Friday Ephemera
The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders. || Well, it must’ve rattled loose. || At last, a robotic bartender. || Bird feeder. || I bring you art. || Babe detected. || His back-yard view is better than yours. || You can’t go far wrong with accelerated penguins. || In fairness, it was his first attempt. || Just wind and frozen sand. || Phantom nipples. || Near miss detected. || Now you do it. I’ll start the clock. || Incoming. || Satisfied customer. || Strange dog. || Dentist’s magic hat. || When the day just keeps getting worse. || You want one and you know it. || He has a theory, ladies. || The tardigrade’s toes (and tiny things digesting other tiny things). || And finally, for the sleepy kiddies, there are goblins lurking under the bed.
Oh, and a reminder that I now have a Gettr account.
In entertainment news, an inauspicious maiden voyage:
https://youtu.be/MS-SQthKvEU
Another robot bartender:
“Thank you,” Foyle said.
“My pleasure, sir,” the robot replied and awaited its next cue.
“Nice day,” Foyle remarked.
“Always a lovely day somewhere, sir,” the robot beamed.
“Awful day,” Foyle said.
“Always a lovely day somewhere, sir,” the robot responded.
“Day,” Foyle said.
“Always a lovely day somewhere, sir,” the robot said.
…
He has a theory, ladies.
Guess his ulterior motive.
And finally, for the sleepy kiddies, there are goblins lurking under the bed.
Got goblins? For a small fee, Susan Sto-Helit will loan you the poker.
An inauspicious maiden voyage.
Nerdrotic noticed it as well.
G4 based their comeback on 1984.
I bring you art
I’m not clicking on that. I know how this ends.
The tardigrade’s toes
They’re not even trying to hide the grift now.
Calculated provocation? After School Satan Club at elementary school in Moline, Illinois.
Military Career Model
Uh-oh: liberal talking point about recidivism rates turns out to be…inaccurate.
I just can’t understand how unprincipled, ideologically driven “journalists” could have failed to notice that the Norwegian and American data were fundamentally different. It’s a total mystery.
Babe detected
Will now spend the rest of the morning bleaching my eyes.
Porch thieves? Pffffft Amateurs.
Gonna disco up the mountain
“Strange dog.”
And you CAN eat what it lays on the drive!
The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders.
“37% of orders were mistaken, but 99% of customers said they were happy.”
🙂
And you CAN eat what it lays on the drive!
[ Fetches Julia’s coat, box of matches. ]
Morning, all.
Phantom nipples.
Looks like buyer’s remorse.
Robotic bartender
It’s good to know retired factory workers aren’t just thrown on the scrap heap.
Although I did notice the customers keeping a safe distance from a machine one programming error from pushing a beer bottle in your ear blunt end first.
Ann-Margret with the conceptual fail.
(Marilyn Bergman, who shared the Oscar for writing the lyrics to “The Way We Were”, died last week, which is how I found this video looking for a clip of her at the Oscars. I didn’t expect Ann-Margret like this.)
Gonna disco up the mountain
Totally not gay disco, not gay at all
When the day just keeps getting worse.
That’s hilarious. I commend her dedication. She must be very popular.
not gay at all.
G4 based their comeback on 1984.
It is enough of a spectacle when a show, network, streamer, etcetera goes off the rails after some years of building an audience. It is something else to see the journey to train wreck town occur as a quarter-mile drag race.
Looks like buyer’s remorse.
No refunds, no credit note, no return.
That’s hilarious.
I recall a buddy of mine leaving the dentist’s office after having his wisdom teeth out, and spending much of his drive home in a spirited argument with the air freshener hanging from his rear view mirror.
Phantom nipples.
Two words, “nipple sparing mastectomy”, but that is what you get when you go to Crazy Eddies Discount Surgi-Centr “His Prices Are Insane!”.
Meanwhile in TV land, as predictable as the sunrise, a reboot just like the original. Name.
But my proposal is quite modest…
But my proposal is quite modest…
The inversion of reality kicks in early, I see.
Meanwhile in TV land, as predictable as the sunrise, a reboot just like the original.
Just as predictable: publicity describing the show as “bold”.
Interesting Led Zeppelin cover.
|| You can’t go far wrong with accelerated penguins. ||
Interesting Led Zeppelin cover.
Ok that was awesome. I love this place.
When the day just keeps getting worse.
Still the best…
https://youtu.be/7doCJbg_XBA
When the day just keeps getting worse.
It’s a hard life, being a drug addict.
|| I bring you art. ||
(Tries to find password to cancel PayPal subscription…)
Restaurant of Mistaken Orders: “We are getting more and more queries from local government….”
