You’ll Get Your Shoes Back When You’ve Watched The Whole Thing
Swollen with anticipation, we turn our attention to the self-refuting world of Ms Sandrine Schaefer. This time, our inexplicably underfunded performance artist has taken her talents to the streets of Belfast, where her attempts to disconcert the natives with mind-shattering concepts can be witnessed below. The featured work, Pace Investigations No. 9, reveals “tensions between mechanical, cyclical, and felt time, shared in a site of historic trauma.” Tensions that are, we’re assured, “palpable.”
Sadly, with one brief exception – and despite the palpable tensions of Ms Schaefer’s “guerrilla street performance” – passers-by still pass on by. Somehow, incredibly, getting on with their lives.
My life has changed forever, but I pity my ancestor’s native land, first The Troubles, now this.
Talentless pretentious bollocks.
The girl who served me at McDonalds this morning is making a bigger contribution to humanity than this charlatan.
*runs away barefoot*
Probably the closest she’s actually come to reading a book.
Tensions that are, we’re assured, “palpable.”
She lied.
*runs away barefoot*
But Joan, come back! Things get incredibly exciting when some bloke walks past with his dog.
See? Palpable tension. Feel the rush.
Just what the world needs: another *&^%$#g drip.
She looks like she’s sticking her tongue in a fuse box. I would pay to see the real thing, I think. It would serve as a metaphor for the entire avant-garde (sans langue?) art movement.
Seriously though, why are these people indulged?
It’s all very Soviet Union. Their “art” is a lie. They know their “art” is a lie. We know their “art” is a lie. They know that we know their “art” is a lie. Why is it indulged?
https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-crazy-monty-python-Zb4Cwdpub5g0U/tile
In this world of “everything goes” and you WILL be made to like it, and other such, it’s safer to just walk on by, minding your own business, eyes straight ahead, no comment.
With such a glut of pretentious twattery in the world today, the average person is inured to it. Nobody cares except people in her little bubble. If she really wanted to shock, create palpable tension, or whatever, in the world at large, she should just have put on a MAGA hat, or a Brexit t-shirt, and, I dunno – maybe smirked a little.
Well, I’ll grant her that it’s…ummm…’quirky’. Might I offer three words of advice? Learn…to…code.
Please tell me this wasn’t paid for with taxpayers’ money.
Please tell me this wasn’t paid for with taxpayers’ money.
The, um, work above was funded by BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland.
[ Hides breakables. ]
Although I am not a performance artiste, I think that the subaqueous qualities of the spatial relationships that she exhibits brings within the realm of discourse the essentially transitional quality of her movements. I find this work menacing/playful because of the way the sublime beauty of the spatial relationships allows for an aggressive empathy reaction to the distinctive formal juxtapositions. Although, it can be difficult to enter into this work because of how the mechanical mark-making of the sexy chair makes resonant the transgressive character of the intersecting relationships she critiques.
(This wombat’s “art”, more than most I’ve encountered, cries out for the Instant Art Critique Generator – http://www.pixmaven.com/phrase_generator.html .)
I think that the subaqueous qualities of the spatial relationships that she exhibits brings within the realm of discourse the essentially transitional quality of her movements.
Do help yourself to snacks.
For newcomers, a brief selection of Ms Schaefer’s earlier efforts can be savoured here, here and here.
You know, most passersby are probably thinking “Ummm…” and then hurrying on their way in fear she’d escaped from an institution and might attack them. If she performed while holding a big sign reading (approximately) “This is ART,” she might actually attract some attention. Or something.
However, if she was so imprudent as to include – and you’re paying for it – on the sign, she likely wouldn’t survive the performance.
For newcomers, a brief selection of Ms Schaefer’s earlier efforts can be savoured here, here and here.
WHY oh why did I click?? I thought I’d seen that name before and had a sneaking suspicion that it was the one with her arse in the air squeaking her shoes to make the sounds of Guatemala or some such.
And sure enough – first “here” link – there it was in all its glory.
You never disappoint, O Gracious Host.
WHY oh why did I click??
You’d think you’d know by now.
Here’s a little song I wrote for just such an occasion:
I literally LOL’d at 0:20 and had to explain to my co-workers what I was looking at.
Are you sure she’s underfunded? She looks likes she has put on a bit of weight.
