Unseen Energies
It occurs to me that previous visits to the pages of Everyday Feminism may have led readers to suspect that said publication is a haven for the competitively pretentious and neurotically unemployable. Well, this latest article by the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ is sure to shatter such idle preconceptions:
As a follower of Diana; as a worshipper of the sun, the moon, and the earth; and as a witch, it is my responsibility to engage in radical politics.
In case you missed it,
I am a witch.
Therefore, naturally, the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ “seeks community building, universal respect, environmental protection, and alternative forms of healing and living.” And obviously,
All of these aspects of my craft are feminist and revolutionary.
It all sounds terribly radical.
My religious beliefs are inherently radical.
In fact, readers are informed of this radicalness no fewer than nine times. Repeatedly describing oneself as radical is, of course, a sure sign of throbbing iconoclasm. And as a creature of immense and non-conformist insight,
aligning myself with feminist politics is necessary.
Well, our greatest minds have always been drawn to The Indignant Sisterhood.
As you’d imagine, our radical healer is gifted with strange energies and uncanny knowledge:
There are many amazing things that modern medicine offers us that herbal, crystal, and energy healing cannot…
The words efficacy and survival spring to mind.
However, it can’t be denied that the medical industry is just as much a site for racism, transphobia, homophobia, sexism, fatphobia, and ableism as any other institution of systemic oppression.
There’s so much sin to purge. Someone fetch the healing stone.
As a witch and a radical, I see the revolutionary potential in knowing the healing qualities of items that are much more accessible than a lot of modern medications… This is especially salient in a world that inflicts so much emotional damage through systemic oppression.
See how politics and witchcraft intersect. You knew they would.
Both ‘witch’ and ‘feminist’ are radical political identities… A modern identity as a witch is an act to actively identify with practices outside the norm… As a non-binary trans person who rejects marriage, nuclear family structure, division of community, and Christian imperialism, I identify with “witch” as an outsider.
And you have to be radical if you want to fit in with that totally happening non-conformist crowd. When not sharing cosmic insights with the readers of Everyday Feminism, the non-binary pronoun nightmare known as Kris Nelson™ runs “a blog full of short, queer-centric radical prose,” where she – sorry, they – tells a fascinated world about her – sorry, their – fascinating self:
I am a lot of things. I am trans, I am femme, I am queer… I hope to become are a healer and a teacher… I am clairvoyant, I seek a path that leads me to energy work, and I am neuro-divergent.
Specifically,
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.
And,
I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
Consequently,
I still am not filled with love and light.
And hence, one assumes, the feminism. And the fondness for “anti-capitalist ideologies.”
Our neuro-divergent-trans-queer-clairvoyant also runs an online store, where those so intrigued can buy “crystal pendants, hand sewn tarot bags, and pendulums.” And also sea shells. All items, we’re assured, “have been made with positive energy.” Those even more intrigued can avail themselves of “divination services,” i.e., tarot card readings, via email.
Steady, people. No pushing. Form an orderly queue.
I am trans, I am femme, I am queer…
That’s three ‘I’s in one breath. Makes you sound a rather egotistical young… um.
And she hopes to become a healer??
Hmm.
My reading of the text:
I am an unattractive, overweight, devoid of talent, experience and training, bad-tempered b/witch with real mental health issues and a very slight grasp of reality, but you should adore me ‘cos I am a female person and that together with my pretty impressive baggage makes me worth a lot.
But I would truly love to be wrong.
FFS don’t these bloody people ever quit?
I`m a very mellow guy but I really want to give these stupid people a good slap.
Do they honestly believe all this bollocks about crystals and energy healing?
So when he/she gets a serious illness or injury they wont be going to the doctor but rather to see their local witch? all I can say to that is do they want burial or cremation?
My Great Uncle Dumbledore thinks they’re all mad.
And also sea shells.
Snork.
Andy,
Have you never experienced the wonders of rubbing a freshly boiled Parrot’s egg against your forehead to melt away those pesky migraines or a smarting brain tumour?
