Stigmata Detected
As we gingerly lower our buttocks into the hot bath of ’21, spare a thought for the Guardian’s Afua Hirsch and her statusful associates:
A conversation I had recently with a black woman who wields enormous power in the TV industry sums it up for me. She and I were meeting from our respective bedrooms in the now familiar, strange intimacy of a one-on-one Zoom meeting. She has developed a massive rash all over her boobs.
The cause of this rash? Well, this is the Guardian. And so,
“It’s years of bullshit – racism, micro-aggressions,” she told me in a matter-of-fact tone. “I have never had any eczema before. My doctor said it’s erupted now because I’ve finally given myself permission to acknowledge the toxic stuff I’ve been putting up with during all these decades of my career.”
Readers are invited to ponder whether a reputable GP, one fit for employment, would actually diagnose racist microaggressions as the most obvious cause of boob eczema. Rather than, say, suggesting a change of bra or detergent. It does sound both improbable and awfully specific, as if tailored to the preoccupations of a tiresome monomaniac. But clearly this is something that Ms Hirsch is quite eager to believe, or at least have us believe, and is presented as damning evidence of both “structural racism” and, simultaneously, the urgent need to pathologise “whiteness.” It’s also, apparently, a reason to denounce a government minister who dares to question whether pretentious victimhood is an optimal life goal.
For Ms Hirsch, microaggression boob rash “sums it up.”
Via the Lancastrian Oik.
Sounds like something a member of the booboisie would come up with.
“My doctor said it’s erupted now…”
A doctorate in Critical Race Theory, perhaps. It’s quite likely she has one on speed-dial for emergencies.
Isn’t it grand that despite all the RAAAAACISM keeping her down, she nevertheless “wields enormous power”.
presented as damning evidence of both “structural racism” and, simultaneously, the urgent need to pathologise “whiteness.”
Logic is hard.
My own eczema is aggravated by bullshit accusations of bullshit.
Readers may recall that Douglas Murray once described Ms Hirsch as,
I think that conveys the essence of her ongoing mental dramas and their credibility.
Readers are invited to ponder whether a reputable GP, one fit for employment, would actually diagnose racist microaggressions as the most obvious cause of boob eczema.
At first, this made me laugh – but a moment’s reflection made me wonder whether or not there are in fact any number of GPs who would fully support such a curious notion.
And speaking of all things curious:
… a black woman who wields enormous power in the TV industry [tells Hirsch] “I’ve finally given myself permission to acknowledge the toxic stuff I’ve been putting up with during all these decades of my career”
Does this mean promotion to senior management is in fact actually a devious form of oppression orchestrated by the white supremacist heteropatriarchy?
Witch Doctors can diagnose these problems very effectively, not sure about treatment though…
Seems reasonable to suppose that the GP suggested that one possible cause of the eczema was stress, and Ms. Hirsch’s friend made the logical (haha) connection to racist microaggressions.
Seems reasonable to suppose that the GP suggested that one possible cause of the eczema was stress, and Ms. Hirsch’s friend made the logical (haha) connection to racist microaggressions.
Well, stress in general can exacerbate any number of conditions, but the specificity of the claim rather invites a raised eyebrow. And it occurs to me that being the kind of person who continually scans for homeopathic traces of racism, and embraces victimhood as a marker of status and radical identity, is likely to itself be a cause of some anxiety and unhappiness.
To Christmas Card or not To Christmas Card
Since I was late to the last blog party I thought I’d resurrect the discussion here. For years I have been grimly posting out around 40 Christmas cards to everyone I ever interacted with. I usually get a half dozen returns. I like to keep the tradition going since often it’s the only yearly contact I have with distant friends though this year I did drop a couple of people who’ve never reciprocated and with whom I’ve had no other communication for over 5 years.
I try to make an effort with the card quality too, though I was frankly disappointed with the selection of COVID-based humour available this year.
What does concern me is that the Royal Mail appears to be on the point of total collapse. Packages I’ve sent recently have taken weeks (WEEKS!) to arrive, and I’m still waiting for a particular birthday card 3 months later. Here in the UK there really is no alternative postal system for letters. I suppose we just have to accept that in the near future letters and cards will be regarded as bloody Victorian and completely abandoned.
Sometimes I feel old 🙁
Damn it, I earned my rashes and STDs honestly back in my youth of the 70s and 80s, without the need for racist, misogynist, or cultural microaggressions. But then, I’ve always had this perverse tendency to recognize the causation between my actions and outcomes, be it switching detergents or switching partners.
As Tim W would have it, “Scabby tits” (has a way with words, our Tim does). https://www.timworstall.com/2021/01/scabby-tits/#comments
Working your way to the top means dealing with stress and toxic stuff? Who knew? Did she try some Gold Bond?
It’s years of bullshit – racism, micro-aggressions,” she told me in a matter-of-fact tone.
I suspect her “doctor” is either that Aussie nitwit featured here earlier, or one of those who uses non-yte science and can throw lightning bolts, also featured here.
