He Was Fondling The Tip Jar In A Suggestive Manner
Yes, it’s time to remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left, use of which almost certainly earns you a place in heaven. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last thirteen years, in close to 3,000 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year summaries, which convey the fullest flavour of what it is we do. A sort of blog concentrate. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 
The Water Supply and Sanitation Collaborative Council is evolving into the Sanitation and Hygiene Fund by 2021 to fill a void in the international response to the sanitation, hygiene, and menstrual health crisis. Working with donors and other partners, the fund aims to provide countries with the means needed to achieve menstrual health and hygiene for all.
That could be a challenge
Ping
A tip of the wallet to contribute to your hygienic needs
Tip jar ker-chinged.
Take the money but just stop fondling it.
*throws cash in jar*
*runs away*
Morning, all.
Ping
A tip of the wallet to contribute to your hygienic needs
Tip jar ker-chinged.
Take the money but just stop fondling it.
Bless you, sirs. May your experiments with time travel prove wholly successful, and not backfire horribly and with the darkest possible irony.
Tip jar hit.
Ping!
Tip jar hit.
Ping!
Bless you, sirs. May you never be confronted with a malodorous bathmat.
A tenner bunged in the tip jar. Many thanks for entertainment over the last few years !
A tenner bunged in the tip jar. Many thanks for entertainment over the last few years !
Happy to oblige. And bless you, sir. May unexpected gifts always be worth the effort of unboxing them and not require attempts at facial diplomacy.
May unexpected gifts always be worth the effort of unboxing them and not require attempts at facial diplomacy.
LOL. It’s the *thought* that counts.
Also ping!
It’s the *thought* that counts.
Well, yes, and one shouldn’t be ungrateful. It’s just sometimes a little unclear what the thought process was. I once had to feign enthusiasm for an oversized scented candle. My momentary expression of bewilderment was, I think, undetected.
Also ping!
Bless you, madam. May your ideal delivery slot always be available.
I just tinkled in your tin….
Also; doggo of Note.
I just tinkled in your tin….
Bless you, sir. May you never find yourself confronted by an acquaintance you haven’t seen in several months and who has obviously gained a lot of weight but isn’t acknowledging this fact, therefore making your own visible surprise at their new, enlarged status somewhat embarrassing.
Thanks barkeep. Tip jar hit.
Something for your trouble, barkeep. Thanks for the laughs and classy atmosphere. 🙂
Tip jar hit.
Something for your trouble, barkeep.
Bless you, sirs. Should you open all the windows on an Autumn morning, intending to air your homestead, may you never realise, much too late, that your neighbour has simultaneously decided to burn industrial quantities of garden waste, resulting in a decidedly smoke-scented living room.
and classy atmosphere
[ Hands out breath mints and deodorant. ]
A small token of my appreciation has been deposited.
Thank you for the laughs and other stuff.
A small token of my appreciation has been deposited.
Bless you, sir. May your brand-new telescopic duster not fail you on its first outing. Specifically, by emitting a loud dink noise and promptly telescoping into two entirely separate pieces that cannot be reconnected without the use of strong adhesive or possibly packing tape.
Oh cool! I’m going to be doing some Christmas shopping today so that link will be in use soon!
I’m going to be doing some Christmas shopping today so that link will be in use soon!
Bless you, madam. May your trips to the local supermarket never be enlivened by proximity to the legendary Shopper With No Spatial Awareness Whatsoever, and whose erratic stops, swerves and random reversing make anticipating their next movement all but impossible.
the legendary Shopper With No Spatial Awareness Whatsoever,
There’s always (at least) one. 🙂
There’s always (at least) one. 🙂
In my most recent encounter, it started with a sudden stop and reversal, a near-miss, and some smiling on my part so as to minimise the lady’s anticipated embarrassment. However, the Shopper With No Spatial Awareness Whatsoever went on to have another near-miss with someone else and an actual collision with someone’s legs. Before casually positioning her shopping trolley sideways in the centre of an aisle, thereby obstructing it with 98% efficiency.
. . . or for Amazon US via this link, . . .
Amazon should be about to have the idea that you want to know that someone bought a battery with you in mind . . . .
—Yes, I do trust that link about as far as I can throw it, it’s on a website, anything can come up broken with no warning or notice . . . .
Perfect timing! Was just making my Christmas list, so your Amazon US link will be getting tickled forthwith!
Was just making my Christmas list, so your Amazon US link will be getting tickled forthwith!
That’s the spirit. Tickle it ‘til it pees.
Thanks for the laughs and keeping us ‘informed’, David. Ping!
Tickle it ’til it pees.
