A Niche Appetite
Speaking, as we were, of farmyard erotica, here’s a thing to ponder:
The court heard that he initially removed cow pats from the farm but his behaviour escalated, with Truscott regularly entering the farm to perform a sex act in slurry.
I’m not easily scandalised but the term “cow slurry fetishist” did raise an eyebrow.
Holy cow.
At least he wasn’t after the animals.
You need a special category tag for things like that.
You need a special category tag for things like that.
I’m open to suggestions.
#futureliberalcauses
Slurfecalist?
I suddenly feel much better about wearing my wife’s stockings under my trousers.
Wow, No Sh—Oh, wait, actually, more so than the usual claims of artistic importance and culture.
Oh, wait, actually there’s absolutely a lot of culture in all that, it’s just not necessarily cultural
. . or at least there’s a lot of barnyard culture . . .
Yes, the possibilities are just lying all over the place with this one, aren’t they . . . .
The Slurry With The Fringe On Top was a lovely song, I believe.
Ah, Cornwall.
Would it not be cheaper for everyone inlcuding the poor taxpayer, if this poor fella had 200-300 kg of “slurry” delivered to his “place of abode” each day? Even taking into account the council’s costs of removing his “used slurry” each day, it would be cheaper than incarcerating him.
I’ve no doubt he had been drinking, which is why he went all slurry. Hard to pronounce things properly when under the influence, as it were.
There must be more embarrassing ways to come to the attention of the local constabulary, but I’m pressed to think of any offhand.
You hateful hating haters!
He’s not a weirdo.
He’s a dung beetle trapped inside a man’s body.
He needs compassion, respect, support…and very expensive species reassignment surgery.
Is it insensitive to laugh?
Everybody has something the rest of us would consider a kink.
Everybody has something the rest of us would consider a kink.
Is there something you’d like to share, Ted? Don’t worry, you’re among friends. We won’t tell.
Clearly a self-taught folk artist in the postmodern tradition – the vulgar provincials are incapable of comprehending his genius. The poor chap evidently lacks an agent to get him on the Arts Council circuit. Perhaps Charles Saatchi would like to bung him a few grand to crack one out into a mound of cowshit for the edification of metropolitan sophisticates who can truly appreciate this profound critique of capitalism?
So far as I can recall, Roger’s Profanisaurus has yet to come up with a term for this peccadillo. I’d better write to Viz to draw their attention to this lapse.
Tauro-coprophiliac?
The heart wants what it wants. Although this is possibly not what Emily Dickinson had in mind.
Ahhhh, the countryside …
From ‘Private Eye’, quoting the ‘Times and Star’ [Cumbria], 23rd June 2000.
‘”This whole story has been blown out of proportion,” said a spokeswoman for the Over&Sons Garage in Aspatria. “It is true that a man walked onto our forecourt in the Market Place with a fox under his arm last week, pushed the compressed air nozzle of the into its rectum, popped 20p in the slot, and pumped it until it exploded. But what the reports fail to mention is that the animal was already dead”.
The spokeswoman explained that the garage had been under siege for several days following reports about the incidents. “There were animal parts scattered all over the forecourt, and a lot of people were shocked and horrified. A report appeared in the local paper, talking about ‘This sickening and horrible act’, and the next day the nasty phone calls started. Animal rights activists threatened to make reprisal attacks on the garage, and we had to call more staff in, because nobody would work here alone.
“But what really happened was an amateur taxidermist had brought the dead fox in and asked if he could pump some air between the fur and the skin to loosen the pelt. We said he could, but he overdid it a bit, then ran away in embarrassment. It ought to be obvious to anyone that the animal couldn’t have been alive. I mean, it’s hard enough to hold a living fox, let alone insert an airline up its rectum, I should imagine”.
Police confirmed that they had later spoken to a man about the incident. “We are convinced that no criminal act has taken place. But we did warn him about the inadvisability of inflating animals in a public place”‘.
But we did warn him about the inadvisability of inflating animals in a public place.
An easy mistake to make. Who here hasn’t done something similar?
Yeah the fox story, like the fox, has been blown up out of all proportion.
Happened to me once. Slipped in the barnyard while leading a horse, rolled to get out from under the mare, and felt the soft allure of the fresh manure on my neck and arm. I wasn’t nekked though. Had my rubber boots on. And pants.