So I have to cheer all y’all with this recollection:
Last year, sauntering up the walk along UC Berkeley’s South side near Telegraph Ave, I pass a 30-ish gent seated slumped on a bollard. Typical appearance of a certain sort who can’t make adulthood work, nor can he leave the Uni environs. As I pass, he does not look at me, but mumbles quite clearly, “Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be artists.”
Small victories, but satisfying.
Instant Art Critique Generator
“I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective, Oh, and err.. interesting rhythmic devices which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the Vogonity of the poets compassionate soul, which stresses through the verse structure to sublimate this, and transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other. And one is left with a profound and visual insight into whatever the poem was about.”
“Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be artists.”
I’ve long wondered why art students are not all advised to learn a trade or profession that will support them. Or are they, but some don’t listen?
A part of me always is amazed that folks like this are able to feed themselves, even if it’s from a highly-subsidized public trough.
I literally LOL’d at 0:20 and had to explain to my co-workers what I was looking at.
There is an inadvertent symbolism to it. Ms Schaefer refers to her flummery as a “guerrilla street performance” and tries her best to disconcert the locals – behaving incongruously, being in the way of passers-by, then applauding herself loudly – all to no effect.
What she’s selling, they ain’t buying.
Someone seriously misunderstands how “Facebook” works.
What she’s selling, they ain’t buying.
Yes they are…work above was funded by BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland.…Just not voluntarily.
work above was funded by BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland….Just not voluntarily.
One of the purposes of Modern Progressive Thought Leader government is to subsidize useless parasites by stealing from citizens at gunpoint.
David said: “… Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland.”
That is awesome. I was afraid it was paid for by the Canada Council.
Doing her best Invasion of the Body Snatchers at 3:42.
Donald Sutherland did it much better:
Sorry. I didn’t know how to embed the image from Vimeo.
Just not voluntarily.
Well, quite.
You know, most passersby are probably thinking “Ummm…” and then hurrying on their way in fear she’d escaped from an institution and might attack them.
That, or “The ferkakta IRA is never around when you need them.”
passers-by still pass on by. Somehow, incredibly, getting on with their lives.
If they notice at all they’ll just assume she’s another drunk.
If they notice at all they’ll just assume she’s another drunk.
Despite the pretensions of transgression and radical provocation, it seems like a lot of trouble to go to for, at most, a few seconds of faint bewilderment.
“… it seems like a lot of trouble to go to for, at most, a few seconds of faint bewilderment”
I’m drawn to the conclusion that she’s not performing for onlookers at all, and she could care less what they think – unless they really like it and give her star-quality exposure, of course.
She’s performing for… BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland
– Follow the money… I’m sorry; was that too cynical?
Am I the only one who sees The Unmade Bed from 20 years ago, gee has it really been 20 years, in all of this nonsense?
What she’s selling, they ain’t buying.
Perhaps one must sit through Pace Investigations Nos. 1-8 to fully appreciate her genius.
Any volunteers?
What happened to Pace Investigations Nos 1-8? I hate coming in mid-series when you’ve missed all the character development and background exposition. I feel short-changed and want my money back.
Any volunteers?
Believe me, it’s time you won’t get back.
She looks like she’s sticking her tongue in a fuse box.
My first thought. Really.
Imagine the parents…
It was only 4:17, but somehow it felt so much longer. Still, I’m curious whose images those were on the walls. Harland and Wolff, perhaps, or a really, really old Apprentice Boy?
Pst314,
I studied physics for 3 years, then worked at an insurance company for 2_years, then a silicon valley startup for 2 years, then finished an EE/CS degree, and had a successful 30 year career in silly valley.
But back when i was 15, my dad (A NASA test pilot) advised me to get, in addition to whatever Uni thing I did, a welders certificate.
I still think that was the single best piece of advice I got, ever, even though I didn’t follow it.
I realize that I just a backward country bumpkin from the Colonies. I submit that I am not a doctor of arts of any sort. Can any of you explain what in the hell that person is doing? Besides slobbering all over a perfectly harmless book that, so far as I can discern, has offended no one and deserves, at the least, better slobber? I don’t need to know the obvious – clearly he/she thinks that this is profound but I don’t understand. Please help a poor benighted soul into the light.
I am going to guess that watching Pace Investigations 1 – 8 would be like watching the first two seasons of the American version of ‘The Office’, everything would seem vaguely familiar, yet darkly uncomfortable. You know that it is meant to be humorous and transgressive, but it just falls flat.
Swollen with anticipation …
Good of you to offer intelligence on your state of tumescence, but please don’t feel obliged to update us regularly.
