Anyone’s For A Farthing
Consider this an open thread, but with a catch. Due to my infinite cunning.
Because, yes, it’s time to remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there are button in the sidebar with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last fourteen years, in over 3,000 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year-summaries, which convey the fullest flavour of what it is we do. A sort of blog concentrate. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company.
Now share ye links and bicker. 
[ Tries frantically to think of new blessings. Curses self for not writing a list in advance. ]
David has a rigid and unforgiving shirt hierarchy. Y’all can’t say you learned nothing today.
“Free moisturiser!”
David, have you been reading the other essays penned by our favorite put-upon housewife?
(Her other pieces mention that she worked in a NICU before becoming a stay-at-home mom, and that her two kids sleep nine hours a night. If she’s too pooped to brush her teeth, it’s nothing at all to do with her environment.)
“May you know the thrill of gritty styling clay
You monster! You FIEND! How do you know I even have HAIR?
{ – Actually I do have hair, not that I would ever put cr@p like that in it – and yeah yeah I know, “No refund, Credit note only.” ;}
I oughtta ping you twice for that!
unforgiving shirt hierarchy
Band name.
You monster! You FIEND! How do you know I even have HAIR?
Around these parts they use that same basic formula to make tiles and sculptures, so if you have no hair, but have an oven, you can make yourself a nice ceramic toupee or wig from that stuff. Make several, fire them them in different hair colors – perhaps a touch of gray for that distinguished look. You could start a trend…
The check is in the mail.
–Bad News
Value received – Kerching!
Karl, Scary Mommy is just one of the many services I offer!
Karl, Scary Mommy is just one of the many services I offer!
For visitors to this Fine Establishment? WW2 Training Film for US Soldiers | How to Behave in Britain | 1943
Oh, dear God. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rTPXRHXTXo
Oh, dear God.
You can wonder what sort of broken mind created that video, but I wonder more about the people who would enjoy it.
Will the white supremacy never end?
“They started saying something like some racial words like, ‘Asian people shouldn’t be in the Black market,’” Lee said. “We’re stealing their money.”
The video showed the women returning to the store, knocking over the displays again. Young eventually charged at Kim, punching her at least eight times. Lee said the women also scratched his face as he tried to fight them off his mother. Lee said the situation escalated when the pair nearly ran him and his father over with their vehicle in the parking lot.
@ DR: I tried to watch it, but after the first few seconds my breakfast started to rise. It’s creepy.
after the first few seconds my breakfast started to rise.
I made it to 25 seconds. Need a drink. No, two.
Oh, dear God.
And they call Trump supporters a cult?? Ye gods – there’s more creepy cult behavior in the mainstream coming from the left than I’ve ever seen from the right. Yeah, there’s some groups on the right can seem a bit culty, but it’s not mainstream right. The left does seem to want to fall in love Oedipaley with its Messianic Dear Leaders. That mishmash of metaphors is more coherent than a lot of progressive thought these days.
“You-little-Asian-girl.”
I presume that, in the eyes of intellectual giants of the Left such as Tariq, the behaviour of the two behemoths in the beauty salon was not racist or violent. The two huge creatures were just ‘expressing’ themselves as behemoths are wont to do.
Oh Dear God
I managed 20 seconds before I felt convulsions coming on.
It must be a parody, right?
Right?!
Test
The check is in the mail.
Value received – Kerching!
Bless you. When playing Hades’ Star, may you never forget to mute your notifications, resulting in a high-drama against-the-clock raiding mission – involving vast alien battleships and an impending supernova – being repeatedly punctuated by cheery WhatsApp messages about a dog-training video that your father-in-law has shared.
may you never forget to mute your notifications,
I feel your pain.
*ping*
I feel your pain.
It helps if you picture Sigourney Weaver wrestling with the cooling unit at the end of Alien. NOT NOW, ADORABLE PUPPY!
*ping*
Bless you, sir. May your online purchases always fit.
And thanks to all who’ve chipped in so far, including all those much too shy to say hello, or who’ve subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links. It’s what keeps this place here and is much appreciated.
