His Nuptials Were Impending
Posting will be, at best, intermittent for the next week or so, for which I apologise in advance. I can imagine the terrible, crushing impact this will have on your lives. However, I do have a half-decent excuse, in that, said interruption to normal service is on account of my getting hitched next week. To The Other Half, I mean. A civil partnership, with jewellery and ties and such. There are, therefore, things to be organised. And after 27 bloody years, I think I can consider myself sufficiently wooed.
Now that you’re all moved and tearful and engorged with bonhomie, I’m going to slyly remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
Contributions towards covering the impending post-wedding bar tab, the likely proportions of which are now dawning on me, are of course welcome.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last twelve years, in over 2,600 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year summaries. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 
…the most likely methods…
Seeing as how this Antipholus commie has weighed in with nonsense that paving stones called “scones” are superior to genuine Southern ‘Murkan biscuits, the Biscuit Wars of 2019 might put it over the top.
I can only put it down to someone who comes from a land where they actually have been known to boil a piece of beef. Savages.
…and the merits/demerits of the Oxford comma.
Longbows vs. crossbows gets them going over at Ace…Though the geek in me says spaces over tabs and vim > emacs…though for anyone under 35 it’s Notepad++ vs…? Also, all curly brackets go on their own line, dammit.
Though the geek in me says spaces over tabs…
Nope, tabs move a measured distance. Spaces only work with monospace type (e.g., Courier, AKA, The Devil’s Typeface*) where every letter and space are exactly the same width.
If you are using a proportional typeface (e.g., the ubiquitous and boring Times New Roman) every letter is a different width and if you want exact spaces you have to insert either an em space (used to be equal to the width of a capital M of a given point size, now just equals point size) or an en space (1/2 an em). It gets trickier because all, for instance, Times New Roman are not created equal and the Adobe version might not have the exactly the same metrics as the Brand X version calling itself that, or when a typeface gets substituted for something similar, and now nothing lines up or is formatted correctly anymore.
*(Courier and other monospace type were a necessity for typewriters and early computer printers for mechanical reasons, there is no reason for them to exist today, they are evil incarnate and a design insult outside of some steampunk retro thing.)
Spaces only work with monospace type
Yeah. Like in IDE’s. Different milieu. Though there are some SOB’s who will still make that argument for similar, though completely ridiculous IMNSHO, reasons.
The Board justified the changes by claiming that words like “prisoner,” “convict,” “inmate” or “felon” essentially “only serve to obstruct and separate people from society and make the institutionalization of racism and supremacy appear normal.”
Sloppy language from our intrepid reporter, as the Board’s attempt to “justify” the changes falls well short. Also, one cannot help but notice the assertion that these words help to institutionalize racism. Does the City use different labels for ex-cons depending on their skin color? Or is it the case that some races tend to spend more time imprisoned than do others? One feels that the Board of Supervisors may be overdue for a session in the Scolding Chair.
And while we’re at it — is Shakespeare no longer taught in San Francisco’s schools? How is it that these nincompoops don’t understand that changing the label on the jar does not change its contents:
Finally, in closing, let me share my deep, deep disappointment that the Board of Supervisors did not suggest “People of Conviction” as their alternative label. Had that been the case, I might have simply nodded and smiled at the whole affair.
So the simple font where everything always lines up is a design abomination, and the fancy font that can’t be substituted or manipulated without losing visual coherency is God’s One TRVTH.
So glad we cleared that up.
I do enjoy a good kerning argument…
Re the SF Board of Stupidvisors: apparently they’ve never heard of the “euphemism treadmill”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euphemism#Evolution
Happy Wedding. As it’s nearly my tenth anniversary, I thought I’d contribute a very little to the start of your cycle of anniversaries.
Will you post pictures?
So some of you may enjoy this…I’m consulting software development at the IT department of a major restaurant chain. I just learned that because some greenie decided that the check printer machines were spitting out too much paper, they would configure the printers to replace four carriage returns in a row with just one, rather than do the proper thing and review where they (may) have an unnecessary number and remove just those from the code. Consequently now, if developers have requirements to put an extra return character in the check printer code, they need to put five CR’s in the buffer.
Here’s my contribution for most groanworthy pun of the day.
The comments are equally unworthy.
“People of Conviction”
Band name. Great 60s vibe.
Nope, tabs move a measured distance. Spaces only work with monospace type…
There’s a “kern-el” of truth in what you say, but strictly speaking spaces also move a measured distance.
I have pinged across a small token of appreciation.
Happy Wedding.
Bless you, sirs. Should you find yourself with several cases of wine stacked in the living room, for consumption by guests at an imminent gathering, may you never discover that someone, who will remain nameless, has seen a need to sample one or two bottles, ostensibly to check the quality of the wine and thereby avoid offending said guests.
