Unseen Energies
It occurs to me that previous visits to the pages of Everyday Feminism may have led readers to suspect that said publication is a haven for the competitively pretentious and neurotically unemployable. Well, this latest article by the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ is sure to shatter such idle preconceptions:
As a follower of Diana; as a worshipper of the sun, the moon, and the earth; and as a witch, it is my responsibility to engage in radical politics.
In case you missed it,
I am a witch.
Therefore, naturally, the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ “seeks community building, universal respect, environmental protection, and alternative forms of healing and living.” And obviously,
All of these aspects of my craft are feminist and revolutionary.
It all sounds terribly radical.
My religious beliefs are inherently radical.
In fact, readers are informed of this radicalness no fewer than nine times. Repeatedly describing oneself as radical is, of course, a sure sign of throbbing iconoclasm. And as a creature of immense and non-conformist insight,
aligning myself with feminist politics is necessary.
Well, our greatest minds have always been drawn to The Indignant Sisterhood.
As you’d imagine, our radical healer is gifted with strange energies and uncanny knowledge:
There are many amazing things that modern medicine offers us that herbal, crystal, and energy healing cannot…
The words efficacy and survival spring to mind.
However, it can’t be denied that the medical industry is just as much a site for racism, transphobia, homophobia, sexism, fatphobia, and ableism as any other institution of systemic oppression.
There’s so much sin to purge. Someone fetch the healing stone.
As a witch and a radical, I see the revolutionary potential in knowing the healing qualities of items that are much more accessible than a lot of modern medications… This is especially salient in a world that inflicts so much emotional damage through systemic oppression.
See how politics and witchcraft intersect. You knew they would.
Both ‘witch’ and ‘feminist’ are radical political identities… A modern identity as a witch is an act to actively identify with practices outside the norm… As a non-binary trans person who rejects marriage, nuclear family structure, division of community, and Christian imperialism, I identify with “witch” as an outsider.
And you have to be radical if you want to fit in with that totally happening non-conformist crowd. When not sharing cosmic insights with the readers of Everyday Feminism, the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ runs “a blog full of short, queer-centric radical prose,” where she – sorry, they – tells a fascinated world about her – sorry, their – fascinating self:
I am a lot of things. I am trans, I am femme, I am queer… I hope to become are a healer and a teacher… I am clairvoyant, I seek a path that leads me to energy work, and I am neuro-divergent.
Specifically,
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.
And,
I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
Consequently,
I still am not filled with love and light.
And hence, one assumes, the feminism. And the fondness for “anti-capitalist ideologies.”
Our neuro-divergent-trans-queer-clairvoyant also runs an online store, where those so intrigued can buy “crystal pendants, hand sewn tarot bags, and pendulums.” And also sea shells. All items, we’re assured, “have been made with positive energy.” Those even more intrigued can avail themselves of “divination services,” i.e., tarot card readings, via email.
Steady, people. No pushing. Form an orderly queue.
I am trans, I am femme, I am queer…
That’s three ‘I’s in one breath. Makes you sound a rather egotistical young… um.
And she hopes to become a healer??
Hmm.
My reading of the text:
I am an unattractive, overweight, devoid of talent, experience and training, bad-tempered b/witch with real mental health issues and a very slight grasp of reality, but you should adore me ‘cos I am a female person and that together with my pretty impressive baggage makes me worth a lot.
But I would truly love to be wrong.
FFS don’t these bloody people ever quit?
I`m a very mellow guy but I really want to give these stupid people a good slap.
Do they honestly believe all this bollocks about crystals and energy healing?
So when he/she gets a serious illness or injury they wont be going to the doctor but rather to see their local witch? all I can say to that is do they want burial or cremation?
My Great Uncle Dumbledore thinks they’re all mad.
And also sea shells.
Snork.
Andy,
Have you never experienced the wonders of rubbing a freshly boiled Parrot’s egg against your forehead to melt away those pesky migraines or a smarting brain tumour?