It briefly softens my blackened heart. So there’s that.
https://youtu.be/ejqSj4wXaqo
I see your Ariel and raise you a Wicked.
Even more vomit-inducing (and I’m bloody sure it’s serious).
Ping eh! (Canadianized version)
*clears bar tab*
*orders large gin*
Ping eh!
*clears bar tab*
Bless you, sir, and bless you, madam. When loading groceries into the boot or back seat, may the shopping trolley remain motionless, and not start rolling at speed towards the nearest expensive car.
You have ping-age. Should just about cover the bar tab.
I see your Ariel and raise you a Wicked.
Fascinating, popular equals competent in Woketopia now, and so popular she was [checks notes] first one eliminated in the primaries.
Not a cult. Nosireebob.
You have ping-age. Should just about cover the bar tab.
Bless you, sir. When the end of lockdown is announced, and hairdressers make lists of their customers with a view to arranging appointments, may your name be at the top. Heavily underlined.
Golly, Piper Paul, how long did that compilation take you? But worth it, just to see (a) the massive creativity and inventiveness of our gracious host, and (b) the pitiable frustrations and minor tragedies he suffers on a daily basis.
Perhaps a ping! will console him.
Perhaps a ping! will console him.
My life is an endless, heroic struggle against expired condiments, bin liners, and overly mobile shopping trollies.
And bless you, madam. May your vertical stacking system, a cunning innovation intended to optimise storage space, never fail at a critical moment, resulting in a loud clattering and an air of silent, but quite intense, judgment.
When the end of lockdown is announced, and hairdressers make lists of their customers with a view to arranging appointments, may your name be at the top. Heavily underlined.
It’s funny you should say that. I have such a resplendent mane of lockdown hair, to the point where my hair is now longer than my mother’s – she had one of the last salon appointments before the lockdown – and I can’t wait to be rid of it. While I like my hair on the long side, the current state of it is nothing short of ridiculous.
Even more vomit-inducing (and I’m bloody sure it’s serious).
I’m starting to think it is a competition.
Lickety, rickety … Ping!
(Cheers from Hong Kong)
Ping!
Lickety, rickety … Ping!
Ping!
Bless you, sirs. May your airtight plastic containers retain their seal integrity.
airtight plastic containers
Tupperware contacts the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe…
Tupperware contacts the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe…
I’m not convinced that the accepted standard of air-tightness would be adequate during, say, a space battle.
never fail at a critical moment, resulting in a loud clattering
Thank goodness it was only a loud clattering and not a loud shattering!
This reminds me a I have a rather extensive list of purchases I need to make, and room on the credit card in which to make them. To the portal!
Veganism is now racist. Please update your files and lifestyles accordingly:
https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1375055435342880768
This reminds me I have a rather extensive list of purchases I need to make, and room on the credit card in which to make them. To the portal!
Shop like the wind. And bless you. May your phone always be posher than the phones your nephews and nieces have.
Good to know the condition is temporary. There is only so much interruption of the natural order the universe can handle.
Only ‘white veganism’.
Though how one determines the colour of a dietary preference is left unexplained.
Veganism is now racist.
Indeed, though I am fairly certain the idiots in that video are just saying those words because they think they are supposed to, but have no clue what they really mean.
Meanwhile, O&G informs us crossword puzzles are racist too.
Literally shaking.
Ping! Just paid my bar bill, David. Congratulate me on taking the momentous step of reactivating a long-dormant PayPal account.
O&G informs us crossword puzzles are racist too.
A topic touched on here.
The author of the piece, Natan Last – the one claiming that crossword puzzles are one of “the systemic forces that threaten women” – is, needless to say, a bit of a twat.
Just paid my bar bill, David.
Bless you, sir. Should a nephew ask what a “fax machine” was, may you be amused, and not feel ancient.
No, what really makes me feel ancient is when they ask what a teletype is, or what that round thing is on the face of an old telephone.
[ pauses to massage liniment into creaky joints ]
Meanwhile, O&G informs us crossword puzzles are racist too.
Correction: what really makes me feel old is that I remember when The Atlantic was run by sane people who didn’t hate America.