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I need closure. Did he/she ever escape?
Alas, I cannot say. But by all means, place your bets.
I need a word for something that’s annoying and funny.
I recall seeing electric city trolley buses unable to climb icy hills less steep than that, around 1960-62.
When I was about 20, I lived near the bottom of a very steep hill, which I’d have to climb to get to the nearest bus stop. One icy winter morning, I emerged and saw a milk float sliding down the entire length of the road at a fairly gentle pace, upright but sideways, with the milkman sitting there, at the controls, resigned to his fate.
We exchanged a smile as he passed.
Today I learned a new word.™
We didn’t call them that in the States, but I used to see them when I was very young. Our house, like all the others in the neighborhood, had a milk delivery door next to the back door.
Our house, like all the others in the neighborhood, had a milk delivery door next to the back door.
My uncle was a milkman and lived conveniently next door. We got to partake in a lot of dairy treats including some amazing ice cream during the summer.
It occurred to me as I was typing that I haven’t seen one in decades and that they might seem alien objects to some readers. One of my neighbours still has milk and eggs delivered, but I’ve yet to see how they arrive on her doorstep. They just seem to materialise, silently.
[ Makes note to be more vigilant re neighbour’s doorstep eggs. ]
[ Sets up camera traps, orders night-vision goggles. ]
One of our local supermarkets has a delivery service: Order anything online and schedule delivery by their vans. At least one very elderly neighbor uses them.
Have you listened for a Tardis or a Transporter?
It can’t be a supermarket delivery. I’d have noticed the van at some point over the last ten years. Plus, I doubt they’d deliver just two pints of milk and half a dozen eggs. And I doubt they’d leave said items on a doorstep.
[ Mystery deepens. ]
[ Surveillance intensifies. ]
It would be quicker to just do the shovelling.
I get milk delivered by a milkman. He doesn’t use a milk float though; just a pickup truck. I was very disappointed when I found out.
Milkmen traditionally deliver all sorts of things.
Funnoying isn’t obvious?
Wasn’t that recently voted funniest Monty Python sketch or something?
Shovel. Get a snow shovel.
In Pittsburgh when I was young we had a milk box. A maybe 18″ tin cube outside the door that the milkman would put the milk in rather than know on the door or leave it on the doorstep. Not sure how common it was.
Myself, I’d prefer a root beer float.
Only halfway through January, but this is quite possibly the funniest thing I will see all year:
From the report:
Apparently California Democrats go to the same barber.
Why, yes, today’s word is in fact symbolism.
I’ve seen those. I’ve also seen boxes built into the house so the homeowner didn’t have to step outside to retrieve the milk.
In other news, Neil Gaiman’s been a very very very naughty boy.
Now I need to shower. Gad that was disgusting.
French leftist theatre faces bankruptcy after opening its doors to 250 African migrants for a free show… and they refused to leave
European countries had better decide if they’re racist or not, and they’d better understand that full commitment to non-racism means that Africans have as much right to live there as ancestral Europeans. “Expeditive” is the principle that uninvited foreigners have fewer rights than a country’s own people, and less than infinity appeals before they get deported – until the mid 20th century, a banal tautology about nations being for their own people, but now what’s called a human rights scandal.
As Tim Newman notes in reply, Laurie Penny does seem to have a remarkable number of unsavoury men in her scrupulously progressive social circle.
More than chance alone would seem to allow.
I want to hear what’s being said in the car.
Yes, after the eleventh attempt, I suspect the language would be getting a tad salty.
After a while, all that driver is doing, is polishing the ice.
So . . . not completely useless after all.
Unlike the driveway.
Ba-dum-tssshhh.
[ Rolls single fluff-covered Malteser down bar. ]
No need for espionage to discover your neighbour’s source of milk. In most of England, doorstep deliveries, arranged online, can be had three times a week from the national company MilkandMore. We never see our milkman in person but the Ring camera usually tracks his silent arrival and departure in our country lane in the early hours. Pint glass bottles of proper Channel Island gold top are our choice but the white water known as skimmed also available.
[ Checks website. ]
They don’t deliver to my area.
[ Sets up elaborate laser grid, nets. ]
Cursing the legislators who made studded tires illegal.
This is why my dad kept a carboard box containing a small folding shovel and a bag of sand in the trunk (boot) of the family sedan (rear-wheel drive back then). We did have studded snow tires in the rural Frozen Northeast of the USA, but some hills were just too much for even they. I do not miss that at ALL.
Laughter is not out of place.
Every few years the Jerusalem hills get a centimeter or so… and it is delightful watching this merest sprinkle discombobulate Israeli drivers.
