More of a Cough, Really

That’s the wife’s Christmas present sorted.
I picture her face lighting up. As she launches your belongings, now on fire, into the street.

Who knew 12 seconds could be interminable? I think it needs boobs.

Actually she was moderately amused until the power went out a couple times and she tried to reset it. Now it sits on my desk.
That’s the trouble with ironic gifts. They’re often more fun to give than receive. I’ve given some real stinkers over the years, most of which amused me no end but were met with bewilderment and politely muffled disappointment. A friend of mine, though, is quite skilled at picking ironic gifts. She has a knack for it. My bookcase now looks like an ephemera post brought to strange and horrible life.

Let me try that again without greater-then and less-then signs:
Mr. X: Happy Birthday Mr. Y; here, have a garden gnome.
[a couple of days later]
Mr. Y [whispering to his wife]: Here keep the X’s distracted while I sneak the gnome into their luggage.
[a few months later]
Mr. Z: It was so nice to see the X’s again – Why is there a garden gnome tucked into our bed?

The suspense was unbearable.

They’re often more fun to give than receive. I’ve given some real stinkers over the years, most of which amused me no end but were met with bewilderment and politely muffled disappointment.
I’m reminded of a Christmas almost 20 years ago now, when my nephew was about four years old. My sister and her husband taught him how to be thankful for the gifts he received, and when the whole familiy got together, somebody gave him some battery-operated toy, with the batteries wrapped up in a small pacakage, and the toy they went into wrapped up in a bigger box.
So the nephew takes the smaller box and unwraps it first, revealing the batteries. At which point he holds them up, displays them proudly to everybdoy, and says, “Just what I ALWAYS WANTED!”
I don’t think he understood why we all broke out in hysterical laughter.