As a man, when I talk to a woman on Zoom about her breasts, it costs me $8.99 an minute. Is that structural sexism?
boobs
Is Afua Hirsch a 14 year old boy? What kind of journalist uses the word “boobs” in an actual column?
Is the prescribed treatment for boob eczema a liberal application of Reparation-H?
“It’s years of bullshit – racism, micro-aggressions…”
There is only one cure: she must immediately return to Mother Africa, never to return to the West.
Is Afua Hirsch a 14 year old boy?
It’s almost symbolic, in that wokeness resembles a kind of competitive neuroticism, not unlike hypochondria, in which one declares improbable woes:
And so on, and so forth.
“I’ve just experienced racism again, doctor!”
“No, that’s an old photograph of coal miners.”
If you follow the link you will see that it illustrates how every system for deciding who may vote has problems. In the previous thread Farnsworth Muldoon quoted Starship Troopers: “Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?” The woke black cretin who complained about the photograph of coal miners is a veteran. This does not surprise me, as I have even known veterans who were outright communists and it is well doc umented that criminal gangs like to get members into the military so they can be trained in firearms and explosives.
I assume the eczema was black? If not, that’s racist infections.
Witch Doctors can diagnose these problems very effectively…
And all the best witch doctors are in sub-Saharan Africa. If she wants the top notch medical care she deserves she really needs to Return to Africa.
“black woman who wields enormous power in the TV industry”
Well, ok then…
“black woman who wields enormous power in the TV industry”
“Give me what I want or I’ll publicly accuse you of racism!”
Packages I’ve sent recently have taken weeks (WEEKS!) to arrive
A friend recently purchased a special pair of Elsa (from Frozen) boots on-line for her young niece. The package took two months to arrive after a circuitous trip around North America. Interestingly enough, the package tracking service worked just fine and told her where the package was at any given moment. So she and her niece turned the experience into a game of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego.
Readers are invited to ponder whether a reputable GP
Here’s something I ponder…AIUI there are 10**7089 or so possible QR (those ubiquitous square) codes. Yet there are only (supposedly) 10**84 atoms in the universe. While I don’t doubt that what has been related here is possible, I also smell a journalist too lazy to do any real work when such stuff can easily be made up. So here’s my philosophical question…can the things-that-never-happened that are reported in newspapers possibly outnumber the actual number of events that did? I say yes. Fight me.
In the previous thread Farnsworth Muldoon quoted Starship Troopers: “Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?”
No, that was Tovarich Ream, however, I am with you that there are some vets who should not vote, let alone hold public office, IYKWIMAITYD.
In households all over the country:
“Mum- my eczema’s flared up”.
“Have you been giving yourself permission again? Just wait until your Dad gets home”.
Is her doctor Jill Biden?
homeopathic traces of racism
Stolen.
David, I trust you have included ‘Wordsmith 1st class’ on your business card.
Is the prescribed treatment for boob eczema a liberal application of Reparation-H
Threadwinner
journalist too lazy to do any real work
Our entry for 2021 tautology of the year.
I prefer ‘reporter’ as an appellation for the half-dozen honest people in the media. Journalists are ignorant, arrogant, dishonest, lazy, and stupid oxygen thieves.
Stolen.
I’m pretty sure I borrowed it from someone else, long ago, possibly Scott Burgess of the much missed Daily Ablution.
But what’s interesting, or sort-of interesting, is that it’s apparently no longer felt necessary, at least by Guardian columnists, to specify any actual racist behaviour when invoking racism as both some personal grievance and a supposedly all-pervasive, breast-irritating phenomenon. No evidence or example, even anecdotal, is seemingly required. It’s enough to simply assert, as if self-evident, that one is a chronic victim of such, and everyone is expected to take that on trust.
As if no-one would ever lie, or laughably exaggerate.
The fact of being an enormously powerful television industry figure seemingly has no weight on the amount of racism one could possibly have experienced to allow one to rise to such a powerful position. Doesn’t anyone find it at all incongruous that wealthy politicians, tenured academics, sports and film celebrities are the victims of systemic racism?
I sometimes wonder what sort of weird betting is going on up in heaven. I mean, do they have a pool going on to see who guesses the number of genders we can come up with? Or everyone picks a word, and they win when that word is declared to be racist by some victim group.
So the suffering caused by system racism is increasing exponentially, and will soon subsume the entire universe. Will it end with an exploding violent white flash or a collapse into a black hole? Something to ponder, as I hit the tip jar.
So a journalist claims that this happened and cites an anonymous source, eh? As far as I’m concerned, she made the whole thing up. Journalists are no longer entitled to any assumption that they might be telling the truth. They’re liars until proven otherwise.
Journalists are ignorant, arrogant, dishonest, lazy, and stupid oxygen thieves.
You forgot “incompetent.”
Something to ponder, as I hit the tip jar.
