Friday Ephemera (722)
Sex scene. || Soccer rethought. || An “activity book” for six-year-olds. || Our betters discuss crime. Alternative positions here, here, and here. || Keep ’em coming. || Cultural commentary. || Job candidate. || Don is a spankologist. || Downdraught detected. || If you don’t date trans people, you’re a “transphobe,” but if you do, you’re a “fetishist.” || Today’s word is tarsorrhaphy. || She has a wand. || He was approached by a Venusian while he was washing the dishes. || Low-meat diets and mental illness. || Décor. || Sweet dreams. || One for devotees of cheesy, low-budget trash. || Chloe wants you to relax. || “What is going on, New York?” || Nick of time. || A game about underpants. || Family fun times. || Young love, first kiss. || And finally, in good-fortune news, finders keepers.
Update, via the comments: A musical interlude, on the word dildo.
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Interviewer: “Now when he [The Venusian] came into your room through the locked door with his ordinary physical body did he resemble any other human inhabitant of this planet?”
Nutter: “Yes – he bore striking resemblance to Fred next door who comes in to water our plants when we are away”
I imagine.
The … “dildo” arose in 16th Century England, and for decades was used as a filler.
The hell you say!
Should anyone be wary of clicking the link – and I can’t imagine why – I can assure you, it’s actually quite charming.
[ Does innocent face. ]
The playground lady looks scary.
Not quite the word.
[ Softens lighting to make innocent face more convincing. ]
On the word dildo.
Where did the town get its name?
It’s only a matter of time before he does something horrific.
Prisons: Incentives do matter at least to some people. Many people are deterred by the fear of prison. If no one actually goes to prison, more people will commit crimes The second benefit of prison is to keep murderers away from us. The third purpose is to make people feel that there is justice. Feeling that the world is unjust is very demoralizing to a society (as in dictatorships/communist countries).
Not only is dating trans a fetish, but white (men in particular) who date or marry asians have “yellow fever” which is also a fetish and they should not do it. Of course refusing to date asians is racist. hahaha did anyone think they could win this game?
That’s exactly how I would’ve done it.
The winner is the one who’s suckered you into playing.
Be more impressive if Glory to Hong Kong was the soundtrack.
Suboptimal design choice.
using tabletop roleplaying games to work on social anxiety, bullying, prejudice, and family dynamics, among other issues
Much of the enshittification of the tabletop gaming hobby has resulted from turning the thing into a kind of ersatz therapy session. By their very nature, games like D&D have always attracted the insecure, the socially maladroit, and those with a weak sense of self; untrained, mentally ill people suborning the game sessions into expressions of their own coping mechanisms takes it to a whole ‘nother level.
According to Hamilton, “It’s around this age when kids are starting to realize they can’t rely on their parents for the rest of lives for their survival. They have to rely on their community.” This is why, she says, teenagers’ friends’ opinions often matter more to them than those of their parents. “They are trying to establish their identity. What do I want to be when I grow up? How do I fit into this world? Are these people I want to be around? Is this the personality I want? Is this the sexuality or gender expression I want?”
Sorry, allow me to correct myself – untrained, mentally ill groomers.
Where did the town get its name?
Many of the stores I frequent will ask customers for their postal code at check out as a way of determining where their shoppers are coming from. One of my favourite things to do is to give them my postal code as A0B 1P0, a postal code in Dildo, Newfoundland.
I’m hoping some marketing guy at head office is sniggering while combing through the data. But that’s just me, spreading sunshine wherever I go.
“The first formally undocumented African born immigrant & first Muslim elected in the city of Boston” wants to restructure America “so that it’s welcoming.”
The cognitive dissonance has not been measured at this time.
I think trans people are special. I want trans people to be launched on a spaceship to travel to another planet so they can get things organized and set up for the rest of us who will be arriving on a later ship.
Our white liberals should also be launched on a spaceship.
Close enough.
Well, he’s no Marc Martel but possibly part Elton what with the shoes.
Yeah, those shoes are carrying the entire act.
When we finally get our as-yet-unnamed band up and running, we’re going to have to give some thought to crowd-wowing footwear.
Oh how timely; i stumbled across this list I was keeping just in case…
Unexpected Scrotum
Pile of Woke Poo
Borborygmus
Unloved Sausage Roll
Polygamist Women Dressed Like Ninjas
Spaghetti Hoops
Unsolicited Nudes
Piles of Inapt Words
Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Violent Logic
Niche Pornography
The Terrible Stains
Disarticulated Sex Dolls
Monet’s Virtual Garden
Big Women from Borneo
Hairless Rubberbeing
Noisy Cock Anger
The Gratuitous Plurals
Faecal Disimpaction
Heath N. Bakwaddrr
It hasn’t been updated recently though.
Last time I checked, we had over 500 possibilities. Still holding out for Meat Tissue.
Or, I Dare Anal.
Or, The Folks At Big Vagina.
Or…
Well, we’ll be here all chuffing night.
Don’t forget to tip the waiter.
That guy’s accent is almost exactly like the one an ex-boss once had. Is that Cambridge or Oxford or both? I think his father taught at one of those places.
I think you mean barkeep. Don’t forget to tip the barkeep.