*runs to fetch healing stone*
Should he/she/it/heesh be using the perpendicular pronoun? After all this introduces a binary dichotomy (Is there any other sort? I ask just in case I am disempowering some other sort of dichotomy) between self and non-self in a way that is surely inherently prejudicial to the latter (My apologies for being positionist, but I couldn’t think of a better word.) Can’t h/s/i/h find another pronoun that blurs the distinctions between these different states and so does not entitle one (Damn. Now I’m being numberist.) over the other?
I fear h/s/i/h is being insufficiently radical to be taken seriously.
[I]t can’t be denied that the medical industry is [a] site for … fatphobia …
Medical professionals expressing concern over obesity? Why the very idea!
I don’t know if anyone else ever watches the satirical news quiz show Have I Got News for You, but in the episode from last Friday , public-school educated stand-up comedian Hal Cruttenden asked a Conservative MP on the panel (about 06:52):
“Is it really embarrassing being right wing sometimes?”
Is further comment needed in light of Kris Nelson and the many, many, many other examples of multi-storied fruitcakery on the Left?
Look right!
& adverts for Julie Bindel books on the Amazon advert!!!!!
David, sabotage?
& = 6
got carried away by the shock!
Remember, Lurker, when combining pronouns, always put the feminine first. Thus, your he/she/it should be she/he/it, which really makes heesh unnecessary.
I before thee,
Except after me.
Wow, that’s quite a train wreck. You can’t be a witch unless you’re doing it his/her/its way. The “neuro-divergent” are always noted for being the soul of reason, but she/he/it has so much more to offer. America needs “radical” leadership like this! And I’m radical because I’m so radical and that’s radical.
*runs to fetch healing stone*
No, not that one. The one at the back, the really big one. You may have to drag it.
Two with points, two flats, and a packet of gravel please.
Seems odd that she isn’t having a Black Friday sale
Picture the scene: he/she/it is wheeled into the emergency room with a compound fracture of the right leg. Does she go for (a) the white witch holding the healing crystal or (b) the sexist white male Consultant orthopaedic surgeon?
$20 for a sea shell with a bit of wire wrapped around it:
http://kristheresa.storenvy.com/collections/1055280-shells/products/14625597-infinity-shell-pendant
She may be queer and neuro-whatsit but she is also a capitalist, red in tooth and claw.
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.
One would think a real witch might have a spell or potion to fix that sort of thing.
If I say you are ill (or your soul out of alignment with natural forces) how are you going to disprove what i say? You clearly are unhappy, dear patient, or you wouldn’t be poking round quackery. You are probably suffering from gullibility.
Therefore If I say you are better, then you are! Bingo! That will be £75 please (plus VAT)
Ah, I see how this works now…
I’m clairvoyant as well. From even this great distance I can tell that the sales of hand-sewn tarot cards are not sufficient to provide for a basic standard of living and this entity is heavily supported by taxpayers in whatever domain it resides. Don’t question me, this is something I just know. After reading such micro aggressive drivel I don’t have strict control over my moods nor emotions either.
BTW, I think the order is more properly she/it/he. Can even be pronounced s h I t t y
she-he-it
Slur it together with a hillbilly drawl.
For second person go with ‘fool’
“Don’t question me, this is something I just know.”
Or, in current jargon, “I will not enact the labor to explain.”
I am trans, I am femme, I am queer…
I am the walrus, goo goo g’ joob
Isn’t that how the song goes?
Our neuro-divergent-trans-queer-clairvoyant also runs an online store, where those so intrigued can buy “crystal pendants, hand sewn tarot bags, and pendulums.” And also sea shells. Those even more intrigued can avail
She sells Sheashells at the online store doen’t have quite the ring to it does it?
And also sea shells.
Not just any shells, shells that retain the protective qualities of sea water and charged under a blue moon – don’t be fooled by those cheap Chinese shells charged under a regular moon.
The protective qualities of sea water are well known as any passenger from the Titanic can attest.