Bless you, sir. May your weekend start with a good crumpet. Or better yet, two.
So the suffering caused by system racism is increasing exponentially…
The exponent is negative. 🙂
Journalists are ignorant, arrogant, dishonest, lazy, and stupid oxygen thieves.
That started when reporters began characterizing themselves as “journalists.” Before then, they were just drunks.
Much like when teachers began characterizing themselves as educators.
But it all began when whores began characterizing themselves as “escorts.”
How long before baristas characterize themselves as “hot beverage engineers?”
May your weekend start with a good crumpet. Or better yet, two.
Stirling Moss refered to the E-type Jaguar as ‘the greatest crumpet-catcher known to man’. I didn’t realize he was so much of a fan of breakfast foods. But yes, two would be even better!
But it all began when whores began characterizing themselves as “escorts.”
Is a pimp mobile an escort carrier?
I’ll show myself out now.
racism, micro-aggressions
OK, from now on, it’s macroaggressions only.
Happy now?
“I’ve just experienced racism again, doctor!”
Grabbed this before Twitter could suspend the account:
Are we having fun yet?
“Being exhausted became a state-of-the-black-nation fact. It was exhausting when institutions, white friends and co-workers refused to acknowledge the murder of George Floyd. It was exhausting when they did.”
Tragic that Great Britain has such shrinking reserves of home grown racism that they now have to import it from the United States, where it is also in diminishing supply. Fortunately you still have talented and resourceful Racism Farmers at the Guardian who are working hard to replenish this vital crop.
Minneapolis has long wanted to be a big cosmopolitan city like Chicago. It’s nice to see them making such good progress of late. They just need Mayor Momjeans to step down and be replaced by an aging black community organizer who stuck her finger in a lamp socket, and they’ll be all set!
“microaggression boob rash”, or Worstall’s rather more blunt “scabby tits” – possible band names?
Minneapolis has long wanted to be a big cosmopolitan city like Chicago.
That’s why they imported all those nice Somalis. /sarc
“Being exhausted became a state-of-the-black-nation fact. It was exhausting when institutions, white friends and co-workers refused to acknowledge the murder of George Floyd. It was exhausting when they did.”
She’s appropriating Lily von Shtupp’s lament.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uai7M4RpoLU
“Minneapolis has long wanted to be a big cosmopolitan city like Chicago.”
But do they have a South Side where all the ‘fun’ occurs?
Journalists are…
The ones who get on my (eczema-free) tits are the ones who describe themselves as investigative journalists as if, supposedly, investigation was not an intrinsic part of the job.
Crumpets as breakfast food?
Nay, nay… Afternoon tea in the drawing room in front of a roaring fire on a cold winter’s afternoon.
I would have asked her what has changed? Washing powder, washing temperature etc around things that contact the skin. Very hard to diagnose stress. Very easy to prescribe valium.
“What has racism been like for you?” – six words you hope to never hear in any language…
Or seven, if basic numeracy isn’t beneath you and you aren’t too exhausted to count that high.
And in these dark times, crumpets are indeed an appropriate and comforting breakfast food. They’re at their best about a week after their “best before” date.
“What has racism been like for you?”
“Very easy to prescribe Valium.”
In truth, I strongly suspect that she needs something far stronger.
L”It’s years of bullshit – racism, micro-aggressions…”
Her doctor should have asked her if there was a herstory of hersteria in her family.
You’d think the search for ever more recondite examples of faux racism would rapidly get into diminishing returns, but it’s the nature of witchfinders that here must be witches, and if not by golly they’ll make some. To the dedicated anti-racist™ the world is like a big Rorschach test where the only acceptable interpretation of the ink-blot is “racism”. And you don’t need to be a statistician to know that a test which returns 100% positives is not a very useful diagnostic tool. The problem is, there may very well still be outrageous examples of racism in the world (some perhaps even perpetrated by non-white people!), but how would you know?
Instalanch! Break out the emergency pickled eggs!
Liberals…
They’ll believe anything, as long as it makes absolutely no sense.
Instalanch!
My work here is done.
My work here is done.
No, your work is not done until you finish the last of the pickled eggs.
Afua Hirsch’s condition (not talking about her friend’s “boob rash”) is called mulattosis. The Urban Dictionary defines it as:
“A condition defined by extreme malice toward and aversion to half of one’s own ancestry. This condition only affects those of mixed race (see mulatto). Mulattosis stems from the crippling identity crisis that ensues when a mixed race social justice warrior turns their hatred for the white race inward. Other symptoms include protesting, rattling off statistics, and extreme snark.”
Examples of other people with this condition: Colin Kaepernick, Shaun Kang, Nikole Hannah-Jones and Munroe Bergdorf.
“is called mulattosis”
I learn something every day here.
See also: mullahtosis.
I’ve got news for this snowflake: while working your way up in a job you will encounter all sorts of bs even if you are white. There are crazy people, psychopaths, liars, and incompetents all over.