A Forehead’s Empty Without Them
From the pages of Cosmopolitan, I bring you fashion news:
The halo brow, the brainchild of 16-year-old Hannah Lyne, took inspiration from one of this year’s brow trends on Instagram. “I was having a conversation with a friend trying to come up with a new idea for a look, and all of a sudden it came to me that I should connect my brow tails,” Hannah said in an interview with PopSugar. “This look was influenced by fishtail brows; seeing the way my brow flicked upwards inspired the idea of just carrying the brow on until it met in the middle.”
They’re “strangely beautiful,” it says here.
Via dicentra.
Wow!
Now I have something else important to worry about!
They’re “strangely beautiful,” it says here.
I disagree. Is it a Huddersfield thing?
It’s called a Unibrow…
It’s called a Unibrow…
Oh, if you click through to the article, you’ll see it’s more than a mere unibrow; it’s a whole new level of fabulousness.
A couple of years ago, at a family gathering in a restaurant, I was seated opposite a teenage nephew and his girlfriend at the time, who was clearly quite interested in the, um, experimental use of cosmetics. She’d shaved off her eyebrows, entirely, and replaced them with what she presumably considered more artistic approximations, rendered in what looked like marker pen. Or possibly brown crayon. Either way, they weren’t entirely convincing, or even roughly symmetrical. It was quite distracting, almost surreal, and I had to stop myself staring in wonderment.
Just keep shaving it and it will grow one day.
Oh David, you nostalgic dear. It’s like you take us back, back in time, to when the narcissistic indulgences of the fatuous were amusing rather than threatening.
Um, fwiw, on re-reading, that previous comment came off a sounding a little snarkier than intended….
[ Sobs into handkerchief. ]
I have five sisters, sir. I am immune to sobbing.
Painfully learned, I assure you.
Yours,
Formerly gullible.
I have five sisters, sir.
Life can be very cruel. Here, have a small one on the house.
Dobby thanks you, sir. May I take your coat?
As a heterosexual man this is not beautiful, it’s odd. If I saw a woman with this on their forehead, I’d assume they were in some kind of cult.
Her pout is even worse than her eyebrows. (All these awful women taking selfies where they put on these ridiculous trout pout faces because they think it accentuates their cheekbones.)
The “fishtail brows” date back 50 years to the Klingons on the original Star Trek.
Hector, I wondered what was the reason for the silly pout. Thanks! Now can anyone explain the ugly, Soviet era-frame glasses?
I come for the takedowns of lefty bullshit. But I stay for the makeup tips.
But I stay for the makeup tips.
Next week we’ll be covering watercolour basics and advanced boiler repair.
She’d shaved off her eyebrows, entirely, and replaced them with what she presumably considered more artistic approximations, rendered in what looked like marker pen
Way back in the 70’s, as a young teenager, I had a teacher who was interviewing me for a place in an advanced class. I somehow got through the interview ok but was troubled the whole time upon noticing that she had no hair eyebrows. They were completely drawn in with mascara. At the time I wondered what terrible accident (fire?) or disease had caused to loose them.
To the post itself, I suspect this is really a plot by Maybelline to sell more mascara. I suspect you will see it in upcoming sci-fi shows.
Look carefully and see the beginnings of a Halo ‘tache above the fish pout. Literally not Hitler.
Every so often, I go over to a friend’s house where we have a ‘bad film night’ – pizza, drinks, and we’ll watch a bad movie. A couple of weeks ago, we watched the Bruce Willis film Armageddon. Shit like this, well, it makes me root for the asteroid. Just saying.
Query why does Dicentra hate your readership?
Anyway, as far as the style, I’ve seen pre-cancerous moles that were more attractive.
The halo brow, the brainchild of 16-year-old Hannah Lyne…
…and yet despite this there are some people who still want to give 16 year olds the vote.
British teen girl seflie pose checklist:
Remove eyebrows, reapply with marker pen
Apply fake tan with trowel until you look like someone who just fell in a cowpat.
Inflate hair to maximum hugeness
Pout til you look like your mouth’s on sideways.
why does Dicentra hate your readership?
She made me post it, I swear. She’s broad-backed and freakishly strong.
A couple of years ago, at a family gathering in a restaurant, I was seated opposite a teenage nephew and his girlfriend at the time, who was clearly quite interested in the, um, experimental use of cosmetics. She’d shaved off her eyebrows, entirely, and replaced them with what she presumably considered more artistic approximations, rendered in what looked like marker pen. Or possibly brown crayon. Either way, they weren’t entirely convincing, or even roughly symmetrical. It was quite distracting, almost surreal, and I had to stop myself staring in wonderment.
My friend went out with a woman who had had her eyebrows lasered off and another set tattood on in their places when she was in her twenties. By the time my mate met her she was well into her thirties and had regular botox injections.
This was a problem for me because I kept having to lift my pint to my lips to try and hide the smirks. Not only did this get me more drunk than I wished but if I snorted heavily into my pint I’d end up with a wet face.
My pints always had a fabulous head though.
a woman who had had her eyebrows lasered off and another set tattooed on in their places
I don’t spend much time pondering ladies’ eyebrows, but when you’re sitting opposite a really outlandish pair, applied in a somewhat cack-handed fashion, it’s hard not to stare. I wasn’t sure if they were intended as some punk commentary, or just the result of poor hand-eye co-ordination.
