His Nuptials Were Impending
Posting will be, at best, intermittent for the next week or so, for which I apologise in advance. I can imagine the terrible, crushing impact this will have on your lives. However, I do have a half-decent excuse, in that, said interruption to normal service is on account of my getting hitched next week. To The Other Half, I mean. A civil partnership, with jewellery and ties and such. There are, therefore, things to be organised. And after 27 bloody years, I think I can consider myself sufficiently wooed.
Now that you’re all moved and tearful and engorged with bonhomie, I’m going to slyly remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
Contributions towards covering the impending post-wedding bar tab, the likely proportions of which are now dawning on me, are of course welcome.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last twelve years, in over 2,600 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year summaries. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 
Incidentally, some of you may be relieved to hear that I’ve changed my phone’s PayPal notification sound back to ping.
Congratulations. 🙂
Also ping!
Also ping!
Bless you, madam. May lint never gather in your nooks and crevices.
And after 27 bloody years, I think I can consider myself sufficiently wooed.
LOL. Congratulations to you both.
Congratulations!
Congratulations !
It’ll be the happiest day of his life.
What?
Today’s word is, er…
Congratulations and I wish you luck and happiness in the years ahead.
Thanks.
[ Phone pings. ]
And bless you, sir. May your grapes never wither before you remember to eat them.
Mazel tov!
*ping*
*ping*
Bless you, madam. May you be spared encounters with wasps.
All the best – I can’t sound the church bells for you, but a small cha-ching! is on its way.
{ – and if you would wish me to be spared encounters with wasps, a month-ago would’ve been nice; I apologize for not pinging you then 😉
a small cha-ching! is on its way
Bless you, sir. May you know the joy of finding a very long, thin spoon that will reach into the nooks of tall but nearly empty condiment jars.
Well that’s quite wonderful. Congratulations to you both!
Shoe-related difficulties of note.
A lot can happen in fifteen seconds.
Via Holborn.
Congratulations to you both. Have a glass or two on me. 🙂
All the best to both of you!
*ping*
Have a glass or two on me.
*ping*
Bless you, sir, and madam. Should you feel inspired to grind fresh morning coffee for your other half, may you never be met with complaints about how loud the grinder was and how it woke them up.
may you never be met with complaints about how loud the grinder was and how it woke them up…
Ah yes, you’re new to this ‘nuptials’ thing, aren’t you? (I keep forgetting…) In the real nuptial world, such complaints will invariably result in said coffee grinder being upended-and-emptied (or smashed with considerable force) over the complaining other-half’s head.
Be warned. And yes, be afraid – be very afraid…
Congrats, good sir!
Might you have a Post Office Box or other physical mailing address?
I don’t like the internet for money exchange.
Thanks,
Mike
Might you have a Post Office Box or other physical mailing address?
Alas, no. Not that I’d be willing to share. Though PayPal is, I think, painless.
Congratulations! 🥂👨❤️👨
getting hitched next week
Ah, doing the MGTOW thing, huh? I mean, in the strict technical sense.
Congrats of course, and may your DJ’s supply of K-pop never be exhausted.
Congratulations!
*Amazon shopping intensifies*
Australian scenes.
*Amazon shopping intensifies*
Don’t forget to write a list. You wouldn’t want to forget anything really expensive.
Underwear-related gag of note.
Via Dicentra.
Congratulations Dave! Many happy returns to the happy couple.
Congratulations & felicitations.
Ping!
The man who was a dwarf and then later a giant.
Right. Heading out for an early dinner with the father-in-law. Play nicely. Use coasters.
Ah yes….marital bliss..!
Having done so 30 yrs prior, I Fully recall that occasion.(untill the reception when her dads Wickedly good home made Italian wine made its presence known.!)
Enjoy..!!
& Congrats Davd.
I’ve changed my phone’s PayPal notification sound back to ping.
“One ping only.”
Warmest congratulations, and hurrah!
Warmest congratulations, and hurrah!
“Re-verify our congratulations, Vasily. One cheer only.
Anarchy detected.
My factoti, Connie and Bonnie, became uncharacteristically weepy at the notion of nuptials and insisted on kicking in something that should be good for some fine Tesco Vino Collapso. The guests will never know after three glasses if you cut it with some anti-freeze in the Russian tradition. I, OTOH, being a cynical SOB, am compelled, strictly in your best interest, mind you, to point out that after 27 years of something that evidently ain’t broke, beware of clerics and/or lawyers (or is it solicitors and barristers) trying to fix it…
after 27 years of something that evidently ain’t broke,
Heh. That’s one way to think of it. And bless you and your ravishing factoti. May you never find that your upmarket washing-up liquid, which stands in a transparent container near the kitchen window, has, on account of exposure to sunlight, changed from an aesthetic blue to something remarkably close to the colour of urine. Thereby inviting questions as why you have what appears to be a container of urine on display in the kitchen.
Mazel Tov David. Have one (or two) on me. Ka-ching!!!
Have one (or two) on me.
Bless you, madam. May you never be five seconds into washing your hair before realising you’ve left your bloody glasses on.
Congratulations! And I wish you two all the happiness, in spite of your ongoing success in luring me into your dark, windowless
vanblog with promises of wonders, only to be treated with stories inducing a need for mind bleach and/or eye-gouging. 😀Also, ping. More of a subdued one, I’m afraid. 🙁 I hope it will at least cover a decent single-malt at your favourite watering-hole.
Also, ping.
Bless you, sir. May you be spared the horror of unlaundered, faintly clammy sheets.
It’s a suitcase, it’s a Pilates station.
My factoti, Connie and Bonnie
Are they related to John Derbyshire’s factoti Mandy and Candy and Brandy?
It’s a suitcase, it’s a Pilates station.
*How* much?!
Oh forgot – congratulations too! Pinged. 🙂
Hooked at last, eh? Congrats, David.
*kerching*
Pinged.
*kerching*
Bless you both. May your bathroom shelves be spontaneously self-organising, such that deodorants and nail clippers are effortlessly accessible, not buried under bewildering piles of rammle and a residue of talc dust.