Friday Ephemera (712)
Incoming. Apparently, surprisingly, no-one died. || His grilled cheese sandwich is more fiddlesome than yours. || It’s a look. || It’s a look 2. || She’s healing her womanhood. || Regarding submarines in space. || Ruffian intercepted. || He’s super-happy. || He wants your thoughts on his boobs. Includes obligatory head-tilt. || In Barnsley’s NHS, there were “less than ten amputations due to medical negligence.” || Because your face just says problems, love. || Imported Muhammadan piety. || And then it became apparent. || For the protesting class, it’s an outlet for their issues. || WiFi-enabled cock ring with built-in camera. || Incoming 2. || In fashion accessory news. || The car of the future, 1971. || And finally, I’m not entirely sure what this is, but apparently there’s a heated debate.
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Hey – his teeth are perfect, at least.
Bloody hell – I am trying to eat dinner here! I know, credit note only, my fault for clicking.
His grilled cheese sandwich is more fiddlesome than yours.
Yes it is, but I have to admit I’m impressed. That sandwich is awesome! A great sandwich is all about the thinness of the ingredients. I’m the deli counter and cheese counter managers’ worst nightmare. I want everything sliced as thinly as possible. The more exposed surface area the better the flavour.
I don’t think I’d ever attempt trying to slice bread that thin. I’m not sure how sharp a straight edged knife needs to be to slice bread that thin. Most bread knives are serrated and saw through the loaf.
I would definitely need Karl’s help.
Land acknowledgement of note: Before I begin my remarks, I feel we should acknowledge that we are on stolen land, once the rightful heritage of a free and democratic people before it was taken and turned into a woke toilet by spoiled rich white douchebags.
I’m not entirely sure what this is, but apparently there’s a heated debate.
I wasn’t aware their was a gloving community, I lead such a sheltered life.
In fashion accessory news.
Mugatu did it better.
In fashion accessory news.
We’re getting into Leningrad Cowboy territory here.
Do humans actually buy and wear this rubbish?
What, and I cannot emphasize this enough, the actual hell is that?
I’ve heard of people writing on their limbs with a big black sharpie prior to surgery to specify exactly what needs to happen where. “NOT THIS ARM” and such.
And now that’s in my Amazon browsing history. It’s what I get for clicking before reading.
That’s the county where I live. We had two full days of strong wind ahead of a wintery storm, and it had been dry and warm enough prior that I guess the tumbleweeds had dried out instead of being a wet mass under the snow.
That area is the Hot New Neighborhood, positioned as it is on the edge of Nothing, so people can have their vaunted Views. I kinda didn’t feel bad for them. I’m tucked in the middle of suburbia so I’m never affected by such things.
Tumbleweeds are terrible to deal with. Ranches have their fences pushed over by the weeds piling up on one side, then the snow and rain smash them down, then they’re dense enough they catch the wind.
That was a strange storm. It was a cold front impinging on fairly warm, wet air, and so it produced this effect, which caused Snowbird Ski Resort to close. March truly came in like a lion.
| pokes spam filter |
Morning, all.
[ Slurps coffee, rubs eyes, liberates comment. ]
Comments with five or more links get intercepted as possible spam and held in the ‘pending’ folder.
Oh, it’s still there, in all its miraculous glory. I’m guessing that for some reason you need to log in to an X account to behold the wonder.
Heh. Welcome to my world.
“Ruffian intercepted.“
She must play rugby!
That gal can definitely be on the team.
“The car of the future, 1971.“
Gosh, imagine an episode of ‘Top Gear’ where the presenters could light up a cigar behind the wheel! Ah, BBC, what happened to you?
I suggest dragging them by their eyelids.
The music, I think, rather sets the scene.
Someone should tell her she’s still being judged.
I see it’s bring-your-fetish-to-work day. A thread.
Somewhat related: “His eclectic dress sense.”
Another sad man having a mid-life crisis.
I suppose what’s grating is that we’re apparently not supposed to register the messages that are being sent. The narcissism, for instance. The need to continually be the centre of attention. And I’m guessing we’re not supposed to consider how such narcissistic provocations may affect other employees and degrade their working days – employees who may struggle to pretend that everything is perfectly normal or something to be affirmed. And who may suspect, with good cause, that any hint of demurral may result in accusations of bigotry and even disciplinary action.
Working with self-involved twats – self-involved twats enabled and applauded by management – does tend to be tiresome and demoralising. If every day involves some variation of, “Yes, but have you seen how utterly transgressive and fabulous I look?” it can wear a little thin.