Apropos nothing, a peek at how elite American universities select the leaders of tomorrow.
https://admissions.yale.edu/bulldogs-blogs/hannah/2018/02/23/support-student-protests
@W Krebs
Dear Hannah
Will we get rescinded if we get suspended for engaging in a school walk-out to bring attention to gun rights and the 2nd Amendment?
Will we get rescinded if we get suspended for engaging in a school walk-out to bring attention to late-term abortions?
Will we get rescinded if we get suspended for engaging in a school walk-out to support our President?
Etc…
I don’t spend much time pondering ladies’ eyebrows, but when you’re sitting opposite a really outlandish pair, applied in a somewhat cack-handed fashion, it’s hard not to stare. I wasn’t sure if they were intended as some punk commentary, or just the result of poor hand-eye co-ordination.
That reminded me of the Sharpie-marker eyebrows of the chola gang girls in CA, USA I remember reading about on here a bit ago, although they were complaining that their big hoop earrings were being culturally appropriated by evil white women.
Went looking for chola eyebrows and found a Guardian article on the subject:
https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2014/aug/15/-sp-chola-style-cultural-appropriation-fashion-crime
They do think of everything at that newspaper, don’t they.
They do think of everything at that newspaper, don’t they.
Oh, I’m not sure thinking has much to do with it.
If you can’t march beside them, at least stand behind them. And at the very least, do not stand in their way.
Hannah is obviously a woman who spent countless hours playing Lemmings just for the thrill of watching them perish. Little wonder that she ended up taking a degree in Psych and becoming the Senior Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Deputy of the Department of Redundancy Department at Yale.
Somehow, I don’t foresee the uni-oval brow trending.
I could be wrong. After all I am a white hetero male, so what do I know?
I should shut up.
“…brainchild of 16 year old…”
Mozart wrote symphonies as a teen. Hannah created the oval brow.
Who dares say that Hannah is any less creative than dead, white, privileged Mozart?
Who dares say that Hannah is any less creative than dead, white, privileged Mozart?
You forgot male! Can’t forget that! And probably cis-hertero too, and now it’s the grand trifecta of evil and privilege. Oh the horror!
They’re “strangely beautiful,” it says here.
*Wanted to see what the fuss was about.
Clicked on Link.
AUGGH!!! MY INNER EYE!!!
“What’s seen… cannot be un-seen…” { – and yes I know – “no refunds” – }
Kids are experts on everything else these days, why not also this garbage.
OK, maybe I’m just ornery and bitchy today (today?) but in the general scheme of all things fashion, and especially all things teenager-y, I’m not all that bothered by this. My wife watches The Voice whilst I try, vewy vewy haaaard, to keep my mouth shut. Then this comes on. I was far more disturbed to find out that this was not a hat this guy was wearing:
…this was not a hat this guy was wearing
He’s a “multidimensional” artist.
[Turn him upside down and he looks the same]
this was not a hat this guy was wearing
Please tell me that was his hair/extensions and not the donut thing implanted under the skin of the forehead that was a body-modification fad a few years back…
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
“She’d shaved off her eyebrows, entirely, and replaced them with what she presumably considered more artistic approximations, rendered in what looked like marker pen.”
Nearly thirty years ago now, I read in ‘The Coming of the Barbarians”, a book by Pat Barr describing 19th century encounters between Japan and the West, an account of how c1854 the Emperor of Japan had his real eyebrows shaved off and a new set of eyebrows painted on, higher up on his forehead. (I’m sorry I don’t have the text to hand. It’s an interesting book, though.) This made me feel marginally keener about taking up the diplomatic posting in Japan I’d been offered. Unfortunately when I arrived in Japan everyone seemed to have their eyebrows in the place ordained by nature. I had a dull four years there.
I’m not sure there are any conclusions to be drawn from this, but it was the only relevant thing I could find to say.
Please tell me that was his hair/extensions and not the donut thing implanted under the skin of the forehead
Well, I originally thought the former. But now I’m not entirely sure…No, it’s the hair extensions…I think…
This has 4chan or 8chan written all over it.
Here’s Hannah #3, it must be Crazy Hannah Day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybZ71lqmbjA
“Hannah is obviously a woman…”
Squid, this is you “mansuming” the gender identity of Hannah.
What is obvious is that Hannah trancends all false boundaries and obsolete categories of what constitutes gender,art, beauty, fashion, time, space, and eternity.
The unibrow transgresses and liberates every socially constructed concept of femininity and intersects politics, class, and oppressive “free market” economic structures.
The Unibrow is the new “Shot Heard ‘Round the World” in the revolutionary war of the 21sr Century.
Or not…
Lobotomy scar?
advanced boiler repair
Having just finished making a boiler for my steam loco I look forward to repair and maintenance tips via my favourite blog 🙂
Perhaps I can contribute too. Step #1 – pay someone else to do it. It’s hellishly difficult and costs a bomb anyway, may as well just save yourself the stress and worry.
WTP: It might be a good case for a caput circumcision in this gentleman’s case. I know that would be against modern ideas on body modification just to get ‘the look’, but his current ‘uncut’ look isn’t really attractive (IMHO).
https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/nitv-news/article/2018/03/05/ed-sheeran-delights-fans-welcome-country-more-planned-during-australian-tour
Ed Sheeran carrying on from Laurie Penny. If dear Ed is all guilty about stolen land then he will forfeit all profits on his Australian tour amiright?
They say that fucking up is trying something that can’t possibly work just in case it does.
Well Hannah fucked up.