He Was Fondling The Tip Jar In A Suggestive Manner
Yes, it’s time to remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left, use of which almost certainly earns you a place in heaven. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last thirteen years, in close to 3,000 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year summaries, which convey the fullest flavour of what it is we do. A sort of blog concentrate. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 
The Larry Sanders Show
I read that as The Garry Shandling Show, which brought back some pleasant memories.
I read that as The Garry Shandling Show, which brought back some pleasant memories.
We’re now re-watching the entire run of Larry Sanders.
Peter Robinson interviews Douglas Murray.
Brown women go for walk, immediately applaud selves as daring, heroic.
Brown women go for walk, immediately applaud selves as daring, heroic.
But if a bunch of whitefellas go a-walkin’ into black Africa with the goal of making it more inclusive, suddenly that’s colonialism!
Sport England research identifies six barriers to participation in outdoor activities for people from an ethnic minority background: language, awareness, safety, culture, confidence and perception of middle-class stigma.
Nothing worse than acting like wypipo.
Brown women go for walk, immediately applaud selves as daring, heroic.
It’s the same over on this side of the pond. Part of me wonders if this is because, perhaps, the sorts of people who get lumped into BIPOC and BAME and other weird acronyms tend to cluster in cities, where it’s a bit of a pain to get out to the wild places. And maybe they simply enjoy other activities. And perhaps, these barriers to the Great Outdoors come from inside their BIPOC and BAME communities? I’m pretty sure there’s no whitey only parks anywhere.
I am stuck in a city at the moment, and not in the best of neighborhoods, so I have not been doing my usual walking, which irks me to no end. I don’t ramble about the campus anymore since it became full of mask nazis and I refuse to wear one outdoors. There’s a park a few miles away, but parking is insane, and it’ enough to keep me from going. And I generally don’t go to parks where I have to pay to get in. So I can see why a lot of people would not be found hiking on trails and such, but it has nothing to do with racism or sexism, so I guess I’m thinking wrong again.
If these people didn’t oppress the hell out of themselves, they’d be hardly oppressed at all, and we can’t have that, can we.
Nothing worse than acting like wypipo.
I think we’ll give that one a post of its own.
Comments thataway.
I’ve scheduled a regular offering to the Goddess of the Spam Filter. I hope it’s enough to appease her.
I’ve scheduled a regular offering to the Goddess of the Spam Filter.
She’s a capricious deity, but the first-born child should do it. And bless you, sir. May your drawers remain tidy and organised.
First time using PayPal. Hope you got my small donation. 🙂
Hope you got my small donation.
I did indeed. And bless you, madam. May your hands be spared the adhesive horrors of raw chicken residue.
Usually I prefer eye contact, but here you go. Also what the hell is a pound
Usually I prefer eye contact, but here you go.
Bless you, sir. May you never blunder into the middle of a short queue and stand there obliviously for several seconds before realising that you have in fact blundered into the middle of said queue, not the back of it, as is the custom, and that the person behind you, who should strictly speaking be in front of you, is much too polite to say anything about it. Resulting in an awkwardly belated and mutually embarrassing apology.
Also what the hell is a pound
About 250 American dollars.
What?
May your drawers remain tidy and organised.
Is that drawers as in a place where you put things, the kind you wear, or both ?
Is that drawers as in a place where you put things, the kind you wear, or both ?
[ Peers over spectacles. ]
Well whatever the exchange rate, you deserve it. I’ve tried to do what you do, a little, and it’s hard godd@mned work. You’ve been the same guy all along, which is its own sort of magic trick. Love from Texas
I’ve tried to do what you do, a little, and it’s hard godd@mned work.
I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Could you say it again, ONLY MUCH, MUCH LOUDER?
I believe he observed that you’re not much crazier now than when you began. What that says about the sort of chap who embarks on such a journey in the first place is left as an exercise for the reader.
Heh.
It slowly dawns on me that this entire enterprise is really just a 13-year performance art piece. You’ve been naked this whole time, haven’t you?
It slowly dawns on me that this entire enterprise is really just a 13-year performance art piece. You’ve been naked this whole time, haven’t you?
[ Applies talc. ]
Chafing: the real enemy
I’d have forgotten this by Friday Ephemera time, so apols if it’s OT, but it made me guffaw, by George
https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/124421761003
so apols if it’s OT,
It’s an open thread, so there ain’t much that’s off-topic.
If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me, top left, and I’ll poke about in the spam filter.
