelessness”, poor educational achievement, etc.
It has been observed that most leftists are motivated not by compassion for the poor but by hatred of the rich. (And you don’t have to be very rich to earn their hate.)
One of the ladies here is in Corona, CA… Darleen, I believe? Are there some sort of warnings being issued there or is my…source…being a bit dramatic? Granted your local government is a bit saner as well. Hopefully.
Heh.
Saturday meme dump here.
Points for honesty?
“This PhD student might one day become the professor of your children. Good luck.”
Instalanch!
[ Sounds klaxon. Hides breakables and good booze. ]
Do the delusions cancel each other out?
Good booze? Where?
Justice denied.
[ Assumes carefully blank expression. Directs gaze everywhere but van parked outside. ]
And that judge was elected.
Yet another feminist sociopath.
I’d forgotten all about this icon of early internet silliness.
I have first hand experience with the Rotatable Apparatus.
No, really.
Waaaay back in the day, I was a USAF fighter pilot. One of the occupational hazards was G Induced Loss of Consciousness, GLOC.
GLOC can occur when the acceleration rate of change in the vertical axis exceeds 7 G’s per second — which means going from 1G, the force of gravity, to seven times the force of gravity — in one second.
Absent acclimatization training — learning when to, striving for delicacy here but failing, mimic straining to overcome the most constipated bowel movement ever — that rate of G onset could reduce blood pressure in the brain to zero. Even wearing speed jeans. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G-suit)
Result: instant sleep, and about 90 seconds from then to regaining situational awareness. Which was frequently preceded by ground impact induced permanent death.
We did this training in a centrifuge, on the end of a 50′ arm, which could spin fast enough to reach 9G, and go from 1G to 7G in a second.
I could do the math to calculate the RPM, but a rough estimate will do: about 70 rpm. It was enough that when the G came off, the sensation was exactly like being in a barrel and hurled down a hill.
The whole evolution is much less fun than it sounds.
All of this is lead in to this: these people did not do the mathmetizing. To make numbers easy, assume one foot from the rotational axis to the cervix. To get 8G would require (furrowed brow, carry the nine …) a tick over 3000 rpm.
The heck with the onset rate.
I showed my wife the vijayo of my 70rpm time in the ‘fuge. She was so disturbed she made me destroy it.
Now do 3000 ripems.
Okay. Back to lurking.
Bets on her abortion stance?
One of the Connery Bond movies has the baddies trying to kill him by disabling the safety mechanism in a g-force training centrifuge, but I can’t recall which movie offhand.
At first I thought you were going to link to the Trojan Room Coffee Pot.
I’m proud to say I was never exposed to it, on account of I didn’t frequent /b/ on 4chan.
The netting is far too small. Seriously. Should be a meter square at least.
None dare call it paranoia.
The allthatsinteresting device is one thing; the one shown in the twitter link is another.
They’ve practically put the axis of rotation through the womb; the mother’s head is experiencing more acceleration than the child. She’ll probably stroke out before the device moves the baby.
There are less complicated ways to get a similar result. Like applying a hammer to your head.
Gentlemen? Is this woman right?
Octuplets delivery would sell a zillion pay per views. Why not put targets all around with dollar values like the price is right wheel. Aim for the corner, honey! Bam.
Filthy liberals: I’m thinking maybe if they could work in some kind of attitude change to go with the rotation – you know, like a Tilt-a-Whirl – that would be some kind of special.
Random speculation: what happens when the afterbirth hits the net?
And let’s not forget this compendium of election-night twitching and shrieking.
Including Guardian contributors whose hair started falling out, and the editor-in-chief of Mother Jones, whose visions of a looming apocalypse were triggered by the politeness of a flight attendant. Oh, and the high-school teacher who demanded that everyone around her wear politically identifying bracelets.
The departure from reality was quite competitive.
All of which – and there are many examples – invites questions as to what kind of world they would find congenial, shaped in their image, according to their compulsions and psychology.
I knew there was some rustling in the bushes.
[ Fetches torch, big stick. ]
I’d say clarity is generally more helpful than intrigue and second-guessing.
IF YOU LOVED ME YOU’D KNOW WHAT I WANT.
Heh. Well, quite. It’s not really my area, you understand, but I have noticed some differences in male-female psychology, and they can, I think, make life more complicated than is strictly necessary.
[ Sets up support group for bewildered husbands. ]
I’m just going to leave this here.
Context here.
And if Damore had any sense, he’d tell them where to stuff it. And he probably has some sense.
The Damore saga, and the dishonesty and spite gushing from so many progressives at the time, including from supposedly professional broadcasters and journalists, was a bit of a marker. A measure of just how weird and twisted the culture had become. And of how much ground there is to be recovered.
And if nothing else, it was quite surreal to see so many progressives – largely progressive women – denying the distribution of – and even the existence of – personality traits that they themselves were displaying, vividly, and on a scale that was eye-widening.
“I like the fact that parents feel happy to bring their children, of any age, to Pride,” he said.