And don’t miss her poetry blog either! http://songswithoutlyrics.tumblr.com/ Those who make it beyond the first poem may notice a distinct theme embodied by repeated use of the words ‘I’ and ‘My’. Of course we can in no way draw any conclusions of total egocentric solipsism from this. In. no. way.
Remember when in days of yore the vile patriarchy marginalized minority voices like, can you imagine that? I know great isn’t it?
muscles sore from the work of existing
She/it/he too? Quitting is always an option.
I think the cause of xyts dysfunction is revealed:
It’s from Los Angeles, California. The rest of the US sums up California as being like granola; what isn’t fruits or nuts, is flakes. Kris seems like the complete package!
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.[…]I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
I know I’ve banged this drum here before, but what she’s describing isn’t autism or bipolar disorder. In toto, along with the obsessive self-centerednes, that’s borderline personality disorder. Currently known as complex PTSD, because it always results from severe sustained childhood sexual abuse (or more rarely, physical abuse) that’s covered up.
This is her coping mechanism, as broken as it is.
“I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.”
You’re a loon.
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia… I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
I’m trying to think when exactly it became so fashionable to parade all of one’s mental health issues, real or invented, as if it were a competition to be the most broken and dysfunctional. It seemed to coincide with the arrival of Tumblr, but perhaps that just made visible a pre-existing trend.
“herbal, crystal, and energy healing”
David, your aura is full of negative energy.
If you transfer enough money for me to upgrade to a higher speed connection, showing your aura in HD, I will provide a diagnosis and remedies for only a small additional fee. 😉
“I am the walrus, goo goo g’ joob”
Even more terrible than the Terrible Sea Lion.
http://wondermark.com/1k62/
David, your aura is full of negative energy.
Damn. I was hoping that $30 magic sea shell would take the edge off and make me more agreeable.
American Football coach Lou Holtz says “Never tell people your problems. 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them”. May apply for present company but going forward maybe less so.
Before the internet, which allows these people to publish their thoughts as opposed to drooling alone in their apartments, what did we do for entertainment?
I like how “modern Medicine” supports “ableism”, which I suppose means that it makes people better.
“witch” seems shockingly gendered, in context. “person of Wicca”, surely? Or wicker, take your pick.
I used to, vaguely, know one of these. A mutual friend kept me up with the news.
The “witch” was married. Her hubby developed Type 1 diabetes. She announced she would cure him. He got worse.
The husband contracted cancer. She announced she would cure him. He died.
I believe she continues to thrive, financially, as a “healer”.
I wonder what she thinks of black dwarf one-legged cis-male gynecologists?
I fear h/s/i/h is being insufficiently radical to be taken seriously.
And you would be correct. It should be lower case she/he/it/trans or s/h/i/t for short
“As a non-binary trans person who rejects marriage, nuclear family structure, division of community, and Christian imperialism, I identify with “witch” as an outsider.”
“Not you. Not you. No, too imperialistic. Too straight. Not radical enough. Hmm, is this all you have?”
“I think we’ve got some witchcraft in the back”
“Well, if that’s all that’s left.”
This,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGIbOGu8q0
Speaking of “fatphobia”…
Don’t know how many of you here are from Southern California, but there has been a blitz of TV ads recently on a new “disease” termed “BED” or “Binge Eating Disorder”, of course featuring an obese woman (what else) as a spokesperson.
So now the land whales have a new excuse to pound down pizza and 3 orders of Big Macs w/fries.
How lovely.
Oh, and for all who are celebrating Thanksgiving, here’s a special post I picked up earlier today…near had me on the floor!
How to cook the perfect turkey:
Blackfive: “How To Cook A Turkey”
1) Go buy a turkey.
2) Take a drink of scotch whisky (Laphroiag, Lagavulin, or Caol Ila).
3) Put turkey in the oven.
4) Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
5) Set the degree at 375 ovens
6) Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
7) Turn oven the on.
8) Take 4 whisks of drinky.
9) Turk the bastey.
