If fruit could move. || Uncanny mom powers. || Progress. || How to optimise your roast potatoes, mathematically. || Miracle breakthrough. || Bee waves. || Windblown snow, from above. || She does this better than you do. (h/t, Tim) || Rolling below. || Brain coasters. || “The effort of vomiting pressed out about half a teacupful of the brain, which fell upon the floor.” || Fridge-and-houseguest-related idea of note. Do let us know how it goes. (h/t, Julia) || Fixing the world one step at a time. || Safety first. || Wheels. || You want one and you know it. || Scenes. (h/t, Dicentra) || Extra strong. || Woodland. || Comb-over. || On the domestication of cats. || Incoming. || And finally, a caption competition.

As I’m still finding my feet after the holidays, you’re getting a chance to assemble your own pile of links and oddities in the comments. I’ll set the ball rolling with how to forge your own lock box, because you need to know these things; a brief history of tea; a transplanted peanut allergy; some notable positioning; and the wiring you’ve always wanted. 

Oh, and today’s words are tuition fees. 

Oddly enough, I did not see that coming. || Pull on the lips. || Depth of field. (h/t, Damian) || Topiary. || Progress. || The thrill of GDP. || Gifts in disguise. || The strange life of Margaret Rutherford. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || She was the world’s first human cannonball. || Noise-cancelling kennel. || Fun with folding cubes. || Portable forest. || These people do not exist. || Cause, effect. || “Aiming to break even for the first time in two decades.” || Possibly related. || Things to look out for in the gentlemen’s toilets. || Lost and Found. || Instant boobs, for adolescent boys. || Bulb-changing chore of note. || Erebeta. || Fun with sand, fungus and lava. || 100,000 stars. || And finally, a small moment of escalating concern.

Grocery order substitution of note. || He does this better than you do. || Banana harvest of note. || 72 hours of Sherlock Holmes adventures, as read by Stephen Fry. || She makes miniatures. || “This unit will work with any make of car.” || Today’s word is calligraphy. || “Too much news coverage feels like commentary.” || Comedy night conditions of note. || Inclusivity. || The Christmas spirit. (h/t, Obo) || A Guardian Christmas. || Chuchel is a game. (h/t, sH2) || A guide to dimensions. || Hardcore. || A compendium of archaic sounds. || The Internet Boy-Band Database. || Motherhood. || Wings. || You want one and you know it. || And finally, when the road to Instagram stardom is rockier than anticipated.

Hewn from marble, some 400 years ago, by a 23-year-old. || Gentleman of the road. || I do believe it’s Mickey. || London’s medieval murders, an interactive map. || Are you using “anti-animal language”? || There’s always a catch. || At last, an intersectionality score calculator. || Cat-proof Christmas tree. || Scenes. || Enrichment. || These chocolates are fancier than yours. || Wing of note. || Not quite grasping how it works. (h/t, Darleen) || Today’s word is hominins. || How to wrap gifts without tape. Patience not included. || An archive of downloadable historical maps. || Meet the Mellotron, 1965. || Mouse housing. || Designer spinning tops. || And finally, his horizontal-bar back-flip is way better than yours.

Because I’m busy, you’re getting a chance to assemble your own pile of links and oddities in the comments. I’ll set the ball rolling with a rudely interrupted live-stream of note; a compendium of real-time air-traffic audio streams; via Damian, the thrill of Antarctic bore hole noises; via Pogonip, the bedtime companion of your dreams; and not one, but two items of flatulence-related news.

Oh, and Big Knickers. 

A switched-on hepcat works her sweater like a pro. (h/t, Damian) || His handmade paper toys are better than yours. || Some people are just hard to please. || Woke pattern of note. || Bookcase inserts. || Minimals. || Manufacturing pencils. || Always respect the media. || The Manhoff Archives: Stalin’s Soviet Union in colour. (h/t, Coudal) || A (fairly) brief guide to flu jabs. || An unexpected turn of events. || Scenes. || This. || Twisted knickers. || As we’ve seen, repeatedly, Shoreditch is vibrant and diverse. || Darts post-game interview of note. || Real-time orbit in high definition. || And via Monty James, it turns out men have always wanted their own “imperceptible” foundation and waterproof eyebrow pencils.

“Blink, motherfucker.” (h/t, Damian) || Brew of note. || Today’s word is suboptimal. || Toothbrush of tomorrow. || Dicycle. || Dude. || Turn your desk into a touchscreen. || “Makes drinking water fun.” || Stormy weather, somewhat distant. || White women bad. || Whale heart. || New legs. || Photographing lichen. || Small claims. || Scenes. (h/t, Obo) || “This teacher had to tell her deaf students that people can hear farts.” || Flat-Earth gravity and other fun facts. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Jigsaw of note. || “Jigsaw companies tend to use the same cuts for multiple puzzles. This makes the pieces interchangeable.” || Parallel universe detected. || Florida man sighted. || And finally, behold ye, a party trick of note.

No messy hand. (h/t, Julia) || He lives on as a pair of shoes. || Unnatural passions. (h/t, O&G) || It could happen, people. || The humans have some kind of force field. || False economy. || Conflicting definitions. || Disgusting Food Museum, Malmö, Sweden. || On Cerenkov radiation and travelling faster than light. || A bit of a kick to it. || Ice crystals in the sky. || Hatchlings of note. || He does this better than you do. || Skillz. || Scenes. (h/t, Dicentra) || Think good thoughts. || A project for the weekend. || Mascot of note. || More scenes. (h/t, Damian) || 10 robots. || Aerial refuelling. || And finally, “When it became clear that Trump was going to be president, silence descended over the mostly naked crowd.”

Thank goodness he’s wearing a safety harness. (h/t, Rita) || Insertion of note. (h/t, Obo) || When tarpaulin attacks. || Unprovoked shark attack interactive map. (h/t, Things) || A caterpillar transforms. || Caffeinated energy ham. || “As sure as my name’s Boris Karloff…” || A brief history of Soviet calculators. || Lordy, that’s a big one. (h/t, Dicentra) || Shimla, India. || Irony. || Return of the social justice kittens. || Animated book covers. || Today’s word is binary. || Shibboleth names, by which the elevated identify their social inferiors. (h/t, Coudal) || Oh dear. || I detect dissonance. || “Neither age nor death need stop performers from working.” || And finally, Love Will Tear Us Apart, a tweaked rendition.