Ah, so that must be what Jonathan meant when he said he tinkled!
Ping!
Bless you, sir. May you know the satisfaction of owning Scandinavian underwear with the brand name Endurance, which, given the product, has rather mixed connotations. Suggesting, on the one hand, sexual athleticism and, on the other, something along the lines of, “Whatever you dish out, these pants can take the punishment.”
Thanks to all who’ve chipped in so far, including all those much too shy to say hello, or who’ve subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links. It’s what keeps this place here and is much appreciated.
“Researchers at the State University of New York at New Paltz surveyed nearly 200 academics around the country and found variations according to the professors’ gender, political ideology, and department. Females, liberals, and professors of education prioritized social justice and students’ emotional well-being; males, conservatives and business professors prioritized academic rigor and knowledge advancement.”
https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/417292/
Shocked face, etc.
Shocked face, etc.
As Education courses, along with Angry Studies generally, tend to attract students with the lowest SAT scores, and lowest IQs, while simultaneously offering the most generous grading, to a degree that’s almost funny, it isn’t entirely surprising, no.
“Equity” in action. See how it shines.
Something for your wine cellar. Ping.
Are you sure that tip jar has consented?
I hate it that the US Presidential election has turned me into a conspiracy theorist. I think the numbers in the swing states are just so off that I think the election was, indeed, stolen. And no-one in the BBC, or Guardian, or Times seems to care.
I’d rather believe it wasn’t stolen, and the Orange Man lost fair and square, if only the press would investigate and show that it wasn’t fixed, but just really good luck on Biden’s part.
Long time visitor – I don’t lurk, that’s a bit creepy – and appreciate it that I’m not the only one staring at the woke world in puzzlement and, a little, fear. I think that thankfully I’m at an age when I can retire and not trying to make a career. Wrongthinkers may have a tough time ahead.
Something for your wine cellar.
Bless you, sir. May your enemies know the terror of being lost in Debenhams.
And no-one in the BBC, or Guardian, or Times seems to care.
There is, I think, a selective incuriosity. And indeed, more than that. Such that the BBC News website declared, emphatically and almost instantly, that any claims of wrongdoing are “false,” without feeling obliged to demonstrate that this is actually the case.
Long time visitor – I don’t lurk, that’s a bit creepy – and appreciate it that I’m not the only one staring at the woke world in puzzlement and, a little, fear.
I don’t know about creepy, but I sometimes have to remind myself that at any given time there are hundreds, often thousands, of people lurking in the bushes, as it were. And yes, other people’s behaviour and psychology is often puzzling. From the usual range of quirks and shortcomings that people have, to the feeling that one has stumbled into the world of Quatermass. Hence the blog, of course.
… but I sometimes have to remind myself that at any given time there are hundreds, often thousands, of people lurking in the bushes, as it were.
Now I’m feeling freaked out!
Now I’m feeling freaked out!
You should try sitting here, matey.
[ Wipes sweat from brow, checks state of hair. ]
fondling the tip jar
[searches amazon for spray bottles of hamster urine]
[ Fondling intensifies. ]
a selective incuriosity
Putting it mildly. I have read numerous articles, especially on the Guardian, which have been determinedly and unrelentingly peppered with words or phrases like false, baseless, unfounded, or without evidence, to the point that one is forced to conclude that there has been some kind of diktat handed down, requiring that no mention be made of any of Trump’s contentions regarding the security of the election that are not preceded by at least one such word. It wouldn’t surprise me if there’s a list of alternatives from which the hack must choose so that the repetition doesn’t become too glaring. Not so much selective incuriosity as concerted ignorance.
I was especially tickled when the G breathlessly quoted (I think) Karl Rove, whose pronouncements outside of the OMB context they would never report uncritically, saying that if the Democrats hadn’t bothered to steal the 2016 election, why should we be concerned about the 2020 one? This rather overlooks the complacency and entitlement with which Democrats approached the 2016 election, never for a second contriving to envisage the victory of a deplorable such as Trump. A different matter in 2020. Nothing was more important than Trump’s ejection.
And no-one in the BBC, or Guardian, or Times seems to care.
The left in general has reacted predictably:
“There absolutely was no fraud!”
Became:
“The amount of fraud that may have happened didn’t matter!”
Became:
“So what if it was enough to matter! The Orange Man is bad!”
Always remember:
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did… you deserved it.
You should try sitting here, matey.
I’ve calmed down a bit now, thanks to finding this laughing Duck.
You’re welcome.
When you eat something that Disagrees with you:
Happy to support the upkeep of this fine establishment.
