Friday Ephemera (794)
Regarding wrinkles. || He speaks Russian. || Not quite grasping the convention. || No, I don’t think that’s something I’d care to normalise, thank you. || She’s trying out her new labels and has self-diagnosed as an amputee. || She won’t be elaborating on that statement. || About your bottom. || The sounds of suburbia. || His shot is better than yours. || Minutes from the border. (h/t, Stephanie) || It’s what he would’ve wanted. || He doesn’t identify as white, because that’s a thing you can do now. || Simulator of note. || Think of it as a challenge. || Her thirst detected. || A passion for pebbles. || The unspanked commute. || “Apply and lie,” says she. || Perfect slices every time. || The progressive retail experience, parts 684, 685 and 686. || Child rotation. || Tourists, 1864. || It fits two to four people.
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Become a corvid or a penguin or a swan or a Canada goose. Those species are not sexually dimorphic.
Or, and here’s a radical idea… accept the fact that you belong to a sexually dimorphic species and that following a social fad that tries to obscure that fact is not going to lead you to a good place.
Paging Captain Hazelwood.
But, but, but . . . if she does that how will anyone know she’s special?
And yet she films her little cri du coeur wearing makeup, a snug sweater, and her gamine haircut all moussed to perfection.
Look, sweetie. I’m a woman who’s actually tall (about an inch shy of 6′, while you’re maybe 5’8″ at best), and wears her hair short, her clothes loose, and her makeup nonexistent. Think Brienne of Tarth’s little sister. I’ve been mistaken for a guy plenty of times, but 99% of the time people get it right — just as they’re doing with you.
You’re a woman and you’re not fooling anyone otherwise. Grow up.
I’m guessing that’s her actual problem.
Hey, this
secondthird gin and tonic is pretty good.[ Squeezes lime wedge in a suggestive manner. ]
I dunno…maybe stop competing in Liza Minelli look alike contests?