And many thanks to all who’ve chipped in, or subscribed, or used the Amazon links. It’s much appreciated.
“People of Conviction”
There is, I believe, an old joke that goes something like:
“He is a man of convictions.”
“No, nothing has been proved.”
spaces also move a measured distance.
That is true in semiconductors.
Farnsworth,
I worked on fonts at Adobe back in the 90’s, when high quality scalable digital typefaces were finally becoming real.
After many years of experience in the field, I posted the following on my office wall:
“People ask me, with all the advances in font tech, what will be used in the future for legible, portable type?”
“10 point Courier.”
Piper Paul,
re: kerning, see if you can find a copy of “Stop Stealing Sheep”
I’m sure you’d be enthralled.
Tom Swifties might generate the necessary number of comments…
In our house, the champ swifty came from my son:
“But Jane, surely you do love him.” Elizabeth said probingly.
…but strictly speaking spaces also move a measured distance.
True, strictly speaking, but a half inch (or whatever) tab is a half inch regardless of the typeface or type size, whereas a space for 8 point Helvetica (spit) Light Condensed is a hell of a lot smaller than a space for 48 point Antique Olive Bold Extended.
The comments are equally unworthy
Well, now we’re getting some plaice.
whereas a space for 8 point Helvetica (spit) Light Condensed is a hell of a lot smaller than a space for 48 point Antique Olive Bold Extended.
See, this is why I don’t like leaving you heathens unsupervised.
I do enjoy a good kerning argument…
Sure, it’s all fun until someone catches a slug.
My vote for the most elegant typeface goes to Trajan.
My vote for most elegant typeface goes to Times New Roman. It’s the font of all knowledge.
Trajan – elegant, all right, but all-caps limits it to display purposes; the most elegant for a wide range of uses is Palatino, but that it lacks text-style numerals, only ledger-style.
I worked on fonts at Adobe back in the 90’s…
Bless you, my son. Before starting my peripatetic and bizarre academic journey I started life as an apprentice offset lithographer so back in the early ’90s I was happy as a clam that with your fine products, Aldus Pagemaker (PBUH), Windows 1.03, a 286 with a whole 2 megs of ram and a 40 meg hard drive, and a laser printer I could once again actually kern proportional type if I wanted and churn out documents of extraordinary magnitude.
“People ask me, with all the advances in font tech, what will be used in the future for legible, portable type?”
“10 point Courier.”
Happily a prediction that did not come true.
See, this is why I don’t like leaving you heathens unsupervised.
I used a spittoon, if they were there just for decoration, you should have said so.
Sure, it’s all fun until someone catches a slug.
Stick around with puns like that and the coppers will will get you if you don’t get shanked first.
…unsupervised…
Look, guys, I figured out how to remove the grenades from the lock on the special booze cabinet without getting anybody killed!
I just need to …EASE…this link a bit more to the left, and
if they were there just for decoration, you should have said so.
My dear late grandmother’s antique vases!
Speaking of grenades, I am IRL currently engaged in a fresh battle against the local wasp population. (Wasps, not WASPs. Not everything is about politics. Sheesh.)
The demons are nesting somewhere in my rosemary bushes, which is putting a real crimp in meal planning. Not to mention that my left arm is still sore, after TWO WEEKS, from just one bastard’s sting.
My brother-in-law, who is an Elon Musk fanboy, has one of those Boring Company “flamethrowers”. Perhaps I should borrow it.
My dear late grandmother’s antique vases!
Brass antique vases – and who the hell puts them on the floor between the stools ?
Honestly, there should be signs or labels or something.
Next thing you’ll be telling us is the articulated skeleton next to the darts board is your dear late grandmother, and not something you picked up at St. Pancras Medical School’s rummage sale.
Review of note.
Fred,
We are occasionally bedeviled with the things here, but to get rid of them, get some of this.
Shoots 22 feet so you have a good stand off and kills the bassards instantly. Added bonus you can have fun shooting them out of the air – hit them and they literally drop on the spot.
Of course you don’t have the fun of burning your bushes to the ground, but sacrifices must be made.
We are occasionally bedeviled with the things here, but to get rid of them, get some of this.
So…I thought those Rosemary Muffins you brought in last week tasted kinda funny. Glad I only ate seven of them.
Fred4: I don’t like kerning that much, but thanks for the tip.
I thought those Rosemary Muffins you brought in last week tasted kinda funny.
I hope you noticed you are no longer troubled with those pesky roundworms.