‘He reportedly also makes students call him “Mx” instead of “Mr.” because he’s nonbinary.’
How do you even pronounce that?!
I believe it’s pronounced insufferable bellend…
Do humans actually buy and wear this rubbish?
For the name, yes.
Well, you would certainly need a sharp knife, but you’d also need a lot of bread.
You see how much of the loaf he already went through trying to get a thin slice on camera?
I was definitely impressed. Until he opened the fucking Kraft cheese slices!
[ Rummages in fridge. ]
I found these.
Am I damned?
God yes.
And you have poor taste in cheese.
Wow – prophetic. They really nailed the endless goddamn beeping!
I feel I should point out it’s not the only cheese in the fridge. But it is there. Being almost cheese-like.
Sort of AI cheese. Or ironic cheese.
Band name.
It would almost be worth the assault charges to just stand there and slap the ever-loving shit out of their smug, metalled, faces until they gave up pretending to be stuck.
Until he opened the fucking Kraft cheese slices!
Not just any processed cheese slices, if you watch carefully those are Japanese processed cheese slices made with milk and tallow from A5 wagyu cows. Each slice costs around ¥7400.
It would almost be worth the assault charges to just stand there and slap the ever-loving shit out of their smug, metalled, faces until they gave up pretending to be stuck.
Can we pretend they’re in the stocks, and pelt them with rotten fruit and decaying vegetables?
I’m sure Japanese processed cheese is the absolute pinnacle of processed cheese technology.
Unfortunately, it’s still processed cheese.
It will never end because of the mutual parasitism between the narcissists and the people profiting from the display. Even here, where we click links and wish we hadn’t it’s telling the algorithm “Oh, look, the Guild of Evil people like this stuff! Let’s encourage more!”.
Are we still allowed to say he’s mentally ill?
I suppose the question is whether our wig-stroking chappie actually believes that he’s pregnant, not just fat, which would suggest he’s a tad unmoored from reality; or whether he’s just role-playing for attention and likes. Affirmation, as they say.
Which is also fairly unhinged.
I mean, I’m not seeing an option one could regard as encouraging.
As someone notes drily in the replies, pregnancy tests may also detect some forms of testicular cancer. So he may want to get that looked at.
And yes, today’s word is irony.
Cheesy slices is very appropriate.
One suspects that one’s credibility as a man of taste, discernment and savoir faire might have taken a hit.
I should think the lawyers had a hand in that.
[ Considers abandoning all decency and making a mug of instant coffee. ]
Isn’t all cheese processed? I’m not aware of any natural cheese sources… unlike the famed spaghetti trees…
For the benefit of those not cursed with a twitter account, and based on David’s comment, I believe this is the bozo in question.
That could be the new typing animation, up top. Your Fault For Clicking.
Step this way, David. We’ll soon have your head fixed right.
“…self-involved twats…insufferable bellend…”
Perhaps both, one of our gate hand gluing tovariches.
I’d like to see a systematic investigation of their backgrounds. I’m betting that they are nearly all from very well-to-do families and that they have not given up the comforts and privileges that they enjoy.
They are, by and large, The Unspanked. As remarked here previously,
See also The Lovely Lydia.
No.
It’s called bacteria. Here‘s this wonderful new resource to help you out 😌
For the stylish vagabond.
The more trivial and irrelevant the greater the passion.
“It was the third time this week that a Boeing plane used by United faced mid-air problems.”
Sounds like a lack of diversity. They want to get some more quadriplegic engineers, or visually impaired tyre-checkers in there. Fire those damn competent, able-bodied, white supremacists that are holding the company back.
I’m sure that a purely naturally occurring cheese (milk plus bacteria, just left on a shelf) would be awful.
Hey, I’m just giving you options.
‘fɘk ‘ȯf
I can hear Karl’s eye twitching as I type.
I think that’s called a “paleo” diet. Though I’m not sure they have shelves.
[ twitch ]
Or yogurt.
“Natural” has taken on a new (read “marketing”) meaning. “Natural” cheeses seem to be manufactured in places featuring lots of heating equipment, piping, and metal vats.
All purely natural, of course…
24 months probation for the “crime” of aggravated misgendering a guy trying to get into a women’s loo. Be sure to check his profile.
One might have thought that the mentally ill, cross-dressing man – the one barging into ladies’ toilets – was the one doing the misgendering.
Speaking of The Unspanked.
Let the spanking be done with bats wrapped in barbed wire.
Then deport them all to islamo-fascist countries.
Note the yurt in the background. 😀
The “essential” in “Essential Waitrose” is doing a lot of work.
It’s a look 2.