10) Whiskey another bottle of get.
11) Stick a turkey in the thermometer
12) Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
13) Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
14) Take the oven out of the turkey.
15) Take the oven out of the turkey.
16) Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
17) Turk the carvey.
18) Get yourself another scottle of botch.
19) Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
20) Bless the saying, pass and eat out.
Witches, then and now.
1965
2015
Progress!
Wow. How does someone get this messed up?
Wow. How does someone get this messed up?
Yes, it’s quite the dumpster fire of pretension, narcissism and regurgitated dogma. Apparently, the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ boasts “a BA in Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies” from the University of Vermont, where annual tuition is around $40,000, and where, it says here, she – sorry, they – “were heavily involved in campus activism, including becoming one of the co-founders of UVM C.U.N.T.S (College Undergrads Not Tolerating Sexism).”
So clearly an intellectual heavyweight who spent her – sorry, their – time and tuition wisely.
I suppose the question is how unmoored from reality someone is before they stride, open-mouthed and credulous, into academia’s Clown Quarter. I mean, is a degree in transparently question-begging horseshit something that a functional person would regard as The Best Possible Use Of A Very Expensive One-Time Opportunity?
Wow. How does someone get this messed up?
Kris Nelson is pitiful. Not so very long ago ‘they’ would have been committed to an asylum, but now we have the internet.
I was afraid to follow the link to “Sex Tips that don’t Suck.”
By the way, the sea shells, like every other bit of tat on offer, have “been made with positive energy.” All items, we’re assured, “have been cleansed and charged.”
Though despite being a purveyor of this “positive energy” – handling it daily, one assumes – our vendor of good vibrations tells us that
shethey still suffers from chronic insomnia and “generalised anxiety,” and has little or no control overhertheir moods and emotions. “I still am not filled with love and light,” saysshethey. Which rather makes me question the efficacy of said objects.I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
Who does? Moods and emotions are hard to control. I had thought, though, that part of being an adult was doing your best to control your reactions to those moods and emotions. Certainly mental illness can make that much more difficult, but I’ve become cynical enough to wonder just how many of these people are using it as an excuse not to even try. Some of them seem to even embrace it. ‘I’m mentally ill! That means I get to be a bitch all the time and no one can call me on it!’
That’s three ‘I’s in one breath. Makes you sound a rather egotistical young… um.
Anon, quoting Dr. Who #6 (the worst one too) is NOT a sign of intellectual superiority here! Do better…
Full Filter, if that recipe, or the preparations involved, all fail, there’s always the backup turkey to consider… You DO have a backup turkey, right?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOyQ3nTDgCs
Excellent Apollo 13 spoof! I’m reliably told Gene Kranz loved it!!!
“The protective qualities of sea water are well known as any passenger from the Titanic can attest.” Almost choked on my Thanksgiving cereal.
The poor thing. She’ll either become more self-defensively deluded, or snap out of it and become a suburban housewife. I’ve seen both happen in the cases of “autistic/mentally ill/loudly feminist” people.
Or wait, “they” will become suburban housewiveses.
‘I’m mentally ill! That means I get to be a bitch all the time and no one can call me on it!’
That does seem to be a convenient benefit, the license for contrarianism and obnoxious self-involvement. It’s also, I suppose, a way to appear interesting, if only to the credulous, which may explain why so many students and teenagers are buying into it. Teenagers are known for wanting to express their incredible individualism by adopting a ready-made niche affiliation that their parents wouldn’t like.
And so the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ wants us to know she’s desperately fond of “radical political identities,” such that
she– sorry, they – wishes to “actively identify with practices outside the norm.” Even if that identity is cartoonish and entails the cultivation of a determined idiocy.That’s taking needy to a whole new level.
Take care or she might turn you into a newt!
We have been supplied with a rather long list of maladies witchcraft can’t cure
“Radical” seems like one of those terms that has to be given you by another. You shouldn’t be allowed to crown yourself with it. And as for the witch claim, does he fly on a broomstick? Does he float? What sort of magic can he do? He’s not much of a witch if he can’t do magic.