Oh, oh!
Nerdrotic: “It’s been 8 years, and seems like it.”
A minute and half felt like 8 years to me.
But my proposal is quite modest…
Swift’s modest proposal was, in many ways, kinder.
Swift’s modest proposal was, in many ways, kinder.
I have a modest proposal regarding leftists.
Even Tardigrades are sexually dimorphic.
That demonstrates how primitive and unevolved straight men are after all!
Well, it must’ve rattled loose.
In my youth, I worked at a tire shop. I never worked on anything that big, but I did help install and mount a tractor tire that was six feet tall and weighed several hundred pounds. They fill the tires with a solution of calcium chloride to add ballast to the tractor and help maintain the tire pressure. It was back breaking work. I was happy to go pack to the passenger tire side of the business.
I have a modest proposal regarding leftists.
Remember to treat them like kale, not like meat. You gotta cook the bitterness out or they’re nigh inedible.
Today’s round of “What About…?”
Norway incarcerates people for speeding.
Oh yeah? Well, what about Australia? They incarcerate people for entering the country legally!
to go pack
…to go back…
Propaganda showing signs of desperation? Wearing a facemask makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, study finds.
Re: that G4 … thing.
I got as far as the night vision (?) video clip.
I had to look away. (I know, I know ” he’s So sensitive, poor soul. “)
I used to imagine the the problems in the US might be due to the inability of many to advance beyond University.
Now I’m confronted with many “adults” who are stuck in middle school. FFS.
Anyway…
So, Squires, you owe me for that torture. And…I want…a Bar Snack!
No! TWO Bar Snacks! A little one here, and a big one there! With a cute little path running between them!
Aahh! [Runs out the door into the alley.]
On a lighter note, I’m now almost done with my cardiac rehab program, after 33 sessions. The crew there has been absolutely professional. Perhaps there is hope for the country after all😁
Supply chain problems, do have solutions.
Wearing a facemask makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, study finds.
Makes one yearn for the old days. Closing time at the bar, limited prospects–mostly double baggers–but you came prepared with a supply of bags in the car. One for her and one for you in case hers falls off.
|| I bring you art. ||
I know this one! She’s tortured…er…enriched…us all at this very fine establishment, several times in the past. To this day I cannot unsee the bending over, sweaty feet squeaky shoes, and shrubbery; it haunts me still. I know, no refund, credit note only.
I have no idea what horror she is attempting with the bell jar over her head but I’m not clicking. It could be highly innocuous – I am not taking the chance.
[digs in heels, refusing cultural enrichment]
To this day I cannot unsee the bending over, sweaty feet squeaky shoes, and shrubbery;
Relive the dream.
Wearing a facemask makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, study finds.
If the headline read “Residents of Cardiff look better with their faces covered up,” it would be so uncontroversial as to be forgotten.
“At last, a robotic bartender.”
Needs work on the appearance. I was expecting something a bit more… gynoid.
“Babe detected.”
[See comment #1]
“The tardigrade’s toes”
“This episode is sponsored by Wren, a website where you calculate your carbon emissions.”
Yeeeaah. No.
“An inauspicious maiden voyage.”
I’ve been playing videogames since the late 1970s, and as far as I knew until today, G4 was “down the road a bit”. Doesn’t look like I’ve missed much.
Speaking of games, this seems straightforward enough…
“Wearing a facemask makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, study finds.”
I saw that somewhere else.
First thought: My Freddie Krueger mask didn’t help me *at all*, last New Year’s Eve.
Second thought: 43 women… 43. Possibly looking for the safest space.
Seriously, for this ‘study’ to have any value, there would need to be controls on the type of mask, as a minimum. Generic, Nike logo, camouflage? Sure going to be difficult to do that with 43 subjects.
Upon rereading the article, I see that the study referred to above did try two types of mask. Surgical was the most appealing. Still, 43 subjects.
So I’m going with ‘safe spaces’.
Penny Arcade has gone way downhill in just about every facet, but they had G4TV pegged from the beginning.
Amazing progress since Mark Zuckerberg version 1.0.
Wearing a facemask makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, study finds.
So science has proven that most people have faces for radio, or for facemasks, or for hijabs; and that most people, when another person’s face is left to the imagination, prefer to imagine an attractive face than an ugly face.
People walking around in a constant state of medical soap opera, as the nurse professionally but tenderly wipes the surgeon’s brow, and meaningful glances are exchanged over masks.
That seems precisely backwards. But if you’ve convinced people that other people are walking biohazards, then the normal rules for trust and comfort and intimacy are turned upside down.
