Insert Coin For Dancing Monkey

Coin inserted. Thanks, barkeep.

Ping!

Bless you, sir, and bless you, madam. May you never spend two minutes looking for your phone, bewildered, only to find it sitting on the charger, on your desk, where you put it, four minutes earlier.

PING!

Tip jar hit.

Bless you, sirs. May your lunchtime hot roast pork sandwich never be adorned with unwanted, sickly apple sauce. Or those shards of nickel-iron meteorite known as “crackle.” 

P.S. Ping!

Tip jar has been hit.

Bless you, madam, and bless you, sir. May you know the pleasure of new towels.

Previously in our gracious host’s blessings:

Some of you heathens have way too much time on your hands.

Imagine the family reunions.

Everyone remember where we parked.

One of the many reasons Scientific American is now less authoritative than the Weekly World News.

That particular Scientific American article – and Ms Helmuth’s reaction to readers pointing out its errors – is a pretty good illustration of how wokeness is, quite literally, stupefying.

*ping*

Bless you, sir. May your bathroom floor mat not look like it’s been on fire.

[ Slurps coffee, tries to focus. ]

Ping!

Bless you, madam. May your kettle boil briskly and yet quietly. 

Hey, give me a break. It’s not easy thinking of new tip-jar blessings after doing it for eight bloody years. 

I donated a racist amount.

I have nothing to say.

Bless you, sir. When a parcel arrives, supposedly containing that nifty-looking shirt you ordered several days earlier, may it not contain instead a fetching lilac blouse that you absolutely did not order. 

Heh. 

#TrueStory

The UN being the UN, taking on the important issues.

And so, instead of choosing a straightforward message – say, Don’t Be Needlessly Mean To Dysmorphic People – the UN decides to gaslight and antagonise. To preach its weird new religion. A pretending game, in which we’re all expected to be submissively complicit.

But it seems to me that people are generally attracted to members of a given sex, to maleness or femaleness, a physical reality – not to some speculative, metaphysical woo that can be professed, or abandoned, quite suddenly, and opportunistically, and with no physical corroboration whatsoever. 

The UN being the UN, taking on the important issues.

Also, no-one involved in the campaign seems to have registered the inadvertent comedy of UN-Women. And the consequent idea of un-womening women. 

That.

Well, for instance, one might find someone physically attractive – say, from a distance – while knowing nothing much, or nothing at all, about how they “identify,” or whether they secretly yearn to be an approximation of the opposite sex, or some implausibly “non-binary” being. The thing that attracts is largely a matter of geometry, how they move, even how they smell – physical things – not the convolutions of their internal psychodrama.

Which, again, may only become apparent – and possibly unwelcome – on closer inspection. 

it seems perfectly possible to be attracted to malevolence or mental instability. 

There is that.

Lesbianism is the physical attraction of ladies for other ladies, with lady bits, as you describe.

I mean, presumably, there are people who, for instance, quite fancied the actress Ellen Page, happily oblivious to her mental dramas and subsequent decision to reject her physical reality and to approximate a man. The people who fancied her, as Ellen, weren’t, I suspect, actually fancying her supposedly innate maleness, her now-professed identity, which only became visible, after a fashion, following some heavy drugging and gruesome surgery. 

though the root of the paraphilia is often unknown.

[ Fetches Stool of Shame. ]

And because the world just doesn’t have enough wankers in it.

Again, thanks to all who’ve chipped in so far, or subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links, including all those much too shy to say hello. It’s much appreciated and is what keeps this place here.

They’re not frustrated, they’re trying it on and smirking. ‘The Unspanked’, as our host would say.

Well, quite. The smiles and smirks – and the general air of transgressing with impunity – do not suggest frustration, or acting under great pressure, or under duress. And certainly not bravery. As so often, it’s just middle-class narcissists indulging in some recreational sociopathy.

As noted previously, regarding a similar display of unspanked brattishness:

Imagine the thought process:

“Comrades, I have an idea. It’s brilliantly radical and a jolly lark. Let’s walk into Waitrose and then needlessly steal and destroy dozens of pints of milk, by tipping the contents across the floor while telling people what to do, so that someone else – someone less radical and less well-off – will have to do hours of extra work to clear up the mess before someone slips and the whole thing starts to stink. The customers and staff will be too bewildered and too polite to give us the kicking we deserve. The most they’ll do is walk us out of the store…! How heroic we will be!”

As a way to win hearts and minds, or to sway government policy, it’s not exactly promising. Indeed, the reaction of the general public tends to be overwhelmingly negative, often vehemently so, and hostility to the professed cause is, if anything, likely to increase. But as a way to indulge in some practised self-involvement, and to feel important and powerful at others’ expense, it does have potential. Expressing contempt for those deemed unsophisticated – and generally fucking people over – can be its own reward, for a certain kind of person. All that’s needed is a pseudo-moral fig-leaf.

But it seems we are to be harassed and scolded by the morally inadequate and psychologically marginal. It’s practically a signature of our times.