While suffering from the wasp-sting aftereffects, I looked up their venom. Those *things* have, among other elements, this stuff in their sting:
– histamines (for extra pain and itch)
– special histamines (for the best allergic reaction)
– cell-death factor (the name of my next garage band)
– penetrants (like WD-40. Allows the other stuff to get in between your cells more easily)
– neurotoxins (yet more itch and pain)
and the best part:
– pheromone signals (to let any other wasps in the area know it’s a free-fire zone.)
Farnsworth,
Thanks for the chem-warfare suggestion, but I have already turned that part of my yard into a Superfund site with similar products.
Problem is, unless you can hit the nest mouth itself, directly, there’s not much long-term effect. The underground nest might be 1-2 FEET across and contain 1-20 queens and 2000-10000 stinging (female, natch) workers.
The underground nest might be 1-2 FEET across…
L’il ‘ol baby nest…
If I were irresponsible I would say if the nest is underground torch the SOB, but being a calm, responsible, and rational adult
and not there to watch, I’d have to suggest an exterminator if you are that allergic to the bassards. That an an Anakit at least till they meet their Armageddon.Huh.
There was a phrase I could not quite interpret.
“If I were irresponsible”
Can someone help me out?
Fred- Wasp nests are typically underground. Drenching them all in petrol will probably kill them, but I wouldn’t recommend watering your rosemary with that.
We killed a wasp nest in our yard with 20 odd Litres of hot water with detergent. So…
1) Locate the wasp entrance. You may need to cut back the rosemary.
2) Wait until it’s night. They’ll all be in bed.
3) Boil up your weapon.
4) Pour it all down their nest in one steady stream.
Honestly, I guess the boiling water on its own should do the trick but the detergent should help: wasps are extremely clean and fastidious and if one of their hives is cleaning detergent off, others will help, so they all get poisoned.
Good luck.
Can someone help me out?
If I were irresponsible, I’d say, “Hold my beer, watch this…”
Fred- Wasp nests are typically underground.
Depends on the type. Around my parts most common are paper wasps whose hives hang from eaves and can be small as a fist or like that mess in the photo (also among these are hornets which have ginormous hives in the woods nearby), mud (or dirt) daubers which make tubular like nests out of mud (go figure) on vertical surfaces like walls and outdoor chair backs. Less common are the yellow jackets which generally are the burrowing kind.
Mostly we have the fist size paper wasp nests which are easily nuked with the Raid. Living next to woods we get reinvaded so it is an ongoing process to keep them nuked.
Ms. Marcie Bianco, who has graced these pages before, telling us that ‘The patriarchal race to colonise Mars is just another example of male entitlement’ is out with a new piece alleging that women are increasingly realizing not only that they don’t need heterosexuality, but that it also is often the bedrock of their global oppression. No, seriously. Women must become lesbians if they are to survive, or something like that.
I realise the irony of posting this as our gracious host has just formalised his pair-bonding, but I just couldn’t resist. Why NBC’s website chooses to feature (non-)think(ing) pieces by thoroughly misandrous radfems is a curiosity to me.
Oh, and here’s to a happy (of what’s remaining of your) life together. 🙂
Farnsworth, true, though I assumed Fred is talking about yellow jackets (in Australia – ‘European wasps’), since his description of them coming out of a spreading ground plant like rosemary is typical of them. People are always finding their nest somewhere in a woodpile. Ours had burrowed into the ground underneath an old tree stump.
They’re a big problem in Australia since in Europe and most of the US they die off in winter in the below zero temperatures. In many parts of Oz, if there’s no frost, their hives just get bigger – and bigger….
“Why NBC’s website chooses to feature”
We are at the stage where saying, promoting and amplifying outrageous things is the way to get attention. It’s pathetic and sad and I have no idea where things go from here.
Hi Fred,
If you’ve already spent lots of $ on do-it-yourself, you’ll probably come out ahead to just go ahead and hire an exterminator. Ours was $140, he educated us all about yellow jackets, and even let me shoot one out of the air with his spraygun, probably violating 32,882 Federal and state regulations, but this is a very Red area and the good old boys, of which tribe the exterminator was obviously a card-carrying member, don’t pay much attention to all that Blue regulatory stuff unless somebody important is watching.
I’m so old I remember when “Red” meant “Communist”!
We are at the stage where saying, promoting and amplifying outrageous things is the way to get attention.
Never. Hold Miley’s
bongbeer.…and the merits/demerits of the Oxford comma.
. . . vim > emacs. . .
Geany.
And then one uses vi for those remote or not entirely at hand situations where one needs to pop into the file and tinker with a couple of bits.–After all, with vi being a feature of a standard ‘nix install—as far as I’ve seen—one doesn’t have to flounder about hoping that vim has been installed, and, if one has something where vi isn’t installed, its not a standard, or so, ‘nix install.