*runs to fetch healing stone*
Should he/she/it/heesh be using the perpendicular pronoun? After all this introduces a binary dichotomy (Is there any other sort? I ask just in case I am disempowering some other sort of dichotomy) between self and non-self in a way that is surely inherently prejudicial to the latter (My apologies for being positionist, but I couldn’t think of a better word.) Can’t h/s/i/h find another pronoun that blurs the distinctions between these different states and so does not entitle one (Damn. Now I’m being numberist.) over the other?
I fear h/s/i/h is being insufficiently radical to be taken seriously.
[I]t can’t be denied that the medical industry is [a] site for … fatphobia …
Medical professionals expressing concern over obesity? Why the very idea!
I don’t know if anyone else ever watches the satirical news quiz show Have I Got News for You, but in the episode from last Friday , public-school educated stand-up comedian Hal Cruttenden asked a Conservative MP on the panel (about 06:52):
“Is it really embarrassing being right wing sometimes?”
Is further comment needed in light of Kris Nelson and the many, many, many other examples of multi-storied fruitcakery on the Left?
Look right!
& adverts for Julie Bindel books on the Amazon advert!!!!!
David, sabotage?
& = 6
got carried away by the shock!
Remember, Lurker, when combining pronouns, always put the feminine first. Thus, your he/she/it should be she/he/it, which really makes heesh unnecessary.
I before thee,
Except after me.
Wow, that’s quite a train wreck. You can’t be a witch unless you’re doing it his/her/its way. The “neuro-divergent” are always noted for being the soul of reason, but she/he/it has so much more to offer. America needs “radical” leadership like this! And I’m radical because I’m so radical and that’s radical.
*runs to fetch healing stone*
No, not that one. The one at the back, the really big one. You may have to drag it.
Two with points, two flats, and a packet of gravel please.
Seems odd that she isn’t having a Black Friday sale
Picture the scene: he/she/it is wheeled into the emergency room with a compound fracture of the right leg. Does she go for (a) the white witch holding the healing crystal or (b) the sexist white male Consultant orthopaedic surgeon?
$20 for a sea shell with a bit of wire wrapped around it:
http://kristheresa.storenvy.com/collections/1055280-shells/products/14625597-infinity-shell-pendant
She may be queer and neuro-whatsit but she is also a capitalist, red in tooth and claw.
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.
One would think a real witch might have a spell or potion to fix that sort of thing.
If I say you are ill (or your soul out of alignment with natural forces) how are you going to disprove what i say? You clearly are unhappy, dear patient, or you wouldn’t be poking round quackery. You are probably suffering from gullibility.
Therefore If I say you are better, then you are! Bingo! That will be £75 please (plus VAT)
Ah, I see how this works now…
I’m clairvoyant as well. From even this great distance I can tell that the sales of hand-sewn tarot cards are not sufficient to provide for a basic standard of living and this entity is heavily supported by taxpayers in whatever domain it resides. Don’t question me, this is something I just know. After reading such micro aggressive drivel I don’t have strict control over my moods nor emotions either.
BTW, I think the order is more properly she/it/he. Can even be pronounced s h I t t y
she-he-it
Slur it together with a hillbilly drawl.
For second person go with ‘fool’
“Don’t question me, this is something I just know.”
Or, in current jargon, “I will not enact the labor to explain.”
I am trans, I am femme, I am queer…
I am the walrus, goo goo g’ joob
Isn’t that how the song goes?
Our neuro-divergent-trans-queer-clairvoyant also runs an online store, where those so intrigued can buy “crystal pendants, hand sewn tarot bags, and pendulums.” And also sea shells. Those even more intrigued can avail
She sells Sheashells at the online store doen’t have quite the ring to it does it?
And also sea shells.
Not just any shells, shells that retain the protective qualities of sea water and charged under a blue moon – don’t be fooled by those cheap Chinese shells charged under a regular moon.
The protective qualities of sea water are well known as any passenger from the Titanic can attest.
And don’t miss her poetry blog either! http://songswithoutlyrics.tumblr.com/ Those who make it beyond the first poem may notice a distinct theme embodied by repeated use of the words ‘I’ and ‘My’. Of course we can in no way draw any conclusions of total egocentric solipsism from this. In. no. way.
