Vatican: the board game. “Historically accurate… the ideal gift.” (H/T, Dan Collins.) // How to hide. // The flying car. “The ultimate off-road vehicle.” With video. More. // Via 1+1=3, stamps featuring UFOs. // Strange goings-on in the woods. // Stephen Law on an improbable universe.  More. // Nick Cohen on unmentionable bad guys. “Even though it’s the truth, on screen it might appear bigoted and jingoistic.” // Dan Collins on BBC bias. “This ignorance of the realities… enabled us to occupy the moral high ground.” // Via Coudal, Gerard Maynard’s Harlem panorama. // The aerodynamic umbrella. “Resists storms up to wind force 10.” // Stairs. // Spiders drugged with caffeine, cannabis, LSD. // Beer festival calendar. Drink globally, quite often. // Blade Runner: The Final Cut. // Via Bedazzled, B-movie trailers from hell. // Franzl Lang. He yodels. (H/T, Vitruvius.) // Screensaver shows global blog activity in real time, more or less. // The Fantastic in Art & Fiction. Strange spaces, peculiar happenings. // Aurora, seen from space. // 1.18.08. Be afraid. // No, fear not, here’s the Japanese It’s Alright Song.

Further to Manish Vij’s claims that Apu is a “crude racist stereotype” and that Hank Azaria is actually a “brown man”, today the Guardian’s very own PC bigot Joseph Harker berates those who dared to disagree.

Readers may remember Mr Harker for his willingness to redefine words to suit his arguments, his repeated assertion that “all white people are racist,” and his belief that, “as a black man… I cannot be racist… because in the global order I do not belong to the dominant group.” (Some of the more discerning Guardian readers have wondered how this remarkable claim might address the realities of “dominant power” in, say, Zimbabwe, or overtly racist assaults committed by people with dark skin.)   

Today, Mr Harker would have us believe that Manish Vij “put across some cogent arguments” – sadly, none of which are specified – and that the disagreement of many readers was in fact an example of the “now wearisome onslaught faced by any ethnic minority writer flagging up the issue of racism”: 

“Overwhelmingly negative, it seems that nearly every commenter either didn’t understand his argument, or didn’t want to. Each (rare) comment expressing empathy with the writer was immediately drowned out by a welter of antis.”

Harker doesn’t appear to entertain the – perhaps more obvious – possibility that readers did understand Vij’s arguments and simply found them wanting or absurd – for instance, the bizarre confusion regarding Mr Azaria’s pigmentation. Instead, Harker blames his non-compliant readers and insinuates some nefarious racial prejudice:

“Now, the Guardian is part of the British national press, which has traditionally been produced by and for white people (though things are slowly beginning to change). But this paper is at least supposed to be at the liberal end of the spectrum, so one would have thought there’d be a few progressive types out there prepared to come forward. But where are you? Have you all been frightened off by the bullies, the boors and the bigots?”   

Naturally, Harker pre-emptively defines “progressives” as those who agree with Manish Vij, and by extension with himself. One therefore wonders whether those who have the temerity to disagree with Mr Harker, even on matters of fact and logic, will in turn be dismissed as cowards, boors and bigots.

Righteously, he continues:

“Some time ago I wrote saying that all white people are racist. I didn’t mean in-your-face, BNP-style racism, but the subtle, unthinking, subliminal kind. Now I think I was being too kind… If we want to have a sensible discussion about race, or racism, is it possible on a general-access website such as this? Or do we need to find a new corner of cyberspace, and boldly go where no stupid white man has gone before?”

It is, I fear, significant that Harker’s solution to encountering unexpected disagreement is to yearn for a different venue and a more sympathetic audience, rather than to present a more convincing argument.

