Insert Coin for Dancing Monkey
Patrons are reminded that this rickety barge is kept afloat by the kidneys of strangers. No, wait, the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant for a while longer, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love for this low establishment. Debit and credit cards accepted. Additionally, any Amazon shopping done via the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you. For newcomers wishing to know more about what goes on here, the reheated series and greatest hits are good places to start.
Again, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company.
No, thank you. This “rickety barge” is always a treat! =^D
::rattles tip jar::
Look at it this way: it’s better than waking up in a bathtub full of ice in a cheap motel…
this rickety barge is kept afloat by the kidneys of strangers.
A disturbing mental image. Can’t spare a kidney but I have thrown some cash in the tip jar.
Happy to chip in.
Come on, David. Surely you’re tempted?
https://twitter.com/PennyRed/status/472419449568772096
Thanks to all who’ve chipped in so far. Much appreciated. It makes a big difference to how much time I can spend banging on and loitering in the comments with the punters. And I think this is one of those blogs where what happens in the comments is often much more interesting than the actual posts.
Come on, David. Surely you’re tempted?
Heh. I somehow doubt Ms Penny would oblige.
A disturbing mental image.
Based on a real typo and the wonders of spellcheck.
*hits tip jar*
Why, thank you kindly, sir.
Have a drink or two on me, David.
Gladly. Your blog has been a regular read for seven years. Some great comments here too.
A respectful tenner for you as a small incentive. Just don’t tell my wife…
Just don’t tell my wife…
Donations appear on your credit card statement as “Farmyard Erotica,” so you’ll be fine.
“Farmyard Erotica”? No problem: separate credit cards. Phew!
Thanks David, some very funny stuff indeed, both above and below the line. Your blog is my one stop shop for all my Idiot Left needs!
I’m sure I recall you mentioning a book that you were working on?
Any update?
Oh, have a drink on me too.
Oh, I dunno.
All these years on this blog and STILL I never learned this important tidbit.
Not until I get my money’s worth, is what.
Unfortunately I don’t have the money to hit the tip jar right now, so I’ll link to this Twitter debate.
My favorite bit:
Cathal,
Any update?
Shelved, I’m afraid.
dicentra,
this important tidbit.
The incline of randomness is quite steep.
Ted,
The Y chromosome is a Y chromosome. Calling it male is a cissexist convenience.
Oh my, it’s much too early for that. [ Rubs eyes, sips coffee. ]
My capitalist leanings make me happy to shed cash on things I find worthy. Keep up the worthy work.I hope this donation works with antipodean currency.
The monkey must keep dancing. *hits tip jar*
Tipped. Happy to.
Oh my, it’s much too early for that. [ Rubs eyes, sips coffee. ]
You said the most interesting stuff happens in the comments, so I was trying to make the comments interesting for you. 🙂
You said the most interesting stuff happens in the comments, so I was trying to make the comments interesting for you.
And happily, seven years in, they still are. No small feat.
I wish to know more of this dancing monkey. ( Tosses coin to organ grinder)
There’s a story about Sammy Shark who was swimming in the English channel when he met his friend Sidney Squid who looked decidedly ill. “You need to get down the the Med where the water’s warm,” he said. “I’d never make it, Sam,” said Sid.
So Sammy Shark invited Sid to hold on to his fin and said he’d take him in tow.
The water warmed as they went further south and before long they’d passed the Pillars of Hercules and Sam swam straight up to Barney Barracuda.
“Hey, Barney,” he said. “Here’s that sick squid I owe you,”
Best I could do this month. BTW I thought GoE project DM was still on the QT.
Tip jar, uh, uh, de de de de, dink … clink!
After taking a deep breath I stumped up what I thought was a generous serve of Australian dollars only to learn after I hit the button that it was GBP. Oh well, still happy to pay for something I really enjoy.
A year’s supply of Farmyard Erotica, please.
*hits tip jar*
Like Geoff of Canberra, I’m also happy to pay for something I actually like and want (AUD$50 ‘rattle’). BTW for those put off by the PayPal logo – fear not: clicking on the button also allows a traditional pay by credit card transaction. Let’s keep David on his soapbox please!
