But Does It Massage the Buttocks?
John Leo shares news from the cutting edge of on-campus student care:
This has been a big year for sleep at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. The Shapiro Undergraduate Library cleared away some dusty and disposable books on the first floor and six cots were installed, offering weary students “a safe place for brief spells of restorative sleep,” or “naps,” as they are known in campus shorthand. These brief spells have been limited to 30 minutes, and the space, in a well-trafficked area on the first floor of Shapiro, was equipped with vinyl cots, disinfecting wipes, disposable pillowcases, and lockers.
Best not to linger on the need for disinfectant wipes. Or instructions to “wipe down the cot when you are done.”
Detractors observed that throwing out all those books so that students could sleep during the day was an unfortunate bit of symbolism, particularly since most students… already had safe places for brief spells of restorative sleep, usually known as “dorms.”
However, even these comforts may be insufficient for our awfully fatigued thinkers of tomorrow. And so,
Last month, the university library started testing a MetroNaps EnergyPod (in English: a nap machine) that looks like a dental chair encased in a plastic egg and sells for just under $13,000.
The EnergyPod comes with a hemispherical privacy visor “for additional seclusion,” an adjustable timer, and speakers, from which you’ll hear “specially devised rhythms to facilitate relaxation.”
It can vibrate gently and wake you up slowly to soothing music. Google and several colleges have them. St. Leo College in Florida has installed them in dorms so commuters can use them and dorm-dwellers don’t have to go all the way upstairs to take a nap. After all, what is college without a $13,000 vibrating nap machine?
If $13,000 vibrating nap machines sound a tad indulgent, it’s worth bearing in mind that the University of Michigan was noted here previously for hiking tuition, pledging fiscal responsibility, then spending $400,000 to relocate one tree.
Photographic evidence of Michigan’s sleep-deprived students and the terrible crushing pressures of academic life can be found here. Readers are advised that some scenes may be distressing.
Be strong. Take tissues.
The EnergyPod comes with a hemispherical privacy visor “for additional seclusion,” an adjustable timer, and speakers, from which you’ll hear “specially devised rhythms to facilitate relaxation.”
Reminds me of an episode of Deep Space Nine.
http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii602/warburtd/DS9/525_zpse457050d.png
Heh. The chamber that defended against the menace of “cellular ennui.” That was one of the funnier episodes.
What’s the betting that it’ll primarily be used for non-sleep horizontal activities?
What’s the betting that it’ll primarily be used for non-sleep horizontal activities?
A bit cramped, surely? And I fear there might be some stability issues.
So that’s what the disinfectant wipes are for.
This chap demonstrates the four basic modes of student concentration. While others have mastered the more advanced ‘support-head-with-litter-bin’ method.
Naps? What is it, a University or a kindergarten?
What Sam said, word for word. Do some people have no self-respect at all?
Well, what can you expect when these young people are forced to listen to soporific lectures in Womyn’s Studies. Better to attend this institution of higher learning.
Disclosure: As a parent, there’s nothing better than hearing one’s offspring declare, “I’m majoring in blowing shit up.”
Haven’t universities infantilized them enough?
In unrelated news, students demonstrate against high tuition fees and college administrators tearfully plead extreme poverty.
In unrelated news, students demonstrate against high tuition fees and college administrators tearfully plead extreme poverty.
This seems relevant.
Heh…I originally read that as “But does it massage the bollocks?” Hmm…
That would cost extra.
It’s silly throwing away books (even disposable books, though aren’t they all?) when with imagination you can arrange a pile of tomes into an interesting bed shape and sleep on that. It may not be comfortable but the symbolism is awesome.
My goodness what more does the offspring of the entitled need? Oh! I see this is reverse social justice the entitled need to long as much as the people who do not seek any education.
Whoops; previous shouldn’t read long. Lounge
Back in the day, “vibrating nap machines” were known at cats.
https://twitter.com/jackjolis/status/510876400950448129?refsrc=email
Heh.
Making sure the students have an afternoon nap is important, otherwise they tend to become fractious and act up later. But getting them to put their toys back in the hamper before settling down with their binkies is a nightmare. And you can’t let them sleep too long, or getting them down at night is impossible.
OT
Good grief, is there nothing in this world about which Noam Chomsky does not feel himself qualified to make the most grandiose and sweeping statements?
I mean it’s one thing to have a personal opinion; surely quite another to make statements like this one:
Europe [1] was the most savage place in the world [2] for centuries [3], while the nation state system was being imposed [4]
[1] Does he mean the Europe which emerged out of the Roman empire or Europe from Russia to Spain? What about Turkey?
[2] ‘most savage’ by what measure? Compared to who? Ghenghis Khan?
[3] Which ones? Which centuries?
[4] Imposed by whom? And in order to impose it, wouldn’t they have had to have a plan of some kind so that they knew what it was that was being imposed? And what was that plan and just who was it who drew it up?
etc.
More here for the curious. He’s talking about Scottish independence, incidentally.
Not as much fun as 2048.
David
I suspect that you’ve seen this already, but just in case:
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/sep/15/how-super-rich-got-richer-10-shocking-facts-inequality
It contains the usual Guardian stuff about how the “super rich” are getting richer and inequality is “spiralling out of control”. Except that this time, they present us with actual scientific evidence that proves that people whose political outlook differs from their own are hateful and wicked.
If you haven’t already, have a read. It’s a peach.
Back in the day, “vibrating nap machines” were known at cats.
I’m still not sure how you can expect someone to take a cat nap without a cat.
Hence the one I’ve got.
Will the energy pod be equipped with embedded subliminal messaging?
Nik,
I suspect that you’ve seen this already,
I hadn’t, but Mr Dorling is up there with Polly Toynbee and the NEF when it comes to arithmetical errors, misused terms and mangled statistics. If memory serves, he once claimed that variation in IQ wasn’t natural, or real, or something to that effect. From what I can make out, he seems to resent the fact that some of the customary professions of Guardian readers aren’t as “1%” as he’d like. Including, presumably, “social geographers” and other comedy academics who struggle with numbers and don’t quite understand the terms they throw about.
Tim Worstall has had quite a few pops at Mr Dorling over the years.
If $13,000 vibrating nap machines sound a tad indulgent, it’s worth bearing in mind that the University of Michigan was noted here previously for hiking tuition, pledging fiscal responsibility, then spending $400,000 to relocate one tree.
“tuition, fees and living expense for a 4 year bachelor’s degree at University of Michigan Ann Arbor is $96,744”
http://www.collegecalc.org/colleges/michigan/university-of-michigan-ann-arbor/
http://jakonrath.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/nonsense-united.html
$13,000 vibrating nap machines
Good God! In my days at Uni if you wanted a nap then you went to a lecture.
In my days at Uni if you wanted a nap then you went to a lecture.
Fear not. That proud tradition lives on.
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