Happy to support the upkeep of this fine establishment.
Bless you, sir. When rummaging through old junk in search of things to deposit at the local charity shop, may you discover forgotten pleasures. Say, Hounds of Love by Kate Bush and a DVD of The Larry Sanders Show.
[Clicks over to “Babushka”, then “Suspended in Gaffa”]
I liked the dog. I like border collies in general. They’re all crazy, but they seem to enjoy their own craziness so much. SJWs could take a lesson from them. I suppose we all could.
They didn’t seem to be crazy, only hyperactive, until the AKC got its hands on them. The big border collie association in America fought the AKC but I believe they st, at least on the important breeding issues.
The Larry Sanders Show
I read that as The Garry Shandling Show, which brought back some pleasant memories.
I read that as The Garry Shandling Show, which brought back some pleasant memories.
We’re now re-watching the entire run of Larry Sanders.
Peter Robinson interviews Douglas Murray.
Brown women go for walk, immediately applaud selves as daring, heroic.
Brown women go for walk, immediately applaud selves as daring, heroic.
But if a bunch of whitefellas go a-walkin’ into black Africa with the goal of making it more inclusive, suddenly that’s colonialism!
Sport England research identifies six barriers to participation in outdoor activities for people from an ethnic minority background: language, awareness, safety, culture, confidence and perception of middle-class stigma.
Nothing worse than acting like wypipo.
Brown women go for walk, immediately applaud selves as daring, heroic.
It’s the same over on this side of the pond. Part of me wonders if this is because, perhaps, the sorts of people who get lumped into BIPOC and BAME and other weird acronyms tend to cluster in cities, where it’s a bit of a pain to get out to the wild places. And maybe they simply enjoy other activities. And perhaps, these barriers to the Great Outdoors come from inside their BIPOC and BAME communities? I’m pretty sure there’s no whitey only parks anywhere.
I am stuck in a city at the moment, and not in the best of neighborhoods, so I have not been doing my usual walking, which irks me to no end. I don’t ramble about the campus anymore since it became full of mask nazis and I refuse to wear one outdoors. There’s a park a few miles away, but parking is insane, and it’ enough to keep me from going. And I generally don’t go to parks where I have to pay to get in. So I can see why a lot of people would not be found hiking on trails and such, but it has nothing to do with racism or sexism, so I guess I’m thinking wrong again.
If these people didn’t oppress the hell out of themselves, they’d be hardly oppressed at all, and we can’t have that, can we.
Nothing worse than acting like wypipo.
I think we’ll give that one a post of its own.
Comments thataway.
I’ve scheduled a regular offering to the Goddess of the Spam Filter. I hope it’s enough to appease her.
I’ve scheduled a regular offering to the Goddess of the Spam Filter.
She’s a capricious deity, but the first-born child should do it. And bless you, sir. May your drawers remain tidy and organised.
First time using PayPal. Hope you got my small donation. 🙂
Hope you got my small donation.
I did indeed. And bless you, madam. May your hands be spared the adhesive horrors of raw chicken residue.
Usually I prefer eye contact, but here you go. Also what the hell is a pound
Usually I prefer eye contact, but here you go.
Bless you, sir. May you never blunder into the middle of a short queue and stand there obliviously for several seconds before realising that you have in fact blundered into the middle of said queue, not the back of it, as is the custom, and that the person behind you, who should strictly speaking be in front of you, is much too polite to say anything about it. Resulting in an awkwardly belated and mutually embarrassing apology.
Also what the hell is a pound
About 250 American dollars.
What?
May your drawers remain tidy and organised.
Is that drawers as in a place where you put things, the kind you wear, or both ?
Is that drawers as in a place where you put things, the kind you wear, or both ?
[ Peers over spectacles. ]
Well whatever the exchange rate, you deserve it. I’ve tried to do what you do, a little, and it’s hard godd@mned work. You’ve been the same guy all along, which is its own sort of magic trick. Love from Texas
I’ve tried to do what you do, a little, and it’s hard godd@mned work.
I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Could you say it again, ONLY MUCH, MUCH LOUDER?
I believe he observed that you’re not much crazier now than when you began. What that says about the sort of chap who embarks on such a journey in the first place is left as an exercise for the reader.
Heh.
It slowly dawns on me that this entire enterprise is really just a 13-year performance art piece. You’ve been naked this whole time, haven’t you?
It slowly dawns on me that this entire enterprise is really just a 13-year performance art piece. You’ve been naked this whole time, haven’t you?