*slaps money on counter*
Two, please.
OT
Just saw this headline on io9’s Twitter feed :
“A Handy Chart Showing Every Tawdry Encounter Ever On Penny Dreadful”
Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be some nonsense about a steampunk TV series …
OT (x 2)
More wisdom from Miss Barlow – the primary school teacher who believes that Nazism represented “the blood lust of unfettered capitalism”:
“The Plutonomist Manifesto”
Ah, so there’s a credit card option hiding behind the PayPal button…
“OK duck, make with da eggs”
Turns out SOME hashtag activism makes purrrfect sense.
UP THE CATRIARCHY!
Oh, Dicentra!
That has just made my day! I can’t resist putting up a few gems …
#YesAllCats because shedding hair shouldn’t be looked at as an inconvenience. You should accept us the way we naturally are. Good and bad.
#YesAllCats Because when I get injured “Owners” shrug it off saying we have nine lives instead of trying to protect our lives.
We shouldn’t have to teach cats not to barf on the rug, but we should teach humans not to put the rug where cats can barf on it #YesAllCats
#YesAllCats because I don’t lick myself so you can enjoy the view, I’m trying to look nice in case better owners come along.
People need to stop making fun of our poor grammar. #YesAllCats
Moar!
The depressing part is, of course, how easy that hashtag is to parody. Copy, paste, swap out a few nouns.
Oh My Christ I’m crying with laughter here, these are absolutely astounding – have to do it: my favourites from the list above:
#YesAllCats because I have to bury my faeces with shame but dogs get their own personal turd butlers. PICK MY SHIT UP!
#Yesallcats because dogs are valorized in movies 23 times more often than cats. Where’s the Bechdel Test for that?
#YesAllCats because I choose to walk down the street with my tail in the air doesn’t mean you can stare at my arse linky
#YesAllCats Because a Google search shows what our culture thinks of us linky
#YesAllCats live in fear of the vacuum cleaner, yet are expected to just “deal with it”.
Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be some nonsense about a steampunk TV series
Which I’ve actually been watching, once the wine has been opened. It’s not exactly Hannibal, but it’s been brisk and diverting so far. The camp Egyptologist made me laugh. And my impression is that Laurie leans more towards mid-Eighties cyborg fashion nightmare.
David – I’m fine with the Farmyard Erotica bill, it’s bound to be less embarrassing than when me and some mates went to see what I assured everyone would be a blue movie. It was called “Naked Lunch” and it put me off both nudity and lunch.
On a completely unrelated note, thanks for the Laurie picture. I didn’t realise they had cast somebody for the role of Vera Webster in the forthcoming Superman III remake.
The pre-op transexual dominatrix look isn’t for everybody, but I think she pulls it off.
Nikw211 – The Plutonomist Manifesto eh?
And dicentra – delightful kitties, you say?
http://m.memegenerator.net/instance/43785763
#YesAllCats because nobody ever threatens to curb the bonuses of “fat dogs” 🙁
mid-Eighties cyborg fashion nightmare.
Egad! Well, she’s certainly somebody’s electric friend in all that get up.
And no offence meant to your latest evening viewing.
The Plutonomist Manifesto eh?
Heh. Well, there seems to be a lot of that kind of thing flying around at the moment.
And speaking of #YesAllCats stuff, don’t you have a cat called Madame Fluffybottom?
Er yeah, old man, you can have a pint or so on me (sent.) You are arguably the second most amusing classical liberal blogger out here, so yeah. Keep buggering on, won’t you.
“The Plutonomist Manifesto”
That was the first Star Wars prequel, wasn’t it?
mid-Eighties cyborg fashion nightmare.
Egad! Well, she’s certainly somebody’s electric friend in all that get up.
Weeeelll . . . actually while that may not be widely practiced, that’s entirely current.
Entirely by contrast, among the failures of the ‘Empties were the American football pads stuffed into everything, and the additionally surreally tacky arm seams, as if the wearer’s shoulders were erupting straight out from the mid ribs . . . in that picture one can actually see her actual shoulders instead of cancerous appearing lumps, and also the very normal and expected shoulder seams . . .