Well-heeled egalitarian Polly Toynbee (“of the Toynbees”) continues her public hissing contest with bumbling rogue, Boris Johnson: 

“Of course if a monkey can be elected mayor of Hartlepool, Boris Johnson might be elected mayor of London. Jester, toff, self-absorbed sociopath and serial liar, the man could still win. Even Conrad Black called him ‘a duplicitous scoundrel’, and he should know. But it’s truly alarming that he who has never run anything except his own image could be in charge of this mighty financial centre – and some of the poorest, neediest boroughs in the country… Don’t be fooled. Despite that designer shambolic demeanour, Boris is not called blond ambition for nothing, with a gargantuan appetite for everything: fame, women, money, praise – and power… Perhaps because he was not born to great wealth, unlike Cameron and Osborne, he revels in everything elite – intellectual, social or monied…”

Here’s Boris on Polly:

“She joins the usual Labour snarling against fee-paying education, and selective education of all kinds. In reality, of course, she is the beneficiary of a highly selective education and also sent her own offspring to one of the most expensive public schools in the country, an establishment way beyond the means of most people. Of course there will be those who accuse her of monstrous hypocrisy, and wonder… how on earth she can insist on imposing a one-size-fits-all comprehensive system on the rest of the country, and close down the opportunities of so many poor but bright kids, when she has so ruthlessly maximised the opportunities of her own children…

Then there will be those who complain that it is hypocritical of Polly to have her lovely second home in Italy, to which she doubtless repairs on so many cheapo flights that she has personally quilted the earth in a tea-cosy of CO2; to which I say, yes, it probably is wrong of Polly to keep calling for higher taxes when that would put such opportunities – for air travel to second homes – beyond the reach of millions slightly less fortunate than her. But never mind the hypocrisy: look at the fundamental Tory behaviour. At least she’s renting the villa out at pretty keen rates.”

More at Devil’s Kitchen, Tim Worstall and Factchecking Pollyanna.

Click to, um, enlarge. More. Have at it, burly chaps! (H/T, The Thin Man.)

I hesitate to comment on The Simpsons, but the Guardian website has a wonderfully absurd piece by Manish Vij on the “crude racist stereotype” that is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

“The Simpsons has long irritated some Indian-Americans because of the thickly stereotypical character of Apu, the effete cornershop owner with fractured English, excess fertility, bizarre religious practices, illegal immigration status and a penchant for cheating customers. Apu is quite a unique character on The Simpsons. Unlike the show’s parodies of policemen and Irish-Americans, he’s the only character to mock a small American minority relatively unknown in the mainstream, and he’s by far the most visible immigrant.”

Fans of the grotesque Groundskeeper Willie might disagree with this claim, and one might wonder why the size and visibility of a minority has any obvious bearing on the alleged grievousness of the parody. Insofar as any Simpsons character is actually sympathetic and not a stereotype or parody of something, Apu seems to be one of the least dislikeable ones. And I find myself wondering how Vij would rewrite Apu’s character to spare our sensitivities, and just how funny and endearing that corrected version would be.

But the po-faced absurdity of the piece is summed up rather well by Vij’s disdain for the “Peter Sellers simulacrum of an Indian accent” and his assertion that “Apu’s voice Hank Azaria, a Greek-American, is a brown man doing a white man doing a brown man.” Readers unfamiliar with Mr Azaria’s pigmentation will be amazed to see just how brown he is.

More at Pickled Politics, where Rohin attempts to navigate the labyrinth of umbrage.

Further to this post and recent comments on the word “bourgeois”, this might be of interest. Norm has posted an itemised piece by Democratiya editor, Alan Johnson, called Why I Am Not a Marxist. It’s quite good on the fundamental unrealism of Marxist theory, its quasi-religious dynamics, and the evils inherent to its practical application. Here’s a very small taste:

“Fifth, the extraordinary romantic hostility to ‘bourgeois’ society that Marxism projects. Hatred of ‘bourgeois’ rights, ‘bourgeois’ democracy, ‘bourgeois’ morality, ‘bourgeois’ art, the ‘bourgeois’ family (and on and on), has fuelled hatred toward decent if prosaic societies and institutions and indulgence or worse toward appalling societies and institutions. And all in the name and the spirit of being ‘anti-capitalist’ or ‘anti-bourgeois’…

This animus against things ‘bourgeois’ I have come to despise. It is reckless about the defence of democratic society, insensible to how truly miserable the actually existing alternatives to ‘bourgeois’ society have been, and quick to morph into support for any thug who happens to be shooting at anything identified as ‘bourgeois’. This animus is the common sense of much of the intellectual class in the West where it is called ‘critical theory’. Inchoate negativism toward anything ‘bourgeois’ has morphed into support for anything that is ‘transgressive’. We are all Hezbollah now.”

