Stigmata Detected
As we gingerly lower our buttocks into the hot bath of ’21, spare a thought for the Guardian’s Afua Hirsch and her statusful associates:
A conversation I had recently with a black woman who wields enormous power in the TV industry sums it up for me. She and I were meeting from our respective bedrooms in the now familiar, strange intimacy of a one-on-one Zoom meeting. She has developed a massive rash all over her boobs.
The cause of this rash? Well, this is the Guardian. And so,
“It’s years of bullshit – racism, micro-aggressions,” she told me in a matter-of-fact tone. “I have never had any eczema before. My doctor said it’s erupted now because I’ve finally given myself permission to acknowledge the toxic stuff I’ve been putting up with during all these decades of my career.”
Readers are invited to ponder whether a reputable GP, one fit for employment, would actually diagnose racist microaggressions as the most obvious cause of boob eczema. Rather than, say, suggesting a change of bra or detergent. It does sound both improbable and awfully specific, as if tailored to the preoccupations of a tiresome monomaniac. But clearly this is something that Ms Hirsch is quite eager to believe, or at least have us believe, and is presented as damning evidence of both “structural racism” and, simultaneously, the urgent need to pathologise “whiteness.” It’s also, apparently, a reason to denounce a government minister who dares to question whether pretentious victimhood is an optimal life goal.
For Ms Hirsch, microaggression boob rash “sums it up.”
Via the Lancastrian Oik.
“Minneapolis has long wanted to be a big cosmopolitan city like Chicago.”
But do they have a South Side where all the ‘fun’ occurs?
Journalists are…
The ones who get on my (eczema-free) tits are the ones who describe themselves as investigative journalists as if, supposedly, investigation was not an intrinsic part of the job.
Crumpets as breakfast food?
Nay, nay… Afternoon tea in the drawing room in front of a roaring fire on a cold winter’s afternoon.
I would have asked her what has changed? Washing powder, washing temperature etc around things that contact the skin. Very hard to diagnose stress. Very easy to prescribe valium.
“What has racism been like for you?” – six words you hope to never hear in any language…
Or seven, if basic numeracy isn’t beneath you and you aren’t too exhausted to count that high.
And in these dark times, crumpets are indeed an appropriate and comforting breakfast food. They’re at their best about a week after their “best before” date.
“What has racism been like for you?”
“Very easy to prescribe Valium.”
In truth, I strongly suspect that she needs something far stronger.
L”It’s years of bullshit – racism, micro-aggressions…”
Her doctor should have asked her if there was a herstory of hersteria in her family.
You’d think the search for ever more recondite examples of faux racism would rapidly get into diminishing returns, but it’s the nature of witchfinders that here must be witches, and if not by golly they’ll make some. To the dedicated anti-racist™ the world is like a big Rorschach test where the only acceptable interpretation of the ink-blot is “racism”. And you don’t need to be a statistician to know that a test which returns 100% positives is not a very useful diagnostic tool. The problem is, there may very well still be outrageous examples of racism in the world (some perhaps even perpetrated by non-white people!), but how would you know?
Instalanch! Break out the emergency pickled eggs!
Liberals…
They’ll believe anything, as long as it makes absolutely no sense.
Instalanch!
My work here is done.
My work here is done.
No, your work is not done until you finish the last of the pickled eggs.
Afua Hirsch’s condition (not talking about her friend’s “boob rash”) is called mulattosis. The Urban Dictionary defines it as:
“A condition defined by extreme malice toward and aversion to half of one’s own ancestry. This condition only affects those of mixed race (see mulatto). Mulattosis stems from the crippling identity crisis that ensues when a mixed race social justice warrior turns their hatred for the white race inward. Other symptoms include protesting, rattling off statistics, and extreme snark.”
Examples of other people with this condition: Colin Kaepernick, Shaun Kang, Nikole Hannah-Jones and Munroe Bergdorf.
“is called mulattosis”
I learn something every day here.
See also: mullahtosis.
I’ve got news for this snowflake: while working your way up in a job you will encounter all sorts of bs even if you are white. There are crazy people, psychopaths, liars, and incompetents all over.