Wearing a facemask makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, study finds.
“Studies Show” is frequently a precursor to something risible. Many studies are poorly designed, or are designed to find a desired outcome. I always smile when I see another “studies show X is good for you” news item, because it’s meaningless until it’s been backed up by numerous other studies whose methodologies survived scrutiny. Remember “studies show margarine is healthier” and “fat is bad/carbs are good”?
On the Norway recidivism discrepancy: Noncommensurate measures are a common problem. I saw a dem politician claim that crime is not up based on national statistics BUT serious crime (murder, carjackings) is up in major city downtown areas–40 yr highs in many cases. The lack of crime rise in suburbs and small towns conceals that rise if you take national stats. In other cases they compare 2021 crime to 2020 crime in Chicago or such, but 2020 was also high. Liars.
For monsters under the bed, I recommend Monster Spray.
double baggers
You forgot the punchline Steve, “plus a third bag for the dog so he doesn’t lose all respect for you”.
Is it wrong that I found the swirly-swirly dance the robot bartender did at the end to be kind of sexy?
Is it wrong that I found the swirly-swirly dance the robot bartender did at the end to be kind of sexy?
[ Edges away. ]
[ Takes a look at threads on PJMedia, Twitter Facebook, etc. Sidles back with ingratiating smile. ]
Hey, good buddy Pooklord, I take it all back.
Is it wrong…
Hey what goes on between a man and his machine is strictly between a man and his machine. Although, I’ve never seen something get so excited after giving head…ahem, on the beer. And it was perfect head. What?
The “Phantom Nipples” piece just made me feel sad. This isn’t a good timeline.
Hey what goes on between a man and his machine is strictly between a man and his machine.
Wasn’t there a relatively recent sf movie in which a sexbot appeared? Maybe Spielberg’s AI or something from right around then?
Is it wrong that I found the swirly-swirly dance the robot bartender did at the end to be kind of sexy?
She’s a big lass.
The “Phantom Nipples” piece just made me feel sad
Up until a few years ago, effectively 100% of female dysmorphics were victims of childhood sexual abuse. That number has dropped, although it’s impossible to guess by how much, because transitioning has become trendy.
Women are herd animals, and teenage girls especially so, and engaging in self-destructive behaviour for the sake of approval and status within the herd has been going on forever. The lack of paternal oversight (it ain’t single dads telling the world their 4-year-old is “trans”) means larger numbers of teen girls are permanently destroying their bodies and endocrine systems.
Unlike a teen goth or punk phase they can’t grow out of it, which is why reversion and regret is becoming so high only a few years after the initial transition for girls.
This “everybody is trans” nonsense is this decade’s Satanic Ritual Abuse panic, and if you think there will ever be any reckoning for the psychologists, judges and Child Services harpies who have destroyed the lives of so many children and families, you’re dreaming. No one involved in the McMartin preschool and Country Walk trials have ever been held to account for their actions.
My Favorite Led Zep cover is “Stairway to Heaven” by the Geezinslaws
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR0N9GnJmyM
Babe detected
You really need content warnings for stuff like that!
Wasn’t there a relatively recent sf movie in which a sexbot appeared?
There was this Russian series that appeared on Netflix. Not sure if it’s what you’re thinking of or not.
Just another black racist thug: murderer demands ‘reparations’ for slavery, promises ‘America is gonna burn’. The racism and paranoia will go unreported outside of New York. The murder itself will be ignored, just as the news media have memory-holed the racist motives of the Waukesha Christmas parade murderer.
Grooming, just a right-wing conspiracy theory.
it ain’t single dads telling the world their 4-year-old is “trans”
I stand corrected and that’s it, I am ****ing done with humanity.
That’s odd. I had read that quote as…
I guess that I need new glasses.
I am ****ing done with humanity.
I’m only surprised that “Okay groomer” hasn’t become a thing.
I don’t even know what to make of this competitive elite wokism..
Lucky man.
Lucky man.
Missing safety features? Not inspected recently? Never inspected?
I don’t even know what to make of this competitive elite wokism..
Yes, it is competitive elite wokism, and it’s taught in elite schools like the one Mackenzie attended.
The artful sincerity with which terms like “first-generation” (all I meant was the first generation to attend an Ivy League university) and “low-income” (don’t all 18 year olds have low income?) are thrown about is reminiscent of Peter Hitchens’ quip about how it’s 100% the fact-checking truth that the children of prime ministers live in inner-city terraced houses and go to comprehensive schools.