And no offence meant to your latest evening viewing.
It’s basically The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen but with more cleavage and shagging. And so it bounds from tea, crumpets and intrigue to post-séance erotomania and man-on-man tongue action. What’s not to like?
You are arguably the second most amusing classical liberal blogger out here, so yeah.
Heh. I should put that in the brochure. According to one blog ranking site, this is the “30th most influential blog” in the category of “other.” Imagine my excitement.
[ Checks weight of tip jar ]
I’m suddenly feeling a warm benevolence towards my fellow man. Thanks again to all who chipped in. Don’t worry, the benevolence will pass. Most likely while rummaging through the Guardian.
It’s basically The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen but with more cleavage and shagging.
Even more shagging? That must be some serious amount of shagging …
I suspect Game of Thrones has forever raised the bar for how much shagging a TV series can take.
Nikw211 – “don’t you have a cat called Madame Fluffybottom?”
Yes! She can be Madam or Princess Flyffybottom, depending on how regal she feels. But that’s not her only name. I don’t think you can do justice to all aspects of a cat’s essential catness with just one name.
She’s also known as Lady Purrington, Earth, Wind & Fur, and Cheetara.
But I think her real name, the secret name she calls herself, is Rrrrooowwwlllprr, Destroyer Of Soft Furnishings
She also has a suitor, a big one eyed tomcat who hangs around my bins. I call him The Governor.
Big Joe a Turner had a one-eyed cat that would go peeping in seafood stores. Doubt they’re related, though.
I suspect Game of Thrones has forever raised the bar
Heh. I guess that’s true of the series as a whole. However the most astonishing scene they ever did was giving something like a whole three minutes of screen time to Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen) to deliver a solid block of exposition (covering about four chapters of one of plot from the books) while two women were going at it like randy weasels in a sack in the background.
Destroyer Of Soft Furnishings
Puh-ha ha ha ha … Cats.
OT
In London for the day and have dropped into the ICA on the Mall, and as a consequence have just seen this Tauba Auerbach exhibit about which the blurb (is that the right word?) on the gallery wall says, amongst other things, that these sculptures of hers:
circumnavigate the impossibility of reflecting a 3D object without flipping it over in 4D space.
Just ponder that for a moment.
Then look at the artist standing next to what is actually being described here.
And that’s just downstairs. Upstairs there was this
Make of that what you will.
Quick note: just an hour earlier I was looking at Velzquez and Manet in the National.
circumnavigate the impossibility of reflecting a 3D object without flipping it over in 4D space.
That sound you hear is the screaming of several thousand physicists and mathematicians, some of whom may boast a passing acquaintance with mirrors.
Excuse me while I tunnel into hyperspace to check my hair.
WTP – no, that was a cool cat from America. The Governor is an English cat who likes sunbathing on my bins, and raising a cat army to subjugate all mankind.
Nikw211 –
http://24.media.tumblr.com/a3a79861ea82a771da3efd2869139c17/tumblr_n4669jf4SS1qbaer4o1_r3_1280.jpg
She just bought that from Homebase, didn’t she?
So it’s a hyperspace dish drainer?
It’s the towel rack of the future.
Mick Hartley has more exciting art news. It’s life-enhancing stuff.
“Heh. I guess that’s true of the series as a whole. However the most astonishing scene they ever did was giving something like a whole three minutes of screen time to Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen) to deliver a solid block of exposition (covering about four chapters of one of plot from the books) while two women were going at it like randy weasels in a sack in the background.”
And they laughed at Bob Guccione when he tried that in Caligula. Civilisation advances, or at least, moves on.
“A group of art enthusiasts are introduced to the complexities of Bill Woodrow’s meditation on colonialism”
Colonialism? What is this, the 1960’s?
Was this timely musing on colonialism next to the Penny Farthing display and the compendium of waxed moustaches?
Done. Please keep up the good work
Ah, we are donating aren’t we in the (hopefully NOT mistaken) belief that doing so will remove us from the “kidneys please” list ?
Please don’t take my kidneys. *throws money in tip jar*