I think I will weather the war with the Palis as long as I do not have to drive in real snow ever again…. OTOH the avid skiers in Israel are hoping we will annex more of the Golan Heights.
The same thing happens in the States almost anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line or west of the Rockies.
In the snow in the dead of winter? Such people likely didn’t have 5 yo boys. Fortunately footy pajamas were a thing. Builds character.
In Australia we had (horse drawn) milk (and bread) deliveries, but they seemed to go the way of the dodo in the late 60s. We even had suburban micro-dairies back then. I’m sure the summer climate wasn’t conducive to leaving milk on doorsteps.
Also not helping – my sot of a brother driving into the back of a milk float, poor horse.
We used to get free 1/2 pint of milk at primary school too. Back when milk wasn’t racist and dairy fat wasn’t treated like polonium.
In Texas, the snow falls &, things being what they are, melts when it hits the ground. More snow falls & cools off what’s on the ground, helping to make a nice, smooth, layer of ice. The snow continues to fall & insulates the ice. So there’s usually not enough snow to compact & provide a surface for traction but just enough to melt from the pressure & increase the ice layer. A bunch of oh-you-just-don’t-know-how-to-drive-in-snow Yankees discovered that attending Super Bowl XLV.
Such people likely didn’t have 5 yo boys.
Oh, but they did have 5 year old boys and they squeezed them through the milk door when they locked their keys in the house. Speaking from experience.
In Texas
Not just Texas. What you describe happens here in the Great White North too. It’s one of the reasons why, when snow is forecast, they send out the sanders and salters before there’s any heavy accumulation. Otherwise you’re hydroplaning on that thin layer of ice under the snow (even with snow tires and four wheel drive). In places where it’s too cold for salt, they plow and pack and then sand on top.
Kind of hard to justify those in a place as spread out as Texas when snow & ice are infrequent at best. They’ll sand the overpasses in the larger cities but smaller towns haven’t the resources.
Kind of hard to justify those in a place as spread out as Texas when snow & ice are infrequent at best.
Makes sense. Also, it doesn’t make sense to have snow tires there for the same reasons.
We’ve had a lot of snow this year where I live. It’s snowed almost every day since New Years so the roads are constantly covered with some kind of schmeng and mung. The temperatures have also been in the sweet spot for icicle formation. I drove past a 150 year old house today that had a twelve foot icicle hanging from the third floor eaves by the front door It was spectacular.
Hiawassee, GA this week. Significantly south of the M/D Line. Been like that for about three days now. Likely last another two or three if forecast is correct. Schools closed. Travel warnings abound. Panic in the grocery stores. A bit unusual tho. Rarely sticks around more than two days. Ah, but snowfalls are a thing of the past.
Wide enough for 10 year old boys, too, I think. Fortunately there weren’t many 10 year old burglars back then…and the courts still locked up burglars of any age…and criminals who played Fagin to kids were particularly subject to severe punishment. And in the cruelest blow to #equity, neighbors did not hesitate to confront and call out suspicious strangers.
A lesson for southerners in how to drive on snow: “Imagine you are driving to church, and grandma is in the back seat is holding a tureen of gravy. Next to her on the seat are two pitchers of iced tea.”
When I taught my kids to drive, I took them to a big empty parking lot and had them slam on the brakes and do donuts to feel how snow is.
it’s fun, teaches car control/dynamics and makes it easy to do Jim Rockford J-turns.
Light entertainment.
All the Cluster Bs talking at the same time. And he kept his cool the whole time.
Another take.
Also another take.
Around this time last year, a neighbour was merrily approaching her icy, snow-covered car armed with a steaming, recently boiled kettle. With some haste, I suggested that pouring boiling, or even warm, water onto frozen glass may not be an ideal course of action.
Thats the job of Deliveroo! My local area milkman still has an electric milk float. I think he only has one customer in my immediate area though.
Deejay:
But what about the tits?
[ Peers over spectacles. ]
Better solution: warm water sealed in a freezer bag. De-ices your windscreen AND keeps your hand warm all the while!
That’s what I always say, but I always get in trouble for saying it.
[ Fetches bigger pair of spectacles to peer over. ]
JuliaM:
The blue tits can be buggers if some smart arse cracks the ‘let’s stick a beak in this metal foil top’ puzzle and hits pay-dirt. But the information on how to take advantage of a door-step milk bonanza doesn’t seem to be passing down from previous, cannier, generations so birds are now rarely a problem. Those darn squirrels, however, will not only rip the cap off but then tip the bottles over. Life can be a struggle at times.
Also another take.
“We have hundreds – HUNDREDS – of women currently in the infantry. LETHAL members of the military.”
Lethal? To the enemy or, more likely, to fellow troops?