Wait a minute. Aren’t you supposed to be out buying a car?
Microplastics have been detected in male testicles.
30% of such primary microplastics are estimated to come from tires.
So the question arises . . . which factor is of primary importance?
And is a road hazard warranty advisable?
Again, again…they won’t be paying that debt. If he’s clear about anything…anything…Brandon was very clear about that recently.
Microplastics have been detected in male testicles.
I’d be more concerned if I found testicles in my microplastics. But that’s just me.
Subaru Outback. Wife’s new car after 12 years of Rav4. We’re sitting here going over the users’ manual now. I can’t decide if it will be committing suicide or shot trying to escape. I kid. A little…So there’s a new feature on all new cars that I was blissfully unaware of that we are pouring through the manual and googling. Auto Start-Stop. Wife hates it. I mean…hates it. Not crazy about it meself but…but…you cannot turn the damn thing off. I mean, yes, you can turn it off…every time you start the car. But turn the car off and turn it on again and the “feature” is turned back on. Fortunately…”fortunately” there seems to be a device that you can purchase for like $100 that remembers the previous setting. AIUI this “feature” is on ALL new cars. Other than that, she loves it. She doesn’t understand one tenth of what it does or can do but she loves it. Well, except for that one thing. So far. So…metaphor for something?
More aphorism than metaphor – never trust any technology more complicated than a knife.
My mother didn’t like how the word ‘gay’ for homosexuality had been usurped, and saying the word ‘homosexual’ is quite a…um…mouthful and awkward. So her compromise in describing men who were that way, like her cousin Earnest, was “He’s a bit ‘la-dee-dah'”. Now I can’t get the idea out of my head that if my mother lived in 16th century England…
Microplastics have been detected in male testicles.
…
So the question arises . . . which factor is of primary importance?
When it comes to testicles, I think handling is likely the most important. Although I would not say no to a little wet braking and hydroplaning. And, not to brag, but mine have excellent ride comfort.
It’s a good thing that this place has a … mature clientele.
Every time we go to the grocery store I sooo want to start a band for the sole purpose of producing an album titled Art Is Anal Cheese. Makes for a decent pizza as well.
Well personally, I appreciate a good toe out on the rear.
David, do you have special plans for next Friday’s anniversary of the Glorious First of June?
Let’s make it 600.
Sexagenarian Scrotum Inflaters.
Mother and son arrested for attempted carjacking on Chicago’s West Side.
Something to remember when you hear “He was a good boy! He din do nuffin!”
Subaru Outback.
“How Subarus Became the Car for Lesbians.“
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[ Tries to not make eye contact with Henchlesbians ]
Heh. When she said she was interested in a Subaru, I teased her about that. I was pushing for an Acura but it was going to be her car, bought with money her mother left when she passed last year. We actually looked at Subarus 12 years ago when we ultimately bought the Rav4. They were far more utilitarian vehicles back then and def more a lesbian feel. We need AWD to get up our driveway when it’s wet and Subaru’s have that as standard. We looked at them again a few months ago and were impressed. Much more comfortable feel. The dentist who was staying next door to us in FL had one and his wife had the Crosstech. They were big fans. The user interface stuff on new cars is very overwhelming for my wife and the Subaru seemed a bit more manageable for her than the Acuras/Hondas we looked at last year.
But this damn Start Stop crap…I haven’t been processing the general stupidity very well lately, getting new doctors and dentist, building a new addition to the house, stuff associated with that, and having to deal with God-knows-what next, and this stupid…”feature”…didn’t help much. If the $100 thing works out, well nbd but it seems like an unnecessary hack that…well, what might go wrong with that?
From this interview.
When she said she was interested in a Subaru, I teased her about that.
My brother-in-law just bought a Subaru, he’s definitely a lesbian–he loves women. My sister-in-law, an actual lesbian, bought a VW.
But this damn Start Stop crap…
Have you been unfortunate enough to test the anti-lock brakes? I had to use them for the first time yesterday when someone stopped short in front of me for no reason. When the brakes finally fully engage and the car stops moving, the car puts itself into neutral. Freaked me out when I tried to start driving again and the car wouldn’t move. The start stop you’ll get used to.
Note that the speakers’ oddly uniform views are markers of social status, of in-group belonging. That their shared worldview bears little relation to reality, or to how dangerous criminals actually behave – in their own words – doesn’t seem to matter. What matters, to the speakers, is signalling their own status as Higher Beings. This is their progressive piety.
“It makes no sense,” they opine, “to hold someone responsible” for their sociopathic tendencies, their utter selfishness, or their repeated criminal predation. And so, if someone should carjack you, or break into your home, you are somehow not the victim, not the injured party. The perpetrator, the habitual home invader, is, it seems, the one deserving of “compassion” and “restoration.”
While you, the actual victim – the one being assaulted and stolen from, the one whose home is being violated – can apparently go fuck yourself.
This, then, is wokeness. This is “social justice.”
This is DARVO.
Classic Cluster B reversal.
It’s pretentious, perverse, unmoored from reality, and insulting to the real-world victims of such behaviour. Adopted widely, such a worldview actually puts innocent people in danger. And we’re expected to applaud it, as if it were caring and sophisticated.
One. More. Time.
Speaking of status.