It’s worth reading in full. Related, Fabian on bourgeois-on-bourgeois hatred.

Update: Chris Dillow points out Marx was wrong and unoriginal.

Thanks to Franklin at Artblog, I rediscovered Frank Miller’s NPR piece on patriotism and real-life supervillainy. Given some of Miller’s previous work, it’s an interesting development. Here’s an extract: 

“To me, [the flag] stood for unthinking patriotism. It meant about as much to me as that insipid peace sign that was everywhere I looked: just another symbol of a generation’s sentimentality, of its narcissistic worship of its own past glories. Then came that sunny September morning when airplanes crashed into towers a very few miles from my home and thousands of my neighbours were ruthlessly incinerated… Now, I draw and write comic books. One thing my job involves is making up bad guys; imagining human villainy in all its forms. Now the real thing had shown up. The real thing murdered my neighbours. In my city. In my country…

For the first time in my life, I know how it feels to face an existential menace. They want us to die. All of a sudden I realize what my parents were talking about all those years. Patriotism, I now believe, isn’t some sentimental, old conceit. It’s self-preservation. I believe patriotism is central to a nation’s survival. Ben Franklin said it: If we don’t all hang together, we all hang separately. Just like you have to fight to protect your friends and family, and you count on them to watch your own back.”

More here.

The creator of Sin City and The Dark Knight Returns has described his next book, Holy Terror, Batman! as “a piece of propaganda” and “a reminder to people who seem to have forgotten who we’re up against.”

Over at Samizdata, Perry de Havilland has a few thoughts on recent efforts by the Commission for Racial Equality to have Hergé’s Tintin in the Congo removed entirely from the shelves of British booksellers:

Tintin in the Congo has been moved to Borders’ adult graphic novel section and can be bought online here. Predictably, sales of the title have risen dramatically in the wake of the CRE’s protests. The book also comes with a warning that its contents include “bourgeois, paternalistic stereotypes of the period – an interpretation some readers may find offensive.” Readers will be thrilled to hear that Tintin in the Land of the Soviets is still available too. More on Tintin here.

I mention this because a few hours ago I caught part of the 1955 film The Dam Busters in which Richard Todd plays Wing Commander Guy Gibson, whose dog, a black labrador, is, unfortunately, called “Nigger”. Which raises the question of whether subsequent screenings will entail some discreet redubbing at the hands of the CRE.

A moving experience.

More here. (H/T, Vitruvius.)

Xenu is Loose! Scientology the musical. // Bees make vase. One vase, one week, 40,000 bees. // Hawk versus deer. // Dub versus cornstarch. (H/T, Chastity Darling) // Norman Geras on God and being eaten by aliens. // Jeff Goldstein on “hate speech” and illiberal liberals. // Terrorism as a bourgeois vice. // Iranian and Egyptian cartoons. Humour not entirely obvious. // Man robs bank disguised as tree. (H/T, Ace.) // Via Coconut Jam, bubblegum cards. All of them, just about. // Type the sky. (H/T, Coudal.) // State-of-the-art eyelash curler offers “ultimate precision.” // Kitchen blender blends phones, toys, cans of cheese. (H/T, Dr Westerhaus.) // Stupid movie physics. Cars burst into flames for no apparent reason. // Larry Niven on the problems of human-kryptonian intercourse. Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex. // New polymer for armoured, flexible suits. (H/T, Warren Ellis.) // Robotic toilet provides “family environment” and discourages “homosexual activity.” // Balloons + lawn chair = beer at 13,000 feet. (H/T, Ace.) // Cute and moody mini-drama by Isaak Fernandez Rodriguez. But how does it end? // Holy conceptual nightmare, Batman! The Riddler sings. (H/T, EQ-ualiser)