She’ll Ruin The Leather

Fortunately, given that pose, there is enough concealment and shadow that we don’t get to see that sort of underbrush

Seriously??? This is art?
I’m pretty sure some drunken bum has done more creative things for the world to see, and didn’t even charge admission.
And of course right after the thanks given for NOT seeing “underbrush” – up goes a picture my eyes cannot unsee. GAHH!
Ye gods, David, where do you find this stuff??? I salute you for combing through this rubbish so we don’t have to.

No, don’t thank me. You’ve earned it.

You shouldn’t have.
Really.

All I’m saying is that there are several videos on the internet which, on paper, would seem to be almost identical, but are in fact immeasurably more entertaining. (And, frankly, educational, some of ’em.)

So the video still preview comes up, and it’s not looking promising. The time-to-play reads 2:39.
I put the tablet down and go pour a fresh cup of morning coffee for my wife, already in the middle of her morning con-call.
Time to get the car warmed up.

Anyone know… if this “work” was taxpayer funded in any way?
It was, um, performed at the Grace Exhibition Space in Brooklyn, which is supported by the Brooklyn Arts Council, which in turn is funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, New York State Council on the Arts, New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, and umpteen other publicly-funded bodies.

We are not helpless to stop the funding of the senseless proliferation of crappy art like this amongst those who have no meaningful purpose nor talent. We must begin — today, right now, this minute — taking performance and other assault art out of the hands of women (and men, but especially FWISH, women) who have essentially weaponized it.
That won’t be enough to end the proliferation of all of the unsightly and pointless crap like this, but it will spare some eyes. It is admirable that bloggers and such are deeply horrified by what goes on in art studios, exhibition spaces, etc. But the moment calls for action, not words, and politicians who are too craven or stupid or ideologically rigid to finally stop funding this crap are responsible for this ongoing waste of money, and yes cultural terror.
(Adapted from a recent rant I sent to my wife and SIL regarding a story about yoga pants and the open brandishing of such by certain unqualified females. Other people have no shame, why must I?)

All that whooping and clapping at the end—-is that because it was finally over?

For those who missed them, Ms Schaefer’s previous efforts can be found here.
I had not realized how…prolific this “artist” was until I fell down the rabbit hole of links our host so conveniently provided. Ye flipping gods.
I also made the mistake of clicking on her CV link at her website. The list of grants she’s received for what she does is astounding. There’s a well-padded publication list too!

…in which Ms Schaefer presents her buttocks to the world…
In the animal world, that would be called “presenting”, one can only hope there were no takers.

Lab Rat, were you one of the Atomic Nerds? That was a great blog.
No, sadly, I have never been that cool. Nerd, yes, but blog author, no.
I chose the nickname because I am a lab rat of sorts in real life, but I think I may need to modify it somewhat so I don’t get mistaken for someone else.

The time-to-play reads 2:39.
You would think that would be long enough, wouldn’t you?
But you’d be wrong – a subtitle at the end explains the actual duration was “14 minutes”.
14 minutes.
14.
Minutes – not seconds – minutes.
Many people might be horrified that Schaefer managed to stretch that out to at least 28 times the duration it really required.
Some, but not me.
No, what horrifies is me is the mental image of Schaefer spending hours in various branches of Starbucks, face screwed up in intense concentration for hours and hours – hours on end – staring at a blank page of a notebook over the course of one, two, maybe even three or four days before having a ‘Eureka’ moment and passionately scribbling:

Performance idea! Ambulation!
Ambulation = walk; walk = Mexicans crossing borders(!) A wall!
My ass – in the air – a wall of flesh! But not like Trump’s wall – this wall has an opening – a passage way – this ‘wall’ is an inverted ‘V’ for ‘Victory’ sign – my eyes – upside down – see the audience through the opening in my legs! I see victory – they see … ass(!)
To me – my pussy at the apex of the ‘V’ for ‘Victory’ sign – an ironic mocking of the eye/pyramid on the dollar bill (capitalist bastards!!) ironic mocking of the Masonic compass – but this can only be seen if the audience puts themselves in my shoes(!!!)
Masonic Compass!
Compass = map; map =walk = walk = ambulation!!

That’s the real performance; the real work of art.
Not that video, not even the ‘happening’, but Schaefer actually thinking she’s actually doing something instead of someone doing something that merely looks like someone doing something that requires thought and effort – instead of just mooching around various coffee shops looking intellectual.
And then imagine her at the bar afterwards – the kind of conversations she must have which refer to all her “hard work”.
I like to imagine something along these lines:

“Yeah, well, you know. It took a long, long time to germinate. You know, the idea? I just … Man, it was tough! I have a very rigorous process and I’m really strict with myself. I have to be disciplined – you know, for my process … “

“My ass – in the air – a wall of flesh! But not like Trump’s wall – this wall has an opening – a passage way”
I am reminded of Cacaphonies: Toward an Excremental Poetics from the other day. After all, there’s a lot of art being metaphorically pulled out of people’s asses these days.

At least one can wash out the taste of those dodgy pickled orbs…eventually.
I cannot wash my brain, incidentally, unless I watch more of this performance, after which I need more brain bleach. It’s a vicious cycle that no amount of credit notes will cure.

Just don’t use her as an endtable. Any surviving drinks would have a certain aroma that does not mix.
At least the black hides the arse sweat. No country for old men, or even cheap beer.
If she can bend like that, may I put her in a box and pretend to saw her in half?
Asking for a friend.

🧐 🐶

Posted by: Nikw211 | February 20, 2018 at 22:04
That was damn funny.
You deserve endless bar snacks for the rest of the week.

Darleen,
I’m never quite sure if The Root is real black people posting stupid, arrogant rubbish, or white racists posting make-believe stupid, arrogant rubbish trying to make blacks look really stupid.

[ clicks ]
No refunds. Credit note only.

Everyday Feminism seems to just be going through the motions these daysp

Suzy Evans, a colleague of Ms Schaefer’s, brings to bear the full weight of her artistic talent.

I’m never quite sure if The Root is real black people posting stupid, arrogant rubbish, or white racists posting make-believe stupid, arrogant rubbish trying to make blacks look really stupid.
Oh, Spiny Norman. It gives me no pleasure (I lie) to have to pronounce you GUILTY of the soft bigotry of low expectations. Please adjust your badthink accordingly.

“You deserve endless bar snacks for the rest of the week.”
You either hate Nikw211 or are new here.

Sorry, but seeing that I couldn’t help but be reminded of this.
“‘The sweatiness of the center’s butt is important,’ former NFL quarterback and B/R NFL analyst Chris Simms said, somehow without giggling…..”

“Dogs bark but the caravan goes on.”