Rotatable Apparatus
Or, The Thigh Straps Were To Ensure Comfort.Â
One for ladies of child-bearing age:
George and Charlotte Blonsky suggested that modern women were ill-equipped to give birth… They argued that modern women who live with modern luxuries “often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed,” and that something was needed to provide them with the force necessary for a smooth birth.
This patented invention from 1963 was designed to help women give birth easily
đź“ąHashem Al-Ghaili pic.twitter.com/VBrlB6N1L7
— Game of X (@froggyups) January 11, 2025
I can tell you’re impressed. The net and bell combo is a lovely touch. “In case medical personnel are momentarily distracted.”Â
The patent, from 1963, can be found here.
Consider this an open thread. Share ye links and bicker.
I laughed and I’m not sorry.
At 8.5 Gs they’re going to be delivering jelly.
Yes, I suspect there would have been one or two minor logistical issues to be ironed out.
But still, bold thinking.
From the linked article on the device:
Which makes me wonder how medical staff were expected to monitor the progress of the labour. What with all that thick fencing and the spinning metal table.
Recall in Heinlein’s Time Enough for Love a bit where the spaceship artificial gravity was briefly increased to assist child-birth (birthing chair, not supine).
That image reminded me of the mechanism all birth-capable women will be locked into once Trump really gets going.
I think we need some input from the ladies.
Goal!
Definitely a candidate for Absolutely Mad Inventions.
Sorry, will have to get back with you all on that one a bit later: still contemplating — awestruck — the vision of the infant (and what, pray, if it is a multiple birth?) being ejected at speed and going airborne into the goalie net… along with a fair amount of other birth-linked liquid and solid ejecta…
O God, Round and round and round she goes, where she stops Nobody knows!
Vertigo.
But it worked so well for Rotherham, and Rochedale, and Oldham, and . . .
Baby roulette!
Where’s the machine that goes ‘Ping!’?
All part of the service.
It seems like this is more about output from the ladies.
Um, uh … “bizarre” is totally inadequate.
I will note this is from the bizarre 60s and the days of giving birth after hours laying on a bed are long over (mostly an assumption of people who never witnessed childbirth)
Most of us moms spent the vast majority of labor walking around using the regular old 1G to assist.
The diaper that magically appears…um…?
Can’t believe I’m here, toiling away, at the weekend.
[ Looks at air fryer, considers making cheese, spring onion, and garlic butter toasties. ]
Pretty sure I saw that even before the Twitter timestamp of March of last year. This idiocy has been going on for decades. Why does it only count when a couple billionaires notice? Why has it gone on so bloody long right out in the open? Are there not sufficient lampposts? You don’t have to hang your police and politicians all at once. In fact it works better if you start with small groups.
What the hell you mean “momentarily distracted?” They’re going to fire up the spinner and go for coffee?
There’s the small matter of the umbilical cord, which is typically about 20″. Does it just snap off on its own, or is the baby left dangling?
I’m not sure when I first started reading about the child rape gangs in Rotherham and elsewhere, but it was at least as early as the mid 2010’s. Thanks to a number of British bloggers, plus Mark Steyn et al. Given the dismissive–even contemptuous–attitude of my liberal friends, I was not surprised that the scandal was not picked up by the mainstream press and politicians.
This should have been invented by Wallace, and called the Birth-O-Matic.
Looting: in 2020 there were huge fires in Oregon, mostly rural but small towns and homes all over. Looters were coming out from Portland so the local good-ol-boys set up a road block on the only road into a particular valley to stop them. Armed of course. The catastrophic fire stopped 1/4 mile from where they stationed. Heard it from some of the participants. Brings a tear to the eye.