Progressive Dining Protocol
From the realm of the tightly-wound and twitchy, how to eat out while being a needy, neurotic, self-dramatising pinhead:
You can go into any restaurant and ask to be served by an ally or trans positive person.
And you can leave if the restaurant is playing Fox News. Most importantly, you can smugly eat chips while you make a video. pic.twitter.com/lq3lcmy5LS
— Dr. Jebra Faushay (@JebraFaushay) February 11, 2025
So far as I can make out, the rules are as follows.
First, you should expect the restaurant’s serving staff to be conveniently categorised by their sexual inclinations or some other “ally” attribute, as if that weren’t presumptuous and intrusive – and, you know, weird. And should a pleasingly downtrodden identity be available – and said person dragged into your luminous presence – then you can bestow upon them your glorious and not-at-all-self-serving affirmation.
Naturally, you should make sure everyone sees. And hey, who wouldn’t want to be wheeled out as a prop, an accessory, for someone else’s attention-seeking project?
Oh, and then – but of course – you video yourself talking, with a mouth full of food, about how morally superior you are, before uploading this proof of your own magnificence to social media. Where applause will surely follow.
Please update your files and lifestyles accordingly.
Also, open thread.
[ Compiles tomorrow’s Ephemera. ]
[ Muffled chuckling. ]
Deep thoughts.
She’s letting you know you’re safe, ladies.
Sometimes the story telling in the New York Times cracks me up. This is part of the story about the shuttering of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Liz Warren’s pet project. Poor Taylor! He was hired less than a year ago by the Bureau but since his college days, he’s made it his MISSION to work there. Remotely, of course.
His MISSION!
It’s not working.
Were I walking alone along a woodland trail, the prospect of a mentally ill woman lunging in my direction and showing off her self-mutilation scars, even as some kind of joke, would not, I suspect, put me at ease.
But maybe that’s just me.
Deep thoughts.
Deep Thoughts™, Part II.
Canada strikes back!
And in That-Thing-That-Never-Happens news.
I mean, it has been a couple of days since it last Never Happened.
Questions are raised about the people who voted for her.
That’s why my wife won’t RTFM. Can’t manage to open the pickle jars either. And why, according to Perplexity, “As of July 1, 2023, Manitoba had a male-to-female ratio of 102.1 men for every 100 women,”
59 comments, time for a doge pic.
I have just completed a walk around the block.
Don’t all applaud at once.
So what has the Deep Blue party been up to lately?
Defending and refusing to turn over illegal alien murderers.
Defending waste, fraud and abuse in the federal government and getting a judge to issue a temporary restraining order..
Defending USAID slush funds as vital to save the world.
Ignoring evidence of gov $ going to the BBC, NYT, Politico.
Violating new Exec Orders by hiding DEI positions and sending money to house illegals.
It is such a charming look. I love how their recent protests have had tens of people in attendance. It is rather like Oz when Dorothy pulled back the curtain.
Question asked.
As well as it protects free speech?
It’s not his looks so much as his political ideology that makes the comparison plausible – though, comparing pictures of Pierre and pictures of Fidel, it doesn’t seem that far-fetched to think more than an ideological connection is there.
Top… men.
It’s a bit of genius to get these deranged, geriatric, lefties outside yelling at clouds – it lets the adults get on with business inside.
There is insufficient room in Hell for those who’ve done this to children they were entrusted with.
Down boy!
Not counting student loans . . .
Huh?
WTP: I have half a drawerful of assorted devices, mechanical and non-, for opening stuff. Would be happy to share with your wife. Also have endless recommendations for random jar/bottle opening techniques, minimal device involvement, Pro tip: my current fave for pickle jars is a strap wrench. Even-more-Pro-Tip: DON’T overpower when using unless pickle juice everywhere is deemed a desirable result.
Yes, I could get the Spousal Unit to do it, and I concede it would probably take less time and involve fewer devices and widely dispersed pickle juice, But I’m a stubborn cow, so I heroically Go It Alone.
Inspiration for wives everywhere? Dire warning? Their call, I guess.
Not entirely unrelated. Chappie’s default smug-face is quite a thing.
If Mr Smugface looks familiar, you may be thinking of this.
From the comments following this.