And yet if you tried to tell people, especially many conservative people, people of substance, that such a degree of paranoia was rather common, even amongst people in prominent positions in the media or corporate culture, you would be the one they would say was paranoid.
Regarding which,
And if these pious, progressive creatures would lie about that – where their dishonesty could so easily be uncovered – what else would they lie about?
Answers on a postcard, please.
Why light his coat on fire if he didn’t even make a bad joke?
Nor did I, but bloggers (Ace?) would occasionally post stuff or link to videos on YouTube.
No, I did that in the previous thread.
At first I thought that was a young ShoeOnHead. Haven’t seen her around lately. I see where she got married and had a kid. I thought she said she was bi? Not that that means anything as far as having a kid…but…?
Supervillians.
The proudly expressed opinions of most of the liberals I knew. It branded them forever as self-designated enemies; intellectually and morally contemptible.
<quiet part>Especially when it’s me who’s to blame.</quiet part>>
Are we sure this isn’t some sort of abandoned round from ‘It’s A Knockout’..? I could totally imagine Stuart Hall as compare for it!
“I like the fact that parents feel happy to bring their children, of any age, to Pride,” he said.”
In ‘almost so astonishing you suspect it’s scripted by Iannuci’ this particular ex-MP caught doing naughtiness was followed by most of the front bench AND THE CPS!
And not one of them said ‘Whoa! My good sir, what do you think you are doing?’
But obviously, it’s all Elon’s fault that there’s a scandal in the UK government. Can we get the Pet Shop Boys to re-release an updated version of their hit? Sadly Dusty won’t be around this time 😔
Not saying the liberals I knew were particularly awful to know. Rather, that I have no reason to believe they were atypical–and thus what I witnessed was emblematic of liberals in general.
Malcolm X had very harsh things to say about liberals. If I were to dig up his writings, I wonder how I’d assess his views in light of all I’ve learned since my naive, idealistic childhood.
This literally happened last night. My wife and I were taking our regular evening walk and she was ruminating over Sunday breakfast. She likes to alternate plain oatmeal with something special (sausage biscuits, fruit and potato cakes, for example).
Today is supposed to be an oatmeal day, but next Sunday we’re going somewhere so that should be an oatmeal day too. She was considering just having two in a row ….
And I thought about it and said, “I can fix pancakes and bacon today. I’ve got a recipe I’ve been wanting to try out.” (I didn’t want to add that I love love love pancakes and bacon, so I was also being totally selfish.)
She stopped walking and said, “Do you really want to do that?”
I admit I was irritated and said, “No. I felt the jerk of your leash so naturally I offered.” I went on in that manner for a bit until I got her laughing.
(Context: We’ve been married 30+ years. Knowing someone that intimately for that long is an amazing experience.)
Oh, and in the video, I laughed when at the caption: “Bonus points for using an obscure tool.” 10/10
As a snapshot of progressive psychology, concentrated in a progressive fiefdom and spread throughout progressive-dominated spheres, the Damore memo saga was quite something. A catalogue of dishonesty, emotional instability, performative rage, and eye-widening spite.
And so, we had Google employees proudly threatening to “beat the shit” out of Mr Damore, and others claiming, implausibly, that they had lost “days of productivity” as a result of simply hearing about the memo, the details of which seemed oddly vague to them. As if reading what he’d actually said – or God forbid, any of the links and sources – would result in contamination. Or at least social exclusion.
Though I suppose that if a person’s worldview and in-group status are premised on a series of fairly obvious lies, they will tend to be quite prickly.
Definitely thinking outside the box.
Don’t think she’s wrong.
Pour encourager les autres.
Elon Musk: “If you don’t stop axe-murderers while they’re attempting to axe-murder, eventually they will succeed in axe-murdering people.”
Yeah…yeah, not watching that with the audio on because the eyes and the jerky camera are creeping me out enough..not to mention the sloshing avocado coffee. Here’s my “quest(s)”…keep the house warm/cool, keep food reliably accessible, keep the lights on, keep the water flowing, fix stuff that needs fixing, ignore stuff that is a waste of my time. If these quests aren’t sufficiently appreciated, I feel no obligation to do more. While her point of not liking puzzles…misses the point. Proper puzzles with objective solutions, yes. But, and I do believe she touches on this, the BS of having to predict what a woman is thinking, especially as she has the power (“prerogative”) to change her mind, is…well…BS. Sick of women telling us what the rules are. Especially in regard to what should drive us while pretending to “ally” or whatever. And the qualifier of saying not all men is itself a…puzzle.
From the comments on that link, this woman has a much, much better clue. But maybe not for all men. Maybe just the other kind of men. WTF that may be. Maybe just me. Maybe not.
Have the usual suspects chimed in yet on the right of axe-murderers to pursue axe-murdering?
The future is now.
I seem to recall that attempted murder used to be treated almost as severely as murder itself: After all, the attempt made clear that society could not afford to allow the criminal to run free.
In woke terms, he murdered a girl because he’s neurodivergent.
I hope this is true.
If you’re over 40, you might get it. If you’re under 40, you probably won’t.
For those who missed it, Columbo: Intrigue Without Mystery.