Can any of you explain what in the hell that person is doing?
It’s what we would call ‘taking the piss’.
Holy Mary, Mother of God … This isn’t The Onion.
Holy Mary, Mother of God … This isn’t The Onion.
The Onion.
OOPS!
The page you’re looking for isn’t here.
Either someone gave you a bad link or there’s something funky going on. Either way, we’re truly sorry for the inconvenience.
Darleen,
Link not working. =^(
Lemme guess: coal miners just got off their shift (and needed a beer before heading home)?
Hey! Whoa! What’s this mess??? Somebody’s getting the Correction Booth.
Closing the html.
testing
I’ll just quietly let myself into the correction booth now.
I take it these “men in blackface” were so privileged they got to work hundreds of feet underground, contract black lung and die in their 40s or 50s. Caught at a meeting of the white cisgendered heteropatriarchy.
Better link here … my cut-n-paste took off the end
https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/2019/01/28/downtown-phoenix-photo-men-soot-blackface/2683881002/
Okay, I navigated the azcentral site (part of the USA Today Network – which explains a great deal), and found this – and pst314 is correct, the author is a fact-hating piece of garbage.
More self-inflicted blinkered nonsense:
Oversensitive attention whores like Mr Rashaad Thomas, apparently.
Oh yes it is, you self-important dick.
Oh yes it is, you self-important dick
I breathlessly await his next hand-wringing exercise after he sees the Chimney sweep scene in Mary Poppins
Ummm…
The shark has been jumped, by America’s “paper of record”, no less.
Meanwhile, back in the UK, have a friend going to the hardware or Swiss Army store ?
Rat (grass) them out.
If it saves one life, nobody needs an assault knife.
“That photo tells me I am not welcome.”
You must have at least a 2-digit IQ to be served here, because we don’t want you to hurt yourself trying to eat the laminated menu. Sorry.
Try the whine-and-cheese establishment 3 doors down.
Please help a poor benighted soul into the light.
Well, very simply, what’s going on is slobbering all over a perfectly harmless book that, so far as I can discern, has offended no one and deserves, at the least, better slobber, while someone else is presumably standing there recording the occurrence.
Chim-chiminy-chim-chiminy-chim-chim-cheree
The sweep’s problematic as he could well be
Chim-chiminy-chim-chiminy-chim-chim-cheroo
Racism rubs off when he shakes hands with you.
Or blow him a kiss—and Antifa attacks you!
Fact: The photograph shows coal miners’ faces covered in soot. The context of the photograph is not the issue.
More journalistic laziness. If you’re going to say something is a fact, well, it should be a fact. A coal miner’s face would be covered with coal and crystalline silica dusts not soot.
The man’s logic seems very Pythonesque. If the photograph weighs the same as a duck then it must be a witch in black face. Or something like that.
A business’ photograph of men with blackened faces culturally says to me, “Whites Only.” It says people like me are not welcome.
I think we’ll give that one a post, and thread, of its own.
Thanks, Darleen.
passers-by still pass on by. Somehow, incredibly, getting on with their lives.
Perhaps if she took her clothes off.
Perhaps if she took her clothes off.
The best I could do on short notice.
No, don’t thank me.
No, don’t thank me
No danger of that I think…
I think, just like “literally” and “ironic” and “nonplussed” (though I still contend in the case of “nonplussed” it gets the savaging it deserves) we will soon need to add “fact” to the list of Janus words. Well that and the rest of the whole damn dictionary.
However, if she was so imprudent as to include – and you’re paying for it – on the sign, she likely wouldn’t survive the performance.
And this suggests an idea. Suppose another artist decided to stand next to her with a sign reading “Performance art supported by the Northern Ireland Arts Council”?
Poor lass must be terribly short-sighted. Bless.
Best argument I’ve seen for a hard border.
Best argument I’ve seen for a hard border.
Only if you’re posting from the Republic of Ireland . . . .
“Performance art supported by the Northern Ireland Arts Council” . . . .
She would have had a more memorable performance if she had eaten a banana and made monkey noises
In today’s world, ordinary people cling to it with sugar. Nobody cares about people with small bubbles. If you really want to shock you or make you a noticeable tension, you should wear a MAGA hat or T-shirt Brexit all over the world. Maybe a little smile maybe.
Nothing is more pathetic than watching a lack of talent express its frustrations.
You have to admit, that’s a great haircut though.
So profound…profoundly moronic and stupid. But I repeat myself.