I may have been confused by the “Kris,” is this a woman?
I may have been confused by the “Kris,” is this a woman?
Technically yes, but as “Posted by: Steve 2 – A Touch of Stevil | November 26, 2015 at 21:53”, it could be a topic of much debate.
“Radical” seems like one of those terms that has to be given you by another. You shouldn’t be allowed to crown yourself with it.
That.
And in case anyone thinks the narcissistic woolliness above is some random anomaly, don’t forget this.
“Scholarships available.”
I would like to say, I have read Kris’ article on witchcraft and feminism and you are picking apart a truly good person. They are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and I’m a straight, cis gender girl and Kris was always open to talking to me in an extremely non-judgmental way. There is nothing inherently wrong about what they wrote, but what YOU wrote picking apart their work puts it in this light. I think you should really evaluate your own life and get off your high horse, when you clearly are too boring and have no ideas of your own to write about so that you stoop to making fun of someone else. All you commenters, read Kris’ piece before getting on and agreeing with this writer. Poor etiquette, really.
There is nothing inherently wrong about what they wrote, but what YOU wrote picking apart their work puts it in this light.
Madam, I think you overestimate my (earthly) powers. I doubt I have the means to make a person’s outpourings seem quite so… noteworthy. And readers are welcome, in fact encouraged, to peruse the original to see if I’ve been in any way mischievous or terribly unfair. Hence the links, of course.
I think you should really evaluate your own life and get off your high horse, when you clearly are too boring and have no ideas of your own to write about so that you stoop to making fun of someone else.
Well, self-awareness and realism are generally good things and I can only aspire to the heights you occupy. Incidentally, are you the Madison Scott-Kerley who describes herself as a “politically savvy feminist buzzkill”?
*gets popcorn*
Hi Madison
I dare say the commenters here (including me) have read the whole thing and I fail to see any comment here that wasn’t deserved by Kris’ nearly incoherent piece.
From the outset, Kris declares her worship of Diana (a Greek goddess … not exactly a Feminist-oriented Society) and includes
.. a Judeo-Christian principle that never existed in the multi-god universe of Greek/Roman worship.
Which makes her comments on “Christian imperialism” amusingly ironic.
I do note that you, too, are deep down the identity-cult rabbit hole, sprinkling your comment with any number of virtue-signalling words.
Brava. Please comment again.
There is nothing inherently wrong about what they wrote, but what YOU wrote picking apart their work puts it in this light.
So the fact Kris Nelson sounds incredibly batty and pretentious is all David’s fault? Because… he quoted what “they” wrote?
How DARE he!
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety,
I am an altruistic lefty and a woman of such piety,
And I will not rest until everyone is just as miserable,
Why, I am the very model of a modern left-wing liberal!
Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan. And further apologies if you now have that tune stuck in your head.
Trans, femme. A bloke who’s become a woman. Queer. But fancies women. That’s a heterosexual male who wants his bits off. Right?
In my day, we would have just referred to this person as bugnutz crazy.
@Madison
I think our host is just holding up a mirror. If you (or they) don’t like what you see…
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety,
I am an altruistic lefty and a woman of such piety,
Oh here y’go, How to Write Your Own Gilbert and Sullivan Opera, parts one and two.
. . . granting I still prefer Introduction to the Concert (By the Women’s Club President) , and even more so, the absolute classic Wagner’s Ring . . . .
My religious beliefs are inherently radical.
I thought identity politics already was a religion. They don’t like blasphemers.
I thought identity politics already was a religion.
Nah, it’s merely faith, rather than religion.
They don’t like blasphemers.
That’s the giveaway that they quite merely only have faith. The religious just shrug; One’s direct experience is one’s direct experience. By contrast, those with Faith—pause here to genuflect—are required by the nature and definition of faith to have someone to accuse, or preach to.
I think I sense some wailrage on the way…
The comments make this entire thing a great read 😛