Friday Ephemera

AI-generated 1970s sci-fi pulp covers.
The color schemes are pretty spot on, the fonts? Meh and the artwork is way too mixed up, wavy and you can’t tell a monster from a spaceship. Sci-fi pulp of the era was garish, sometimes abstract, but still pretty much recognizable.

He doesn’t respect you, alas.
Call it even.

See also.
Not entirely unrelated.

Old school alternative.
*awards dad points*

Between bites and sips
Last October I managed to keep a mask off 3 out of 4 hours on a Las Vegas to Nashville flight. At one point an attendant was about to address me and I quickly smiled, held up my nearly empty coffee cup, and asked, “Can I get some more?” This seemed to trigger her trained auto response, so off she went and came back with another cup of diversion for me.

He doesn’t respect you, alas.
Then what happens when one transperson doesn’t find another transperson attractive and wishes not to fuck them? Is that akin to dividing by zero?

[ Quietly fixes Stephanie’s catastrophic and mortifying runaway-italics blunder. ]

Did Stephanie make some kind of horrifying and terrible runaway-italics blunder?

How bad was it?
Ever the gentleman, I couldn’t say.
It would be embarrassing for Stephanie. And we can’t have that.

For those who don’t scroll down. According to commentator Lord_Snow77:

“Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally – their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can’t afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently… Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they’re fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio… There’s a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn’t want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother’s anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn’t helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.”

For those who don’t scroll down.
You’re really stamping any residual cuteness out of that one. Before setting it on fire and rolling it off a cliff. Into molten lava.

stamping any residual cuteness
Hey. Don’t shoot the messenger!

Wait, it still doesn’t.
The fetching lass claims one of her “alternate identities” shagged her boyfriend (poor bastard). It is the bogus dissociative identity disorder that has become a fad among the Tik-Tac set of late along with bogus Tourette Syndrome the interesting thing of which is that virtually all of the Tourette Tik-Takers are female, and real Tourette Syndrome has an overwhelmingly male prevalence. Oops.

Dangers of Ice Fishing.
So, er, are the prostitutes under the ice, or just lurking by the shore, possibly behind some shrubs?
I fear I may have missed something.

Dangers of Ice Fishing
His expression when he discovers walleye depletion is actually not what the mayor’s on about…

They just fell right out of the sky.
Unless, of course, he means the burly fishermen will be corrupted into prostitution and end up offering hot and sexy times to any passing… er, well, whoever would be passing by, on a frozen lake.
Again, I may be missing something.

Common thread to 414,415 and 416? Nah, if you see one then you are a racist, neo-Nazi, KKK noose-tying somabich.

AI-generated 1970s sci-fi pulp covers.
Richard Powers paintings, done by people without any talent whatsoever.

Common thread to 414,415 and 416? Nah, if you see one then you are a racist, neo-Nazi, KKK noose-tying somabich.
Ever since the 2020 riots, some leftists have been insisting that all or nearly all the looters are white. So yes, if you see the common thread you are a racist. And if you carefully cite statistics on the racial makeup of looters and smash-and-grab thieves you are still a racist.

How bad was it?
Everybody slows down to look at the car wreck. Packet traffic get backed up all the way to the last router.

The thrill of mental illness
Kinky. That boyfriend is playing with fire, and yet…

They seem to be swinging around to problematizing the principle of sexual consent.
Or at least, “If you don’t find us attractive, we will call you the kinds of names that could put your employment in jeopardy, if not today then maybe quite soon.”

Very much related to both, truly an impenetrable mystery.
Step 1: Be crazy.
Step 2: Shun people who tell you that you are messed up and need help.
Step 3: Associate only with people who praise your insanity and encourage you to make bad decisions.
Step 4: Get crazier and make irrevocable bad decisions.
Step 5: Wonder why virtually everyone in the world avoids you.

“A transgender 4 year old is like a vegan cat. We all know who’s making the lifestyle choice.”

I like how the dude getting his ass tattooed in public is reading a yellowed pulp paperback book while the tattoo artist works on him.
It does elevate the scene to a much classier level.