Where’s the father? I thought he might be Mr Fierceton, given that the mother’s name was Morrison, but Fierceton turns out to have been a nom de guerre coined by Mackenzie.
Lucky Man
The third time I almost died was in the service elevator of a Manhattan youth hostel when the cable snapped.
It wasn’t dropping into the basement that almost killed me either, it was the miles of falling cable which then tried to hammer the car through to the centre of the earth.
The third time I almost died was in the service elevator of a Manhattan youth hostel when the cable snapped.
Good Lord. (Youth hostel? Does that mean “decaying inner city building in which the elevators and other equipment have not been properly inspected”?)
Good Lord
Well, we were renovating the place, so “decaying” – yes, “inspected” – yes, “in good order” – not so much.
The third time I almost died…
A question comes to mind.
“inspected” – yes
Shouldn’t an inspection have included examination of the entire length of the cable? And since such cables are made of many strands, I would naively assume that it would not snap unless many strands had already failed.
Amusingly enough the second time I almost died was in the very same Hostel.
I was perched atop an aluminium (natch) step ladder hauling out some old electrical cabling for replacement from a conduit that I had every reason to believe was not live.
It was live.
As I clamped my pliers around the wire and they bit through the insulation I was immediately electrified and because of the force I had been exerting to drag it out, my muscles were instantly locked down. I simply could not release my grip on the pliers or they the charged wire.
As I felt my life, and all light in the world, narrow and ebb I just managed to walk my legs up the wall underneath my suspended torso and simply lever my whole body away from the wall.
I came to a few minutes later on the ground, bruised but alive, and slightly more aware of the value of circuit testers.
It was live.
I’m perfectly capable of all sorts of minor home repair. But I won’t go near anything electrical. Just not worth it.
Yikes.
Yikes indeed.
Every time I read a news headline that begins with “Noam Chomsky” I always get so excited only to be immediately let down when the sentence doesn’t end with “will be missed”.
Liberal proudly shows us his crazy eyes.
Will be missed
When I began my degree in Artificial Intelligence at Edinburgh University in the early 2000s I was impressed by then unkown-to-me Chomsky’s linguistic innovations.
I later became equally unimpressed with his political arseholery.
There is truly no fool like an educated fool.
The third time I almost died…
I did once cut my hand while reaching for a very sharp knife.
What?
Just remembered I’ve yet to watch the finale of The Expanse. Tonight it is, then.
No spoilers. I still have hopes it will be good. Or at least good enough.
No Spoilers
Wait, isn’t that the one where Holden is subsumed by the alien intellect embedded in his mental connection with Miller?
What?
What really surprised me about the finale were all the monkeys.
Speaking of surprises, the hostage taker at a synagogue in TX is demanding the release of Aafia Siddiqui*, rather than a recount of the last presidential election.
* – The same terrorist bitch championed by CAIR and Linda Sarsour.
I have to admit, I am not seeing a problem here.
I did once cut my hand while reaching for a very sharp knife.
Pfffft. I once sliced my wrist open on a flowerpot. Not intentionally, I hasten to add. My parents said later that if the gash had been ever so slightly deeper, I would have died. I still have the scar.
A moose once bit my sister…
Okay, okay: I was once nearly crushed to death by an industrial flour sifter.
I’ve been struck in the temple by a speeding used motor oil vat.
“This “everybody is trans” nonsense is this decade’s Satanic Ritual Abuse panic”
Let’s be honest here: throw a brick this decade and you’ll hit three analogues to the Satanic Ritual Abuse panic without even trying.
I have to admit, I am not seeing a problem here.
I likewise.
Just remembered I’ve yet to watch the finale of The Expanse. Tonight it is, then…
Breaking: You must instead stay glued to your computer in case KKKalifornia disappears beneath the waves
I came within 6 inches of being run over by a woman who forgot that when you turn right you must look to the right for pedestrians. And one other time by a woman who must have seen me but didn’t care.
I was nearly decapitated as a wee lass.
There was a vacant lot at the end of my block. It had once belonged to a Cal Worthington (and his dog, Spot) dealership, decorated with colorful plastic flags strung on wire around it. Over time, the flags had disintegrated, but the wire was more weather-resistant. One day my little brother and I decided to take our bikes over there to ride around, since there was no traffic and it was a big, level open space where we could get up some speed.
I think you see where this is going.
I had no idea what hit me. One second I was pelting along, the next I was on my ass on the ground and my bike was who-knows-where. My brother went racing home screaming and my mother practically teleported down the street. I was okay, with the exception of a red mark across my throat for a few days. I’m told my father went on an absolute asshole-tearing rampage, though, and the wires were removed in under 24 hours.