If I’d accidently wandered into a room in hell I wouldn’t have expected anything less. Good lord this world belongs to Satan.
Couldn’t help but notice your Cheesy Slices are a 2 on the strength scale. Just how many level are there on the Cheesy Slices strength scale? What strength is being measured? So many questions.
What strength is being measured? So many questions.
I believe it is tensile and compressive strength when used as a building material.
Just the one, I believe. A non-threatening two. I’ve yet to see a Cheesy Slice with more… whatever the two is measuring. I think any relationship they might have with actual cheese is largely conceptual.
It occurs to me that if you could scale them up, Cheesy Slices would make pretty good crash mats for school P.E.
A bit sticky, maybe. But hey, kids make everything sticky.
Taw Valley Creamery enters the chat.
Oh. My. God.
A miracle breakthrough.
[ Added: ]
I notice, however, that those level-sixers don’t have to deploy the qualifying term “cheesy,” as in cheese-like, and instead refer to actual cheddar. I’m guessing they don’t have the endearingly rubbery properties of the level-twos.
[ Checks Waitrose opening hours. ]
No one ever said the Albigensians were wrong.
It’s like watching an interview with a toddler throwing a tantrum.
ruffian intercepted: I am guessing that in the UK they would arrest her also.
David said:
ahahhahahahahahaha…whew….hahahahahaha
activist wanker class: note for example what happened in Canada when truckers dared to protest. The media came out in force to denounce them. Also few sympathetic news stories about farmer protests currently in Europe
Actual LOL
just stand there and slap the ever-loving shit out of their smug, metalled, faces
Hands glued to the fence and each other, making it impossible to defend against, say, a savage kick in the bollocks? I’m just brainstorming here.
What strength is being measured?
Mohs hardness scale?
As a former resident of Japan, I can confirm that proper cheese is ridiculously expensive (though not as insane as fresh fruit), so processed cheese was all I’d buy.
I was disappointed the delivery guy didn’t rip them off the gate.
Access DeniedYou don’t have permission to access “http://waitrose.com/” on this server.
Reference #18.b2b3417.1709927329.a21498cd
Not much sympathetic coverage here in the States, either.
It may just be me but India Willoughby looks like Voldemort in a wig.
Waitrose has standards you know!
Perhaps I have a different understanding of the word heresy than you do, but I’m pretty sure some element of wrong is, at the very least, implied.
I’d leave in a huff but mine is in the shop.
But seriously, I suspect it may have had something to do with your link: Was it a normal link to a product page, or was it a link to an image? I have occasionally had trouble with a few vendors’ websites where following one bad link gets one blocked for an undefined period of time.
‘I wasn’t trying to rape her, I was trying to kill her,’ assailant tells Chicago cops
Not just a vicious animal, a stupid animal too.
What, yet another one?
criminal justice reform advocate arrested for murder
“Johnson has previously served about 25 years behind bars for attempted murder and other charges. He appeared on Joe Rogan’s podcast last month where he talked about how he turned his life around.”
https://twitter.com/MeghUpdates/status/1765325222247645335?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
New Saudi robot Mohammad casually gropes female reporter’s fundament. I’m with the commenters who speculated there was probably an Md Someone in the background with a joystick, or it was programmed to shake hands, but she had her back to it. Although isn’t that a Western thing? Too bad it didn’t try for the male reporter
Wasn’t young enough. 😉
The word you are looking for is demonic.
Among Mr Willoughby’s many miraculous claims is his announced state of virginity. Despite him having fathered a child when known as Jonathan Willoughby. Quite what his teenage son and former wife are supposed to make of this uncanny feat, I leave to the reader.
I imagine they twigged to his Cluster B traits long before he came out and are not surprised by his effacement of their existence.
I hope they’re grateful they’re not longer in his orbit, if that’s the case.
The correct response to Willoughby is: You are a eunuch
Related!
I laughed and I’m not sorry.
On a slightly more serious note, the experiences of ‘transwidows’ – women whose husbands got into frocks and pouting in a big way – are often overlooked:
One of many such stories. And in light of which, cooing about “pride” sounds even less convincing.
one of the revealing aspects of modern feminism is how uncaring, even hostile, the so called female activists are towards women and their actual concerns.
But then, if those females are hostile to men – their own brothers, fathers, the gardeners, plumbers, cabbies etc working hard to keep their world running – why would they have any empathy for some random women they don’t even know, just because they have the same genitals.
That’s why I hate the glorification of the suffragettes. Privileged upper class, didn’t care for the British and Indian soldiers, fine, but they also cared little for working class women, or for women in the colonies.