You’ve been naked this whole time, haven’t you?
Not always. He has a blogging thong.
HONK! HONK!
Sorry, I mean Ping.
this entire enterprise is really just a 13-year performance art piece
It’s a leftist version of Titania McGrath. David is really Laurie Penny.
Ping!
HONK! HONK!
Ping!
Bless you, sir, and bless you, madam. May your towels dry with pleasing rapidity.
This is a little corner of sanity in a mad world, David. Thanks. ‘Ping’.
This is a little corner of sanity in a mad world, David. Thanks. ‘Ping’.
Bless you, sir. May you never find yourself being offered a free manicure, courtesy of your niece, “for practice.”
How did the manicure come out?
Were there ever trading stamps in GB? If not, they were these proprietary stamps—S & H Green Stamps were one brand—you got with your groceries. I think it was 10 or 20 cents worth per dollar spent at the grocery store . You pasted them into a booklet and when you had filled enough booklets you could go to the Stamp Center and exchange them for an item. The clock on our wall, that we inherited, came from a stamp center.
One day as I dozed off on a couch I felt year-old Sonkitten patting my arm, affectionately, as I thought. I woke up to find a neat line of Green Stamps pasted along my arm. His grandparents had been sitting right there through the whole show and enjoyed it so much that Mom was willing to sacrifice the stamps!
Pop quiz, hotshots. What excitable organization, from what non-American nation, issued the following statement? Read it closely:
“As a group of people, we [blank] are enraged about the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer who swore to protect him. This shocking event, as well as the ignorant statements by white apologists and the police brutality that have followed protests, have focused our attention on this brutality and injustice. We reject the racism that persists against Black and Indigenous people, as well as others, here in [blank] every day.”
(A) Melbourne Law School, Australia
(B) Le Gavroche restaurant, UK
(C) Democratic Labour Party, Brazil
(D) Your sister-in-law’s online jewelry business, UK
(E) Federal mortgage and housing department, Canada
(F) ArtisanalSneakers, Sweden
(G) Anti-Sculpture League, Australian chapter
(H) Royal Canadian Legion, Quebec
(I) Black Lives Matter, Iceland
(J) Anti-Defamation League, Lebanon
Trick question! (E) is technically the (angry, nonsensical) answer.
https://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/en/media-newsroom/notices/2020/our-commitment-black-lives-matter
But these orgs, even the fictional ones, all give identical thumbs-down to foreign racism, in indistinguishable syntax, while mimicking Yankee institutions via tearful self-blame: our museum/ union/ charity/ lawnmowing business has been, and continues to be, bigoted as fuck. *We* aren’t as awful as Americans: we’re *worse.*
If you don’t think that’s hilarious, let me offer you a white apology – whatever the hell that is.
How did the manicure come out?
With a mix of politeness and tremendous cunning, I talked my way out of it. Instead, The Other Half took one for the team.
Here’s a modest contribution to the Christmas decoration fund.
That pickled egg jar will look so much more festive with a bit of red and silver tinsel wrapped round it.
If there’s anything left over, that’s for the tip jar.
Here’s a modest contribution to the Christmas decoration fund.
Bless you, sir. May you know the triumph of evenly toasted toast.
[ Starts flicking through upscale shoe catalogue. ]
https://www.facebook.com/Continental-Manor-154486824590793/videos/residents-had-fun-deer-hunting-today/429748998185048/
Care Home of note.
So how’d The Other Half’s manicure come out?
So how’d The Other Half’s manicure come out?
Hands intact. More than that, I couldn’t say.
*pings tip jar*
Thank you, David
*pings tip jar*
Bless you, sir. May you never find yourself with smeary spectacles, due to the tongue of an affectionate dog, moments after giving the lens wipe that you keep in your wallet to someone else.
the lens wipe that you keep in your wallet
Yeah, right. That’s what you say the bulge in your wallet is.
Thanks for the top blogging (and great comment threads).
Token of appreciation on its way.
Token of appreciation on its way.
Bless you, sir. May your ceramic hob remain unblemished, even after cooking chili or a no-trimming-spared Sunday roast.
Ping!
Ping!
Bless you, sir. May you know the thrill of idly peering in a cupboard and spotting a large bar of chocolate that you bought the previous week and had somehow, rather implausibly, forgotten about.
My comments, like Christmas, come but once a year, if that.
Ping!
[Straightens tie in anticipation of blessing.]