Remember when in days of yore the vile patriarchy marginalized minority voices like, can you imagine that? I know great isn’t it?
muscles sore from the work of existing
She/it/he too? Quitting is always an option.
I think the cause of xyts dysfunction is revealed:
It’s from Los Angeles, California. The rest of the US sums up California as being like granola; what isn’t fruits or nuts, is flakes. Kris seems like the complete package!
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.[…]I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
I know I’ve banged this drum here before, but what she’s describing isn’t autism or bipolar disorder. In toto, along with the obsessive self-centerednes, that’s borderline personality disorder. Currently known as complex PTSD, because it always results from severe sustained childhood sexual abuse (or more rarely, physical abuse) that’s covered up.
This is her coping mechanism, as broken as it is.
“I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia.”
You’re a loon.
I am autistic, I am bipolar, I have generalised anxiety, and chronic insomnia… I do not have strict control over my moods and emotions.
I’m trying to think when exactly it became so fashionable to parade all of one’s mental health issues, real or invented, as if it were a competition to be the most broken and dysfunctional. It seemed to coincide with the arrival of Tumblr, but perhaps that just made visible a pre-existing trend.
“herbal, crystal, and energy healing”
David, your aura is full of negative energy.
If you transfer enough money for me to upgrade to a higher speed connection, showing your aura in HD, I will provide a diagnosis and remedies for only a small additional fee. 😉
“I am the walrus, goo goo g’ joob”
Even more terrible than the Terrible Sea Lion.
http://wondermark.com/1k62/
David, your aura is full of negative energy.
Damn. I was hoping that $30 magic sea shell would take the edge off and make me more agreeable.
American Football coach Lou Holtz says “Never tell people your problems. 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them”. May apply for present company but going forward maybe less so.
Before the internet, which allows these people to publish their thoughts as opposed to drooling alone in their apartments, what did we do for entertainment?
I like how “modern Medicine” supports “ableism”, which I suppose means that it makes people better.
“witch” seems shockingly gendered, in context. “person of Wicca”, surely? Or wicker, take your pick.
I used to, vaguely, know one of these. A mutual friend kept me up with the news.
The “witch” was married. Her hubby developed Type 1 diabetes. She announced she would cure him. He got worse.
The husband contracted cancer. She announced she would cure him. He died.
I believe she continues to thrive, financially, as a “healer”.
I wonder what she thinks of black dwarf one-legged cis-male gynecologists?
I fear h/s/i/h is being insufficiently radical to be taken seriously.
And you would be correct. It should be lower case she/he/it/trans or s/h/i/t for short
“As a non-binary trans person who rejects marriage, nuclear family structure, division of community, and Christian imperialism, I identify with “witch” as an outsider.”
“Not you. Not you. No, too imperialistic. Too straight. Not radical enough. Hmm, is this all you have?”
“I think we’ve got some witchcraft in the back”
“Well, if that’s all that’s left.”
This,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGIbOGu8q0
Speaking of “fatphobia”…
Don’t know how many of you here are from Southern California, but there has been a blitz of TV ads recently on a new “disease” termed “BED” or “Binge Eating Disorder”, of course featuring an obese woman (what else) as a spokesperson.
So now the land whales have a new excuse to pound down pizza and 3 orders of Big Macs w/fries.
How lovely.
Oh, and for all who are celebrating Thanksgiving, here’s a special post I picked up earlier today…near had me on the floor!
How to cook the perfect turkey:
Blackfive: “How To Cook A Turkey”
1) Go buy a turkey.
2) Take a drink of scotch whisky (Laphroiag, Lagavulin, or Caol Ila).
3) Put turkey in the oven.
4) Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
5) Set the degree at 375 ovens
6) Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
7) Turn oven the on.
8) Take 4 whisks of drinky.
9) Turk the bastey.
10) Whiskey another bottle of get.
11) Stick a turkey in the thermometer
12) Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
13) Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
14) Take the oven out of the turkey.
15) Take the oven out of the turkey.
16) Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
17) Turk the carvey.
18) Get yourself another scottle of botch.
19) Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
20) Bless the saying, pass and eat out.
Witches, then and now.


1965
2015
Progress!
Wow. How does someone get this messed up?