His Nuptials Were Impending
Posting will be, at best, intermittent for the next week or so, for which I apologise in advance. I can imagine the terrible, crushing impact this will have on your lives. However, I do have a half-decent excuse, in that, said interruption to normal service is on account of my getting hitched next week. To The Other Half, I mean. A civil partnership, with jewellery and ties and such. There are, therefore, things to be organised. And after 27 bloody years, I think I can consider myself sufficiently wooed.
Now that you’re all moved and tearful and engorged with bonhomie, I’m going to slyly remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
Contributions towards covering the impending post-wedding bar tab, the likely proportions of which are now dawning on me, are of course welcome.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last twelve years, in over 2,600 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year summaries. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 
If it isn’t too personal : will you take turns patriarchally oppressing each other or will you be patriarchally oppressing each other simultaneously?
The latter seems more efficient. They could take turns patriarchically oppressing the hamster 🐹.
What is a hob extractor?
What is a hob extractor?
A quick google search suggests that “hob” is English-persons-speak for what Americans call a stovetop or grill, while “extractor” is a ventilation hood for same.
Cartoon character grown up and working as a line cook is not “Calvin and Hob”. I stand corrected.
Thanks, PST 314. I got that on DuckDuckGo, too, but it didn’t sound right for some reason so I figured I’d ask the Brits. (To me “hob extractor” sounded like an instrument used in an expensive dental procedure.)
I haven’t used Google in 5 years. They don’t like people of my faith so I don’t give them my business. From what I see about the company in the news, they don’t like most other people either, including a lot of their own employees.
I can post my collection that goes back a couple years or more.
Some of you really do need to find more exciting leisure activities.
It’s quite a list. A performance poem, really. I’m impressed.
A performance poem, really.
[ Splutters with indignation. ]
Bless you, sir. May your choice of Bond film never be limited to either License to Kill or Moonraker.
Could be worse. Could be License To Kill, View To A Kill, or “Spectre”.
Better stockpile those poems now!
https://twitter.com/ChrisJC12002/status/1163315384512057349
Oh all right. Ping. Thanks for this website of yours, it means a lot to me. And congratulations on your upcoming nipples.
I haven’t used Google in 5 years.
I confess I say “google something ” the way many people have said “xerox something” instead of “photocopy”, or the way my old landlords called every refrigerator a Frigidaire. And thus I have become what I laughed at as a child thinking I was too sophisticated to ever make that error.
And congratulations on your upcoming nipples.
A tight sweater will do that. And bless you, sir. Instead of the expected birthday gifts, may your enemies be told that a donation has been made to the nearest taxpayer-subsidised performance art space.
And congratulations on your upcoming nipples.
Yeah, full confession…when I first read the title of this thread I thought you had impacted molars. I mean, kinda makes sense. Percentages and all that.
my old landlords called every refrigerator a Frigidaire.
Slightly off but my mother used to call the refrigerator “the ice box”, which perplexed one of my visiting friends.
Congratulations
my mother used to call the refrigerator “the ice box”,
That was my grandmother who always called it “the ice box” and called the couch “the Davenport”.
and called the couch “the Davenport”.
Heh. I need to get a younger, more happening crowd in here. Skateboarders, or body-poppers or something. That’s still a thing, right?
called the couch “the Davenport”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davenport_(sofa)
the ice box
My grandparents said that.Born in the 1800’s, so they grew up with actual ice boxes. At one point in the 1930’s they lived in an apartment building which had a small refrigerator in each apartment but all driven by a single large refrigeration unit in the basement and refrigerant lines running to each apartment. State of the art!
I need to get a younger, more happening crowd in here.
We’re with it, we’re hip.
the way many people have said “xerox something” instead of “photocopy”
Fun fact: For decades, Xerox maintained an army of lawyers whose sole function was to scan film and TV scripts to ensure they did not casually use “xerox” as a synonym for “photocopy”, so as to prevent the word from becoming public domain through common usage as happened to Kleenex.
Pitney-Bowes once had an ad campaign focusing on how much harder they worked to serve their customer base because as the #2 copier company, “no one is ever going to say ‘go and Pitney-Bowes off a couple hundred of these for me’.”
More woke than Titania McGrath and Godfrey Elfwick combined !
RTWT and be sure to check the Farcebook…
Pitney-Bowes once had an ad campaign focusing on how much harder they worked to serve their customer base because as the #2 copier company, “no one is ever going to say ‘go and Pitney-Bowes off a couple hundred of these for me’.”