[ Applies talc. ]
Chafing: the real enemy
I’d have forgotten this by Friday Ephemera time, so apols if it’s OT, but it made me guffaw, by George
https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/124421761003
so apols if it’s OT,
It’s an open thread, so there ain’t much that’s off-topic.
If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me, top left, and I’ll poke about in the spam filter.
You’ve been naked this whole time, haven’t you?
Not always. He has a blogging thong.
HONK! HONK!
Sorry, I mean Ping.
this entire enterprise is really just a 13-year performance art piece
It’s a leftist version of Titania McGrath. David is really Laurie Penny.
Ping!
HONK! HONK!
Ping!
Bless you, sir, and bless you, madam. May your towels dry with pleasing rapidity.
This is a little corner of sanity in a mad world, David. Thanks. ‘Ping’.
This is a little corner of sanity in a mad world, David. Thanks. ‘Ping’.
Bless you, sir. May you never find yourself being offered a free manicure, courtesy of your niece, “for practice.”
How did the manicure come out?
Were there ever trading stamps in GB? If not, they were these proprietary stamps—S & H Green Stamps were one brand—you got with your groceries. I think it was 10 or 20 cents worth per dollar spent at the grocery store . You pasted them into a booklet and when you had filled enough booklets you could go to the Stamp Center and exchange them for an item. The clock on our wall, that we inherited, came from a stamp center.
One day as I dozed off on a couch I felt year-old Sonkitten patting my arm, affectionately, as I thought. I woke up to find a neat line of Green Stamps pasted along my arm. His grandparents had been sitting right there through the whole show and enjoyed it so much that Mom was willing to sacrifice the stamps!
Pop quiz, hotshots. What excitable organization, from what non-American nation, issued the following statement? Read it closely:
“As a group of people, we [blank] are enraged about the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer who swore to protect him. This shocking event, as well as the ignorant statements by white apologists and the police brutality that have followed protests, have focused our attention on this brutality and injustice. We reject the racism that persists against Black and Indigenous people, as well as others, here in [blank] every day.”
(A) Melbourne Law School, Australia
(B) Le Gavroche restaurant, UK
(C) Democratic Labour Party, Brazil
(D) Your sister-in-law’s online jewelry business, UK
(E) Federal mortgage and housing department, Canada
(F) ArtisanalSneakers, Sweden
(G) Anti-Sculpture League, Australian chapter
(H) Royal Canadian Legion, Quebec
(I) Black Lives Matter, Iceland
(J) Anti-Defamation League, Lebanon
Trick question! (E) is technically the (angry, nonsensical) answer.
https://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/en/media-newsroom/notices/2020/our-commitment-black-lives-matter
But these orgs, even the fictional ones, all give identical thumbs-down to foreign racism, in indistinguishable syntax, while mimicking Yankee institutions via tearful self-blame: our museum/ union/ charity/ lawnmowing business has been, and continues to be, bigoted as fuck. *We* aren’t as awful as Americans: we’re *worse.*
If you don’t think that’s hilarious, let me offer you a white apology – whatever the hell that is.
How did the manicure come out?
With a mix of politeness and tremendous cunning, I talked my way out of it. Instead, The Other Half took one for the team.
Here’s a modest contribution to the Christmas decoration fund.
That pickled egg jar will look so much more festive with a bit of red and silver tinsel wrapped round it.
If there’s anything left over, that’s for the tip jar.
Here’s a modest contribution to the Christmas decoration fund.
Bless you, sir. May you know the triumph of evenly toasted toast.
[ Starts flicking through upscale shoe catalogue. ]
https://www.facebook.com/Continental-Manor-154486824590793/videos/residents-had-fun-deer-hunting-today/429748998185048/
Care Home of note.
So how’d The Other Half’s manicure come out?
So how’d The Other Half’s manicure come out?
Hands intact. More than that, I couldn’t say.
*pings tip jar*
Thank you, David
*pings tip jar*
Bless you, sir. May you never find yourself with smeary spectacles, due to the tongue of an affectionate dog, moments after giving the lens wipe that you keep in your wallet to someone else.
the lens wipe that you keep in your wallet
Yeah, right. That’s what you say the bulge in your wallet is.
Thanks for the top blogging (and great comment threads).
Token of appreciation on its way.
Token of appreciation on its way.
Bless you, sir. May your ceramic hob remain unblemished, even after cooking chili or a no-trimming-spared Sunday roast.
Ping!
Ping!
Bless you, sir. May you know the thrill of idly peering in a cupboard and spotting a large bar of chocolate that you bought the previous week and had somehow, rather implausibly, forgotten about.
My comments, like Christmas, come but once a year, if that.
Ping!
[Straightens tie in anticipation of blessing.]