And I do not contain that to just women in the military – ANY person who can fuck up the success of the mission needs to go home. Likewise, ANY person who is capable of ensuring success of the mission should be on the team.
Get yer tickets now for some good old fashioned “…outrageous creativity, laugh-out-loud humor, and mind-blowing artistry.”
Another of those things that never happen. “Belfast woman cleared of battering mum in row over table salt”.
“Something is not right with him.”
[ Recalls with horror ]
Like most, my parents accepted the word of the “experts’ who proclaimed whole milk to be unhealthy. I never found skim milk palatable, but learned to accept 2%. When the fraud was exposed, it took far less time for my palate to become accustomed to whole than it did to 2%.
I wonder what my waistline would be if I had not spent so many years on a low-fat, high-carb diet.
Y’know, that might increase your readership, David.
I wouldn’t wish to tread on Flappr’s toes.
And don’t get me started on the, ahem, “smart arse cracks.”
The hyphen goes there for a reason, people.
But they’re already treading on the toes of half the TV weather reports of South America and Southern Europe.
Agreed.
From your lips to
God’sliberal womens’ ears.Spare the rod . . .
Not an auspicious start.
As does its absence.
‘Conservatism’ hasn’t ‘recruited’ the poetry of Homer, Virgil, Dante, &c. – the political, politicised, left tried to remove all traces of it from the public consciousness.
They wouldn’t hear it – too busy listening for ‘dog whistles’.
Exactly. Along with every other part of our cultural heritage, social institutions, and so on.
I saw the crown of France laying on the ground, so I picked it up with my sword. — Napoleon Bonaparte
Women in combat: to the woke, it is just some words. They do not understand the reality of it. In actual combat, you do not have any privacy. You might need to shit while in your foxhole with other troops. In addition, these are young, healthy adults so sexual attraction is a big factor (see for example how many women on navy ships get pregnant). Nothing like a love triangle or even just a romance to destroy cohesion of a fighting unit. Men also have an irresistable urge to protect women around them–how does that work in combat? Then there is the physicality of it. Carrying equipment and ammo in the field is brutal…for a man. Not possible for almost any woman. Finally, women captured in combat can hold an entire nation for ransom the way men captured cannot. Remember when a female truck driver in Iraq was captured and it was a freaking catastrophe and a special forces team had to go in and rescue her.
See also the RAF:
Answers on a postcard, please.
It’s all words to them. They require trigger warnings, safe spaces, & puppy therapy when faced with disagreement; suffer PTSD when told no; & literally can not change a light bulb.
My liberal friends, especially the women, alternated between mutually contradictory talking points:
Also:
It didn’t take long to conclude that these were unserious people who were morally unqualified for citizenship.
To remedy a frozen-stuck lock on the driver side door, I poured warm tap water down the window, and lo, it did thaw sufficiently to open.
Then after work I tried to close the door, and the latch had frozen open. I had to drive home with my right hand holding the door closed while also working the stick shift.
2/10 do not recommend, but at least it’s a good story.
These?
I’m just glad we’ve cleared that up.
I think Di should have her own series. Like MacGyver or The Rockford Files.
[ Tries to repress Rockford Files theme music. ]
From the headline at the link, “Why is the right obsessed with epic poetry”. Not speaking for myself…per se…but perhaps it’s the result of those “on the right” as one says now, having spent way too many hours of their youth in school having poetry shoved down their throats by…people on the bloody left.
Well, I dunno about shit. AIUI, that passage tends to close rather tight whilst being shot at. However, being able to piss on a frozen BAR or other such weapon was a rather useful…skill…that women generally fail to execute effectively. For some reason. There hasn’t been a study on that reason as yet as far as I know so we cannot say at this time what that reason might be.
I knew better but I clicked anyway. Hope springs eternal. It certainly could have been worse.
When discussing tits you can’t omit these.
However, being able to piss on a frozen BAR or other such weapon was a rather useful…skill…that women generally fail to execute effectively.
Yeah, but what about women with princess wands and girldique?
Along those lines, the National Institutes of Health is busily protecting American health by giving grants to (cleans screen, adjusts glasses, checks notes) make apps to assess how well Thai “trans”women check HIV status and use PREP.
I can’t think of a thing the NIH could better spend $667,000 on.
For example.
Somewhere in Russia/Eastern Europe…
I like cats, but not people who pretend to be cats. (Presumably this was someone who harasses people for online clicks.)
The dye is cast.
When facing on a lathe, ending up with a tit means your tool is misaligned.
I hear that a lot.
No idea why.
[ Whistles nonchalantly. ]
When facing on a lathe, ending up with a tit means your tool is misaligned.
The little nubby bits of rubber on the tread of a new tire are called tits.