From the same article:
It doesn’t seem a stretch to think Farnell is looking to create his own . . . entertainment.
Sympathy doesn’t really seem in order.
Chappie’s nails-on-a-chalkboard voice is grounds for acquittal.
It is amusing, in a grim fashion, to see the reaction of these enuretic totalitarians to resistance.
@Megaera, try this for opening jars. I have, & use, one inherited from my grandmother.
Interesting: why didn’t Trump ban girls in boys sports/lockers? Because 1) no matter how much T they take, they don’t win events and 2) boys are not afraid of girls claiming to be men in their “spaces”. girls/boys differ, who knew?
Aelfheld: you know, I have one. In the drawer. I dimly remember getting it for my mother, who complained endlessly about my father’s lack of instant response to her container-related woes. It stayed in HER drawer (along with my other offered solutions, until her death, when they all passed back to me. Glad for the endorsement, will give it a try on my next olive jar (fewer obvious consequences for overpowering than, say, sauerkraut. Or garlic pickles.)
Jars: if you run the jar under hot water but just the lid as far as possible, the metal expands more than the glass, and is easier to open.
Restaurant: I for one do not want to know the sexual orientation of my server. They are handling my food, FFS.
Video this post: I would submit that the ability of narcissists to post vids of themselves virtue signaling (or playing out their fetish) is one of the worst outcomes of the interwebs.
[ Looks for bottle of wine to open using sheer manly force. ]
Live dangerously, David — go for a bottle of garlic-infused vinegar. What with all the flexing and stretching of late the results ought to be impressive.
This how to open wine bottles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCp9-tEHa8U
I did once manage to catapult a large quantity of natural yoghurt onto the kitchen ceiling. That one took some explaining.
@Megaera, try this for opening jars. I have, & use, one inherited from my grandmother.
The twisting motion can be hard on wrists. One of these is much easier.
But probably not inherited from your grandmother, I agree though, the likelihood of breaking that lid/jar vacuum is close to 100%,
Of course, so is the likelihood of ceiling involvement.
Still. Technology Rules!!
Just a few, minor, bugs to be worked out.
Yes, that type works very well. I wish I had inherited my mother’s, as all the ones on Amazon have their share of “it broke” reviews, presumably because they are Chinese or have plastic parts.
Didn’t know Disney had
pissed all overremade Peter Pan.This drive to befoul the work of their betters is not the mark of healthy minds.
Were it not for compelled speech, chappie, there would be no Jordan Peterson. Think about THAT.
Dicentra: Were it not for compelled speech, chappie, there would be no Jordan Peterson. Think about THAT.
indeed. By going too far, they created great warriors: Trump, Peterson, Rogan, Musk who would have been happy with their life as it was. It is a classic of fiction and the Hero’s story (that Peterson talks about) that the hero does not necessarily set out to be a hero but is confronted with evil and responds to it by becoming a hero. The Indiana Jones stories tap into that dynamic. 2020-2024 were Trump’s years in the wilderness after which he emerged with a purified and intense vision of what he must do. If the Left is shocked, they created it.
Thus revealing that it was never about safety, or “love of the sport”. It was about protecting access to those sweet, sweet athletic scholarships that only exist because of Title IX lawfare.
Some of the most popular sporting events of the Olympics are women’s gymnastics and women’s ice skating. Women’s tennis is a crowd pleaser, too.
But yeah, during k-12 school, let’s not let girls have a go at sports — and when they do, let’s just steal their funds for the boys because they can’t beat the boys anyway.
Been there saw it when I was in high school pre-title IX.
Even a blind pig finds an acorn:
And you can leave if the restaurant is playing Fox News.
I certainly would. (Or CNN, CNBC, MSNBC, Al-Jazeera, Bloomberg, etc.) Because I find all news shows irritating at any time, and even more so when I want to enjoy some food.
Freudian slip?
Don’t try crushing that can against your forehead. It’s made of steel not aluminum.
aelfheld,
We were instructed that the post-1982 Charter of Rights would do that. It doesn’t, as you may have observed. Pre-Charter court decisions like Alberta Statutes were more protective of civil rights – particularly free expression on public matters – than post-1982 ones.
I cannot imagine why that would be. (Pro tip: it’s not because of the athleticism on display)
So what you’re saying is, I’m a lobster?