I didn’t know about that. Sort of like the Avis “We try harder” slogan.
Pst314 and Darleen, my parents referred to the davenport but not the icebox, although they remembered having same. The fridge, however, was “the fridge.”
Except in Chicago where “the fridge” is Mr. Perry.
😄
This sounds familiar too.
“The psychology of victim group rights”
https://youtu.be/Zk-PHDHqlqU
“The psychology of victim group rights”
Yes, that. It’s often struck me that a dislike of victim-group posturing and indulgence isn’t just an acknowledgement of the social and political contortions that such thinking tends to require – the incoherences and double standards, and the endless positional ratcheting. It’s also, and perhaps more immediately, an aversion to the kinds of psychology, the tics and dishonesties, that are cultivated in its name. As a way of encouraging people to be querulous, ungrateful and fundamentally obnoxious, it’s hard to top.
Congratulations, sir! In honor of the day I shall finally break down and order (through your portal) that boxed set of NCIS DVDs I’ve been eyeing…if such things still exist.
And maybe some Magnum P.I., or Walker, Texas Ranger, or something with Sam Elliot in it, or maybe some Sean Connery James Bond – I’ve a hankering for some toxic masculinity 😛
I shall finally break down and order (through your portal) that boxed set of NCIS DVDs I’ve been eyeing
Heh. Shop like the wind.
A day ending in Y.
Joke presidential candidate for whom the 1960s were evidently very, very good, proposes a “Department of Peace”. Groovy, man.
“Transgender” individual who was a joke congressional candidate is offended by the color of the logo of proposed Department of Age of Aquarius.
These bozos just cannot ever give it a rest, it is like heroin to them.
Congratulations to our host and his other half. The price of a drink or two has been pinged. 🙂
The price of a drink or two has been pinged.
Bless you, sir. May your sins be intriguing.
Today’s word is planning.
Via Orwell & Goode.
“May your sins…”. 😄
Commit the intriguing ones while you’re young. It’s hard to commit a really intriguing, can-you-top-this sin if you find yourself needing to be in bed before midnight. I forget who composed “After Midnight” but I bet he was under the age of 60 at the time!
Son turns 40 next month! 😳
I forget who composed “After Midnight”…
J.J. Cale; Merl Saunders on the Hammond B3 and Jerry Garcia bring the funk, once again back before autotune and digital tomfoolery.
Commit the intriguing ones while you’re young. It’s hard to commit a really intriguing, can-you-top-this sin if you find yourself needing to be in bed before midnight.
The confessional booth is over by the darts board. The tape recorder will spool up as soon as an arse hits the seat.
If CommieCon 2019 was held at the South Park Community Center.
Hero. Remember him.
Air bed migration.
Via Ben.
“Stupid driver ! My bike is OK, though.”
Air bed migration.
Some good background music choices in that twitter thread. Though this is what I heard in my head when I saw it with no sound.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjg8LL5iUrc
David, that mattress migration is the funniest thing you have ever posted. Good on ya, mate.
(Are girls allowed to call guys “mate,” or is it a strictly male thing like the manly handshakes?)
at Denver’s ‘open air bed’ cinema
But why were the mattresses watching cinema? And what sort of cinema do mattresses watch?
“Stupid driver ! My bike is OK, though.”
Import rats from inferior cultures, get inferior behavior.
Air bed migration.
Is this a seasonal migration, or to spawn?
It all reminds me of one of the more agreeable pieces of nonsense from Douglas Adams collected ‘Hitchhikers’.
“No one really knows what mattresses are meant to gain from their lives. They are large, friendly, pocket-sprung creatures which live quiet private lives in the marshes of Squornshellous Zeta. Many of them get caught, slaughtered, dried out, shipped out and slept on. None of them seem to mind and all of them are called Zem.”
Congratulations, David. I’ve found out what the orange button does. 😀
I’ve found out what the orange button does.
Bless you, madam. May you be spared the indignity of overcooked peas.
May you be spared the indignity of overcooked peas.
Nightmare! 1 minute max. 🙂
Nightmare! 1 minute max. 🙂
Anything more is godless. Though I know of someone, who shall be spared public shaming, whose repertoire of kitchen skills consists almost entirely of extended periods of vigorous boiling. Not just vegetables. Pretty much anything that can, at least in theory, be boiled.