Gardening Gone Wrong
Because you’ll only complain otherwise, I bring you performance art:
I’m reading the catalogue and press release. Bear with me. Send sandwiches.
Needless to say, the accompanying prose is quite extensive. The words “sustainable heterotopic space of discourse” crop up, obviously, and which, as you can imagine, is an enormous help. Quite how one might “exchange ideas” with a plant is, alas, not divulged.
We are, however, offered a tantalising preview of a “sensitive, sensual performance” by Lisa Hinterreithner and her associates, in which the four ladies “lead us into a world of living vegetatability.” It is, as will become clear, a “human-plant utopia.”
Should you be tempted by the prospect of watching four women being intimate with nature, fondling straw, and tonguing moss, you can behold the full 100-minute performance at the Künstlerhaus Factory, Vienna, July 20-23, where other, equally stunning works can doubtless be savoured.
Visitors are advised to “if possible, bring socks.”
And before you ask, the artists acknowledge the financial support of the Cultural Department of the City of Vienna, the City of Salzburg, the Province of Salzburg, and the Federal Ministry of Arts, Culture, Civil Service and Sport.
First! Always wanted to say that..no, not really. What I want to say, predict actually, is that the word ‘cucumber’ is going to show up in this thread some way, some how. If not, my OCD will likely cause some sort of rash.
*Runs away screaming*
Damn you, David.
But there’s fondling, and tonguing, and women stroking themselves with twigs…
It’s “a world of living vegetatability.”
[ Cruel laughter. ]
Isn’t technology marvellous?
In the 18th Century I would have had to travel in some discomfort to London in order to goggle at the patients of Bedlam Asylum. And pay the porter a penny to let me in.
Yet today I can view the mentals from the convenience of my own toilet. For little more than twenty of our English pounds a month.
That would have bought Sussex in the 18th Century.
Mind you, my laptop does not offer me a “haptic introduction by Lisa Bottomrider for blind and visually impaired persons“. Though on the other hand, I’m not wearing socks.
Did anyone mention cucumbers?
Here I am, slaving away, at all hours, bringing a little high culture into your tiny, aesthetically barren lives…
1) I’m reading the catalogue
OK, I’ve tried that on three different browsers and a phone, but is that one of the most fucked up sites on the planet? The layout looks like a high school yearbook laid out by methed out monkey.
2) I believe we have found a bunch of idiots who were not allowed to play outside as kids.
3) Zappa was there first.
4) I am sore chagrined I won’t be able to make it to Vienna in July.
Oh, you have to be high..? Well, I understand now.
Dude, don’t force it. If it doesn’t…come naturally, it doesn’t count. And as we are moving shortly, the wife threw out our last bottle of calamine lotion.
Band name.
Well played mine host.
Arguably your best yet.
I’m glad it is pointed out to us that she “noticeably plays with tine,” because I didn”t catch that part.
Two thoughts- firstly, they should have given this particular gig to Rocio Boliver. Secondly, under the circumstances, “Künstlerhaus” makes a pretty nifty portmanteau word.
“you should downshift.”
That doesn’t mean what they think it means…
(to downshift means to engage a higher numerical gear, thus increasing revs. It’s akin to the mooovies in which one engages “overdrive” to the sound of increasing fury – except “overdrive” lowers the input RPMs…)
Ok, who’s snoring over there?
ARE YOU NOT AESTHETICALLY ENGORGED?
“Summer is icumen in”.
I recall that ended badly.
That’s what she said!
I suppose this is where the cucumber should’ve gone.
Well, there is* a type of Japanese animation that shows a similar looking sort of art…
*so I’ve been told. And heads for door. Whilst ducking.
Every cultural institution is run by bedlamites, not just schools and universities.
Emergency Rooms are well aware of that sort of thiing.
Not really necessary to spell it out is it?
Well, that too involves vegetation of sorts.
As I have been saying, speak up. It matters.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Went to the catalogue. They approvingly quote Latour, which says a lot. They say plants have been “colonized”–only slightly less absurd than talking about decolonizing mars. Evidence of “colonization”? The use of latin names. hahahaha. I’m sure the ferns are distressed by their latin names. Do read the texts, it is fatuous and absurd to a high degree. They could have just said “gardening and walking in the woods are salubrious” and be done with it.
Belated cucumber.
With Peyronie’s Disease?
Ahem
I have questions.
And feelings of inadequacy?
All I can recall about Bruno Latour, at the moment, is that he was discussed in two books by Levitt and Gross about the left’s war against science, Higher Superstition and The Flight From Science and Reason. I’ve forgotten all the details.
They say plants have been “colonized”…
If they are colonizing plants consultation with a psychiatrist and a proctologist are highly recommended.
Heh. Where do I suppose most of these stupid ideas come from?
In other plant related performance art news, let us go to France. (Caution)
But there’s fondling, and tonguing, and women stroking themselves with twigs…
That’s not just any twig, that’s pussy willow. So it’s quite literally pussy stroking.
[ Puts on poison dart proof vest ]
I’ll just leave this here, I think.
or perhaps not.
When you are stunningly ignorant, it is so easy to find obvious things and think they are new or to read garbage like Latour and think it is profound. I am envious. hahah not really. In the upper left of the catalogue there is a “navigation” tab. Hover over it. hahahaha like a kid’s collage.
‘Tis a silly place.
Interesting that the soundtrack to that video immediately reminds me of Forbidden Planet.
And we know how that movie ends.
Heh.
Sorry miss, I was giving myself an oil job?
I know I live a boring life, but I’d pay good money to see some sad blokes rogering a venus fly trap, or the ladies getting out the nettle dildos.
K…needing some help from across the Pond….To get around the FB and other censors, I’ve resorted to Cockney Rhyming Slang. But of course Google, etc. are not too crazy to help out much here either. So…is there an option for Gay besides Perry Cuomo? Because that seems simultaneously too weak and too harsh. Not that once upon a time I didn’t regard PC as gay…but not that kind of gay Also for Trans, best I can find is Ginger Beer, which…and I’m not up on all this new fangled language even in the original context…isn’t the same as Trans is it?
I think the answer you’re looking for is to not use FaceBook “and other censors“.
But if you must, I’m afraid that the modern atrocity that is The Tranny was unknown to 19th Century rhyming Cockneys.
They did however have Pearly Kings and Pearly Queens.
And there’s always Liberace at a pinch.
or to read garbage like Latour and think it is profound
The late Canadian pundit Kathy Shaidle once referred to Stephen Fry as “a stupid person’s idea of a clever person”.
is there an option for Gay besides Perry Cuomo?
Mig-15. Look it up.
Also for Trans, best I can find is Ginger Beer
‘Troon’ is the current term of art, although because it’s unique it’s easily detected. ‘Transformer’ usually works in context.
I think this bears repeating. Try clicking the link,
…
Really? No progress in the lingo in over a century? Pity.