“I’m perfectly legal and I’m a teacher.”

Via Mr Muldoon.

Also, open thread. Share ye links and bicker.

An impressive stash. || Hardcore pecking. || The endless acid banger. || She’ll be late for work. || Air worm. || You want one and you know it. || “He ran his experiment by putting a non-toxic lipstick on his cats’ anuses.” || Just like normal people. || Shoelace knot innovation. (h/t, Things) || Always respect the media. || Repent at leisure. || A brief guide to black holes. || Glass barn for sale, $1,700,000. (h/t, Things) || Attempted super-casual door-closing of note. || The sound of fun being had. || A vision of things to come. || Incoming, not outgoing. || “Cat trapped in sofa” and other rescue dramas. || “I wanted to be in a car accident.” || I’ll just leave this here. || And finally, tastily, “I just figured the skin is thick.”

Faced with complaints from parents about the indoctrination of children, an official in Rockwood School District, Missouri, instructed teachers to create two sets of curriculum: a false one to share with parents, and then the real set of curriculum, focused on topics like activism and privilege.

These instructions were sent to all middle and high school principals in the district. “This is not being deceitful,” wrote Natalie Fallert, the official in question, before adding, “I hate that we are even having to have this conversation.” 

It occurs to me that when your solution to such complaints includes the words “so parents cannot see it,” it may be time to revisit your assumptions. A subsequent non-apology, issued by a different official when the instructions to deceive became more widely known, insisted that the school district views parents as “allies” in the education of “our children.”

An unhappy phrasing, all things considered. 

Pronouns, obviously:

You see, the tiresomeness of it all is for your own good. And besides, escape is forbidden. 

Update, via the comments:

Readers may, I suspect, have reservations. But do bear in mind that ostracising people and engaging in petty workplace spite – calling them Nazis, for instance – is so much easier when you know who they voted for. And do take a moment to consider the oppressed in this equation, by which, of course, I mean the needy and neurotic, those whose status and self-worth hinge on mouthing – and being seen and heard to mouth – the most fashionable political opinions. Now, imagine these poor souls being denied the opportunity to bore others with them, at eye-watering length, during office hours.

Consider this an open thread, in which to share links and bicker.

What? Oh yes.

Buttocks.